Dumped For Personality?

Over the last couple of weeks, no fewer than three of my homegirls (and probably more that I’m not aware of) have dumped a guy because of his personality.

I’m always amused by these stories because I like to consider the reverse situation and whether I’d stop kickin’ it with a chick for the same reasons.

Why You Got Dumped

I mean, I’ve joked before that I wouldn’t date a chick that doesn’t use a Mac, but I wasn’t talking about FOYINE chicks. If she was just aiiite-looking, she most definitely might could get dumped for showing up with a PC laptop. 😀

However, for the most part, removing girls from the roster because of personality flaws is almost unheard-of. Like Spike Lee said in “She’s Gotta Have It”: “You don’t throw away a Rolls Royce because it has a dent in it”.

Off the bat.. At least, here, in NYC.. You expect chicks to come fresh out the box with somewhere between a little and a lot of KRAY-ZAY in them. The best you can do is date through references from friends you already know and trust to tell you the real deal on the new gal.

The question isn’t whether she’s crazy or not, but rather HOW crazy she is and whether you can handle that much KRAY-ZAY in your life or whether you’re WILLING to. If you restricted your interactions to only women you thought were perfectly sane… well, that’s just not a good idea. I don’t even want to think about that kind of lonely existence. 😀

So it’s amusing/funny to me when guys will be bringing, say, 75% of what a woman’s looking for in a relationship and then one personality kink ends up being the last straw that makes her unable to date him.

VoltronI’m more from the Voltron school of dating.

Instead of trying to get 100% out of one chick, you kick it with several women that bring different qualities to the table so when you combine your experiences with them, you end up with one great girlfriend… and simultaneously, no girlfriend at all. >:D

The concept of ditching a 75% chick over a personality flaw doesn’t register to me because I’m thinking “I only have 25% more to go for VOLTRON! :D”

Of course I realize they’re not trying to do this and are in fact trying to put all their eggs in one basket, so that basket needs to be EXACTLY what they want or they feel like bailing out and looking for a better basket.

A lot of guys do the same thing.. The ones that are looking for relationships and wives and whatnot. If they meet a gal at the club, it’s cool. If they meet a gal drunk off her ass, basically lap-dancing some dude over in the corner, it’s NOT cool. 🙂

I’m sure some guys have dumped gals like “Yo… Can you BELIEVE she’s a….. REPUBLICAN??? :/”

I personally can’t see myself giving a flying **** what a gal I’m physically attracted to thinks about politics or who she voted for. Most likely, I’m only pretending to listen to her anyway, so I imagine her political opinions becoming an issue for me.

Depending on how close I am to getting on, I might even tell her I *AGREE* with her! 😀 haha Business. Is. Business. >:D

Emotional Issues

Another problem to look out for is that women’s emotions can block them from feeling like hooking up with you. Neva Dat, Sunn.. Neva Dat!.. This is to be avoided at all costs. I realize that this doesn’t make any logical sense. It’s not like guys go “Can. You. Believe. She didn’t take out the trash??? Now I don’t feel like tappin’ that azz! :(“….

hmm… That’s kinda catchy! 😀

“If you don’t take out the trash
Then she won’t give up the ass”

That’s pretty good! That’s kind of like “No Justice?.. No Peace!” haha I should be a speechwriter for Women’s Lib or something! 😀

Anywayyyy… Let this be a lesson to you, fellaz… Women actually LISTEN to what you’re saying and they actually CARE ABOUT IT, too! Instead of taking your chances at saying the wrong thing, you’re way better off saying nothing at all.

If you’re not SURE she’s not from Utah, don’t crack any polygamy jokes.
Don’t compliment your Asian homegirl on her Chinese outfit because she might be Korean.

D-OH!   >_< billcammack.comBill Cammack email subscriptionBill Cammack RSS feedfacebook.com/BillCammacktwitter.com/BillCammackmyspace.com/reelsolidtv

Join the Conversation


  1. The Voltron thing is hilarious. I noted that the 4 “pieces” were arranged tail up and that center Voltron’s hands were ready for action. And I studied how each piece became a part of an arm or a leg. Now I’m grappling with you just having that handy and snapping a photograph with your camera and you’re making ( or I’m making) an analogy to IT being that easy. If it were that easy then of course! personality woudn’t matter. The pieces are shiny on the table and they click together and can just as easily unclick. Perhaps they reinforce and strengthen when in place, or just make the central piece look better. But there’s always a replacement piece handy.
    And, as usual, Kemosabe, you are right. Had the dude said nothing at all I’d just be retuning from Vegas instead of dumping him for his insistence on a frequent flier four way (conferencing me in with ***** AFTER I told him I didn’t do FF) Push the eject button, his personality is too controlling!!!!

  2. Ryan, do you mean the eject button gets stuck and one can’t use it, despite trying(against better judgment,) or that it becomes too handy; you barely touch it and psh! out they fly?

  3. I’ll take the first eject button example, other forces keep one from hitting eject even thought it’s super obviously they need to punch it! All the signs are there! 🙂

  4. great post.

    I must say that in all my past experince of droping girls from the roster never once have I thought this girl is fine but she’s gotta go because of her whack personality.

      1. Hm….. Didn`t you write many times that looks just get us a foot in the door, but it is our personalities that give us the staying power? Or am I confusing things here?

  5. Hey fishing rod!! Yep, he said it! I guess he’ll now say in Solomon fashion that both points are valid. And then he’ll point out the difference in getting raps and building authentic relationships. While making us laugh with really great insights.
    I’d better get back to my site, whatwomenweave.com and see if anyone has busted ME for talking out of both sides of my mouth!!!

    1. Fishingrod.. Yes.. That’s what I said.

      Unfortunately, your personalities only get you staying power IF dude gives a flying **** about your personality to begin with.

      What I meant by “More gals get raps IN SPITE OF their personalities than BECAUSE of them” is that as long as a chick is FOYINE, guys will overlook her personality flaws so they can have sex with her.

      A gal can be dumb as a box of rocks, have no common sense and no earning potential and a guy will STILL date her if he likes how she looks and he enjoys hooking up with her.

      Personality comes into play when guys are looking for companions as opposed to sex partners. You want a woman you can leave talking to a crowd of your friends and she’s not going to make you look like an idiot for selecting her. You need someone who will talk with you instead of nagging you. You need someone that can use her brain correctly.

      That’s why women get selected for LTRs. Either the guy doesn’t care about her personality at all and so long as the sex is good, he’ll keep her around.. or she’s been revealed to be the cream of the crop due to her common sense, mentality, kindness & way of being.

      * Of course, said chick is going to have to have been FOYINE also or else he would never have kicked it to her and found out what a stellar human being she is! 😀

  6. “A gal can be dumb as a box of rocks, have no common sense and no earning potential and a guy will STILL date her if he likes how she looks and he enjoys hooking up with her.”

    You know what, Bill? Sometimes I get real cranky when I think how easy you guys have it. I mean, it’s not that I am unable to enjoy the sight of a hot guy with a nice butt and a six-pack. It is visually pleasing, yes, but does it turn me on in a way that makes me overlook personality flaws? No way. A beautiful, manly voice would be a much bigger turn-on. But if the guy in question makes just one stupid remark in that beautiful, manly voice, all excitement would be gone in an instant.

    Sometimes I think this is the secret reason why women get upset when they find out their guys are looking at porno magazines. At least it is MY secret reason: It’s not moral objections, it is pure envy. I wish my sexuality was that simple. 🙂

    1. That is the fundamental diffrence between men and women. just as hard as it is for women to over look personality or lack there of it is equally as hard for us men to deal with a female who does not posses qualities that are visually pleasing to us despite her personality.

      A friend of mine put it best she said “men fall in love with their eyes and women fall in love with their ears”.

      1. That’s a good point, too, man.

        For women, a guy says/thinks the wrong thing and he’s out the door, no matter how good he looks.

        For guys, a gal can say anything she wants, intelligent or otherwise, and she still won’t be able to get IN the door or STAY in the pocket without him being physically attracted to her, and that attraction doesn’t necessarily lead to exclusivity.

        She’s just one of the chicks that “could get it”. >:D

    2. I hear you.. It really *IS* that simple. 🙂

      Porno Mags or Videos are an excellent example. There’s never… *NEVER* any emphasis on what a woman says or thinks as the basis of attraction. it doesn’t make any difference one way or the other. If she’s a Rocket Scientist, that’s nice and all, but is she HAWT??? >:D There are lots of chicks that are on welfare or even have no earning potential at all that have no problem getting dates because nobody requires them to be smart or rich. It just doesn’t matter. In the pornos, it’s only added in as a fetish or a side note.. “I screwed this hawt chick that HAPPENED to be a librarian”, etc. The “being a librarian” really has nothing to do with anything at all.

      That “one stupid remark” thing you’re talking about is what prompted me to write this article. I just find it really funny how women can be turned off so quickly by finding out what a guy really thinks.

      Unfortunately for y’all, guys already know this, so they lie to you to make sure you keep givin’ it up. It’s a simple system.. Make sure she stays happy so she keeps making YOU happy.

      It’s also one of the reasons why it’s so obvious to me that monogamy is unnatural. I’m sure you wouldn’t be able to find a guy that only watches pornos of ONE “actress”. 🙂 If guys aren’t going to be faithful to the kind or type of chick they’re physically turned on by in magazines or films, what makes women think that same guy is going to be only attracted to HER?

      Are there guys that ARE monogamous and LOOKING FOR an exclusive relationship? Of course. It’s just that y’all can’t afford to assume that off the bat. Some dudes are just adding chicks to the roster. >:D

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.