Suddenly, thanks to Tiger Woods’s speech, there’s a new word being thrown around by the pundits: “Entitlement”.
The funniest thing about this is that you can tell that they have no idea what they’re talking about when they say the word.
I mean, they understand the definition of the word, but since it’s something they’ve never had in their entire lives, they speak about it as if it’s an alien concept or as if Tiger’s suffering from delusions of grandeur.
I also understand now why they keep trying to call guys sex addicts. For people that grew up without entitlement or never achieved it in their lives, the behaviors don’t make sense.
I will now attempt to clear this up.. though I don’t expect you to understand anything I’m about to write. 😀
I live in the United States of America. I live in New York City, the capital of the universe. It’s currently 1:47 AM or 0147 to you Europeans and I can go get food RIGHT. THIS. SECOND. I can stop typing and go get potato chips, beer, cooked food or sit down in a restaurant as if it were the bright daylight afternoon… Right Now. I could do it again at 3 am and again at 5 am. We have 24-hour restaurants here. 24-hour grocery stores. 24-hour cabs trying to pick us up and take us somewhere. 24-hour public buses and subways, though they run really infrequently at this time of night.
Because of this, food is nothing to me. It’s nothing because I can always get it. I mean, I *LIKE* food, haha.. I’m just saying that I’ve visited relatives that live in the sticks, and life isn’t so easy out there. The restaurants all close… EARLY. You can’t buy beer after a certain time of night.. midnight? If you get hungry in the middle of the night, you’re stuck with whatever you have stocked up in your house. You can’t go sit down for a freshly-prepared burger or slice of pizza.
(Yes.. I’m aware that there are worse situations like people that live here but are BROKE and can’t afford food, people that live in places where they just plain can’t GET food and are starving to death and people whose houses are currently rubble and they’re living outside in tents.)
If I were to say to someone that lives in the sticks that I’m heading out for a deluxe burger platter at 2 am, they might perceive me as bragging when I’m merely informing them of the facts of the situation. WHAT I say is going to make them feel that way and HOW I say it is going to make it even worse. I speak as if I’m “entitled” to what I have because I’m USED TO what I have. I can go to the store + I have money to spend = I am entitled to eat whatever’s available right now that I want and can afford.
I’m not going to sound like I have sympathy for people that live in the sticks, because I don’t. Not because I dislike them. I TOTALLY like them! 😀 It’s just that I have no point of reference other than visiting cousins for feeling what it’s like to live a deprived lifestyle. HAHAHA Now you’re mad that I called them “deprived” hahaha 😀
Unfortunately, just the same way you can’t understand my life and will call me egotistical, arrogant, stuck up, full of myself, narcissistic and whatever else, I can’t understand YOUR life, which is why my blog posts end up written how they are. I’m trying to explain the inexplicable because unless you’re living the same lifestyle, we can’t honestly discuss it and get down to the nitty-gritty.
I would feel differently about life right now if I didn’t have 24-hour access to food, and I would carry myself differently and do things differently.
The USA is currently in a recession. People are losing their jobs. People are going broke. I’m fully aware of this.
I am a freelancer. I have an unique skill set that keeps me in demand regardless of what happens with the economy.
In fact, the more people that get fired in the video editing industry, the more demand there is for freelancers because we’re better and faster than staffers AND once the project is over, you don’t pay us another dime. You have to pay staffers whether they’re working or not.. all. year. round.
Regardless of my technical understanding of what a recession is, I don’t actually know what it’s like to experience what millions of people are going through right now.
Actually, I don’t even know what it’s like to be a regular video editor, working for random people and answering ads on Craig’s List or whatever, trying to get paid. All the work I do is through word of mouth.. Referrals from clients who know the speed & quality of my work and that I always get the job done (I’ve “missed air” one time in history, back in the Bloomberg Information Television days, and that piece aired 20 minutes later).
Similar to the food issue, this is going to sound egotistical or arrogant when I’m merely stating provable facts. You can go call up the people that I’ve worked for and ask them who I am and how their experience was. You’ll get the same answer, across the board.
Also, if you were to hear me actually say something about the recession, what you’ll come away with is that I’m speaking of it as a concept, not something that adversely affects my lifestyle. Someone who’s actually lost a job or a home or whatever because of it will speak passionately about the recession because it’s not something they saw on television. It’s something that actually HAS happened to them and *IS* HAPPENING to them right now. I have complete sympathy for that situation, and I hope we get it together ASAP so people can return to prosperity, but without news programs and the internet, I wouldn’t personally be aware that anything’s wrong with the economy at all.
I wanted to make the Food and Business points to illustrate that just because millions of people are living (or not-living) without food and millions of people are personally feeling the effects of the current recession, that doesn’t mean that EVERYONE’S experiencing those same things in their personal version of reality.
A friend of mine recently wrote “The truth does not matter. The only thing that matters is perception.” I’m sorry that she realized that because of a negative situation, but it’s entirely accurate. There is no ABSOLUTE. Even when millions of people agree on something, that doesn’t rule out anomalies. Two people can look at the exact same thing and “see” entirely different things.
One thing that millions of people agree about is that each guy deserves ONE girl, and vice versa. This makes sense for a lot of structural reasons, such as proving paternity. It’s really best that you’re in a simultaneously-monogamous relationship if you want to be sure that your kids are YOUR kids. I say “simultaneously” because there are lots of people that are in monogamous relationships with people that aren’t being monogamous with THEM. O_o
One Guy, One Girl (OGOG? haha) DOESN’T make any sense when women are attracted to you quickly and often. It’s even worse when you get used to that from an early age. I wouldn’t even call that feelings of “entitlement”, because it’s just the luck of the draw. It’s just the way life is. It’s like with money.. Some kids grow up rich and some kids grow up poor. The rich kids aren’t “entitled” to being rich, they’re just USED TO IT.. Being Rich is regular life to them and being poor is something they understand but can’t personally feel.
A homeboy of mine called me the other day and told me about how he met this chick and had sex with her within a few hours of the first time he ever saw her in life. I laughed along with the story and enjoyed the play-by-play, but I wasn’t like “THAT’S AMAZING!!! :O .. HOW DID YOU PULL *THAT* OFF??? :O” because it’s not amazing. It’s regular. No pun intended, but “it’s par for the course”! HAHAHA 😀
It’s not SUPPOSED to take us a long time to hook up with chicks. We’re not SUPPOSED to have to date them and promise them stuff for them to want to spend time with us. It’s very simple. She’s interested in someone.. Whomever she’s interested in likes her too. Done deal.
Once again, this isn’t an issue of arrogance or even entitlement. It’s just an honest expression of the facts of lives that are similar to “Jersey Shore”, except we don’t go on vacation to meet chicks… It’s a daily operation.
Girlfriends & Wives
To tell a gal that you’re her boyfriend indicates that you’re willing to follow a set of rules that the two of you agree to. You should only agree to accepting rules if you intend to follow HER rules for YOUR life, which I do not.
Therefore, it’s disingenuous to lead someone on and Act As If they have some kind of control over your life when you know damned well that you’re going to do whatever you want whenever you want, and if she doesn’t like it, that’s too bad for her.
This is the main area where my personal way of being diverges from Mr Woods’ (Tiger, not Eric). Back in the day, when the reports started floating around the internet that he was going to get married, I said to everyone that brought it up “What For? \o/”.
I couldn’t understand why a guy that has everything going for him wanted to get married. Yeah, his girl was hawt.. we all saw the pictures, but dude was/is a young, famous, rich sports star, so hawt chicks are going to make themselves available to him everywhere he goes. Golf is an international sport, so he’s going to have his pick of women world-wide. The selection in NYC is GOOD ENOUGH.. I can’t imagine ACTUAL Italian chicks instead of Italian-Americans from Queens.. It’s like “Are you MAD?.. What’s the matter with you, getting married?”
Come to find out, five years later, Tiger had his cake and ate it too. Instead of going the route that *I* would have suggested and staying single until he actually FELT like being with just one chick, he went the Family route and the Playboy route at the same time.
In explaining this, he said he felt ENTITLED to the chicks he hooked up with, because he worked hard to be successful. He’s absolutely right about that. He *IS* entitled to all the chicks that are attracted to him as well as all the chicks he can afford. The only problem is that he swore on a stack of bibles that he wasn’t going to hook up with anyone but his wife after 2004 AD. What he was “entitled” to do after that was keep his word and not mess around behind her back.
On a lower level, the same thing applies to girlfriends. You’re promising them something and your word’s supposed to be valuable. If you can’t or won’t yield to personal restrictions on your way of being, stay single, do what you do and get in where you fit in.
To put that another way.. When the concept of being in an exclusive relationship means NOTHING to you and SOMETHING to the other person, the noble and “right” thing to do, as I see it, is to NOT tell them you’re on the same page with them when you know that you aren’t. Unfortunately, a guy would have to have superior confidence in his game to roll like that. Most guys aren’t willing to risk the loss, so they lie to the chick about what’s really going on and ride it out until they get caught.
Apologies & Solutions
I already said that I didn’t feel that Tiger Woods’ “apology” was genuine. To expand on that idea, how genuine can an apology be when you’re trying to explain your actual life away?
“I’m sorry I can go to a restaurant in the middle of the night and get cooked food”
“I’m sorry that I’m not adversely affected by the recession”
“I’m sorry that chicks like me and throw sex at me”
“I’m sorry that I live in New York City”
“I’m sorry that I meet new girls every single week of my life”
How are you supposed to make statements like that sound sincere? 😀
Those are things people WANT you to feel sorry about because their lives don’t match up to your life. Those are things that people WANT you to feel odd about because millions of people don’t experience life the same way you do.
If I were in Africa (or Flint, Michigan) they would call me a Food Addict. What’s the matter with this guy? It’s 3 am and he’s asking us if we have a menu from a place that’s open right now and will deliver Philly Steak & Cheese sandwiches. :/
If people look at my photo sets between 2007 and 2010, they’ll say “That guy’s an alcoholic! :O” because I usually have a drink in my hand because I’m usually partying because that’s “how we do” in NYC.
If people look at Tiger Woods, they’ll say “That guy’s a sex addict” because he hooked up with 14 chicks in 5 years. *yawn* The conventional wisdom behind that is that people are ASSUMING that he ever intended to only have sex with his wife for the rest of his life and he “wasn’t able” to maintain that. Something MUST be wrong with him, right? He’s trying as hard as he can not to hook up with chicks that throw sex at him, but somehow, he just FAILS left and right and they’re going to fix him in sex rehab, right?
There’s nothing to fix. Tiger Woods is DIFFERENT. FROM. YOU. He is NOT. SIMILAR. TO. YOU. He has more opportunity than you. He knows what he’s doing and he’s been doing it. As far as you’re concerned, he’s a “strange” person acting regularly, but he needs to convince you that he’s a “regular” person acting strangely.
What actually needs to happen is Tiger needs to be taught how to throw away the life that he CAN live and HAS BEEN LIVING and exchange it for the life he opted into by getting married. Is there an actual reason why he shouldn’t hook up with whomever he likes whenever he likes? Nope. Had he not gotten married, he’d be a playboy like Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez, Charlie Sheen and like a million other dudes that do whatever they want when it comes to chicks.
Since he DID get married, and he’s not willing to give up the chick, kids & cash, he’s going to have to learn how to play that role. He’s going to have to learn how to live a lesser life than he could personally achieve on the strength of his success, wealth & fame. It’s like having a million dollars but having agreed to live in a log cabin. You can AFFORD a mansion, but you already agreed not to live in it.
THAT’S the issue.. *NOT* Sexual Addiction, but living an entirely different lifestyle that’s been deemed deviant since the masses can’t live that way and don’t want to believe it’s normal life for some people.
Unfortunately, that exact same society won’t allow a guy to stand at a podium and say “I get more girls than you. I get better girls than you. I could have YOUR girl if I wanted her. I’m richer than you. I own more property than you. I’m a superstar. I’m a sports hero. I’m Living The American Dream!” and still consider him a role model, so you cop a plea. “I’m just like you. I value the concept of marriage. I’m religious. I have no idea why I screwed all those waitresses, but these doctors that have probably pulled five chicks in their entire lives are going to fix me. I’m very sorry… Not because I got caught, but because….. okay.. because I got caught. I realize that I could have checked myself into sex rehab in 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 or 2009, except my wife hadn’t found out yet, so **** that. Trust & Believe that I’m going to channel my newfound sexual frustration into kicking all of y’all’s asses on the PGA Tour in 2011. Thank You and Good Night.”