Energy is CRITICALLY IMPORTANT if you’re planning an evening of kickin’ it with chicks. Not like Food Energy, but perhaps a socialization energy that you need to receive, cultivate and then maintain throughout the night.
The reason I bring this up is because I party like a business. I think the shortest amount of partying I ever do is 4 hours, non-stop. I probably average 6 hours and my recent record is 12 hours. That’s on weekdays.
I go out on weekdays because too many people are able to go out on weekends. Your favorite spots get crowded & noisy and you really can’t enjoy the gals you invited out with you properly. It also takes you forever to get a brew as the bartenders are overrun with requests. I like to walk to the bar, immediately order and then BE OUT in the time that it takes for my Guinness to slowly drip out of the tap! >:D
Anyway… If you’re one of those “Go to the Happy Hour for an hour between leaving work and going home to wifey” people, you don’t need to read this. 😀 If you intend to get in the trenches and see what you can do, read on…
Energy begins with the invite. Your day’s going along smoothly and all of a sudden, you get an email or a text inviting you to a party or a small group or one-on-one hangout and you FEEL something about that or you don’t. It either occurs to you mentally, emotionally, perhaps physically as a good opportunity or a good time, or it doesn’t.
If you’re not feelin’ it, you check the guest list. Wack events sometimes have people coming to it that make it worth your time. This is why you should NEVER make your guest list private. Three worthwhile guests might make your party a GO instead of a PASS. Don’t make people guess who might be there when they show up.
If you’re still not feelin’ the event, you might be able to salvage something from the evening if you BYOB (Bring Your Own… um.. Person). The proper female company can make *any* event tolerable. So long as you have your base for socialization, anything else that happens that evening is fringe benefits.. icing on the cake. With the right chick, you can have a good time in 30-degree-below weather in Alaska, so you can DEFINITELY enjoy a room-temperature party in NYC.
However you do it, you *MUST* start your plan for the evening with the proper energy. If you’ve exhausted all perceptible options and you’re still not feelin’ it, ditch it and either plan something off the grid with a chick you already know or order food and call it a night. 😀
Once you have your base energy, you have to visualize your evening. What’s likely to happen? Who’s likely to show up? Are you gonna meet new chicks or enhance your relationship with chicks you already know? What’s your anticipated takeaway from the evening?
IMO, Parties are for meeting new people. I routinely go +4 to +10 Facebook Friends per event, depending on the makeup of the party. That’s because I’m liable to know 60 people in attendance at larger gigs and they’re sure to introduce me to several people I’ve never seen before. If that’s your goal, to expand your sphere of influence, visualize what that would look like and feel like in order to build your socialization energy to higher levels. ENJOY meeting the people before you actually meet them so you’re looking forward to it and energetic when it actually occurs.
Maybe there are specific chicks you want to meet when you get there. Imagine what that’s like. Imagine that they’re the coolest chick evAr and you’re gonna feel like marrying her after a 10-minute IRL conversation with her. Imagine that you’re going to leave the party thinking about her and wake up thinking about her in the morning. Imagine that this is the splendid day that you’re going to meet someone that you’ll want to spend time with for the rest of your lives. THIS is the reason you’re going to this party… It’s your DESTINY!!! >:D
Once you stock up on energy, you need to work on your presentation. What kind of event are you going to? How do you need to dress? How do you need to carry yourself? What kind of chicks should be there? Which elements of your arsenal do you need to amp up in order to feel like you’re going to have a successful evening? (Whatever that means.. Contacts, Hookups, Meeting new chicks, Practicing your sap rap…)
It requires an entirely different energy to dress up in a suit and go to an event than it takes to throw on your jeans and leather jacket and hit a spot. James Bond vs James Dean. Entirely different vibes.. Both immensely effective or ineffective, depending on where you’re going and what the chicks are into.
As far as NYC, if you want to be prepared for ANYTHING, it’s Jeans, Black Shoes, Button-Down Shirt, Blazer. If you need to bring a jacket, break out the Trench. This is only if you have no idea where the night’s heading. If you’re going LES / East Village, ditch the blazer for a hoodie or ski jacket. If you’re hitting the bar at the Waldorf, you need to be suit-down.
Whatever the situation, you need to be fully in-character by the time you walk out the door. Whichever style you’ve chosen, you’re gonna SMASH IT!!! >:D You know you put your best foot forward and it’s Full Speed Ahead!.. Any chick you run into is gonna dig your style and hope you try to book her. You’ve done the absolute MOST you could have today to Be That Guy she wants to hook up with, so now it’s all down to luck and circumstance, not lack of preparation.
If you decided to BYOB, meet up with your chick an hour or so before the party so you can get your Personal Time in with her and have a drink or two. By the time you hit the event, you want to feel like you already had a fun & successful evening, so everything else that happens for the rest of the night is an unexpected treat.
Hopefully, in your pre-gaming, your energy went UP instead of DOWN, because this is where you start losing it. Irrelevant Conversation drains your energy. Redundant Conversation drains your energy (which is why I always bypass the “What Do You Do?” question with “I’m a video editor.”). Chicks that aren’t about anything drain your energy. Lack of food because you were drinking for 6 hours straight drains your energy. Not talking about what you REALLY wanted to talk about with a chick because you’re in a crowd of people whose business it isn’t drains your energy.
What usually happens after the larger parties is that smaller groups break off for the after-party. This is like overtime in a football game. This is where the rubber meets the road. If you had PLANNED on partying until midnight and only built energy for that much time, you’re going to be a complete DUD when it’s time for the after-party and you may as well bail, go home and go to sleep.
Unfortunately, the after-party is where you want to be, because only those “in the know” were informed about it. You may very well end up traipsing around Manhattan at 4:30am looking for a spot that’s open, serves breakfast and can accommodate your group. If you started your pre-gaming at 6pm, you’re probably running rather low on energy at this point. 😀
However, the after-party is always where the most important memories are made. The main gig is a bunch of glad-handing and networking and posing for pictures. The after-party is the locker room after you won the World Series. It’s the cool-down period where we really get to know each other and solidify relationships.
As a side note, there are likely to be several after-parties hosted by different people. Some of them are more exclusive than others, yet may be comprised of people you’ve already bonded with, so the less popular hangout might be the move for tonight. Depending on what your goal was when you envisioned your evening, select the one that best serves tonight’s purpose. If anything, you can still catch up with the other posses by e-Stalking Foursquare later.
Utilizing more advanced techniques, you split up with your homies and each check out different parties so you can report to each other and descend upon the most happenin’ spot later.
Of course.. All this assumes that you didn’t meet a chick during your hangout that wants to take it in a new direction to a different level! >;D This is another situation you have to plan your energy for. You have to know whether you can put your best “hooking up” foot forward, should the situation arise when you’ve expended most of your energy already.
What you DON’T want to do is half-step and hook up with her in a half-assed fashion because the opportunity happened to present itself. If you feel like you can’t make it, make sure she knows you’re interested in her and give her part of the show, but let her know you’ll pick it up with her another time when you can bring your A-Game… Assuming she’s still interested when she’s sober. \o/
This is also why you want to select your pre-gaming gals properly. They need to be your homies… Down with the program… They need to know “how you do”. They need to not Catch Feelin’s if you latch onto some other chick and see what you can do. Similarly.. You have to be down with THEIR program and looking out for THEIR best interests. If there’s a dude they want to meet, you need to make that happen for them. It’s not all about YOU. It’s all about YOU *AND* HER. It’s the team. The Unit. Y’all enter the fray together and do what you do and emerge after the action with war stories to tell over your next off-the-grid brews. >:D