So I’m reading TheDiva Rockin‘s blog post where she outlines how she would like a first date with a guy to evolve. I found her concepts to be interesting and reasonable from the female side of things. Let’s see how the exact same date scenario evolved for the guy….. >:D
TheDiva: The following are the steps which I would ideally like a guy to follow leading up to a first date. In some cases I have skipped over a step here and there or added in a few, but over all I think this is a fair and appropriate execution:
Step One: “Guy finds interest in my profile (on one of the various sites I am a member of) and messages me with a competent and interesting introduction.”
Actual Step One: Guy browses online dating site in grid mode so he can fit 40 chicks on a page instead of 10 and also he gets to save the time of consciously skipping over whatever nonsense she wrote about herself in order to see the next chick’s picture.
Guy finishes skimming through all the new entries and starts looking through the tabs he created from the pictures he selected…. I mean, not looking through the tabs, but rather scanning the pages he selected for the “More Pictures” button.
Guy finds more pictures of the chick which inform him whether he’d be willing to tap that or not if he met up with her IRL. No extra pictures = closed tab. Bad extra pictures = closed tab. Good extra pictures, but in light of the new evidence, he’s not interested in hooking up with her = closed tab.
Guy re-skims the profiles of the gals who made the cut, looking for something she wrote that he can CLAIM made him interested in dating her other than she has a really nice ass. He then writes something like “I like fluffy pillows and cats too! :D” instead of “Does your body still look like that or are those old pictures?”.
TheDiva: Step Two: “I review Guy’s profile and in finding a mutual interest I message him back with general commentary on his profile or intro message.”
I knew that Random Guy knew that chicks actually READ what guys write on online dating sites, so he changed his profile to match hers BEFORE he contacted her.
All the stuff he used to pull the last chick, he deleted and replaced with her favorite movies, books, etc. He even googled a couple of them so he could pull some quotes to add authenticity.
Guy receives requisite message indicating “OMG, WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON! 😀 yadda yadda” and he knows it’s Game On! >:D
The obvious problem here is that he kicked it to at least 5 chicks last night, who are all going to have slightly different text content in their profiles. In this case, his best bet was to match the profile of the chick he wanted THE MOST and then add tidbits from what the other gals wrote in decreasing order of tapability… tapworthiness? \o/
TheDiva: Step Three: “After a few exchanges, if the conversation is going well, I provide my personal email (note: I am not a fan of Instant Messaging or talking on the Phone right away, though I have made exceptions to this in some cases).”
Jeez. This is taking AGES! :/ … Exchanges? Conversation? What’s going on here? O_o This is like actually having a job. All this work I put in and then I get an EMAIL ADDRESS? Damn. What is this? Dante’s rings of the inferno? :/
TheDiva: Step Four: “Guy requests a meet up.”
DAMNED ******* SKIPPY
I HE REQUESTED A MEETUP!!!
The meetup was REQUESTED in the first communication, yet conveniently ignored so this chick could entertain herself with “exchanges” and “conversation”. UGH! :/
TheDiva: Step Five: “I agree to meet Guy over coffee or a casual drink and provide my phone number so that we can discuss the arrangement.”
Finally. Please. Thank *GOD* we’re finally getting this show on the ROAD! 😀
Now, all I have to do is not get caught calling her by my wife like Tiger Woods.
TheDiva: Step Six: “Meet Guy for Coffee/Drink, but keep it short and sweet. If all goes well we should agree to a 1st date before departing.”
Completely Agreed! 😀 The first meetup needs to be short & sweet. It also needs to be strategically located within walking distance of the nearest motel, just in case The Kid makes it HAPPEN, SUNN!!! 😀
TheDiva: Step Seven: “Our 1st Date. Nothing fancy – lunch or dinner at a casual spot will do. Maybe a cocktail or two and some witty banter.”
ok.. So I didn’t make it to the motel on Date Zero. :/ However.. I determined upon spending time with this woman that she’s as sexy as her pictures indicated or eve MORE so! 😀 Therefore, I’m more than willing to jump through a few more hoops in order to get on. Lunch is better than dinner because I can be rid of her by 4pm and then get ready for my other date later this evening. No point in showing up for the real action smelling like some other chick because I hugged her goodbye and got some of her perfume on me.
Lots of meaningless banter during Lunch and pointing out the color of the leaves and other stuff that chicks dig. Make sure she consumes lots of liquids so she has to get up from her seat to hit the bathroom a couple of times so
I YOU can accurately assess her ass while she’s leaving. You know how sometimes, chicks luck out and the light hits their ass just the right way to make it look good in a picture, but IRL, it’s just not an athletic ass, like how it doesn’t clench when she walks or it looks like an orange because she’s wearing her grand-ma-ma panties under her jeans which divide it into several sections….. um, what was I talking about?
TheDiva: “Now, I’d prefer not to be asked to go out again while still on the 1st date. I think a guy should follow up the next day or shortly thereafter if he is interested. Plus, if I am no longer feeling him at the end of the date, it takes some pressure off me where I am likely to say yes to your face when I really mean No Thank You.”
By asking her out again for the future, you’re assuming she’s not coming down the street to the motel with you.
Chicks Dig Confidence. Whether you get it or you don’t, you have to think, feel and believe you’re going to get on immediately if not sooner because this chick is sweating you RIGHT. NOW. 😀 If you Herb out with a line like “Did you have a nice time?.. Do you think we should go out again?”, you lose.
Damn ******* Skippy she wants to go out with you again. Damned ******* Skippy she’s hoping you invite her to the motel. Damn ******* Skippy she wants to go out with you again because you showed her a better time tonight than any of her other suitors. There’s nothing to ASK about. You know you rocked this date. You know SHE knows you rocked this date. You know that anybody that SAW YOU WITH HER said to their friend “That dude over there?.. He’s RAWKING that date! :O”!
If you’re just the type of dude that HAS to ask a chick something, ask her whether she’d like the Steak & Eggs or the Continental Breakfast from the motel’s room service menu. 😉