Over the last couple of weeks, no fewer than three of my homegirls (and probably more that I’m not aware of) have dumped a guy because of his personality.
I’m always amused by these stories because I like to consider the reverse situation and whether I’d stop kickin’ it with a chick for the same reasons.
Why You Got Dumped
I mean, I’ve joked before that I wouldn’t date a chick that doesn’t use a Mac, but I wasn’t talking about FOYINE chicks. If she was just aiiite-looking, she most definitely might could get dumped for showing up with a PC laptop. 😀
However, for the most part, removing girls from the roster because of personality flaws is almost unheard-of. Like Spike Lee said in “She’s Gotta Have It”: “You don’t throw away a Rolls Royce because it has a dent in it”.
Off the bat.. At least, here, in NYC.. You expect chicks to come fresh out the box with somewhere between a little and a lot of KRAY-ZAY in them. The best you can do is date through references from friends you already know and trust to tell you the real deal on the new gal.
The question isn’t whether she’s crazy or not, but rather HOW crazy she is and whether you can handle that much KRAY-ZAY in your life or whether you’re WILLING to. If you restricted your interactions to only women you thought were perfectly sane… well, that’s just not a good idea. I don’t even want to think about that kind of lonely existence. 😀
So it’s amusing/funny to me when guys will be bringing, say, 75% of what a woman’s looking for in a relationship and then one personality kink ends up being the last straw that makes her unable to date him.
I’m more from the Voltron school of dating.
Instead of trying to get 100% out of one chick, you kick it with several women that bring different qualities to the table so when you combine your experiences with them, you end up with one great girlfriend… and simultaneously, no girlfriend at all. >:D
The concept of ditching a 75% chick over a personality flaw doesn’t register to me because I’m thinking “I only have 25% more to go for VOLTRON! :D”
Of course I realize they’re not trying to do this and are in fact trying to put all their eggs in one basket, so that basket needs to be EXACTLY what they want or they feel like bailing out and looking for a better basket.
A lot of guys do the same thing.. The ones that are looking for relationships and wives and whatnot. If they meet a gal at the club, it’s cool. If they meet a gal drunk off her ass, basically lap-dancing some dude over in the corner, it’s NOT cool. 🙂
I’m sure some guys have dumped gals like “Yo… Can you BELIEVE she’s a….. REPUBLICAN??? :/”
I personally can’t see myself giving a flying **** what a gal I’m physically attracted to thinks about politics or who she voted for. Most likely, I’m only pretending to listen to her anyway, so I imagine her political opinions becoming an issue for me.
Depending on how close I am to getting on, I might even tell her I *AGREE* with her! 😀 haha Business. Is. Business. >:D
Another problem to look out for is that women’s emotions can block them from feeling like hooking up with you. Neva Dat, Sunn.. Neva Dat!.. This is to be avoided at all costs. I realize that this doesn’t make any logical sense. It’s not like guys go “Can. You. Believe. She didn’t take out the trash??? Now I don’t feel like tappin’ that azz! :(“….
hmm… That’s kinda catchy! 😀
“If you don’t take out the trash
Then she won’t give up the ass”
That’s pretty good! That’s kind of like “No Justice?.. No Peace!” haha I should be a speechwriter for Women’s Lib or something! 😀
Anywayyyy… Let this be a lesson to you, fellaz… Women actually LISTEN to what you’re saying and they actually CARE ABOUT IT, too! Instead of taking your chances at saying the wrong thing, you’re way better off saying nothing at all.
If you’re not SURE she’s not from Utah, don’t crack any polygamy jokes.
Don’t compliment your Asian homegirl on her Chinese outfit because she might be Korean.