Chicks Are Beer (Altered States)

One of the major difficulties I have in trying to explain to women how men think is that they’re not men.

Things that are common sense or basic nature to guys, such as hooking up with a gal we’ve never seen in life before 5 minutes ago, just doesn’t register to most women in their understanding of reality.

Still, I enjoy TRYING to make it clear for women because if they don’t understand the basic premises that my articles rely on as a foundation, they won’t be able to receive posts like “Who Cares How Your Day Was? in the proper context to learn something and improve their lives.

Less Filling!… Tastes Great!

I was reminded of this because yesterday, I was asked if I liked how beer tastes.

In fact.. The taste of beer is practically irrelevant. The importance of beer is that it gets you high.

This can’t possibly be understood by someone who has never gotten high. Actually, a lot of you are thrown off right now, because in your limited understanding of life, you equate “high” with drug use. You’re not able to accept the term “high” to mean an altered state, so let’s use that term instead.

The point of beer is that it alters your state.. NOT that it tastes good.

People who never alter their state can’t possibly comprehend what this means or how it feels. This makes describing “altering one’s state” to someone that doesn’t experience it on a regular basis or hasn’t experienced it at all almost impossible.

If you don’t understand the concept of being in an altered state, you’re not going to see nasty-tasting beer as better than good-tasting Kool-Aid in any way, shape or form. To you, drinking beer is the same as drinking soda or juice, except it tastes worse and is of less nutritional value to your body.

I can’t explain to you the difference between being sober and being ‘buzzed’. I can’t explain the difference between being ‘buzzed’ and being ‘nice’. I can’t explain to you the difference between being ‘nice’ and being ‘wasted’. I can’t explain to you the difference between being ‘wasted’ and being ‘incapacitated’.

You see these states on reality shows, but they’re not going to make sense to you unless you’ve mentally been in that same situation. When Ronnie on ‘Jersey Shore’ comes home from the club and slaps five with all his boys and says [paraphrasing] “Now that I finished making out with multiple chicks at the club, I’m gonna go crawl in bed with Sammi, have sex with her and go to sleep next to her”, I understand how wasted he is. He’s not actually being a jerk.. He’s doing what seems like common sense to him during his currently altered state. People that don’t understand this judge him as if he drank Kool-Aid all night, made out with a bunch of Grenades and then hopped into bed with his so-called girlfriend, Sammi, completely sober and deliberately creepily.

Chick Are Beer

Similarly.. Women think of themselves as juice when they’re actually beer. The point isn’t how you taste, but rather how high we get when we’re around you.

This is why a lot of women are surprised when they’re so educated, accomplished & successful and their man gets caught cheating with some burger-flipping female from the local fast food restaurant. Did anybody care that she had no earning potential and/or had three kids? NOPE! πŸ˜€ The only thing that mattered was that she looked good and was DTF.

Just like the value of beer is that it can get you high, the value of a gal to hook up with is that she turns you on and you feel like having sex when you’re around her. You can drink all the apple juice you want and you’ll never feel buzzed. If your goal is to drink something or avoid dehydration, juice is the way to go. If your goal is to alter your state, beer is the way to go.

So women need to concentrate on the means their SOs use to alter their states if they want to understand what motivates guys to do what they do. Does your PhD turn him on? Nope. Your Lexus or your condo? Nope. Maybe you should buy a tight-fitting McDonald’s uniform and make sure you’re wearing it when he walks in the door from work. O_o

If you’re not altering his state, you’re leaving the door open for the next gal to capture his interest and hook up with your man. What YOU want is for him to say “This girl right here is FOYINE, but I’m gonna go home to MY girl because I know I’m about to have the time of my life, as usual. >:D”.

Pinot NoirMy friend Stephanie says “We are not beer, but rather a tall glass of fine pinot noir”. hehe That may very well be the case, but y’all need to be SOMETHING that makes guys’ lives more fantastic by your presence.

Yes.. I agree that women can be analogous to a wide range of alcoholic beverages.. Some that are smooth and sweet.. Some that sneak up on you and then in the morning, you’re like “WHAT THE HELL DID I DO LAST NIGHT? \o/”. It’s definitely important to categorize women properly so you don’t end up drinking beer on a night when you’re craving tequila.

Do I Look Fat?

The point, ladies, is that if some guy’s talking to you or trying to date you or trying to hook up with you, it’s not because some supernatural force caused him to interact with you. You get him high. Period. It might be your body, it might be your mind, it might be your face, it might be the way you walk, it might be the way you talk, it might even be the fact that you can code a website (not really, but I just wanted to give y’all Nerd-Chicks some hope). Whatever it is, it’s IMPERATIVE that you understand what your guy likes about you.

If he likes your flowing, wavy hair and you straighten it, you might could get dumped. If he likes how long it was and you cut it, you might could get dumped. If he likes how thick your body was and then you deliberately lose 20 pounds, you might could get dumped. If he likes how you stand up for yourself and then you decide to become complaisant because someone told you that’s what guys look for in gals, you might could get dumped. If he likes how you look in flannel shirts and construction boots and you come to see him in a dress with sandals, you might could not get laid that night.

It’s a tough row to hoe, but I’m going to keep on trying. πŸ˜€ Projecting female thought processes onto males and trying to figure out what we’re going to do will never work. Our minds are stimulated differently. The sooner you realize this, the more you’ll understand about men. The more you understand about us, the more you’ll be able to make educated decisions about your relationships.

When was the last time you saw a guy become mesmerized by a shoe store window display?
When was the last time you told a guy “I love you” and it made an immediate difference in how he acted?
When was the last time a guy asked you if he looked fat in this shirt?

When was the last time a guy was dating a burger-flipper from a fast food restaurant and cheated on her with a female CEO that he wasn’t sexually attracted to? πŸ˜€ .. Never… Buy a vowel. Get a clue.

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  1. Bill…I’m glad you added that “it is imperative to understand what your guy likes about you.” Because before I read that, I kept thinking, “O LAWD, these women are going to go out and try to be beer!” Not only is it important to know what your man likes to “drink”, but to find out fairly soon. I’m an old married lady – 12 years and cursing…er, counting ;), and if I read your post and have to start wondering what my hubby drinks, I’m late and in trouble. Trust me, that was figured out waaaay before we even got married. Although the alcohol scale may have been a nice tool to use back then!

    I think one deterrent to women figuring out their man’s drink of choice is that they feel, “He should want me for me.” Well that’s true…so if your man likes beer, but you don’t want to be anything but wine, then you might want to start looking elsewhere, or be prepared when HE starts looking elsewhere, feel me? The idea is not to change who you are, but identify who you are and what you want (the same way you encouraged the guys to), then kick it with someone who likes the drink you offer. Isn’t that the key to real relationships anyway? Now true, we can’t know this info off the bat…no glass of wine goes in to a club looking for a wine drinker. But the trick is…start paying attention to this stuff early on in the relationship. Most people are so caught up in the “new guy/girl high” that they forget to pay attention to their surroundings. Then they wonder why stuff starts hitting the fan later on…the fact is they forgot to “buy the vowel” early on.

    I’m just sayin’…

    P.S. – Funny, I just remembered that when hubby and I were dating, I was reading the infamous Mars/Venus book. Too bad your blog wasn’t around then…it would have been much more entertaining reading! LOL

    1. See, Calandra… This is why you’re married 12 years and the next gal is hoping she doesn’t get kicked to the curb after 12 midnight. πŸ˜€

      That’s the whole point to relationships. Figure out who you are, what you’re looking for and what you’re offering and then make a go of it with someone who has compatible interests & goals.

      Instead of doing that, most people figure that by having the best job or wearing the best clothes/jewelry or knowing the latest dances or having the spinnin’est rims, they should be able to attract and keep people in their lives. It doesn’t work like that. Once they get over the flash, it’s off to kick it with the next flash. *POOF!*

      Also, β€œHe should want me for me” is exactly women’s downfall in these situations. Unfortunately.. “YOU” includes your body, your face, your hair, your demeanor, your attitude & how you carry yourself.

      Too many women take β€œWant me for me” to mean that they can be JERKS and the dude is still supposed to want to spend time with them. “YOU” is the entire package, ladies. Hopefully, you won’t have to figure that out the hard way, after your man stepped out the door for some ice cream, the chauffeur drove off and he never came back! πŸ˜€

      Dave cut the record down to the bone, and now they got me rockin’ on the microphone…

      1. “So take that and move back catch a heart attack
        Because there’s nothin in the world, that ‘Cee’ll’ ever lack…” That’s cause Cee knows what he’s drinking’! HA!

  2. Bill,
    Probably, other readers are move to the next article, i may a bit slow b’cos just knowing your blog and i just go through your past articles.. very interesting!.

    I was impress this line, “If he likes your flowing, rwavy hair and you straighten it, you might could get dumped. If he likes how long it was and you cut it, you might could get dumped. If he likes how thick your body was and then you deliberately lose 20 pounds, you might could get dumped. If he likes how you stand up for yourself and then you decide to become complacent because someone told you that’s what guys look for in gals, you might could get dumped. If he likes how you look in flannel shirts and construction boots and you come to see him in a dress with sandals, you might could not get laid that night.”

    huh!! (take my long..breath)..i have no idea about this and totally ..blank!!! ..stop for 5 minutes..

    i feel short of breath and suddenly i feel sore throat..what is men want from women. Should women be in accordance with the wishes and desires for her boyfriend only to defend her love , and than she sacrifice everyhting with the need to change her attributes?.

    I feel, for me (maybe not for others)if I had to follow these wishes,so it was not my best pretending in front of him while the real nature of my character he did not know me at all.

    Don’t you think that the girl is a liar and pretender? Just because of she have to understand what he likes and dislikes. Of cause i can tolerate for quiet sometime for the shake of our relationship but not all the time.

    How ’bout us? Do men understand what women desires for? Or else, ..He got Dumped because of his personality?

    1. Hey Marian. πŸ™‚

      First of all, I have to say that “might could” is improper English and I was using that as a joke about American slang, haha.. Properly said, it would be “If he likes your flowing, wavy hair and you straighten it, you could get dumped”, etc.

      As far as changing attributes, you have a good question. I’m not saying that women SHOULD conform to what their boyfriends like. I’m saying that you have to realize that there are physical reasons why he talked to you in the first place. If you change those, he might lose interest temporarily or permanently.

      Let’s say you like vanilla ice cream and a store sells vanilla ice cream and you buy it all the time. If that store stops selling vanilla and starts selling strawberry only, you might start going to a different store to buy your vanilla ice cream. The mistake the store made was thinking that you liked ice cream in general when, in fact, you liked the particular flavor of vanilla. Same thing if a woman has blonde hair when you meet her and then she decides to dye it black…

      I hear what you’re saying about ‘character’, but that’s assuming that he cares about her character to begin with. If you meet a gal and she’s kind and friendly during dating but then becomes mean when you’re finally boyfriend/girlfriend, that might not be what he signed on for and he might dump her. “For Better Or For Worse” only applies to marriages.. And even half of marriages end in divorce…

      I suppose it’s valid to call a woman a pretender if she keeps her hair blonde because that’s the way her boyfriend likes it, even though she’d like to dye her hair black. Unfortunately, she’s going to have to choose what’s important to her… I’m sure her boyfriend would enjoy having sex with six other girls besides her, but he had to give that up in order for her to call herself his girlfriend. You can call HIM a pretender for not having sex with the girls he really wants and jeopardizing his relationship to one woman.

      If a guy doesn’t understand (or doesn’t care) what you desire, it makes perfect sense for you to dump him. That’s why it’s in his best interest to pretend to listen when you’re talking to him.

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