As a follow-up to my 2008 post “Women’s Guide to NYC Dating”, I’d like to offer the ladies some of my top tips for those of y’all that are currently involved in the dating scene:
1. Stop going outside looking like a bum
Being that women think romantic situations fall out of the sky via divine intervention, y’all often leave your cribs completely unprepared to visually impress a guy.
Here’s the problem with that. YOU don’t get to decide when you run into a guy you might like to date. If you’re in public AT ALL, you SHOULD be looking STELLAR. Period.
Also, in the year 2010, photo-ops come up instantaneously. If you show up to a party looking BUSTED, that’s what’s going to go out on Facebook, MySpace, Flickr, Bebo, and everywhere else people put pictures and/or videos and then that’s going to represent you to guys that stumble upon images of you in social media streams.
I told a friend of mine I was getting to a party early and her reply was “I’ll be there later because I need to go home from work, get myself looking good and then go to the party”. That’s EXACTLY what she should have done. >:D
Also, if you make plans to go out with someone you’re not romantically interested in, you STILL need to not look bummy because you never know who’s going to show up wherever y’all went to eat, drink or hang out and then you’ll feel corny for wearing your Grandmother 1930’s sweater, non-fitting pants and flip-flops outside instead of looking like a gal a guy would actually like to meet and potentially date.
The Game is *Always* On. Act As If.
2. Only date guys you have references for
A lot of guys wonder why I know so many women. Well… I know so many women because I know so many women.
HAHAHA I’m not being funny when I say that. Women know other women. The more women you know, the more women you’re going to meet. The best thing about that is that there’s a two-way system of checks & balances that comes automatically equipped with your new acquaintance. Both of youse get to ask the middle-woman about the other one.
On top of that, the vast majority of the time, people don’t want to introduce you to crumbs because that’s going to make THEM look bad and look like poor judges of character or even worse, that they were trying to parlay your friendship into some kind of business or networking deal on the sneak tip. So you can pretty much assume before asking either the introducer or the introducee any questions at all that this person is most likely cool.
Meanwhile… Every sentence I hear about dating from women starts out with “I met this guy on okCupid and…”, “I met this guy on PlentyOfFish and…”, “I met this guy on Match.com and…”.. and I’m like “Do these chicks know ANY guys that could actually INTRODUCE THEM to guys they might like to date? :D”.
One of the reasons y’all have so many problems dating is that you keep starting over from scratch with every new guy that you meet that you have ZERO social connection to whatsoever. Another problem is that he doesn’t have any incentive NOT to jerk you around because if you stop talking to him, who cares? He has more girls lined up on the dating sites. If you give him a bad review, who cares? You don’t know anybody he knows, so you’re a tree falling in the woods.
Y’all get to skip all that by meeting guys that your friends already know. If he’s a jerk, you can find that out ahead of time (or else your friends SUCK for not vetting him before introducing him to you). If he’s not a jerk NOW, he’s going to think at least thrice before BECOMING ONE, because he knows his entire social set’s going to find out about it with the worst-case scenario being that your full name becomes slang for a description of a particular way of being.. which is NORMALLY NEGATIVE! 😀
I happen to find this extremely funny, BTW! HAHA (example: “Who? Winston?… Yeah, I know him.. That guy’s a Bill Cammack. :/”) hahaha I love that SO MUCH when someone attains the height of notoriety while walking around oblivious to the fact that everyone’s hip to his M.O. hahaha 😀
Anyway, ladies.. Y’all need to start meeting guys through homegirls of yours instead of going on all these pot-luck grab-bag dates and ending up playing Parcheesi* at 2am in some hipster bar with some dude that’s currently too drunk to get up and walk away, much less do anything else interesting to you this evening. O_o
“Playing Parcheesi at 2am” is not an euphemism for sex.
To be continued in Part 02: “Communication & Congruence“.