Mind Your Own Business (MYOB)

“Mind Your Own Business” was the lesson of the day on this week’s “Jersey Shore”. 😀

There are eight housemates. 4 guys and 4 gals.

Guys: Ronnie, Mike, Pauly, Vinny

Gals: Sammi, Jenni, Nicole, Angelina

Ronnie is dating Sammi. Nicole is dating some guy you hear on the telephone. Jenni and Angelina appear to be dating nobody.

The other three guys are MVP (Mike, Vinny, Pauly) and they’re Free Agent Hunters. They pull whatever chicks they can on any given day.


Ronnie would actually be the King of the Hunters, except he sold out to Sammi.

Ronnie utilized play #A-1 in the handbook and told Sammi “I love you”, guaranteeing easy sex whenever he wanted it or whenever he struck out at the club or didn’t pull a hawter chick.

Unfortunately, that play also makes you susceptible to the female thinking that she can tell you what you can and can’t do with your life, so Sammi laid down the law and Ronnie’s restrictions included (but were not limited to):

  • Talking to other girls
  • Holding Hands with other girls
  • Getting Numbers from other girls
  • Dancing with other girls
  • Grinding with other girls
  • Drinking Alcohol off the bodies of other girls
  • Making Out with other girls
  • Having Sex with other girls

What this meant, of course, was… nothing at all.

So long as Sammi wasn’t there to see it, Ronnie was doing anything he felt like doing.

He was fine with “Creeping”, as they call it (Thanks to reader Nikki for the authentication) because he was hangin’ out with MVP and Bros Before Hoes was in FULL EFFECT, BOYEEEE!!! >:D

Unfortunately, Angelina was there also. Even though the other three girls didn’t like her this season OR last season, she still felt loyalty to them and told Ronnie she was going to rat him out to Sammi.

Ronnie promptly threatened her and that was the end of her thoughts about snitching.

The Secret Everybody Knows

So now, everything was locked down. Out of the 8 house members, 5 of them knew Ronnie was playing Sammi dirty. The four guys weren’t going to say anything because they expected the same courtesy if THEY had been the ones gettin’ some on the side.

Jersey Shore: Ronnie, Vinny, Pauly & MikeBesides the fact that they’re all friends, they were depending on each other to work as a unit to pull girls, so making themselves pariahs by ratting out a fellow Hunter was clearly not in their best interests.

Guys that know how to pull girls are also very good at making sure that YOU don’t pull any girls by lying and saying that you have wives and kids and diseases and whatnot, so it’s best to stay on the players’ good sides even if you don’t like them as people or agree with their methods or tactics.

Instead of taking the Angelina situation as a sign that he needed to tighten his game up and keep his business ‘out the street’, Ronnie decided it would be fun to brag to Jenni about what he was doing with other girls.

Under normal circumstances, this would have been a good idea because Jenni’s pretty much like a dude in that she can listen to what Ronnie’s saying, laugh about it, give him a pound (dap, handshake, hi-five) and keep it to herself as if she never heard it.

“Normal Circumstances” would be when the girls that you’re close to and are actually friends with DO NOT LIVE WITH AND SPEND TIME WITH the girl(s) you’re using as backup, fail-safe sex. “Normal” would ALSO be when nothing you did was going to be captured on videotape so that the Easy Sex girl could watch it and find out that her supposed homegirls let her get used the entire time and never told her.

So now, 6 people out of 8 know what time it is… Everybody except Nicole and the victim, Sammi.

Jenni informs Mike that Ronnie told her that he had been creeping. This causes Mike to feel free to spill ALLLLLL of the beans about what Ronnie’s been doing every time the girls aren’t around. This had two MAJOR effects. Now, it was on videotape that Jenni knew that Ronnie didn’t dis Sammi just once, but basically every chance he got. Also, Mike didn’t check whether Nicole had known, which she didn’t, so now 7 out of 8 people in the house knew Sammi was getting played.

Once Nicole found out, she stepped to Ronnie and said she was going to snitch. Ronnie threatened her with lying to her boyfriend and saying she was ho-ing in Miami and that was the end of that. >:D

So here’s the lineup at this point:

  • Ronnie: Perp = Silent
  • Mike: Guy = Silent
  • Pauly: Guy = Silent
  • Vinny: Guy = Silent
  • Jenni: Trustable Female = Silent
  • Angelina: Threatened = Silent
  • Nicole: Threatened = Silent
  • Sammi: Victim = Clueless

This is where it all fell apart because of the unusual circumstances. Nicole started feeling guilty about condoning Ronnie’s actions as well as supporting & enabling them by not telling Sammi what she knows. Jenni didn’t want to look bad on videotape when the show actually aired as someone who let her supposed homegirl get used.

Everybody else was cool with it.

The Letter

So.. The brainiac solution that Nicole & Jenni came up with was to type up an “anonymous” letter to Sammi, snitching on everything that Ronnie did behind her back. Even more intelligently, they decided to leave the letter in her drawer, clearly indicating that one of the 8 roommates placed it there.

hmmmmmmm… Let’s see if we can figure out who might have left that letter…

  • Ronnie: Victim = Nope
  • Mike: Guy = Nope
  • Pauly: Guy = Nope
  • Vinny: Guy = Nope
  • Jenni: Friend of Sammi = Maybe
  • Angelina: Enemy of Sammi = Maybe
  • Nicole: Friend of Sammi = Maybe
  • Sammi: Recipient = Nope

So.. Their “anonymous” letter wasn’t very anonymous, was it? 😀 All they really did was implicate either one, two or all three of the girls in the house as having ratted out Ronnie. They counted on there being 7 suspects, but there were only 3.

Jersey Shore: Jenni, Sammi, Nicole & AngelinaThey also thought they were going to be slick because Angelina was the only girl that actually SAW Ronnie hooking up with multiple chicks at the first club. In fact, this was the excuse that Jenni used to say that she didn’t write the letter. How would SHE know what happened at that club when she went home in the same cab with Sammi and Nicole before any of it happened?

Unfortunately, although that cleared her with Sammi, she wasn’t clear from Ronnie because he knew that a) he told Jenni himself and b) he had already threatened Angelina. It got even worse for Jenni because she had dictated the letter to Nicole, and included the word “wisely”, which Ronnie happens to know isn’t included in Nicole’s vocabulary.

Also, Jenni should have known she was going to have to take the blame for this letter because she was the only female that hadn’t been threatened. Ronnie considered her trustworthy, so he had told her about his hookups himself. Angelina & Nicole were both on notice. Regardless of whomever TYPED the note (Nicole), nothing was going to happen at all without Jenni backing the play.

On top of that, the scapegoat lived with them too. You can’t say “It must have been Angelina because she was the only one that could have seen Ronnie at the first club” and not expect Sammi to step to Angelina and say “I think you wrote it because this and that”.

As soon as Angelina would have been under pressure, she would have known that Sammi was going to tell Ronnie she thought Angelina was the culprit, which lines her up for the retribution that Ronnie promised her if she snitched. Threatened with that, she’s going to say “Nope.. It wasn’t me, but they told me they were both going to do it together” because it’s better to have Jenni & Nicole mad at her than having Ronnie mad at her for thinking she went back on their arrangement.

Best Laid Plans

So now, let’s see how this plan worked out as far as how Ronnie and Sammi feel about each of their roommates…

Ronnie Sammi
Mike Cool Mad
Pauly Cool Mad
Vinny Cool Mad
Angelina Cool Mad
Jenni Mad Mad
Nicole Mad Mad

So… If Jenni & Nicole would have minded their own business, Sammi would have been cool with them for the entire show and then mad at them after she saw the tape. Meanwhile, Ronnie would have been cool with them for the entire show and then cool with them after he saw the tape.

After they pulled this stunt, Ronnie’s mad at Jenni & Nicole for snitching and Sammi’s mad at Jenni and Nicole for having information about what Ronnie had been doing for so long without telling her.

On top of that.. BOTH Ronnie & Sammi are mad at them for not fessing up that they did it. All 6 of the other housemates are claiming they had no knowledge of Ronnie’s actions AND they’re all claiming that they didn’t type up and hand-deliver this message to her drawer inside a secured MTV filming location.

What SHOULD they have done? \o/

Unfortunately, Jenni & Nicole were in the bad position of being similarly friendly with both people in a relationship. Normally, people are more friendly with one person than the other one so the choice is clear. Let’s look at what would have happened under normal circumstances:

Mike, Pauly & Vinny would have stayed shut because Bros Before Hoes.

Jenni would have stayed shut because she’s cool like that and wouldn’t have had “looking bad on television” looming over her and influencing her decisions.

Both Angelina and Nicole would have agreed not to rat on Ronnie when they were talking to him in the club and then she would have told Sammi as soon as they were physically clear of Ronnie (not living in the same house).

Being that they WERE all stuck in the same house together, Jenni and Nicole should have realized that you have to choose a side and stick with your decision.. ride it out.


As soon as Ronnie told Jenni what he did and she didn’t go straight to Sammi, Jenni was guilty in this scenario. As soon as Nicole heard from Mike what Ronnie did and didn’t go straight to Sammi, Nicole was guilty in this scenario. “I told you eventually, after Ronnie ****** you several times, but still, I told you before the entire show finished filming” doesn’t absolve you from anything at all.

Both gals stated that their reasons for telling Sammi what was happening was that they would have hoped if it had been THEIR boyfriends that had been cheating, their homegirls would have told them. Also, they said they didn’t want to hurt her, lose her friendship and look like they never told her…

THEN… After Sammi found the letter, neither Jenni nor Nicole wanted to LOOK LIKE THEY TOLD HER. O_o .. They both DENIED being the one that wrote the letter. What sense does that make? 😀

For That, they could have stayed shut… Ronnie could have kept hooking up with girls at the club and then coming home to hop in bed with Sammi and the girls would have looked poorly in Sammi’s eyes when they finally saw the show. Their plan failed to make them look good in ANY light and the only chance they had to stand up and say “We wanted to tell you, Sammi. You’re our friend and you didn’t deserve the treatment you were getting! :O”, they both elected to say “Nope!.. Wasn’t me!”.


Sometimes, it’s best to Mind Your Own Business. If you can’t do that, the time to speak up about something is when you find out about it. If you’re not going to speak up, then just go with the flow and recognize that you’ve been dragged into something you’d rather not be involved in.

As soon as Ronnie told Jenni what he did and she laughed about it with him, Sammi was going to see that on the tape. As soon as Mike told Jenni all the rest of the stuff that Ronnie did, that was on tape too. Even the times they THOUGHT about telling her, yet didn’t, went right on the tapes. At some point, there’s no way to absolve yourself from being labeled an accomplice. Refusing to own up to writing the letter is only going to make you look WORSE and not better.

If you find yourself in a situation where you’re about to learn more about a situation between two people than you’re comfortable with knowing, you essentially have three choices:

1) Don’t get involved at all and walk away when people are talking about other people.

2) Decide you’re going to keep the secret and take the hit when/if the person it’s about finds out that you knew and didn’t tell them.

3) Decide you’re going to snitch and take the hit when/if the person it’s about names YOU as the source of the information.

As soon as you decide you’re going to hear the information, you need to accept the fact that somebody’s going to be mad at you if you admit knowing about it at all. It might even be BOTH PEOPLE. In this case, Sammi’s so stuck on being in a relationship with Ronnie that she’s already doing her wishy-washy style of saying “IT’S OVER” and then discussing “it” more. She’ll probably end up mad at Jenni for making her fully aware that her man isn’t following the rules she laid down for him. Whether she sees reality or believes her own fantasy, she apparently has no intention of stopping hooking up with Ronnie (well, at least until she sees the actual tapes of how he was gettin’ biz at the clubS! HAHAHA), so all that letter did was make her aware that everybody else was aware that she intends to remain firmly perched atop Ronnie’s DILZNICK, regardless.

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  1. Bill – nice job. When I saw previous episodes, I couldn’t believe Nicole and Jenni were really going to write that silly letter. My friends and I did stupid *ish like that in what…the FOURTH GRADE??!!!!

    Your final advice was right on point…MYOB!! And to be honest with you, if Sammi is too stupid to see that Ronnie is playing her, who would want to feel sorry for her? That’s why Ronnie keeps playing her. I believe he really cares for her…but p**** is p**** – I mean c’mon…he drinks like a damn FISH…does she REALLY think he’s being faithful at the club? Especially when her dumb arse SENT him out to the club. Did she really expect him to stay home and snuggle when he could be out getting his freak on? Yeah, I’m hard on other women…half the ish we complain about is our own fault. They say God looks out for babies and fools. Well I’ll help with the babies, but the fools are on their own. MYOB and know that Ronnie’s indiscretions will come out on their own.

    1. Thanks, Calandra. 🙂 You bring up some good points..

      First of all.. Yes, this “I’m going to leave a note for someone to find” ish is most definitely 3rd-5th grade material, translating to approximately 12 years of age or less. It’s right up there with “Go tell your friend for me that I like her”.

      Second.. It really is too late sometimes to MYOB. That instinct has to kick in immediately. You have to either tell someone “I don’t want to hear it” or “I’m not going to say anything about this one, but I’m not going to carry your weight for you so don’t do this garbage in front of me anymore or I’m telling” or SOMETHING that indicates that you’re not down with the plan and fully on-board with the conspiracy.

      The only one that’s not at fault here is Nicole, because she only heard about it because Mike was running his mouth after Jenni told him that she knew (which she did, because Ronnie had already told her and they had laughed and joked about it together). Everyone but Nicole was told because they were down with Ronnie to some degree. Jenni was his trusted homegirl and Angelina was hangin’ with the boys at the clubs.

      Jenni tried to get slick because of Nicole’s feelings of guilt, getting her to type the letter so she could be complicit. You think Jenni doesn’t know how to type? 😀 That was just so Nicole could get her hands dirty and couldn’t say Jenni did the whole thing.

      It was also jacked up because Nicole had already been threatened with what was going to happen if she ratted on Ronnie. She was under a lot of pressure she probably never felt before and made the poor decision to follow Jenni’s lead and write the letter to Sammi.

      Third.. They shouldn’t have said anything at all because Ronnie’s game had been tight. According to Sammi, she was in an exclusive relationship with him. According to Sammi, Ronnie was following all the rules she had set out for him. If he was slick enough to do his dirt on the DL, it really wasn’t any of the rest of their places to tell on him. PLUS.. The threat he had over Nicole was that he was going to tell her boyfriend that she was kickin’ it with a bunch of dudes in Miami, which she wasn’t, but there was no way her boyfriend was going to be able to tell that. He would have sabotaged Nicole’s relationship just like Nicole was sabotaging his. She didn’t want that to happen, so she stayed shut.

      Without them ratting, Ronnie would have skated the entire season without getting caught.. until the reunion, which occurs after they’ve all seen the tapes! HAHAHA 😀

      Fourth.. Ronnie keeps “playing her” for the reasons you stated. He really likes her, cares about her, loves her, whatever, but that’s no reason for him not to hook up with other chicks that he physically enjoys. According to how the edited the show, he didn’t do anything physical with the chicks other than making out with them and dancing, but the only reason he ended up in bed with Sammi each night is because the rest of the housemates dragged him into a cab each night and when he got home, he had nothing better to do than go lay down with her.

      Fifth.. He seems to drink on consecutive nights to the extent of not remembering what happened the day before. If that’s the case, all you can say is “I don’t remember what I did”. You can’t say “I definitely didn’t hook up with any chicks last night”. It’s common sense. No Memory is No Memory. Sammi was willing to accept “I don’t know what happened last night” and still be in a relationshp with him, so she really didn’t care WHAT he did. She SAID she cared, but she didn’t really, because she kept accepting incomplete reports.

      Jenni & Nicole should have thought about that before planting that note. For some people, ignorance truly IS bliss. In fact, receiving the note made things worse for her because up until then, she could claim to everyone that she was still with Ronnie because she had no idea what he was doing. Once she got the note and all the guys were playing the proper “I don’t know”, “I’m not sure”, “I was drunk”, “I was doing my own thing”, “I don’t remember”, “I didn’t see that” lines and then all the girls were like “I didn’t write the note” and the note STATED that several people in the house were aware of the situation, Sammi knew that everybody knew she was getting played and she’d have to “break up” with Ronnie to save face, even though she has no intentions of breaking up with him because she has nothing else to do with her life.

      Sixth.. When given the choice of drinking at a Miami club or staying in bed with Sammi, the obvious choice is going to the club. All that snuggle stuff gets knocked off during DOWNTIME.. not PRIMETIME. There are about 12 hours in the day when the club isn’t open when he could be laying around BS’ing with Sammi. He asked her if she wanted to go, she said “No”, he said PEACEBITCH! and broke north with no delay. Get a clue. Buy a vowel.

      Another issue is everyone’s lack of surprise when she mentioned Ronnie making out with other chicks. If Ronnie hadn’t been ‘cheating’, they should have been like “AWW HELLZ NAW, HE DIDN’T DO *ANY* OF THAT!!! :O” haha Instead, Vinny said he didn’t know, Pauly copped out to seeing Ronnie dancing with girls because they were all dancing with girls, but denied seeing anything else, and Mike laughed right in Sammi’s face. NOBODY acted like the concept of Ronnie messing around with other chicks was strange to them at all.

      I’m glad people are getting to see this with their own eyes. I know it happens to guys too, but women are incredibly susceptible to brainwashing themselves out of seeing the truth. The truth is rather inconvenient sometimes… The only two choices Sammi has are a) to break up with Ronnie for real, or b) Realize that he’s going to do whatever he wants when she’s not around him and honestly live out the relationship she’s been living with this entire time, except she didn’t know everybody knew about it until now.

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