Energy [Hunters, Part 06]

Bill CammackEnergy is CRITICALLY IMPORTANT if you’re planning an evening of kickin’ it with chicks. Not like Food Energy, but perhaps a socialization energy that you need to receive, cultivate and then maintain throughout the night.

The reason I bring this up is because I party like a business. I think the shortest amount of partying I ever do is 4 hours, non-stop. I probably average 6 hours and my recent record is 12 hours. That’s on weekdays.

I go out on weekdays because too many people are able to go out on weekends. Your favorite spots get crowded & noisy and you really can’t enjoy the gals you invited out with you properly. It also takes you forever to get a brew as the bartenders are overrun with requests. I like to walk to the bar, immediately order and then BE OUT in the time that it takes for my Guinness to slowly drip out of the tap! >:D

Anyway… If you’re one of those “Go to the Happy Hour for an hour between leaving work and going home to wifey” people, you don’t need to read this. 😀 If you intend to get in the trenches and see what you can do, read on…

Genesis

Energy begins with the invite. Your day’s going along smoothly and all of a sudden, you get an email or a text inviting you to a party or a small group or one-on-one hangout and you FEEL something about that or you don’t. It either occurs to you mentally, emotionally, perhaps physically as a good opportunity or a good time, or it doesn’t.

If you’re not feelin’ it, you check the guest list. Wack events sometimes have people coming to it that make it worth your time. This is why you should NEVER make your guest list private. Three worthwhile guests might make your party a GO instead of a PASS. Don’t make people guess who might be there when they show up.

If you’re still not feelin’ the event, you might be able to salvage something from the evening if you BYOB (Bring Your Own… um.. Person). The proper female company can make *any* event tolerable. So long as you have your base for socialization, anything else that happens that evening is fringe benefits.. icing on the cake. With the right chick, you can have a good time in 30-degree-below weather in Alaska, so you can DEFINITELY enjoy a room-temperature party in NYC.

However you do it, you *MUST* start your plan for the evening with the proper energy. If you’ve exhausted all perceptible options and you’re still not feelin’ it, ditch it and either plan something off the grid with a chick you already know or order food and call it a night. 😀

Visualization

Once you have your base energy, you have to visualize your evening. What’s likely to happen? Who’s likely to show up? Are you gonna meet new chicks or enhance your relationship with chicks you already know? What’s your anticipated takeaway from the evening?

IMO, Parties are for meeting new people. I routinely go +4 to +10 Facebook Friends per event, depending on the makeup of the party. That’s because I’m liable to know 60 people in attendance at larger gigs and they’re sure to introduce me to several people I’ve never seen before. If that’s your goal, to expand your sphere of influence, visualize what that would look like and feel like in order to build your socialization energy to higher levels. ENJOY meeting the people before you actually meet them so you’re looking forward to it and energetic when it actually occurs.

Maybe there are specific chicks you want to meet when you get there. Imagine what that’s like. Imagine that they’re the coolest chick evAr and you’re gonna feel like marrying her after a 10-minute IRL conversation with her. Imagine that you’re going to leave the party thinking about her and wake up thinking about her in the morning. Imagine that this is the splendid day that you’re going to meet someone that you’ll want to spend time with for the rest of your lives. THIS is the reason you’re going to this party… It’s your DESTINY!!! >:D

Presentation

Bill CammackOnce you stock up on energy, you need to work on your presentation. What kind of event are you going to? How do you need to dress? How do you need to carry yourself? What kind of chicks should be there? Which elements of your arsenal do you need to amp up in order to feel like you’re going to have a successful evening? (Whatever that means.. Contacts, Hookups, Meeting new chicks, Practicing your sap rap…)

It requires an entirely different energy to dress up in a suit and go to an event than it takes to throw on your jeans and leather jacket and hit a spot. James Bond vs James Dean. Entirely different vibes.. Both immensely effective or ineffective, depending on where you’re going and what the chicks are into.

As far as NYC, if you want to be prepared for ANYTHING, it’s Jeans, Black Shoes, Button-Down Shirt, Blazer. If you need to bring a jacket, break out the Trench. This is only if you have no idea where the night’s heading. If you’re going LES / East Village, ditch the blazer for a hoodie or ski jacket. If you’re hitting the bar at the Waldorf, you need to be suit-down.

Whatever the situation, you need to be fully in-character by the time you walk out the door. Whichever style you’ve chosen, you’re gonna SMASH IT!!! >:D You know you put your best foot forward and it’s Full Speed Ahead!.. Any chick you run into is gonna dig your style and hope you try to book her. You’ve done the absolute MOST you could have today to Be That Guy she wants to hook up with, so now it’s all down to luck and circumstance, not lack of preparation.

Pre-Gaming

If you decided to BYOB, meet up with your chick an hour or so before the party so you can get your Personal Time in with her and have a drink or two. By the time you hit the event, you want to feel like you already had a fun & successful evening, so everything else that happens for the rest of the night is an unexpected treat.

Hopefully, in your pre-gaming, your energy went UP instead of DOWN, because this is where you start losing it. Irrelevant Conversation drains your energy. Redundant Conversation drains your energy (which is why I always bypass the “What Do You Do?” question with “I’m a video editor.”). Chicks that aren’t about anything drain your energy. Lack of food because you were drinking for 6 hours straight drains your energy. Not talking about what you REALLY wanted to talk about with a chick because you’re in a crowd of people whose business it isn’t drains your energy.

After-Party

Suzy, Oz, Brett, Alana, Adam, Gary & BillWhat usually happens after the larger parties is that smaller groups break off for the after-party. This is like overtime in a football game. This is where the rubber meets the road. If you had PLANNED on partying until midnight and only built energy for that much time, you’re going to be a complete DUD when it’s time for the after-party and you may as well bail, go home and go to sleep.

Unfortunately, the after-party is where you want to be, because only those “in the know” were informed about it. You may very well end up traipsing around Manhattan at 4:30am looking for a spot that’s open, serves breakfast and can accommodate your group. If you started your pre-gaming at 6pm, you’re probably running rather low on energy at this point. 😀

However, the after-party is always where the most important memories are made. The main gig is a bunch of glad-handing and networking and posing for pictures. The after-party is the locker room after you won the World Series. It’s the cool-down period where we really get to know each other and solidify relationships.

As a side note, there are likely to be several after-parties hosted by different people. Some of them are more exclusive than others, yet may be comprised of people you’ve already bonded with, so the less popular hangout might be the move for tonight. Depending on what your goal was when you envisioned your evening, select the one that best serves tonight’s purpose. If anything, you can still catch up with the other posses by e-Stalking Foursquare later.

Utilizing more advanced techniques, you split up with your homies and each check out different parties so you can report to each other and descend upon the most happenin’ spot later.

Audible

Of course.. All this assumes that you didn’t meet a chick during your hangout that wants to take it in a new direction to a different level! >;D This is another situation you have to plan your energy for. You have to know whether you can put your best “hooking up” foot forward, should the situation arise when you’ve expended most of your energy already.

What you DON’T want to do is half-step and hook up with her in a half-assed fashion because the opportunity happened to present itself. If you feel like you can’t make it, make sure she knows you’re interested in her and give her part of the show, but let her know you’ll pick it up with her another time when you can bring your A-Game… Assuming she’s still interested when she’s sober. \o/

This is also why you want to select your pre-gaming gals properly. They need to be your homies… Down with the program… They need to know “how you do”. They need to not Catch Feelin’s if you latch onto some other chick and see what you can do. Similarly.. You have to be down with THEIR program and looking out for THEIR best interests. If there’s a dude they want to meet, you need to make that happen for them. It’s not all about YOU. It’s all about YOU *AND* HER. It’s the team. The Unit. Y’all enter the fray together and do what you do and emerge after the action with war stories to tell over your next off-the-grid brews. >:D

billcammack.comBill Cammack email subscriptionBill Cammack RSS feedfacebook.com/BillCammacktwitter.com/BillCammackyoutube.com/reelsolidtvflickr.com/photos/BillCammackmyspace.com/reelsolidtvwww.linkedin.com/in/billcammackvimeo.com/billcammackstumbleupon.com/stumbler/billcammack

Join the Conversation

4 Comments

  1. A step by step plan…
    Dudes (and dudettes)dont realize how important this is, some of us do all the above w/o even knowing we are doing it. Nothing worse than having a gameplan whose point a is getting sum, point b getting sum, point c getting sum… How many busted evenings have happened cause point a fell through knocking every other point right out!! lol (yeah, i been there!)

    1. Yeah man. It’s absolutely critical. I’m a spur of the moment person, but the people that I hang out with know they’re not likely to see me within two hours of suggesting we hang out somewhere. That’s because I need to go through my process, which starts with actually WANTING TO HANG OUT WITH YOU and once I get a handle on that, I can start the whole “Focus & Build Energy” process.

      Most of the time, I’m thinking about whatever I’m thinking about. I’m not going “Hope I have lunch with Gina this afternoon”. My day’s just going how it goes and suddenly I go off on a tangent because some new opportunity’s presented to me for what I can do later today. The concept literally comes out of nowhere and I have to get used to it, like it, get prepared for it, envision RAWKING IT, and then actually make it happen.

      It works the other way too, which is why I never make advance plans except for work. I can’t tell somebody I’ll hang out with them next week because if next week rolls around and I’m not thinking about them or I’m not interested in what they suggested, I’m not doing it. In fact, I probably didn’t think about them ONE TIME between when they suggested the plan and when they email me to figure out when/where to meet up. So I don’t bother. It’s bad enough when you have to rev up your energy quickly in order to do something you didn’t want to do, but what’s worse is that I don’t even bother. I don’t care. It wasn’t my idea. I’m not interested. I have ZERO INCENTIVE to put myself through what I have to go through to attempt to bring my A-Game to the table.

      Then, what happens is that you end up making mediocre (by your own standards, stellar by other people’s standards) showings and THAT’S not worth it either, so you’re just like “**** it.. If I’m not feelin’ it, I’m not doin’ it. Period.”

      The flip side of that is that I have to be cool with cancellations by people that know how hanging out with me works. I usually can’t guarantee someone that I’m going somewhere until two hours before the event starts and sometimes 30 minutes before the event starts. I have to respect that when I get in touch with them after going through my processes to decide to go, they might say that they made other plans in the meantime or decided not to go themselves.

      The courtesy I extend to them for going along with my program is total flexibility as far as whether we meet up at all, whether we meet up later than we planned or whether we go somewhere other than the spot we had agreed upon. All I know is that until I’m perfectly in “GO mode”, I’m not liable to hang out with ANYBODY to do ANYTHING because I’d rather do whatever I naturally felt like doing at that point in time.

      The exception is if I’m hanging out with long-time homeboys and we’re keeping it local or I’m going to the bummy gym. That’s still annoying, because I pretty much meet chicks everywhere I go, and it’s a drag to be standing there like “I wish I would have hooked myself up before coming the **** to lunch” instead of feeling on-point and with my best chances of getting a good reaction from her when we lock eyes…

  2. I had to use this yesterday (Saturday).

    My plan for the day had been to go to a cookout / birthday party that was starting at 4pm. That was the extent of the plan. Open-ended. Whatever happens happens because I make connections and receive new invitations during the course of an evening.

    When the time rolled around for me to get ready, around 2pm, I was physically tired *AND* my visualization wasn’t working for me. I didn’t have any of my go-to chicks to accompany me to the party (I need to get a new one, actually. Yesterday solidified that for me.) and I wasn’t seeing the logistics of the situation working out well for me. I was actually leaning way towards going to sleep in the middle of the day than towards going to the cookout.

    Earlier in the day, I had contacted another gal I know (not on the main roster) who had said she was down to go to the party and then informed me that she wasn’t going to be able to make it there until after 6pm. This probably added to my sleepiness at 2pm because I realized that if I hit the party at 4, I’d be short for at least two hours before her ETA.

    I ended up timing it so that I would get to the party at 6. I ran into a friend of mine, who was like “Where are you going? To work?” because I had on a long-sleeve shirt with a collar and it was summertime weather yesterday. I was like “Nah.. I’m going to a cookout.. It’s just that I never know what’s going to happen, so I might end up going to a bar in the middle of the night and you know how some of them are about not letting dudes in without collared shirts”. The point being that I had to be prepared for all potential scenarios and the only way to do that was to dress towards the most potentially-demanding situation instead of the least-demanding.

    So I get out of the subway, pick up some brew at the corner store and head for the party. On the way there, I text the gal that’s supposed to meet up with me, saying that I had arrived on the spot. She didn’t respond. I entered the party, greeted my host, dropped the beer on the ice and was introduced to several people by my host.

    About 30 minutes later, I’m aware that I’m experiencing a serious energy drain. I tough it out for another 45 minutes or so and then I’m like “ok.. This chick isn’t showing up. Let me inform her I’m about to bounce”. I hadn’t texted her since that one time right after I had left the subway because she had already said she MIGHT come through after 6pm, so there was no point in texting “Are you coming? Are you coming? Are you coming?” 😀

    So I select her message thread and I start typing……. And then I notice a little symbol next to THE ONLY text I had written to her about an hour and a half before. This symbol indicated that MY. PHONE. NEVER. SENT. THE. DAMNED. TEXT!!!!! :/ That meant that the last communication she received from me was saying that I had planned to get there at 6pm and I *WOULD* text her when I arrived. Apparently, my damned PHONE didn’t reconnect to the network right after I exited the subway, so when I pressed “send”, the text never went anywhere. As soon as I contacted her, she was like “Cool.. Getting ready to head over” :/

    So now, I had to wait there EVEN LONGER (obviously ENTIRELY due to my own fault) for her to eventually arrive around 9:30pm. This was when phase 2 of the evening started (hanging out with her), which I had initially planned to overlap with phase 1 (the party).

    I regained my focus and started rebuilding my reserves. There was a lot of cool stuff going on, grililng, drinking, DJs, people performing their own music… So I ended up getting home around 2:30am, or NINE HOURS after I headed out to the party. I was really tired, but energy-wise felt fine, as evidenced by the fact that it’s now 8:30am and I’ve been awake for at least 45 minutes and feel perfect. 🙂

    Visualization helped me because the party was laid out essentially as I had suspected, except it was several pockets of multiple people as opposed to lots of individuals milling about. After my first couple of conversations with individuals, my energy started nosediving. OH! 😀 HAHA I just realized that another issue is that the type of beer that was popular at that party (it’s a neighborhood / social group thing) is really more similar to water than beer. Now that I think about it, I wasn’t able to properly utilize alcohol to distract myself from my energy drain, which causes a spiral. You lose energy, you notice you’re losing energy, you understand why you’re losing energy, which drains more of your energy as you watch yourself go down the tubes.

    That’s where visualization came in handy, because I was aware that I was energetically in a way worse position than I had expected to be for that time of the evening. I either had to find a way to get it back or leave the party, which was when I realized that my phone never sent my message and then I had to batten down the hatches and hold out until my company arrived.

    Being aware of energy in general came in handy because I realized that I was back in action as soon as she arrived. The generators turned on and my mind started clicking and focusing and I exited Energy Saver Mode. From 9:30 on, my social energy was building instead of depleting. I was actually SURPRISED when I saw a clock that said 2:02am when I was heading home. I totally didn’t believe it. I immediately checked my phone, which showed the exact same time.

    Also, by the time I came home this morning, it was actually pretty chilly. My long-sleeve shirt came in handy against the elements.

    Had I not bothered to visualize, monitor and regulate my energy yesterday, I would have missed out on SOME part of my nine-hour adventure. I would just eventually have been like “BLAH” and I wouldn’t have known why. Instead, the party hostess showed everyone a great time, I met some new people, enjoyed spending time with my friend who came to the party to hang out with me… Mission Accomplished! 😀

    Now, for a nice, relaxing social DAY OFF!!! 😀

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.