“My new friend is handsome, African-American, intelligent and seemingly wealthy. He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman. I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped. But something in me just knew he didn’t marry a sister. Although my guess hit the mark, when my friend told me his wife was indeed Caucasian, I felt my spirit…wince.” [Read more of Jill’s article…]
For more context, here’s a video of what she had to say on CNN:
Now, I was going to let this topic slide because I don’t care. However.. Sensing that we’re going to have some more fake Sex Addict claims in the near future, I may as well break up my ongoing coverage of that topic with something else.
First of all, let me say that I understand what Jill’s saying and I understand from reading what she wrote and listening to her in the video clip I posted above why she feels hurt about the situation.
Everybody that’s seen me in action knows how I roll. Of the gals I’ve messed with, the percentage of them that have been black is relatively close to 0% >:D
I think that covers all the disclaimers, so let’s discuss Jill’s topic, which specifically spoke about white chicks and black dudes.
We live in the United States of America.. In the year 2010 AD. Unless you live in an all-minority neighborhood and go to all-minority schools and work at all-minority jobs, MOST of the people you come into contact with in this country are going to be white.
According to the 2000 United States Census”, 75.1% of respondents said they were white, while 12.3% said they were black.
Let’s say we evened that out to 50% white and 50% black people across the board. That means that a black chick has the same chance as a flipped coin landing on either heads or tails to be selected by ANY GUY to mess with or get into a relationship. Even if the numbers were EVEN, there is NO CIRCUMSTANCE where a black female is 100% guaranteed to get the rap from a guy merely due to the fact that he happens to be black as well.
I think this is the main problem with Jill’s argument. Like I said, I understand why she feels the way she feels, but it’s entirely unreasonable to expect that guys are going to ignore 75% of women or 3 out of every 4 women in this country because their skin is a different color.
Do you know how hard guys have to work to get laid in this country? 😀 This whole thing is ridiculous. It’s not new, either. I’m glad it’s getting attention now that Jill brought it up, so maybe people will discuss this rationally and women that are being affected by this might be able to attain some enlightenment & closure and move on.
Life Isn’t Fair
I’m 5’9″. Thanks to all the drugs they’ve been putting in the meat for the last ten years, there are lots of chicks that are taller than I am. There are lots of chicks that don’t want to date guys that are shorter than they are. What do you want me to do about that? Cry? Complain? Talk about how unfair life is? Wear platform shoes like Prince? What do you want me to do? 😀
It’s ridiculous! There are lots of chicks that are 5’9″ and shorter that would love to hook up with me, so a brotha gotsta GET IN where he FIT IN. That’s how life works. Similarly, if you see a black dude with a white chick, that doesn’t mean YOU could have pulled him even IF he only dated black chicks to begin with. You still would have had to fend off, what?.. 30,000,000 OTHER black females?.. Good Luck.
The thing that I find laughable about this situation is the chicks that talk all this **** when they weren’t trying to give you any in the first place. 😀 Seriously.. Listen, ladies.. If you’re not tryin’na hook up with a dude, nobody cares what your opinion is. Nobody. Your argument has GOT. TO. BE. “If you don’t hook up with that white chick, I’ll give you some”. If it’s not YOU, it’s gonna have to be a good-looking homegirl of yours.
Seriously. It’s like you’re saying “Don’t buy that pretzel from that vendor” and then we don’t and then you’re there like “…………..”. What am I supposed to do? Starve? Because *YOU* came up with the stupid idea for me NOT to do something without offering me a preferable alternative?
Does Race Matter?
While I’m on the topic, a female friend of mine, who of course is white, asked me something to the effect of “Does race even matter in tech?”, adding “I don’t know the race of a person I’m talking to on the phone or over the internet”. The reason she asked me this is that I had been explaining to her about a situation which caused James Andrews to write “How We Were Kanye’d At SXSW 2010 And Why It Was Wrong” which Faith Dow responded to with This Post and This Post.
Long story short.. Apparently, there was a SXSW panel called “Blacks In Tech”, which, actually, now that I look at the lineup on James Andrews’ blog post, included my friend Nichelle Stephens, which failed to field an all-black panel. Faith Dow took exception to this and brought it up when it was her turn to speak when they opened the floor to audience members.
There was more hubbub. Go read their posts if you give a damn. The point is that if you’re going to make something called Five Apples On A Stage, there had damned ******* well be FIVE ******* APPLES on the stage or you just have to eat it (haha no pun intended) when someone says “THOSE ARE ORANGES! :/”. There’s nothing you can say about it. There’s no defense whatsoever.
Anyway, that’s what led to my friend’s question. The answer is that race matters in tech to fools.
If you become aware that someone’s better, more stylish, more creative, more insightful or just plain FASTER than other people that do the exact same job he or she does and you elect not to hire them because their skin color is different from yours, you get what you deserve, which is an inferior product.
So if the panel had been named “Minorities In Tech”, Faith Dow wouldn’t have had jack to say about it… Except it WASN’T named that, so it either looks like DELIBERATELY FALSE ADVERTISING or an EPIC FAILURE in an attempt to find either 5 or 6 black people to sit on the same SXSW panel in the year 2010 AD (When this amazing feat has already been pulled off at several SXSW conferences in the past). There’s no defense against this. The panel should have been renamed before SXSW even started, or the panel should have been populated as advertised.
Getting back to Jill Scott’s point.. If you’re going to reach all the way back to Civil Rights and beyond to explain why you wince when black guys hook up with white girls, you need to focus on what the point was of granting people rights in the first place. It wasn’t “Please, oh please grant us the right to kick it to 12% of the American population”. It was “Grant us the right to do the **** whatever we FEEL like doing, so long as we’re within the law and not hurting anybody”. Instead of feeling poorly, shouldn’t you actually feel HAPPY that SOMEONE benefitted from Civil Rights? O_o
What about when blacks work for white companies? Is that upsetting too? 😀 Should blacks turn down white clients for some odd reason? Should blacks not be on linkedin? What about Facebook? Should blacks only patronize BlackPlanet.com? I mean, seriously, where does it end? \o/
There is no reason at all why a black dude shouldn’t kick it with a white chick that’s interested in him, unless of course, she’s busted.
That’s how it works. If a chick is attractive, “She could get it”. If she’s not attractive, “Nah.. That’s AIITE!”. Most guys, black, white or otherwise aren’t thinking about the situation any more deeply than that.
Also… I suggest that y’all stop spreading rumors that white chicks listen to orders, take their men shopping, act properly around company, let you do all kinds of Tiger-Woods-sex-text-message-type stuff to them and then get up and make you a sandwich, because you’re only making matters worse for YOURSELVES!!! >:D