As horrible as Oxygen Channel’s “Bad Girls Club” was, I still watched it because it was a T&A-fest.
Now, they’ve spun the series off into this lame Flavor-Flav ripoff called “Love Games”, where they have three chicks that ~20 guys are trying to hook up with. As retarded as that premise is, it’s STILL not as useless as putting eight chicks in a house so they can drink alcohol, get undressed most of the time, bitch at each other and then go clubbing together and rub up on each other as if they’re supposed to be lesbians with no storyline and no criteria for ejection from the show. I swear I don’t know how these shows get funded. :/
Nice Shoes.. Wanna ****?
So anyway… I’m fast-forwarding through my DVR copy of “Love Games” and I notice what appears to be a beef, so I back up and play it at regular speed. The chicks and several of the guys are in the hot tub having a conversation and one of the guys says something directly to one of the chicks’ faces to the effect of “All the guys in the house think you have nice tits”.
Of course, the needle scratches on the record and it’s like “GASP! :O”. This is what he gets for telling the truth. This is what he gets for speaking his mind, or in this case, the COLLECTIVE mind. He wasn’t saying that HE was the only one that held that opinion. He put it on all the guys in the house. Because he SAID to her face what everybody else HAD ALREADY SAID BEHIND HER BACK, he was penalized.
So then, when the chicks are trying to decide who to vote off the show, they’re actually there commiserating about “Can you believe he talked about my body??? :O” .. You know, I’m wondering at what level women finally get real. Do you have to be a stripper before you’re willing to understand that guys LIKE, CHECK OUT, TALK ABOUT and WANT your bodies? Is that what it takes? haha I mean, seriously…
How are you gonna be a chick that was only selected to be on a television show because she looks good and guys want to **** you and then you’re going to complain about some guy mentioning that he likes your body? Do you have to be an actual hooker who gets paid for sex before you’re willing to consider and potentially accept the truth?
The funny part is that they weren’t acting. They were actually appalled that this dude said what he said. Meanwhile, that’s the *ONLY* topic of conversation amongst the guys.. Which one of y’all is hotter and which one they’d like to bang FIRST.
I mean, what do you think you were doing on “Bad Girls Club” in the first place? There were NO. MENTAL. CHALLENGES in that show, whatsoever. You were selected because a) you looked good and b) they thought you were mentally disturbed and self-centered enough to cause beef which they could get ratings from. You’re lower even than “Jersey Shore”, because even THEY had to get JOBS and when that chick Angelina refused to work, her ass got kicked off the show.
The only thing that got chicks kicked off of BGC was if they started punching some other chick in the face. No challenges. No eliminations. Your job is to get undressed, drink alcohol, rub up on other girls and talk yang to each other and then you’re SURPRISED and UPSET that dudes are like “She has nice tits”? :/
Lie And Be Happy
The lesson here, gentlemen, is to lie your asses off. Lie, Lie, Lie. You like her ass? Keep it to yourself. Talk about her eyes instead. Chicks fall for that one like hotcakes. You feel like screwing her? Keep it to yourself. Tell her you want to hang out with her and read books or something retarded like that. Chicks like to believe this, so it’s an easy way to sneak your way to the nitty-gritty.
Whatever you do, DON’T bother telling her the truth. Throughout Time Immemorial, guys have been penalized for verbalizing what’s actually going on and destroying women’s ridiculous fantasies about the reason you’re attracted to her. I know you’ll feel dumb saying it, but trust me that it pays off in the long run. The more you mention her body, the more she wants you to focus on her mind or her personality or something else you weren’t paying any attention to. The more you talk about her mind and personality (and whatever else you weren’t paying any attention to) the more she goes “He’s not paying enough attention to my body!!!” and then you’re in there like Belvedere.
I think we also see this female mental process in statements like “I wasn’t wearing a miniskirt.. I was wearing sweats and a hoodie.. How come he tried to get my number?” and “I didn’t tell him I was interested in sex… How come he tried to get my number?”. I’ve come to the conclusion that women are absolutely clueless that the process works without their mental input. Nobody cares whether YOU’RE interested in sex or not. We care if WE’RE interested in hooking up with you or not. Here’s how it works:
We like you, you like us = Stimulation
We like you, you don’t like us = Stimulation
We don’t like you, you don’t like us = No Stimulation
We don’t like you, you like us = Meh… Maybe I’ll take it if I have nothing better to do 😉
Get it? Maybe we need some more equations:
Chick with a nice ass in sweats > chick with no ass in a miniskirt
Chick with a hot body in timberlands and a hoodie > chick with no body dressed “like a hooker”
Dumb chick that looks good > Smart chick that looks bad
and finally.. Chick with nice tits > Chick with not nice tits, which is what got dude on the reality show in trouble.
Hello, Crispus Attucks
Dude figured, either because he was drunk or unfathomably unintelligent, “These hoes know that they’re hoes, so they understand that we’re only here for the T&A and just like the ACTUAL hoes at the strip clubs I frequent, they’re going to take ‘Out of the three girls in the house, you have the nicest tits’ to be a compliment! :D”.
This, of course, triggered the girls who fantasized that all these guys would be chasing them if they were fat and ugly, well… that fantasized that they would have been on a reality show AT ALL if they were fat and ugly, to go “You know what?… Out of all the guys here that perceive us as [insert whatever women think, because I have no clue what it could possibly be], THIS ONE GUY….. THINKS THAT WE’RE *HOES*!!! :O”
Meanwhile, the rest of the dudes look all spiffy because they let him sink by his lonesome. Knowing damned well that they ALL chimed in at one point or another about which chick was the hottest and WHY, they all sat there like “OMG! :O Did you hear what he just said? :O” like it was some mystery or that dude had suddenly flipped his wig and needed to be committed. If she would have taken a poll of the guys that were there at the time as far as what they thought of her body, she would have received shoulder-shrugs and “I hadn’t really thought about it”. That’s because even most CAVEMEN were smart enough not to run out of the cave while the dinosaur was cold lampin’ outside. 😀
So then, when dude’s about to get kicked off the show, he recants everything. “I was so wrong.. I was being disrespectful, blah blah blah”. He didn’t get booted and you know the first thing he said to the other guys was “Ha-HAAAA.. The ***** with the nice tits didn’t kick me off the show! :D”.
So the moral of our story is to either lie to women and be happy or tell the truth and take your chances. 😀 I mean, if you actually DID approach her because of the color of her eyes and you decided to request her number because she’s one of the smartest women you’ve ever met in your life, then roll with that! 😀 If you thought she was hawt, loved her accent and felt like banging her in the broom closet five minutes after you met her, make sure you mention how nice her hair looks and that you’d love to continue this stimulating conversation over dinner sometime.