Ladies: Please Get A Clue

You know?….. It’s actually completely amazing to me how differently men and women’s minds work when it comes to relationships. Most of the time, I can’t even believe it. I’m like “Are you serious? :/”.

Let’s think about the concept of being “unable” to remain faithful or screwing a bunch of chicks behind your wife or girlfriend’s back because you were too WEAK to do otherwise… That. Is. The. Most. Retarded. ****. I’ve. Ever. Heard. and it persists. It’s like no matter how much evidence women receive, they refuse to believe that dudes just basically aren’t interested in monogamy.

Maybe some of y’all could leave a comment below and help me out. Let me tell you how it actually works for guys, and then you can tell me how your brain ***** this up.

1) Guy meets girl
2) Girl won’t give it up without blackmail agreement of fidelity
3) Guy agrees to fidelity in order to procure sex from said chick
4) Guy meets a different chick
5) Guy feels like ******* her too and does so
6) Guy doesn’t get caught and his relationship continues
7) Eventually, guy gets caught
8) Girl bounces from relationship, claiming her man was too WEAK to not screw other chicks
9) Guy keeps hooking up with the chicks he has left on the roster
10) Wash, Rinse, Repeat [goto 1]
11) End of Program

Like, I mean how ******* SIMPLE could it possibly be? I don’t know why chicks just can’t get this. \o/

Let me try with a different example:

1) Guy goes to work
2) Two weeks later, the job writes him a check
3) Guy deposits check in bank
4) Bank clears check
5) Guy removes cash from ATM
6) Guy has money
7) Wash, Rinse, Repeat [goto 1]

Please tell me how you mentally arrive at the determination that the guy didn’t really want the money and that some mental or moral deficiency of his is what led to him cashing the check that he didn’t want. Please amaze me once again with your skillz at understanding men, why we do what we do and what our uses for you are.

Why are those situations exactly the same? I’ll tell you. Getting chicks is WORK. Chicks don’t just offer themselves to you like it’s Amsterdam and they’re hookers in the window while you’re walking down the street. WE have to step to chicks. WE have to make it happen. Just like guys go to work BECAUSE they want to get paid, guys talk to girls BECAUSE we want to get laid. Period. Unless we have something in common with you like we’re in the same line of work or share the same hobbies, that’s what we’re doing.. Setting up future-sex.

The work is the TALKING and the check is the SEX. It’s very simple. If you can understand the process whereby a man receives money for work that he did, you can understand how he screws at least 14 chicks behind your back COUGHelinCOUGH, ***** some tattoo-freak-looking chick for 11 months while you’re filming movies COUGHsandraCOUGH, imports hookers across state lines to the tune of $4,000 for something he should be getting for free COUGHsildaCOUGH, or escapes to Argentina to spend intimate time with the love of his life COUGHjennyCOUGH.

Why is it, exactly, that you believe that men that have no problems whatsoever carrying out their myriad duties in life juuuuuuuuuust can’t get a handle on how to NOT **** other women? ๐Ÿ˜€ It’s completely retarded.. really. Have you ever seen Tiger Woods hit a golf ball in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION of the hole he’s trying to get it in? O_o .. Just tee it up and hit it in the direction of the clubhouse instead of the green? Do you think his mind fails to work randomly? Wouldn’t that become evident on the golf course? Wouldn’t he *NOT* be a champion? I can’t hit a golf ball AT ALL. I would thoroughly be unsurprised if I took a swing and the ball went backwards instead of forwards, or maybe straight up in the air and fell back down where the tee used to be. What is it that makes you think being faithful to a chick is tougher than playing golf? What is it that makes you mentally strive to explain away 11-month affairs by saying the guy was too weak to stand up to his commitment? What is it that makes you believe there’s any excuse for hiring $4,000 hookers other than “I felt like it. \o/”?

This is funny and all, but I’m actually sick of this. You don’t know how tough it is for me not to look you in the eye and say “YOU are a ******* IDIOT!”. Guys run multi-million dollar corporations and get elected to high-level public positions BY CALCULATION. How is it that you can look at someone and say he’s so great at getting his way and then not see infidelity as him getting his way as he normally does in life?

My uneducated guess is that you’ve either been properly brainwashed or you don’t want to face the fact that the truth SUCKS! ๐Ÿ˜€ Strangely enough, I have to go with the brainwashing, because it’s amazing to look in chicks’ eyes IRL and SEE that they CLEARLY don’t understand what happened. The evidence just doesn’t register. That’s some good-ass brainwashing right thurrrr. It’s easier than Eddie Murphy said, which is that even if they catch you pounding out another chick and see it with their own eyes, just say “It wasn’t me”.

Anyway, I just needed to rant about this one last time before I attempt to let it go forever. I’m tired. I’m tired of explaining to chicks that monogamy is absolutely unnatural. I’m tired of explaining to chicks that guys hook up with other girls because they feel like it and not because of some derangement or deficiency or weakness. We tell you what we have to tell you to get laid. Some of us mean it, some of us don’t. Get a clue… PLEASE! :/

Join the Conversation


  1. Well, it’s natural for people to want to kill each other when they’ve been wronged. Do we do so? No, because society has conditioned us not to for the sake of its stability. And if we do, we go to prison.

    Same deal: society has conditioned us not to cheat for the sake of its stability. I know every man EVER in a monogamous society imagines he would be better off under polygyny. What they donโ€™t realize is that, for most men who are not extremely desirable, polygyny means no woman at all, or, if they are lucky, a woman who is much less desirable than one they could get under monogamy. Read

    That is why most polygamous societies have ruled hand in hand with totalitarianism: the unhappy men (majority of society) at the bottom had to live in fear of death or they would have revolted because of their unhappiness. Society acts as an alpha proxy to keep men from acting too alpha male (and acquiring more women than their share) so that the majority of men will stay content and there will be peace and harmony, etc.

    We’re seeing that right now with hookup culture: NO ONE hooks up with the losers, but the top percentage gets multiple women. If things continue along the same lines, I predict increasing violence in American society.

    1. All excellent points, Sophia. ๐Ÿ™‚

      I agree with just about everything you said.

      Actually, society has not conditioned us not to cheat. Society has conditioned us not to get CAUGHT cheating. So long as you “cheat” and don’t get caught, stability remains. The problem occurs when the other person FINDS OUT about it.

      Also, I think you’re totally right that if women were encouraged to share men, that would lead to increasing violence in American society.

      I was hanging out with a female friend of mine and told her something to the effect of “Lots of guys would LOVE to be hanging out with you right now”. I wasn’t souping her up or trying to get laid. I was trying to get her to understand that I valued the ability to spend time with her and I recognized how lucky I was compared to other guys, whether she did or not.

      This week, I had three one-on-one hangouts with women over the course of two days, none of whom are my regulars. I could fill up an entire month, socializing with different women that I know each day. If that were somehow blocking other guys from being able to hang out with the same gals, that would definitely be a problem.

      I’m not advocating “cheating” as a desirable lifestyle for women or suggesting that women tolerate it in their relationships. All I’m saying is that it’s so ******* OBVIOUS that guys are attracted to more than one woman that I’m amazed that every time someone gets caught, people are surprised. It’s no mystery. There’s no mental illness. Guys go to work because they feel like getting paid. Guys hook up with chicks because they feel like it, whether they’re in a relationship or not. It’s that simple.

      Are there lots of guys that remain faithful? Sure. Some of them do it because they swore an oath. Some of them do it to uphold their own word because that means something to them. Some of them ACTUALLY want to just mess with their girlfriend or wife and no other women.

  2. Well, you can make that same argument about murder. Society doesn’t condition you not to murder, just not to get caught. Unfortunately, that’s not true. Murder = one less person to contribute to society, just like cheating with a woman = one less woman for a man that would otherwise be dating her. Both are destabilizing societal forces.

    Under monogamy (a general example), equal numbers pair off:
    Men Women
    10 ~ 10
    9 ~ 9
    8 ~ 8
    7 ~ 7
    6 ~ 6
    5 ~ 5
    4 ~ 4
    3 ~ 3
    2 ~ 2
    1 ~ 1

    Under polygamy & current market conditions in NYC (approximation, it’s actually probably even worse than this):
    Men Women
    10 ~ 10 9 8
    9 ~ 7 6
    8 ~ 5
    7 ~ 4
    6 ~ 3
    5 ~ 2
    4 ~ 1
    3 ~ nothing
    2 ~ nothing
    1 ~ nothing

    The bottom half, particularly 1-3, is getting more and more upset, and it’s only a matter of time before something makes them break.

    It’s not obvious, honestly. Most people, particularly women, would be surprised if someone they knew committed a murder because it’s a crime. They don’t have a lot of testosterone, so the urge to do so is foreign. Same deal with cheating — it’s a crime, they don’t have testosterone, so the urge to do it is foreign. Not everyone is good at imagining themselves in someone else’s shoes. You’ve never been surprised at how long a woman has taken to get ready, or how long they’ve spent on the phone to their friend? Well, you don’t have estrogen, so you’re probably not going to get it. Well DUH it’s obvious to us.

    I think you see my point.

    1. Also, BECAUSE we live in society, monogamy IS a natural state of being. We’re not in the wild, fending for ourselves. We’re living in society. If you want to have the security of that institution, you have to make some sacrifices for it. Monogamy is one of them (for alpha males, anyway — for beta males, it’s the best deal). If you don’t like it, you can defect and move to a country like Colombia where aggressiveness and alphamale-ness goes unchecked. If you live in the US, stop whining about how monogamy is unnatural while taking advantage of your more stable situation. I’m sure some Colombian betas will switch with you in a heartbeat.

      1. Monogamy is not natural, REGARDLESS. ๐Ÿ˜€

        You’re confusing society with individual nature. Society is the rules that you agree to follow or suffer the consequences. Nature is what you would actually do if you could do anything at all.

        Society told Tiger Woods to only have sex with his wife. Nature dictated that he screw a bunch of other women because he felt like it, they were down with the program and he could afford it.

        I agree that we all make sacrifices to maintain the institution. That doesn’t mean that our nature changes. That means that our BEHAVIOR conforms to what society expects.

        I’m sure you are speaking in general about “whining”, because I’m personally not whining. I’m stating facts. The fidelity rates within marriages is nowhere near 100%. In fact, it’s closer to 50%.

        I’m not advocating that the society change AT ALL. I agree with you that monogamy is a good thing for the society to attempt to brainwash guys to accept. What I’m saying is that there’s evidence every single day that people do what they want as opposed to what they told their SO they were going to do, just like there are underage kids that drink alcohol and people that drive cars without licenses. They’re not supposed to do those things, but they do. It’s Human Nature.

        1. Right, well I’m agreement with that — it’s nature that guys do that, but if they all did society would go to shit. Just like women aren’t supposed to sleep around with the strongest, hunkiest guy and then have her geeky husband pay to raise the kid he thinks is his. But it definitely happens. It’s in women’s nature to do that, so society conditions women not to be whores or cheat either. If it happened a lot and people found out about it, we’d be in deep shit & things would go to hell pretty quick.

          I’m saying everyone should be doing the right thing, and there’s a really good reason things like monogamy exist so I want guys to stop bitching about it — this whole post sounds like complaining about why people are upset or surprised when men cheat.

          1. hmm… I understand your point. I’m not that kind of person, though. I expect EVERYONE to **** up. All the time. I expect the very least from just about everyone on the planet. I don’t expect society to stand without strict enforcement of the law via “might makes right”.

            Would I *RATHER* have it your way?.. Yup! ๐Ÿ˜€ I’d much rather feel like everyone was pulling in the same direction and that we were all striving to do what’s right for us, what’s right for each other and what’s right for our communities and societies.

            So I see what you’re saying about “complaining about why people are surprised when men cheat”. I expect everyone that cares to be upset. The first thing I heard was that Tiger got busted on his phone by his wife. I didn’t think anything of that. That happens all the time. The next thing I heard was that there were THREE women that he got busted kickin’ it to. My first reaction was “hahaha He’s gonna be in trouble! :D”. My second reaction was “hmm.. Wonder what the extra chicks looked like? O_o”.

            I was only interested in the comparative experiences he had messing with them vs messing with his wife. I was by no means surprised that a rich, famous, current sports star was ******* women all over the planet. I ended up talking about the topic for so long because this was potentially the greatest relationship fumble in modern history.

            Guys say things to get things. “I want to marry you”. “I want you to have my kids”. That’s all well and good and I’m sure heartfelt, but fidelity doesn’t necessarily come with that package. I’m clear on that, but I see your point, which is that if I were pulling for everyone to do the best thing for society, I actually *might* have been surprised when someone blatantly disregarded the rulebook.

            However, as I said below, this type of stuff happens too often for people to be surprised anymore. It’s not that some guy now and then loses his mind and forgets his programming. He was just never on that page to begin with. I suppose for a lot of people, it’s better to believe that someone became broken than to believe that we’re all not steering the ship in the same direction.

            1. I just read Susan’s comments below (I get an email every time someone posts on this thread), and her viewpoint is that of many women — like I said, we all hope that there will be someone who will choose us & stay faithful to us out there. Life is too depressing otherwise.

              You (and other men who behave like you do — don’t see value in long-term relationships, only looking for the short-term) have this viewpoint and while it may or may not be realistic, it’s yours because you have nothing to gain from believing any differently. All you want is sex from women, maybe some companionship, so what does it matter whether people are pulling the same direction for society? You can have this fatalistic “no one cares about anyone else and they only do what’s best for themselves” because you have nothing to lose by believing that. You still get your sex this way, in fact, it’s easier to figure out how to do so by believing this way.

              Asking why women are always confused about relationships is obvious to me — they really would throw themselves off a building if every late thirties woman thought about what was most likely (that they’re going to get beaten out by a twenties woman). EVERYONE wants to believe they’re the exception and not the rule, be it the dorky kid who has never kissed a woman and dreams about a relationship with a the hot girl in his high school, or the NBA possible draft pick with a bad knee. Chances are neither of them are going to get what they want, but it doesn’t stop them from trying. For them, they have to believe there’s a possibility they’ll make it, that they’ll be that 1%. Because someone has to be that guy — people everywhere love that one in a million story for exactly that reason.

              My point is that you would be thinking the same way (hoping against the grain) if you had anything invested in doing so. Because you don’t, you are confused as to why people are missing what you find obvious. But you have a natural advantage in seeing these things because you don’t have any investment in believing something else like most men & women.

              1. I agree with you just about across the board on your comments, Sophia. ๐Ÿ™‚

                Society has nothing to do with me whatsoever. Doesn’t matter who’s President. Doesn’t matter how much oil they spill. I’m going to get the same reactions I always get from women until something changes about ME.

                You’re also right that I have nada invested in “The Dream”. I don’t think that excludes me from saying that I’m not the only one. What I’m saying is that the scenario’s tougher than you think it is, and it’s going to require either LUCK or your own personal CONCENTRATION on the situation to pull out a win.

                I’m not saying it’s impossible or that there aren’t any guys who are willing to hook up permanently and monogamously with one female. What I’m saying is that she has to be INCREDIBLY DESERVING in order to be the cream that rises to the top.

                It’s a disservice to women across the board to say “You can look like whatever you want and act like a jerk to whomever you want and you’re STILL going to come off with a devoted husband”. You may personally be involved with someone you like at this point, I’m not aware one way or the other. If you’re not.. Mentally review the past 365 days of your dating career and assess the amount of progress you’ve made towards whatever your ultimate goal is.

                I think that a lot of women that did that exercise would first become depressed, as you mentioned, but then I would expect them to WAKE UP and change their tactics and styles to something more effective for them.

                Let’s say for instance that a gal looks at her previous year and she dated a bunch of hipsters. If none of that worked out very well, maybe those aren’t the types of guys she should be dating. O_o If you don’t assess these things, you continually repeat failed behaviors and then 365 days from now, you’ll still be wondering how come dating isn’t working out for you.

                I understand that everyone needs a dream and everyone needs to feel the wonder of life. I get that, entirely, and wish for that for everyone. There’s a difference between fiddling while Rome burns and realizing that Rome is burning, yet ELECTING to fiddle…

                I was having a heated, intimate conversation with a close homegirl of mine who had just started dating this new guy. I had met him and I knew damned well that she was way better than him and the relationship wasn’t going to last. She was living the dream, however, so I was happy for her that she could feel that way.

                At some point, she said something about having kids with him and it was around 3am and I was drunk as hell and we were really blasting each other in the argument and I lost the handle and blurted out “GEEEEEET THE **** OUTTA HERE! ๐Ÿ˜€ YOU’RE NOT HAVING ANY KIDS WITH *THAT* GUY! :D”. It was just too much and I failed to contain my absolute understanding that sooner or later, she would wake up from the dream and dump him. Either way, that was going to happen before she elected to have a kid with him.

                She was so shocked when I screamed on her that I was immediately sad that I had failed to contain the truth. ๐Ÿ™ Anyway.. She dated him for a year or two and then they broke up. No kids. Big surprise.

                Did I want her NOT to be in love? Nope. Did I want her NOT to believe in her own dream? Nope. I wanted her to be happy… Really. That’s about it. The problem was that it became just too much for me to entertain her tomfoolery about having kids with this guy when I knew damned well that she was going to wake up well before that.

                That’s one of the problems with dreams that are based on uneducated opinions. It’s just pot luck whether it works out or not. There’s no actual foundation. Some people call that “love”. \o/

                1. That’s all well and good, but it’s a delicate balance. It’s like an athlete — they have to do the hard work to become world class, but if they focused on the odds that they would win the olympics, they would just give up before they even started. Sometimes I think your blog focuses too much on the poor odds (and actually magnifies them since you’re coming from a viewpoint that doesn’t value relationships, which many men don’t share). I don’t want to tell you how to run your blog, but more of the training part without yelling about how women are such idiots (as in this particular post) would be nice.

                2. It’s like: unless you have some advice for how the 35 year old can prevail over the 25 year old, why are you going to crush the 35 year old’s hope for a relationship? Nothing they do is going to work anyway (or if it is, you should have talked about that instead of what an idiot she was for thinking she could go on a date).

                3. I hear and appreciate what you’re saying.

                  Our philosophies are different because I would say that focusing on the odds that I would win the Olympics would make me work HARDER and SMARTER, not give up. That’s assuming that my goal was to win the Olympics in the first place.

                  If I’m supposed to throw the ball X units and I’m currently throwing the ball X-3 units, I’m personally going to strive every. single. day. until Olympic trials to get my game where it’s supposed to be if I want that gold medal.

                  To put that in a dating context.. If my goal was to date chicks that only date rich guys, I’d be concentrating on getting rich. If my goal was to date girls from the Dominican Republic, I’d be in the Dominican Republic (or Washington Heights).

                  Personally, if there were a type of woman that I felt that I wanted and couldn’t currently procure, I’d figure out a plan on how to do that and then attempt to carry that plan out ASAP.

                  I’d rather know what the playing field is than go in with a dream and see what happens. LIke, if I suddenly couldn’t pull any chicks *GASP!!!* and someone was like “They all read your blog, dude.. Now all the chicks are thinking “I would NEVER date BILL!!!” and I determined that that person was correct, I would have to weigh my ability to get raps vs my interest in and the pleasure I derive from self-expression and then make a decision.

                  I’d rather have the option of that decision in front of me than just WONDER what happened to my natural charm & charisma. ๐Ÿ˜€

                  As far as yelling about how women are idiots, you and BM have created / contributed to my ever-growing belief that there’s no point in doing that because women are never going to stop falling for the okey-doke.

                  I appreciate very much the feedback I’ve received from women that have learned something they didn’t know and utilized my ideas to gain vision into the blind spots of their relationships. Just yesterday, in fact, a friend of mine was telling me about a breakup and she rattled off the potential reasons why he broke up with her and I was proud of her for UNDERSTANDING what The Game is and not sitting there like some idiot just going WHY, WHY, WHY? and having no clue whatsoever about what had happened and/or what she’s going to do now that her relationship’s over.

                  But you’re basically right, IMO. There’s really no point in telling someone who’s getting rained on that it’s raining. She brought her umbrella or she didn’t. She likes getting wet or she doesn’t. No need to reinvent the wheel and teach her about irrigation.

          2. “Itโ€™s in womenโ€™s nature to do that, so society conditions women not to be whores or cheat either.” Sophia, I heard a television talk show interview where genital mutilation of women was defended, using practically the same words.

            1. Obviously I wasn’t trying to encourage genital mutilation — how did that even come up? Otherwise we’d also castrate men after they had the number of kids they were supposed to in order to prevent cheating. No one should resort to barbaric practices because something is a possibility.

              1. Sophia, I wasn’t suggesting that you were encouraging that! I was simply commenting on the fact that I had heard a recent discussion about female genital mutilation and the basis of that heinous practise was said (paraphrase) to be in order to control women so they wouldn’t screw around…act like whores, or cheat.
                I brought it up because society does in obvious and sometimes subtle ways influence women’s behavior AND expectations. Which is what we debate and discuss quite often right here on this site.
                Also, I am in the camp of having learned very valuable lessons from Bill’s posts, w/o feeling depressed or negative about the truths I’ve finally learned. I’m so happy about finally “getting” it that I’m almost evangelical about spreading the news! I do not like men less or more, I simply better understand their motivation and the game. I can look back and see just how dupe-able I was and what conviction I had that I was NOT (duped.)
                Anyway, I am always interested in your POV and didn’t want you to misunderstand my comment.

              2. I get what you’re saying, Christine.

                It’s important that we’re all vigilant over our concepts because one thing opens the door to another that we might not have considered and that might be directly in opposition to our beliefs or goals.

                You can say something like “American Jobs Should Be For Americans”, meaning to help your own people, but someone else could take that and run with it in a discriminatory direction.

                You can say something like “Women shouldn’t be whores”, meaning they should carry themselves as ladies, but someone could utilize that as a foundation to enact increasingly stringent controls over what women can and can’t do in their society.

                For my part, I say things like “Guys are only after sex”, which is true as far as making a distinction between “some chick” and a girlfriend, fiancee or wife.. but also opens the door to gold-diggers who figure they may as well get something of monetary value for giving it up.

              3. Sophie, maybe I wasn’t following the thread right, but when you say ‘Itโ€™s like: unless you have some advice for how the 35 year old can prevail over the 25 year old, why are you going to crush the 35 year oldโ€™s hope for a relationship? Nothing they do is going to work anyway (or if it is, you should have talked about that instead of what an idiot she was for thinking she could go on a date).’ I hope you were being sarcastic… I just turned 50 and have more guys of ALL ages hitting on me than ever… I flirt a lttle, which I never did when I was young… If what you are doing doesn’t work… move on and try again I guess!

                1. That’s actually a good point, Steph.. The thing about older women is that nobody expects them to be in any kind of desirable physical shape.

                  This is why when there *IS* a woman that’s still HOLDIN’ IT DOWN and REPREZENTIN’!!!, keeping herself looking good, guys are going to notice that, give her her propers and be actually MORE interested in her than a 23 year old chick that already looks sloppy and out of shape.

                  That’s one of the fundamental problems with women’s lack of understanding about what attracts men. Y’all keep thinking it’s about what you say, when nobody cares about that. You can be smart, young, dumpy and dress like a HERB and the older woman who makes it to the gym every morning, keeps her hair hooked up and dresses not only like she’s still in the game, but like she’s a BAD-ASS BITCH!!! will turn heads and get the rap over the younger chick every single time.

    2. I see your point, and numerically, it’s a decent one, as well as something that society should heed. This is what can happen when guys feel so hopeless about pulling chicks as you’re saying.

      Society does NOT condition you not to murder. Religion conditions you not to murder. Society conditions you that there will be CONSEQUENCES & REPERCUSSIONS *IF* you murder. The consequences are the deterrent, not some moral “We shouldn’t do this” stance. If you watch television, there are still to this day tons of movies where people get murdered. There are movies with JOHN WAYNE in them (to show how old they are) where people get murdered. This entire society was actually BUILT on murder if you ask the original inhabitants of this land.

      “One less person to contribute to society” assumes that that person *WAS* contributing to society in the first place. What if they weren’t doing jack ****? ๐Ÿ™‚ What if they were detracting from the community via thievery or rape? People get thrown in jail every day and aren’t given jobs in there. That’s one less person to contribute to society, AND taxpayers have to foot the bill for electricity, bread and water for that individual so they can get their 3 hots and a cot.

      Also, your statement assumes that that person was contributing to YOUR society. This isn’t one society. This is a bunch of interconnected societies under one flag. Your friends, your block, your neighborhood, your city, your state, your country.. all subdivisions. Even someone contributing to society at large isn’t necessarily helping you & yours, so that doesn’t make them exempt from murder by your “contribution to society” theory.

      Worst of all, your “cheating with a woman = one less woman” theory makes no sense at all. Look at Tiger woods. He had another 14 chicks that dimed him out, meaning he was probably hooking up with at least 28. That didn’t stop him from being husband and father until his wife caught him. Up until that day, he was handling all his simultaneous relationships with no problem for years.

      Meanwhile, the women he was messing with were not restricted to JUST messing with him. He didn’t take ANY of them off the market. They had their own free time and free will to kick it with any other guys they wanted. Just because you give a chick some doesn’t mean she’s not gonna jump up after you get off of her, shower up and go get laid with the next man.

      Yes, it’s “one less woman for a man that would otherwise be dating her” for the amount of time that she’s physically in your possession (a few hours?), but after that, she’s right back to being as available as she was before y’all’s date.

      Your monogamy chart makes sense, assuming some kind of moral monogamy. It only works under the condition that every man in that society agrees to only kick it to one chick and ignore all the rest for the benefit of the other men in the society. It breaks down and looks more like your “Current Market Conditions” chart in real life, because of dating.

      Until a guy gets married, he’s going to have as many women as are interested (which may be zero) trying to become The One. He’s not going to block out any potential wives until he feels that he’s in a relationship with a gal that could go all the way. For the chart to look like your monogamy example, a popular, desired male would have to select one female and spurn all the rest so they dissipate back into the community and attempt to hook up with other guys.

      That’s also assuming that the women of that society are willing to admit defeat when the guy she wants selects a different female. Even if she’s willing, that doesn’t mean she’d rather hook up with one of the 9 that are left instead of remaining single or spending all her time with other women who feel the same way she does. It’s very tough to realistically create that “monogamy” chart because people have personal desires that override fairness.

      I agree with your “Current Market Conditions” chart as well as your prediction of violence, as I linked above. This is why prostitution and pornography will never go out of business. In the worst-case scenario, you can buy sex. If women won’t spend time with you because of your looks and/or personality, you can spend money to get them to do it. For some guys, that’s better than nothing. For others, it isn’t.

      This is also why guys need to stop being greedy and hook their boys up with extra chicks. If you’re up in that group where you have several girls chasing you that you’re not going to kick it with, introduce them to your friends, maybe your boys can get on. Everybody wins.

      I can’t imagine how many chicks I’ve introduced dudes to. I go to parties where I know 20-60 people on the invite list, so almost the entire time is spent making sure my acquaintances meet each other. Still, I agree with your point that if the lower-rung dudes can’t get any help and aren’t into prostitution, that’s definitely going to cause mental problems that hopefully don’t become physical problems for them or anyone else.

      My last point is that cheating in relationships is obviously not a crime, hahaha ๐Ÿ˜€ You’re talking about Adultery: โ€œA person is guilty of adultery when he engages in sexual intercourse with another person at a time when he has a living spouse, or the other person has a living spouse. Adultery is a class B misdemeanor.โ€.. Notice how it hinges on the word “spouse”? That means that if you’re not married, you can do whatever you feel like doing, and it CERTAINLY isn’t anywhere near a crime.

      As far as Adultery, women don’t imagine it because to do so would negate their ability to believe that their man was The One in the first place. Part of what she’s “bought” about him is that he’s going to only have sex with her. In order to catch him cheating, she has to believe it and simultaneously tear down her own relationship that she’s worked so hard to build and maintain.

      1. “Society does NOT condition you not to murder. Religion conditions you not to murder. Society conditions you that there will be CONSEQUENCES & REPERCUSSIONS *IF* you murder.”

        Whatever, I’ve never seen you get upset over semantics before. The point is that society discourages murder, like it discourages adultery. And I’m also surprised you’re arguing over minor details about why society cares about its citizens committing murder. Isn’t it obvious? Destabilizing societal forces & if people weren’t scared of a punishment, we’d have anarchy.

        “Meanwhile, the women he was messing with were not restricted to JUST messing with [Tiger Woods]. He didnโ€™t take ANY of them off the market.”

        Right, but how many of them are going to mess with a guy on their level now? After being with Tiger Woods as a sport fuck, a lot of these women imagine that they actually had something special with him, are delusional enough to think they had a relationship with him. How many of them are going to deign to date random barber shop dude or Joe mechanic, even if they are just a porn star? This is where the problem happens — no, the women aren’t taken off the market, but it compounds the “crowding at the top” problem. There’s no way in hell they’re going to date anyone even on their level anymore. Girls never date down, and once they date up, they usually don’t go back down again. You see this a lot & I think you’ve blogged about it — a 2 girl sleeps with a 6 guy and thinks that’s what her level is, not realizing he was only using her for sex. She makes up some other reason in her mind why the “relationship” didn’t work out, and continues to go after 6 guys. With the 8, 9, and 10 girl crowd, they’re literally vying for the top 1% of NYC, no joke. I have multiple friends who have had sex with the same guy because he’s “got it like that.” It compounds the problem when guys sport fuck or get desperate at a bar because women get no sense of their real level for the relationship they want. Therefore, all the players at the top get all the sex they want (top 20%) and the bottom 80% of guys get LITERALLY ALMOST NO PLAY AT ALL. It’s a new concept in a lot of psychology circles, but it’s pretty true.

        This is why guys in that bottom percentage are getting more and more upset. They’re getting less and less play.

        “As far as Adultery, women donโ€™t imagine it because to do so would negate their ability to believe that their man was The One in the first place.”

        That seems like a good explanation. So why did you write a blog post about it asking women why they don’t expect cheating as though you didn’t have an idea? You should have just cut and pasted this paragraph.

        1. First of all, *PLEASE* Trust & Believe that I’m not upset over anything. ๐Ÿ™‚ I completely enjoy reading and discussing your ideas and I’m appreciative that you decided to put them in print for us all to learn from. I’m totally serious. I can’t properly convey this over text, but PLEASE believe I totally enjoy our communications. ๐Ÿ™‚

          The only reason I was even discussing murder is that you used it as a foundation for your concept about cheating/monogamy. I fully agree that any smart society is going to advocate that its members not kill each other. It’s just that “Don’t kill people because it’s wrong” and “Don’t kill people because we need them to be productive for our society” and “Don’t kill people because we’ll throw you in jail” are three entirely separate motivations. If it’s agreed that murder is morally wrong, you don’t have to explain to those same people that the society will be worse off if they kill someone. Anyway, let’s skip that topic.

          Agreed. Without fear of punishment, we’d have anarchy. This is why the cops have to be the biggest gang of them all, for the good of the entire society. We don’t need people to TELL people to do the right thing. We need people to bust several heads when the wrong thing is done. >:D

          Completely agreed about women not wanting to “date back down” and also the delusions of grandeur that they get (and I’m sure it happens to guys too) when a higher-level guy selects them for something. In fact, what you’re talking about should be its own blog post.

          Yes.. Even though I maintain that they’re not taken off the market, they’re definitely tainted by the experience of a higher level of interaction, whether that’s because the guy is more attractive to them or treats them better or whatever it is that he brings to the table that they don’t normally receive.

          Obviously, that happens to guys as well. I know it’s happened to me. Girls have always just liked me. Not all of them, but enough of them. Subconsciously, I know I can always get more girls, so I really don’t pay too much attention to any particular one.

          On top of that, I’ve always had excellent rapport with older women, meaning such as in their 20s when I was like 15. Throughout my ‘career’, I’ve become accustomed to much better treatment than I was supposed to receive at certain stages from much better women than I was supposed to receive those things from. As a result, I find that chicks that bring less to the table than I’m used to, visually, mentally, personality-wise or whatever.. I don’t take them seriously at all.

          So, Yeah.. I agree with you about the tainting, and I agree about the effect. There are a lot of women that hold out for more than they “should” be holding out for because they don’t know any better.

          My blog post was about people being surprised when something common occurs. I wrote that line you quoted while I was considering a female being blind to her own man’s cheating, but I see how it could be taken in a general sense.

          Speaking generally.. I’m not saying that women should EXPECT men to cheat. People are supposed to be good for their word. Regardless of what our nature actually is, the goal is to make statements you can stand by, such as “I love you” and “I’m only having sex with you”. If you know that’s not the case, don’t say it.

          What I’m saying is that there’s a difference between recognizing something and being surprised by it. Let’s say I decide to kick it to a chick that’s taller than I am. Let’s say she says she’s not interested and adds that she doesn’t date guys shorter than she is. I’m not going to be like “:O.. Did you hear THAT?” I don’t have to LIKE what just happened, but it’s common. There’s no reason for me to be surprised.

          Even if I HAD BEEN surprised the first time, and maybe the second and perhaps the third, after that, I would have noticed the pattern and gotten used to it. I would have either expected to be rejected when I stepped to a taller female or I would stop kickin’ it to them entirely and stick to gals shorter than I am.

          I wouldn’t keep selecting the electrified cheese and keep being surprised that I got shocked when I tried to eat it. ๐Ÿ˜€

          So if Spitzer hired hookers, get used to the fact that guys who are married and have children might hire hookers. If Clinton was getting blown by Lewinsky, get used to the fact that guys who are married with children might have sex with their coworkers. If the dude from South Carolina or whatever says he’s going hiking in South America, get used to the fact that he MIGHT be going to spend time with the love of his life.

          If Brad Pitt dumps Jennifer Aniston, assume he feels like he traded up by hooking up with Angelina Jolie. If Eric Benet decided to screw chicks other than Halle Berry, assume he felt like doing that. If Tiger felt like buying porno chicks and having threesomes, assume he felt like doing that.

          To me, it’s EXTREMELY COMMON sense. \o/ I’m not saying women shouldn’t feel hurt or upset when guys cheat. Y’all SHOULD. Definitely! You should ALSO stop acting like these are strange, surprising occurrences and start scrutinizing y’all’s boyfriends and husbands more closely so none of this tomfoolery happens to YOU! ๐Ÿ˜€

          1. “Letโ€™s say I decide to kick it to a chick thatโ€™s taller than I am. Letโ€™s say she says sheโ€™s not interested and adds that she doesnโ€™t date guys shorter than she is. Iโ€™m not going to be like โ€œ:O.. Did you hear THAT?โ€ I donโ€™t have to LIKE what just happened, but itโ€™s common. Thereโ€™s no reason for me to be surprised.”

            Yes, but this isn’t really an analogous situation to what females experience when they’re cheated on. The situation is more like the girl is taller than you, she says, “I usually really like taller guys but you’re special, you’re different from all those guys and I make an exception for you.” You invest in the relationship, you really start to like her, this becomes the mother of your kids. Then you come home & find her fucking a taller guy & she says, “why are you surprised? He was taller.”

            That’s the equivalent of your argument to me. The POINT is that she SAID you were different & you trusted that — it very well could have been true, it turns out it’s not and no one’s surprised, but you were trusting it was true.

            Dating for women is based on hope since what we want has to be sustained over time (relationship) vs. you guys getting what you want very quickly (sex). You can be more pragmatic immediately because yours is not a waiting game.


              wow… That was depressing! ๐Ÿ˜€ I laughed the hardest I’ve laughed in WEEKS at your punchline. Well-delivered. ๐Ÿ˜€

              I definitely see your point and I’m going to try to write about that today. I talked about it two years ago in “Truth vs. Relationships”. The most important thing you have in ANY relationship, not only romantic ones, is Trust. You can only trust Trustworthy People. Unfortunately, people aren’t good judges of that and bestow trust on anyone that professes allegiance.

              We may be getting to the nitty-gritty of why women will never “get it” or “wake up”. Waking up isn’t mentally or emotionally acceptable. What’s there to do without the dream? In fact, doesn’t everyone believe in the dream? The only way not to believe is to be mentally or spiritually broken. I see why what’s obvious common sense to me seems like far-fetched nonsense to True Believers.

              I was hanging out with a friend of mine recently and I was trying to catch up with these two chicks I know. When I told him what bar they said they were in, he goes “Isn’t that a famous lesbian bar?”. I go “I have no idea.. It probably is, because they’re probably lesbians”. He was visibly shaken and immediately bailed out of going in. In my estimation, this was because he was projecting forward to the point where he’d have to tell his wife where he was hanging out tonight and he certainly didn’t want to say “I was hanging out with Bill and these lesbians he knows and their homegirls” HAHAHAHA

              To me, that would seem to be the best place he COULD have been, according to his wife. It’s way better than having to report being at a strip club for hours, right? Scammin’ on chicks and wasting his family’s money on “whores”. But I’m starting to see now what the problem was. Everyone needs to appear to be status quo and middle-of-the-road. You don’t want people that you need to be around consistently (like a wife) throwing “In a lesbian bar, surrounded by girls he met because of The Kid” into the mix of your possible whereabouts every time you go off the grid. ๐Ÿ˜‰

              Also, Agreed about the time difference. As guys (speaking generally, of course), we only need to get y’all to come online for one day.. Less than a day, really. We only need y’all to be into us for several consecutive hours and we can get what we wanted from you.

              That doesn’t mean we’re done with you, but rather that we accomplish ours and then coast. Some guys bail = pump & dump or hit it & quit it, but other guys recognize and appreciate the good times we spent with a gal and the friendship and/or romantic relationship continues from there.

              For women (generally), y’all are looking for that extended situation that’s tough to achieve to begin with but even tougher since guys know that’s what you want and are willing to lie about their intentions to get on. I suppose y’all DO need that hope you mentioned because the pragmatic view is extremely depressing. It indicates that you have to fight your way to the top and then incessantly fend off other women trying to get what you already have. It’s much better to believe that you’ll meet someone, you’ll fall in love and that love will never falter or even waiver.

              Perhaps The Dream is necessary. Perhaps it’s actually intelligent to give girls baby dolls to play with as if that’s fun. Perhaps it’s good to brainwash them from birth to bear and take care of children and have that be their life’s desire and goal. Dunno \o/ It’s Chicken & Egg to me. Without the brainwashing, The Dream doesn’t exist.. Without The Dream, the brainwashing isn’t necessary…

            2. Sophia,
              You are very clever, and you don’t let Bill get away with anything! You are right, the analogy didn’t work and while your punch line “Why are you surprised? He was taller” is FUNNY there is another punch line, sad but true, in your post. “Dating for women is based on hope….”
              And that is what we tangle up with, I think. How to have hope and all of the lovely emotions that drive us into relationships in the first place, but also have a firm grasp on reality. So our being duped is not a punch line. Ever.

  3. Last point to your statement:

    “Also, I think youโ€™re totally right that if women were encouraged to share men, that would lead to increasing violence in American society.”

    Hookup culture is encouraging women to share men sexually. We all know guys who are banging 3 or 4 girls at once in a mini-harem and guys who aren’t getting any. You can see with the increase of pickup artist sites that spit venom at women (I’ve read some of the posts there, and a lot are very misogynistic & bitter because these guys aren’t getting laid) or the very militant set that’s up in arms about men’s rights in divorce laws that men ARE getting more and more angry at the gender imbalance & women exercising their ability to trade up, even if it means sharing a high status male as a mistress or something.

    Would you have seen anything like Tiger Woods or Sandra Bullock’s husband 40 years ago? I don’t think so. High status men didn’t have the options they do now for a lot of different reasons (no birth control, societal rules, women didn’t cheat on their husbands because they depended on them for economic support, etc)

    We are seeing the beginnings of a backlash now, and will continue to see it getting worse if the hookup culture continues to get worse.

    1. Interesting. I never heard of “Hookup Culture” until you brought it up just now. I had to google it. ๐Ÿ™‚

      What these people are describing, I know as “Regular Life”. The chick’s interested right now or she’s not, and there really isn’t anything else going on. Like, I wouldn’t set up some kind of hangout as a preamble to making out with some chick, I’d just do it. I’m feelin’ her. She’s feelin’ me. Game on.

      What I meant by “sharing men” was in the harem sense of ONLY being with that one particular dude. Hookup Culture is more like those chicks that leave the club every weekend with a different guy. Nobody’s excluded from having sex with her, they just have to wait their turn. They just have to be the first one to kick it to her that night or be there when she gets drunk enough to want to get busy.

      Those chicks are known as “Community Property” or “The Group Slide”, etc.

      I think Hookup Culture is REALLY bad for women, except they don’t have much of a choice at this point.. It’s either that or nothing in a lot of cases. I had a conversation with a chick in her late 30s that had finally scored a “date” with this guy she wanted to go out with. I asked her what they did and she was like they TALKED about this and that. I was like “WHAT???” and informed her that she’s gonna get beaten out every single time by 20-something chicks that are going to drag him in the bathroom and make out with him on THEIR “date”. All that yadda yadda see you next week, maybe have sex with you next month stuff is OVER! ๐Ÿ˜€

      Having said that, if that’s really how you FEEL about relationships, hold the line and good luck to you that something pans out.

      As far as the 3 and 4 girls thing, unfortunately there are a lot of WACK dudes when it comes to making a woman feel like a woman. Even if they get their first shot at a chick, that doesn’t mean she’s gonna come back for more when she knows she can have a better experience with some other dude that’s willing to do it. As you mention, there are lots of guys that don’t even get that initial chance.

      Of course guys are angry over the dating scene in the USA. It’s pretty tough to get laid in this country unless you’ve just “got it like that”. You have to become cynical to become effective and get over the hurdles and jump through the hoops. I’m sure there’s a lot more grudge-******* that goes on than women think, on the “It’s about time you gave it up after all this work you made me put in” tip.

      Dating is Confrontational. It’s often not what it’s supposed to be, which is people that like each other and want to spend time together and do things with each other agreeing to do that. It’s jockeying for position and blackmail and agreements and broken agreements.. It’s very messy and people end up with a lot of baggage and resentment towards “the other team”, yet it’s the only game in town.

      I agree that the society is degenerating. I don’t think there’s much that can be done about it because nobody’s going back to traditional dating. It doesn’t make any sense to take a chick out four weeks in a row and hope to get a goodnight kiss at the door or be invited in for a nightcap when you can just go to a bar, meet a chick that’s into you and have a good time right on the spot.

      Really, what’s going to get worse is the proliferation of STDs before we start seeing guys acting upon pent-up aggression because they’re having trouble getting on. That’s probably the worst thing about Hookup Culture for women.. Not that y’all get your feelings hurt, but rather that a lot of youse don’t insist on protection, and that’s really not the game you want to be involved in.

      1. jesus h christ is it this bad? Do you have any clue what a nightmare this is for women? If I truly thought this was true and there was no hope I would just end it immediately. If no one has love or even feelings and the men are simply animals there would be no point.

        Fortunately you are wrong, as usual, because I know many men are good and actually human.

        1. It’s not as bad as I’m saying in that comment, Susan, but the point is that it COULD BE. O_o

          My point is that women do themselves a disservice by only looking at the positive potential of situations and ignoring the negative. It’s like taking part in a football game against an opposing team without watching the tapes of their previous games to figure out who their best players are and what plays they like to use in certain situations.

          Without considering the possibility that the only reason a guy’s talking to you is that he wants to have sex with you, you’re not entering the scenario with the requisite amount of information to make an educated decision.

          I tried to make this point a while back, using rain… If the actual reality is that there’s a percentage chance that it’s going to rain where you live and a percentage chance that it isn’t, yet you don’t actually BELIEVE IN RAIN, you’re never going to carry an umbrella. The example I would give for myself is that I’ve never heard of or experienced ROCKS falling from the sky, so I never go outside with a protective shield, just in case.

          To Me.. This is the same thing as women entering the dating scene oblivious to what other women are bringing to the table AND oblivious to how men select women. You’re walking into a hailstorm and you expect it to be sunny. You want a guy to select you as a girfriend because of your personality without recognizing that he wouldn’t even have approached you if he didn’t think you were cute or had a nice ass.

          Having said that.. There are LOTS OF GUYS that are trying to do the right thing by a gal or are looking for one girlfriend, wife, whatever. The problem for women is that if they don’t know what they have to do to get & retain that man’s attention, they’re gonna lose out every time. Look at your boy that was married to Sandra Bullock of all people, and it turns out he’s been screwing some ultra-tattooed skank for the last full year behind Sandra’s back. \o/

          Without understanding all of the possibilities, NOT just the positive ones when it comes to relationships, you can’t make an educated decision on whether the guy you like is right for you. Especially here in New York City, guys can meet new girls every single week. You don’t only have to defend against the women he already knows or already messed with, but you have to defend against future competition as well. If you don’t recognize that the dating scene in NYC is a tough row to hoe, you’re very likely going to have a very poor and very confusing experience with it.

    2. Wow – I dunno how I missed all this!
      One question, Sophia “High status men didnโ€™t have the options they do now” – what’s this all about? Prior to effective contraception high status men have usually had the wherewithal or leverage to keep out of wedlock stuff hush-hush. Young women getting sent off to “boarding schools” out of state to return later with a child. Or even out in the open – think concubines. Who else could AFFORD to to do all that? And then the worst of all cases, Back Alley Abortions where some chick’s gotta handle it herself because if she speaks up and outs the father she’ll be ruining herself socially or setting herself against a very powerful person who quit it and will keep it quit for good. I argue that the rate of infidelity has remained unchanged and it’s just much more out in the open then it was 40 years ago. Which would be… the 60’s.

      1. Wrong. The societal pressures (ahem, sorry but your math isn’t great) 50 years ago in the 60s were still extremely strong. “Bastard” children were still very shameful, both for the mother and for the child. My mother and father both went to school with children who were mercilessly tormented for not having a father. Rich or not, the baby has to go somewhere and the social stigma was enough to keep most women from being in that situation.

        Also, let’s not get all dramatic now, Steve. Really? Concubines? Where are you referencing? NO WHERE in the US can you honestly tell me there were concubines out in the open.

        You can look at any statistics for out of wedlock births in the past 30 or 40 years and it’s obviously increasing. That says something, especially since we now have birth control. With world travel so readily available and people able to mess much more easily with random people (and have no one find out about it), it’s obvious there’s more opportunity now than there was before.

        1. Susanh, yeah I was thinking back a bit further when I referenced concubines but they still had birth control 40 years ago anyhow. High status men have ALWAYS had the option. If you want look back in time to find a dude with multiple women, look for one with authority or otherwise has some kind of notability or notoriety. Women eat that up. Even when they know the guy’s married. Not all women but some persistent percentage. It still trips me out that popes used to have multiple wives and mistresses on public record. Martin Luther certainly had his work cut out for him… but I digress. Back in the 60’s being a celebrity was a little different they had JFK and MLK Jr. Yes, look no further than politics and don’t get me started on religion. Both are not as good as being a traveling salesman where an average guy could ghost from town to town under the radar and skate away scot free at the site of pregnancy. Fortunately we live in an era o accurate paternity testing and stringent dead beat dad laws. But we also live in an unprecedented era of cheap travel for the masses… combined with, “wow, that dude is just so exotic”! Taking your anecdote as fact an increase in out-of-wedlock births is unsurprising. There’s also an increase in couples not getting officially married and having children. The woman is more economically independent and doesn’t NEED to get married in order to achieve The Goal. That’s also out of wedlock. so what all “the stats” say is unclear and if the kids are being properly cared for and the dude’s in the picture with or without coercion, who cares?

          1. “High status men have ALWAYS had the option. If you want look back in time to find a dude with multiple women, look for one with authority or otherwise has some kind of notability or notoriety. Women eat that up. Even when they know the guyโ€™s married. Not all women but some persistent percentage.”

            Obviously, SOME men were able to get away with it. You referenced Martin Luther King & JFK, pretty much the most famous men in American history. I think they probably were able to do things a lot of other men could never even dream about. They were the Tiger Woods of the 60s.

            “Both are not as good as being a traveling salesman where an average guy could ghost from town to town under the radar and skate away scot free at the site of pregnancy…But we also live in an unprecedented era of cheap travel for the massesโ€ฆ combined with, โ€œwow, that dude is just so exoticโ€!”
            That is my point right there: that it’s much easier to do today than it was before. So why are you continuing to argue? You just proved my point.

            1. Men have always gotten away with sleeping with who they want to sleep with, because they are the power holders in our society. I’m sure all the statistical data is there from the 1920’s until now, about cheating and single parent households and such but, who cares really? Bill is right. Men cheat because they want to. Men love when they want to. Women accept what the man feels and conforms. When we start shutting down their attempts to put us where they want us in THEIR lives, you will see a positive outlook for relationships.
              The women that Tiger Woods got down with knew he was married. The messed with him anyway. Imagine if all the women that men cheat with said “No, not interested go home to your wife/girlfriend.” Would we be having this discussion?
              Why the hell do I have to figure out why the guy I’m seeing, decided to violate my trust? He did. The relationship is over. Period.
              I think Bill is saying that statistics show that most people don’t keep the promise of fidelity. So be smart with your choice and understand the work that goes into maintaining a monogamous relationship. That is what makes it great when it works. BOTH parties truly want it.

              1. Thanks for the comments, Edith. ๐Ÿ™‚

                I agree with you that The Point is The Situation. It doesn’t matter how or why something is the way it is. The question is whether you like the way things are and whether there’s anything you can do about it or not.

                You see it on this week’s Jersey Shore. Sammi gets a letter saying that Ronnie wasn’t following her rules. She confronts him and he admits to not following her rules. She says the relationship is over, but keeps coming back to him to talk about the relationship, so, clearly, it’s not over.

                Sammi wants to believe that she’s the type of person that will dump a guy for not following the rules. She isn’t. She’s going to remain attached to whatever guy she’s feelin’ at the time. Until she’s not feelin’ Ronnie anymore, she’s going to remain on the dilznick.

                The fact that the women Tiger was hooking up with knew damned well that he was married illustrates how little leverage women have when it comes to holding out on sex with a guy. If she’s not doing it, the next gal is. Even if she *IS* doing everything right in the bedroom, that doesn’t mean her man still isn’t gettin’ his on the side.

                I’ll tell you right now that if they held a worldwide women’s meeting and all females agreed not to hook up with “taken” guys, you’d see an immediate change in behavior. Same thing if all women in relationships suddenly could be taken at their word that they would leave or whatever if their man cheated on them. Too many guys know that gals are full of it when they say that and that they can do whatever they want and talk their way out of it, or in Sammi’s case, the gal will talk HERSELF out of it FOR YOU! ๐Ÿ˜€

                Also.. Excellent point that I never thought of… *WHY* should women have to figure out why they were betrayed? The point is the betrayal.

                In football, you could debate WHY the guy carrying the ball stepped out of bounds ’till the cows come home and the only important point of the conversation is whether he actually stepped out of bounds or he didn’t.

                If he stepped out of bounds, there are consequences & repercussions. If someone broke your word to them, they’re untrustworthy. It’s all very simple. It’s becoming clear to me that too many women would rather live the fantasy than face reality.

                1. “Itโ€™s becoming clear to me that too many women would rather live the fantasy than face reality.”- is that cynicism or pragmatism?

                2. Recognition of a usefully-exploitable programming flaw.

                  Instead of “They would act differently if they knew the truth”, it’s more like “They would cling harder to fantasies if they were confronted with the truth”.

                  The “Sophia”/BM era of this blog has made me aware of this and the evidence I’ve been seeing only serves to support their theories.

            1. My bad on the name, Sophia! There were so MANY posts to catch up on this morning! LOL
              Yes, MLK jr. and JFK are probably the most famous political figures in *recent* history. I could’ve also said Thomas Jefferson, FDR, or any politician at random. Maybe Taft was a dirty bird? Fat bastard or not I wouldn’t have put it past him. My point is they’re the tip of the iceburg, the ones we know about. Nowadays the info’s just not as easily contained so the scale may appear out of proportion to our past understanding. All the same I think the ratio of popular figures cheating is probably unchanged. They’re a different breed. Women walk right up like fish jumping in a boat.

              Yes, my thoughts evolved as I wrote but you missed my point that there are a multitude of reasons why out-of-wedlock births (OOWB) has risen and they’re not all bad and like I said before, “if the kids are being properly cared for… who cares?”

              Also, that the opportunity for a man to have multiple women may have risen and although he should know in this era he’s not going to get away scot free on the kid front chicks getting knocked up still happens. Stigma against the man or woman or whatever in any decade is NOT a factor. That just determines how quiet they keep it. People do what they do.

              1. Whatever. We’re not going to agree further, so I don’t see the point of arguing more since your argument rests on no data or proof & on people who “kept it quiet” or whatever. You have your opinion & I have mine, let’s just leave it at that.

                1. Agreed but I’m not trying to maintain any opinion, I’m trying to get to the truth through this discussion but apparently were never going to have enough hard information in regards the who-what-when-why behind OOWB and as such can be used for or against any number of things.

        2. Louisiana. Concubines. Early 20th c. Mardi Gras photos depict men with wives in photos, and later in the evening the same men with their “concubines,” most often quadroon or octaroon beauties with whom they had long term relationships. It was an accepted practise.

          1. I didn’t know about that at all, actually. Sounds like a good example of concubines. Beyond the “ick” feeling I get from that — black people at that time were not really much better off than slaves. I’m sure those women were treated much more like property that the man had a “right” to enjoy, much like he had a right to smoke his pipe or whatever. That was a much different period where men could take advantage of women because of the social construct at the time. It still doesn’t add to Steve’s point that the instances of adultery now are the same as they were in the past.

            Making that argument using your example of concubines (who were still basically considered slaves / inferior people) would be like saying black men don’t work as hard as they used to — look how hard they worked under slavery.

    1. Agreed. The ‘problem’ is that “some” is different from “many” or “lots”. ๐Ÿ˜€

      This is why Quality/Quantity has to be the order of the day. If you kick it with or date just ANYBODY, you end up with a bunch of people surrounding you that aren’t “feeding your soul” as it were.

      Trust Me.. An hour or two spent with the right person is more valuable than DAYS spent with the wrong ones.

  4. Wow, i stumbled upon this blog by accident while googling and let’s just say, that i’m happy i did. Bill you are too funny and write very interesting stuff. And i love Sophia btw. She’s awesome and smart and always have some really great points.

  5. Hey Bill,
    That advice reminds me of what adults say to other adults about children who are “acting out.” Come to think of it, the similarities don’t end there.

    1. Ultimately, that’s how simple it is. If you focus on ends and not means, that’s her ultimate takeaway.. attention.. recognition.

      I think it’s largely the feeling that she’s special because someone else has decided she’s special that’s the draw behind all this “WAAAAAAH.. He had sex with some other chick and then came home and put food on the table and a roof over my and my kids’ heads and spends every holiday with me and always sleeps in my bed” mentality.

      If she’s special, she can control his life. She can tell him what to do. He doesn’t want to do anything other than what she tells him or he doesn’t DARE do anything other than what she tells him because he knows the consequences.. The only ***** on this planet that matters will be withheld from him.. Because she’s special.. Because HE follows her rules.. Because HE knows she’s special…..

      However.. If he gets caught ‘cheating’, he must not think she’s so special, right?.. Even though he’s married to her for 30 years and has had a girlfriend she doesn’t know about for the last 5 years and she never knew the difference.

      Wait.. I know!… He DOES think she’s special, but he was too weak to resist the temptation of a non-special female with a hawt body and a desire to hook up with him after she finishes her waitress shift.

      That’s it!.. Put him in rehab and get his mind right so he can repent and see the light, which is that SHE’S special and no other woman on the planet is.. Because she’s special.. Because HE says so…..

  6. Women are all different. Each woman wants something different, depending on their personality. Some want monogamy, some want sexual promiscuity. Some want to be tied down, some want to be made love to gently while their man looks deeply into their eyes and brushes their hair away from their face.
    Some women like the game of pursuing the most successful man. It turns them on that their man can take them to the best restaurant or wears stupid muddy boots and gets the eight point deer.
    Some women don’t care about the sex, they want a man with a pretty watch and nice Italian leather shoes.
    Some women want the man who is popular who will give them prestige when they are his wife. They’ll have babies who go to the right schools and they will do all of the proper things.
    But I can sum up what women want in one tiny sentence. Women want orgasms that send them through the roof, and security.

    1. I agree with you entirely about orgasms & security, Julie. ๐Ÿ˜€

      If women were more realistic about that, there would be a lot less frontin’ and posturing about what y’all were and weren’t going to do if a guy ‘cheated’ on y’all.

      As we’re seeing on this week’s “Jersey Shore”, Sammi found out that Ronnie’s been doing whatever he wants. She swore up and down that if he didn’t follow her rules, their relationship was over.

      The obvious problem is that the more she thinks about their relationship being over, the more miserable she gets. She’s hurting HERSELF by ending the relationship, which she didn’t realize when she made all those rules that nobody has to follow.

      Since she didn’t realize that Ronnie can get his from any chick he thinks is hawt and she can only get turned on by being with Ronnie, every time she claims she’s done, she’s never done, just like a drug addict.

      She thinks she’s running the show because society tells you that females have the power in relationships and because Ronnie’s willing to “‘Yes’ her to death” because he knows that she’s too stupid to catch him doing his thing and he can talk his way out of anything she catches him in anyway.

      Every time Ronnie says “I love you”, Sammi’s so-called resolve breaks a little more. She thought she could fake the end of the relationship and get Ronnie to proclaim his love for her and get in line and never hook up with another chick ever again. Meanwhile, even though she knows now that he’s been hooking up with chicks then coming home, having sex with her and sleeping in her bed, that’s not enough for her to say she’s done being treated like that.

      If she would just face reality, which is that she’s with Ronnie for orgasms & security, she could stop trying to play the role of Ronnie’s Owner and be who she really is.. Ronnie’s Pet.

  7. “…the more she thinks about their relationship being over, the more miserable she gets. Sheโ€™s hurting HERSELF by ending the relationship, which she didnโ€™t realize when she made all those rules that nobody has to follow.” BC quote. I second THAT! It is the answer. Who’s brave enough to follow that advice? The line starts here.

  8. Bill you sir are simply awesome! I’ve been going over your site for the past several days, and while i don’t always see eye to eye with your methods, i love your honesty. There’s also always been truth in what your saying and I’ve always been able to extrapolate a great deal of information from what you posts contain and see how it corresponds to my own experiences. I dont feel like your shifty or underhanded in how you go about relationships simply because you openly state how you do.

    Anyways on to a post more relevant to this topic, while I’m not condoning men cheating etc, just cause its not right doesn’t mean women should be ignorant to it, its blatantly obvious and not just to the people with a different view point. Its not something that should upset women to know this its just knowledge as to potential pitfalls and how to avoid them i don’t think this is at all depressing, simply because its giving you tools to defeat any potential pitfalls pertaining to this topic. Its not (JUST) some drab and depressing thing saying its unlikely your going to get a guy to be with you and only you, it also informs you of things you should avoid and can be a good reference to figure out a play strategy to work against getting “played” its reminding women to not think a guys broken but that its there nature and to work with it from there so they actually stand a chance. Thank you for all your efforts ~ Robert

    PS: If you find the time i could really use your advice and refreshing perspective with some issues im currently dealing with.

    1. Hey Robert. Thanks for the props. ๐Ÿ™‚

      I’m neither shifty nor underhanded because I don’t need to be. I can afford to call things the way I see them because nobody can stop the bum rush.. Meaning that I know more women than probably 99% of the guys I know and I meet new women every single week.

      I *GAIN* female fans instead of losing them, for the very reasons you state. Whether they like what I’m saying or not, sooner or later, something happens to them and then they go “HOT DAMN!!! :/ THAT’s *EXACTLY* WHAT BILL WAS TALKING ABOUT!!! :(” haha I’m just letting people know how some guys think. It comes in handy for people now and then.

      I think you’ve also bottled the essence. Once women can see properly, they’ll be able to create a proper playbook. If all they understand about males is that we buy them flowers and candy and admit that they’re right and we’re wrong in order to get laid, they’re going to get blindsided by even the most juvenile tactics, like “Was your nose always crooked like that? o_O”.

      I’m trying to figure out a good Q&A solution that I like. I definitely need one for my blog. Until then, hit me on Facebook.

      Cheers! ๐Ÿ˜€

  9. You should be required reading for 17 year old girls, BC.

    Women act the ways they do because they can. “I went to his bedroom, he was unhooking my bra, I struggled, (then I gave in ‘cuz I was stoned, but this comment will never see the light of day because….) he raped me!! Silly girl hands a b.j. out to a fat football hero in a cheesy bathroom…it was date rape!

    I was hanging with friends, 20 something hot young women. They were incensed that Eva Longoria didn’t figure her NBA player would cheat. “C’mon, they tell me, a girl who marries “PRO” should just figure he’s gonna cheat” She should get a diamond or a car when he does”. One of these girls is dating a 20 something race car driver. I asked, “What do race car drivers and other professional athletes have in common? Specifically…..”. She looked at me as if I had spoken Italian. I repeated, “Specifically, what do PRO race car drivers and PRO athletes have in common?”

    Awww, I was buzzkill. How awful that I would even insinuate HE would EVER cheat on her. “He’s not LIKE that”, was her reply.

    Wash, rinse, repeat. But I do wonder if I am stealing dreams when proclaiming your wise wisdom, BC.

    Women do get pregnant, most do want to raise a family, and it helps to have a stable man. Maybe…even if it’s only fantasy.
    If women didn’t believe in the fantasy, maybe they would stop having children, society would be chaos. Perhaps it is Mother Nature, after all?

    1. hahaha Thanks for the props, Kay! ๐Ÿ˜€ hahaha

      The date rape thing is a major can of worms that I don’t even want to talk about! ๐Ÿ˜€ haha It’s one of those things that you have to charge to the game, along with unwanted/unexpected pregnancies on the female side of things.

      Any chick at any time can claim you did something to her that she didn’t want done to her and so long as there isn’t videotape of your interaction, it’s your word vs. hers and good luck to you!

      And then, if she was drunk off her ass, so she can’t honestly report whether she told you “Come Get This! >:D” or “No. I’m not interested”, that’s circumvented by saying that if she was that drunk, she couldn’t have given consent. Yes, she could have, and she could have FORGOTTEN, or chosen not to remember or decided to say it went a way it honestly didn’t go.

      C’est La Vie! \o/ Good luck to you at trial, dude! :/

      As far as rich, famous men “cheating”, it’s really the other way around. The “wife” is actually the best girlfriend. She’s at the top of the totem pole, but there’s DEFINITELY a totem pole. The only reason there wouldn’t be is if the guy, in his heart-of-hearts, honestly didn’t WANT to have other girls and honestly DID want to have just one woman and he already has the one he wants.

      Other than that, money talks. Ask Charlie Sheen.

      I agree with you that there’s no reason why NASCAR or MotoGP racers shouldn’t be getting laid left and right as well, regardless of whether they’ve selected a girlfriend or wife or whatever. Fame + Money = Groupies. Period. If they’re not there automatically, somebody will go get them for you, quiet it’s kept.

      You’re definitely stealing dreams. Unfortunately, just because they don’t believe in something doesn’t make it any less real. Politicians, Priests, Athletes, Everybody gets caught up in sex scandals.

      Eva Longoria? She’s foyine, but she’s still only one chick. If you can get Eva Longoria, you should be able to get ANY “lesser” chicks, right? ๐Ÿ˜€ You should have MORE confidence in your game instead of less. Look at the other dude that screwed that tattoo chick behind Sandra Bullock’s back. “Conventional Wisdom” says that you would NEVER jeopardize your relationship with a rich, famous, attractive movie starlet……

      Having a stable man isn’t a fantasy.. It’s the truth for a lot of families. So is having women that don’t stray. However, the cheating statistics have been and probably always will be near 50%. If it doesn’t happen to you, it’s going to happen to the gal next to you. If it doesn’t happen to the two of y’all, it’s going to happen to the two chicks next to y’all. I’m sure NONE OF THEM thought they were going to get cheated on, but that’s exactly what happened.

      Stability isn’t guaranteed. It’s only a percentage. The question is whether to steal the dream and make that clear so women can open their eyes or whether to let them keep sleeping.

  10. Didn’t mean to shift the conversation above. Forgot to add the paragraph that says women can be nasty users, with an agenda. They can manipulate, cheat, and lie probably better than most men.

    Married Man hits on me. Tells me sex is non-existent in his lovely home. He’s staying for the children. When I ask, “Who is your lovely wife chatting up, while you’re here with me?”

    How can I even think that?! She doesn’t cheat! She LOVES his sorry cheatin’ ass ways! No way she is in miserable hell too! I’m sure 10 years of married sex keep her humming.

    Can these MEN be that selectively stupid?

    It goes both ways. : )

    1. Women are DEFINITELY better liars than men =>

      Just a couple of weeks ago, this chick told me she hooked up with this guy who was GOING TO leave his wife. :/ Jeez! haha in the year 2010 AD, chicks are still falling for “We’re divorced, but haven’t moved out yet” and all the other permutations of the lie that needs to be told to get women to lay down.

      As far as that dude you mentioned, haha I’m sure he was LIVID at the idea that his wife would be getting hers behind his back. ๐Ÿ˜€ That’s good for him! ๐Ÿ˜€

      While there are definitely a lot of stupid guys, I’d chalk a situation like this up to believing he already put her in Deep Check and if she wasn’t getting it from him, she wasn’t getting it from anybody… except maybe BOB.

      Battery-Operated Boyfriend

      You’re bringing up some interesting points. I’m starting to wonder why guys think it’s so easy (and in many cases, it IS) to lock a chick down and then do whatever they want, sexually, while she just stays at home, raises the kids and never gets her boat floated.

      Maybe it’s because guys think we’re the only ones capable of having a highly-active sex drive. I can see that as being the case, since guys have to get chicks in the mood, etc. I can see them thinking “Well.. If *I* don’t turn her on, she’s not going to start feeling turned on by herself, so I don’t have to worry about her stepping out behind my back.” \o/

    2. Hey Kay,
      It is such a small world. That exact same guy just hit on me with the SAME STORY. Must be him, no way it could be so COMMON!! BTW I’m in New Orleans and you and Bill need to find me in the French Quarter!! xoxo

      1. lol, That’s because that story is SOP (Standard Operating Procedure).

        Women are programmed to want exclusive sexual access to guys AND not to think of themselves as “homewreckers”, so guys help y’all give it up by saying their current sex lives are trash.

        His wife could easily be givin’ it up smooth every single night, and he just feels like hooking up with a different chick, so a couple of well-placed lies act as a form of social lubricant…

  11. I’m sorry, but isnt’t at all possible that guys actually do want monogymous relationships? Like one day, when they can no longer get laid every week by different women? I’m just saying, having one person is easy. U don’t have to try to hook up with them, you go home and say you’re horny. Don’t get me wrong, i love polygomy. I’m 19 and am in no way ready for exclusivity, but one day i would want to fall in love, and if i’m in love with someone, why would i want to cheat on them? It’s wrong and hurtful. SO if a guy cheats, does that mean he really just didn’t want to be monogymous, but did want to be with that girl long term, or that he just didn’t love her at all?

    1. Hey Heather. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for the comment.

      You’re absolutely right about that. Some guys want monogamous relationships fresh out the box. Other guys get tired of the games and decide they want to ‘settle down’.

      The point I was trying to make was that *IF* a dude cheats, it’s not because of some supernatural occurrence.. It’s becasue he. felt. like. it. and he hooked up with some other chick. There’s nothing more scientific about the situation.

      As far as your very last question.. It really depends on the particular individuals involved, but there are several possibilities, including the ones you brought up. He might have had no intention of being monogamous, but for him, sex and love aren’t connected, at all. To him, he might be able to hook up with other chicks while he simultaneously loves and wants to stay with his current girlfriend/fiancee/wife/whatever.

      The thing is that some people.. Well.. A Lot of people add “fidelity” or “faithfulness” into the definition of love. When you think that way, if someone “cheats” on you, you automatically believe they don’t love you, which is the problem with that way of thinking.

      Look at your boy, Arnold Schwarzenegger. He had four kids with his wife during their 20 year marriage….. except he *ALSO* had one kid with their housekeeper…. WHOOPSIE! ๐Ÿ˜€

      People will try to say in hindsight that he was faking being in love with his wife. In fact, the case could easily be made that he loved his wife all along and he loves her now, except he felt like screwing at least one other chick on the side.

      It all depends on what YOU actually believe about love, sex & monogamy. If you follow what the masses say, that might not be the right answer for YOU in particular.

      In the best case scenario, when both people commit to a relationship, they *BOTH* want to give each other the relationship they were looking for. If you tell him that one of your requirements for a relationship is monogamy, he should WANT to give you that and want to uphold his end of the bargain and keep his word to you to not hook up with other women.

      I think that ultimately, it comes down to HONESTLY getting to know someone BEFORE entering a so-called “relatonship” with them. Too many people jump in first and figure out who they’re in a relationship with after the fact. That’s really bad policy and one of the reasons why so many relationships fail.

      Take the time to get to know a guy to the point where you BELIEVE y’all are on the same page, and you’ll most likely be alright. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Good Luck, Heather! ๐Ÿ˜€

  12. So, did you already write a post about what a woman should ‘have’ in order to keep a man’s attention, or when are you going to? Some positive advice after the negative truth is always helpful! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Btw, I wish I always had a pocket version of someone like you to take with me everywhere I go, to make sure I get the damn facts. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Well, actually I already sort of have, in the form of my (18 years older.. God that sounds a lot when you think about it :D) male best friend.
    I used to be his ‘little girl’, but now I’m growing up and he ain’t blind. The advantage is that I know who I’m dealing with here.

    Back when I was too young for him he promised that he’d always be honest with me about how guys work (and in that aspect he sounds exactly like you, which is great!), he protected me from the jerks and made sure I don’t get my feelings hurt. He followed up on that promise for sure, and still does to this day, despite me hurting him multiple times. If that’s not a genuine and much more realistic expression of love than all that romantic ‘I’ll-be-forever-faithful-to-you’ stuff, I don’t know what is.

    However, our views on cheating differ. He believes that the ‘right woman’ should be both a guy’s best friend (hence his interest in me) and more satisfying than average in bed. When she is those things, he’ll do his best to remain faithful to her. Personally, I believe that those things are what makes you love someone, but that nothing could keep a male or female faithful except for that nagging pain in the ass called conscience. >.>; And let’s face it, who even needs that nowadays when there is just *sooo* much opportunity?

    I suggested polygamy, cause if we really feel like we’re each other’s best option and closest companions, then IMHO sex on the side isn’t exactly going to be a threat. (Or am I being stupid here for tolerating sex outside a relationship at all? Does the relationship then really have any point?)

    Alas, he says he doesn’t want to share his women. Yet it would be just my luck to still get the short end of the stick in the end! Though I’m probably just being cynical this one time.:P

    1. This is a very interesting topic, Jessica. I’ll try to write about it soon. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Generally, the problem is that monogamy isn’t natural. It doesn’t make any sense.

      It’s a mental construct that people made up in order to attempt to control other people.

      So, if a dude has to “do his best to remain faithful”, he doesn’t naturally FEEL LIKE being monogamous, so that’s the wrong guy to try to have a monogamous relationship with.

      People like that need to leave things at FWB and get whatever sex they can get in that format.

      Sex with someone else shouldn’t be a threat, unless the other person’s better at it than you are.

      Guys never want to share women.. Unless they’re pimps. It’s an ego thing.

      Guys like to feel like there’s some special reason a chick’s spreading her legs for him and not all the other guys on this planet.

      Doesn’t have anything to do with you, it’s about male competition for resources.

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