As much as women hate to admit it, y’all are primarily selected visually when it comes to dating. I don’t know ANYBODY that has EVER told me “Man.. That chick is BUSTED!.. I’m gonna go over there and say ‘hi’! :D”.
You were selected because he likes how you look. He likes your hairstyle or length or whether it’s curly or straight. He likes how your body has ample curves or it doesn’t. He thinks you’re facially cute, pretty or hawt.
There are definitely other things he likes about you, like personality, intelligence, wit, earning potential… but he finds out about those AFTER he sees you. If he selects a gal to spend time with, it’s PROBABLY because he likes how she looks.
If his relationship with her happens to end and he gets back in The Game, he’s going to be looking for the traits he visually enjoys. This is the first reason it makes perfect sense why you look like his ex. You have the same combination of physical features that made him feel like having sex with his ex, so it’s Game On!!! 😀
If his relationship ended because his girl’s visual type changed (she was chunky and got too skinny… she was skinny and got too chunky… she had long, red, curly hair and then cut most of it off, straightened it and dyed it blonde…), he’s definitely going to be looking to upgrade, or at least in Photoshop terms, he’d like to “Revert to last saved version”. It would be much faster for him to get a different chick that looks the way she used to look than to put her on a diet or wait for her hair to grow back.
If his relationship ended because she stopped giving it up, she’s visually the same, yet functionally deficient. It’s easier to get a new chick that looks just like her than to get her back online as far as the sex thing. It’s like how you don’t want to bend metal and then try to bend it back. Just get another bar. 🙂
If his relationship ended because SHE bounced on him because of his, er.. shortcomings… It’s in his best interest to start all over with a new chick that looks like her so he can reset the timer until THIS chick finds out what the other one found out that caused her to leave.
If they broke up because of personality clashes, he might be looking to upgrade to the same chick, visually, but without the character flaws. Then again, being around a gal that reminds him of his ex could easily trigger flashbacks for him to jacked-up situations that occurred between them.
Another interesting issue is familiarity. It’s pretty weird and I can’t explain it, but I remember stumbling upon a video blog by a female that looked very much like my ex, except younger than when she and I were together. It felt like a prequel, haha like how X-Men Origins: Wolverine was supposed to be before X-Men, but was actually filmed 9 years later.
If it had been ANY OTHER CHICK, I wouldn’t have listened to what she said for longer than it took me to close the window, but it was really fascinating, hearing her opinions, even though I knew damned well that I *WASN’T* watching video that my ex had taped before I met her.
I think this is a rather interesting form of Transference:
“Transference is a phenomenon in psychoanalysis characterized by unconscious redirection of feelings from one person to another…
Transference was first described by Sigmund Freud, who acknowledged its importance for psychoanalysis for better understanding of the patient’s feelings.”
Of course, this is totally unfair to the “replacement” gal, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles sometimes. The transfer could be to the new person’s benefit or detriment. It would be beneficial if the displaced feelings due to similar looks created an environment where he was more willing to listen to what she had to say and find out about who SHE really is as an individual. If he then selected her on her own merits and started dating her, she lucked out that she got a foot in the door.
OTOH, it would be detrimental if he didn’t care about her as an individual at all and was merely kickin’ it with yet another chick that fits his “type”. This would lead to a “The More, The Merrier” situation where he might end up messing with her AND his ex at the same time or any new gals that he determines to also be his visual type. I mean, the only thing better than a hawt chick is….. MORE THAN ONE HAWT CHICK!!! 😀
Personally, I’m not into twins. I know that’s supposed to be a typical worldwide male fetish, but I’m actually not into messing with multiple chicks simultaneously.. simultaneously meaning instantaneously simultaneously as in “in Parallel”. I have no problem messing with several chicks “in Series”, meaning one after the other with infinitesimally little time in between, but a lot of people would consider that hooking up with them simultaneously, being that both instances would have occurred on the exact same day, unless I finished messing with one of them exactly at midnight because I guess you could say I was actually hooking up with the second one “tomorrow”…. um.. I digress.
Rocks & Hard Places
I also would be scared to death to run into an ex with a girl that looks exactly like her. How are you supposed to live that down that she gets to go “AAAAAAAH! Couldn’t get enough of this right here so you had to go out and try to get another one, HA-HAAA!!! :D”. Honestly, I don’t even like to duplicate names. Historically, my most successful name has been Christine. I’ve probably had several of each, but the variations include Christine, Chris, Chrissy, Chrissie, Christina and probably a couple of variations that start with “K”, like Kristine and Krystal, but I don’t remember offhand.
I think it’s just as “YIKES!!! :O” to introduce a Christine to a Christine as it is to introduce females that look essentially identical to each other. Another faux pas is INFORMING a chick that she looks like your ex. It’s a gamble. You could win with it or lose with it. I wouldn’t bother saying so if I could avoid it and was already kickin’ it to the chick. It’s still a good pick-up line though, if ya got nothin’ else. \o/
It gets even worse if you whip out your.. smartphone and show her pictures of your ex. Hopefully not pictures of your ex on your WALLPAPER, but assuming you have an internet connection and can access your flickr account.
Ultimately, I don’t think it makes any difference at all. It *COULD* indicate that dude wasn’t ready to give up his ex emotionally or give up hooking up with her physically, but most likely, it just indicates his “type” as far as women’s looks. I wouldn’t worry about it unless he’s calling you some other chick’s name while he’s tappin’ it, in which case, well… Guess it sucks to be you. 😀