Dating vs. Hooking Up [Hunters, Part 11]

ok… Last we left off, in “How To NOT Get A Date”, our hero Vinny had kicked game to a girl that shakes her ass for money in a club.

Basically, what Vinny received from the chick was a number to get him out of her face. Women don’t enjoy conflict, which is why there are more guys fighting in the UFC than… ok… There are ZERO women fighting in the UFC, but they have a few women fighting each other on wack promotions like Showtime Strikeforce and Bodog and other low-level garbage like that.

The point is that women in general avoid conflict, so if you step to them and request a number, they’re very likely to give you a fake number so that by the time you find out that they juked you, you’re not standing right in front of them anymore and they don’t have to deal with you if you catch an attitude about it.

You would think she would just say “I don’t feel like kickin’ it to you, so you can’t have my number”, but it doesn’t work like that. Pulling a chick’s number doesn’t indicate that you’re any closer at all to getting laid by her.

In fact, even *I* have a fake number. >:D That’s not to avoid conflict, but because you can’t always tell off the bat if a chick is Kray-Zay, so it’s good to be able to screen and/or delete her if you need to.

Quality Women

So, Anyway… Vinny raps to this chick that shakes her ass for money in a club and she gives him her number. Meanwhile, Pauly gets a real rap to a real chick…

That’s not to say that strippers/dancers/hookers/whatever aren’t “real”. I’m saying that they’re *WORKING*. You are a MARK.. a JOHN.. a CUSTOMER. You represent a source of income for them. Your value is the amount of money you’re going to spend on them. Vinny kicked it to a worker. Pauly kicked it to a patron of the same establishment, a customer just like him, a gal that showed up to party, drink and meet guys. If it had been McDonald’s, Pauly would have kicked it to the girl on line in front of him and Vinny kicked it to the cashier or the chick working the fries.

The strange thing about this situation is that all of a sudden, BOTH GUYS are talking about how QUALITY the girls they met are. They call them “Two of the rarest roses in Miami”. The reason this is strange is that for the entire first season of ‘Jersey Shore’ and all the way up until this episode, they’ve been snapping on Ronnie for selling out and hooking up with Sammi and not pulling any other chicks for the whole season.

I don’t think this is a normal situation. Most of the time, when guys make a career out of picking up late-night drunk chicks to take back to the hot tub, that’s because that’s what they LIKE to do. I suppose it’s possible that while you’re playing the field, you could run into a gal that really makes you feel like settling down, but this was an interesting and unexpected turn of events which MTV didn’t bother to do any character development on. Nobody knows what prompted this change of heart because it was left out of the edit. Regardless.. Pauly & Vinny decide to erase their names from the [hookup] board…

Keeping Stats

Interestingly enough, this was the first time in the edit that MTV elected to show the hookup board. I’ve seen every second of every episode so far and wasn’t aware that the fellaz were keeping chalkboard stats on how many girls they bagged.

Keeping stats is strictly amateur, but you don’t realize that until you become a pro. Where do you stop counting? 5 chicks? 20 chicks? 100 chicks?…

I’m absolutely amazed when I run into dudes that can tell me with a straight face that they’ve had sex with 124 girls. I’m like “Dude… You’re still counting? o_O”

I mean, where do you keep stats like this, and why?.. Like Pauly said about dropping out of the game, “We’ve proven our point. We can get girls anytime we want to”. It’s like can you count how many times you ate dinner? How many times you drank water? Are you counting how many days you woke up in the morning? πŸ˜€

In the movie/documentary “American Pimp”, Bishop Don Magic Juan says [paraphrasing] “If you can count how much money you have, you don’t have much”. The same sentiment applies to women.

I remember even as a kid, when dudes would be rattling off all these names of chicks they hooked up with, I was like “How in the hell does this guy REMEMBER all these chicks’ names? πŸ˜€ .. Is he writing this down in a diary or something? There’s no way he actually remembers hooking up with all these chicks off the top of his head. Can you also tell me the location of every McDonald’s you’ve walked into over the last 5 years? I doubt it. πŸ˜€

Also.. If you’re going to keep stats, shouldn’t there be a parameter for the quality of the chicks? o_O It seems to me that as much as they’ve been snapping on Mike for being willing to hook up with ANY chick he could get his hands on and as much as they snapped on Vinny for hooking up with Nicole AND Angelina (Even though Pauly & Mike can’t say much, because THEY hooked up with Angelina before as well), that there would be some kind of quality threshold below which hooking up with a chick doesn’t count for your stats?

I wish we knew how that board worked! haha It should have been that the other guys definitely had to see the chick in question and then the non-participants got to decide whether the chick counted or not, like if she had been too unattractive or too desperate or too drunk, you don’t get any credit.

Anyway.. We all know that they removed their names so they didn’t look like whores if they got these quality girls to come to the house. Most guys like to hide the fact that they utilize women for sport & entertainment when they attempt to bag actual girlfriends. πŸ˜€

Dating vs. Hooking Up

So Pauly says about the girl he met: “She’s not a girl that you take home and smash one night… She’s like a Wifey type.. Some girl you bring home to your mother.” This means it’s time for the fellaz to take these gals out on dates.

This brings up all kinds of problems, as I mentioned in the previous post, but the main problem, again, is that Pauly kicked it to a real girl and Vinny didn’t.

Another problem is that dating is different from hooking up. If you’re the type of guy that can hook up without going on dates, you don’t bother with them. Dates are a waste of time, because you’re only going out with the chick to eventually get to the nitty-gritty. If you can get the sex without the date, \o/

This means that you don’t have any PRACTICE going on dates when you actually need it. This also means that you don’t have any practice REQUESTING a woman’s presence for dinner or a movie, for example.

Dating requires a little more skill than GTL and making sure you kick it to girls that are already drunk and sweating you for how you look. πŸ˜‰

For some odd reason which wasn’t explained in the edit, they decide to go on a double-date together with these new gals. This was probably Vinny’s idea and Pauly decided to back his play.

Pauly tells Vinny to ask his girl first for the obvious reason that Pauly knows damned well that HIS girl is going to go wherever he asks her to go because she’s feelin’ him. The only wildcard here is Vinny’s girl.

Vinny Up To Bat… Again!

So Vinny hops on the phone and calls this “dancer” chick. She picks up the phone and he informs her who’s calling and asks her what she’s doing tonight. That was BY FAR the best part of his entire rap to her. πŸ™‚ Simple, Effective, To-The-Point.

Her response is good too: “Tonight? I have no plans”. That’s the green light, right thurrrr. That’s the opening Vinny needed to let her know what he’d like for her to do with her evening.

Unfortunately, this is where Vinny permanently fumbles the rap:

“Um… If you want, my friend, um… I don’t know if you know my friend Pauly, with the spiky hair?… We might go to like a… little restaurant and then maybe… out afterwards?… He might um… call some girl, and… I need like a sympathy date, you know what I mean? ‘Cause I don’t wanna be left out, so… You know… If you wanna do me that… that favor?”

um…. WHAT? πŸ˜€

First of all, Vinny was clearly scared to death that she wouldn’t accept his invitation. Second, he didn’t sound like he REALLY wanted to go out with her…. A “Sympathy Date”? Could she “do him that favor”? WHAT? πŸ˜€

The point of getting a chick’s number is that YOU have plans about what YOU want to do with her. Her SPECIFICALLY. You aren’t calling her to be a fill-in because you happen to not have any random chicks available to you to go on a double date with your homeboy and “some girl”. “Some Girl”? haha Are you inviting “Some Girl” too?

I can’t tell, because it was a good edit, but they switch cameras between when he says “It’s Vinny” and “um.. What are you doing?”. They cover the bridge with audio of the chick saying “Hey! :)”. The only reason I wanted to bring that up is that they might have cut out part of the dialogue there, such as the girl saying “Vinny who?” and Vinny saying “The guy from the club last night blah blah blah” in order to refresh her memory.

If that’s the case, it’s also possible that amongst the myriad guys that kicked game to her the night before (just like happens to her EVERY night that she’s working), she wasn’t entirely sure who she was talking to. Maybe there were several dudes named Vinny that she met. Maybe she forgot some guys’ names from last night and was assuming she knew who was asking her out. We don’t know… What we DO know is that Vinny didn’t sound confident at all. He didn’t sound like he takes chicks out all the time and is inviting her out for what he knows damned well is going to be a good time for her.

In fact, he didn’t offer her *ANY* personal incentive to go out with him at all. Everything he said was “I need this” and “I need that” and “I don’t want to be left out” and “I need a sympathy date”. What about her? What’s SHE going to get out of it, other than an implied free meal at “a little restaurant” that you “like, might go to and then MAYBE go out afterwards”?

Hannle Yo Bidnezz

Step up to the ******* plate and tell her what you want.

“What’s up? It’s me. If you don’t have anything planned later, I’d like to buy you dinner.” That’s it. That’s all. Tell her what you want and then STFU.

If she’s interested, THEN you throw in that you have some more plans for the evening if it turns out that she wants to hang out with you after dinner. Case Closed. Problem Solved.

Everything’s included. What’s in it for you is that you get to spend time with her at dinner. What’s in it for her is that she gets to eat for free. The potential fringe benefit is that if both of y’all enjoy dinner together, you might do more fun / exciting / sexy stuff later.

DO NOT bring up your friend, Pauly.
DO NOT say you want to take her on a double-date as your first encounter outside of her JOB, where you kicked game to her in the first place.
DO NOT say that your friend is inviting “Some Girl”.
DO NOT ask her to come along so you don’t have to sit next to a blow-up doll at dinner.

In Fact… What Vinny said doesn’t make any sense at all. If you and your homeboy plan to go on a double-date and you can’t get a girl, you know what that means?… That’s right. YOU stay THE **** HOME, and your boy goes on a REGULAR DATE with HIS girl. There’s no such thing as “I don’t want to be left out, so could you do me the favor of coming on this double-date with me” because the DOUBLE part doesn’t even exist until both of youse procure females.

Bill CammackTo be fair, I invite women places all the time.

In fact, it’s extremely rare that I go anywhere at all without knowing which gal(s) I’m going to be spending time with.

That’s not “sympathy”. That’s called not taking any chances as far as whether I’m going to enjoy myself or not.

The wording is something to the effect of “I’m going to XYZ on such-and-such a day. You wanna come with?”. Period.

I want her to go. If she wants to go, it’s a wrap. If she doesn’t want to go, I have to call another chick, go by myself or not go at all.

I’m not going to be like “Well, um… you see… what had *HAPPENED* WAS.. I have to go to this thing, and.. it’s like in lower Manhattan on Tuesday evening and I was wondering if, maybe… I mean, if you didn’t have anything planned that night… I’m pretty sure I’m going to be bored to death if I have to hang out with the people on the Facebook invite list, so I was thinking that… well, you know… hanging out with you is USUALLY better than doing nothing at all, so I was wondering… if maybe…..”


Easy Come, Easy Go

So Vinny stumbles and bumbles his way through asking this chick out and she says “alright” and also hits him with an “ok, sweetheart” when he says he’ll call her a little later. This results in Vinny celebrating and breakdancing, similar to when your character wins a race in ‘Super Mario Kart’. Pauly invites his girl out as well and the double-date is ON and POPPIN’! πŸ˜€

They make a reservation for 4 at the restaurant.
They spend money on getting their hair freshly cut.
They spend money on new outfits specifically for tonight’s date.
They spend money on bouquets of flowers to give to the ladies.

So after all this, Vinny gets a call from the chick, where she hits him with another “Hey, Sweetheart! :D” and then proceeds to go “Hey.. Listen, um… I.. um.. yeah… I…” then they cut the video again, but basically, she’s informing Vinny that she won’t be coming with him to dinner tonight. She never actually SAYS that she’s not coming, so that must have gotten cut out with whatever other dialogue transpired between them on that call. Whatever she said, Vinny goes “Alright, I understand” and hangs up the phone on her.

A few things could have happened in between when she said “Yes” and when she said “No”.

She might have remembered who he actually was and decided that she didn’t actually want to go out with him.

She might have gotten a better offer, such as “Let me pick you up in the limo and take you to such-and-such expensive restaurant and then we’re going to a private party at a hotel bar” and was like “Later for this um, uh, er, we might, maybe” garbage.

She could have decided that staying home and watching television sounded like more fun than what Vinny had described to her.

She might have been contacted by the MTV staff and told that she needed to sign a release to go on the date with Vinny so that whatever happened on the date, MTV had the rights to broadcast it, and decided she wasn’t interested in that.

Whatever happened, the “double-date” turned into a single date. This is because Pauly’s girl actually wanted to spend time with him and Vinny’s didn’t give a flying ****.

To Fast-Forward.. Vinny sulks for a while, then gets on the phone and asks her to reconsider, to which she finally replies “I’ll see”, which Vinny takes to mean “I’ll see you there”. He gets happy again and gets dressed up to receive a no-show from the chick AS WELL AS her not picking up the phone next time he called, since, obviously, his number was showing up on Caller ID.

Luck vs. Practice

Basically.. The point is that asking women out on dates isn’t about luck and charity for you. It’s about having something she wants or being the type of person she wants to spend time with and then clearly offering her what she already knows she wants.

Even if you’re dressed the right way, acting the right way and saying the right things, there’s STILL no guarantee that you’re going to score a date with a chick that appears to be enjoying your company. Getting her attention is the BEGINNING of your process, not anywhere near the end, where you get to coast to the Nitty-Gritty.

Also.. You don’t practice for shooting bears by shooting rabbits. Picking up drunk & horny girls in a club that would have hooked up with any guy that asked them to isn’t practice for asking out a gal that really matters to you. You don’t get to suddenly be some dashing, debonaire guy that holds doors for women and puts down cloaks over puddles.

Dating is on-the-job training. If you don’t know any gals that you consider worth dating then select a few women you don’t even want to kick it to and buy them dinner. Take them to a movie. Walk with them in the park. Do SOMETHING so that when it’s time for you to ask a chick out FOR REAL, you sound confident that you’re going to show her a good time instead of sounding like “um, er, um, well, um…”.

You also need to stop kickin’ it to chicks at their jobs as if you met them at a friend’s apartment party. Your connection to her is customer-worker, not customer-customer. Whatever she has to tell you to keep her job is what she’s gonna say and then, when it’s time for the date, you’ll catch the brush-off in the privacy of your own home.

It’s better to drop her YOUR number and offer her the opportunity to call you if she likes. If she actually contacts you, you have a much better chance of actually getting a date out of it instead of a conversation filled with a bunch of “Sweethearts” and no action.

Just like the gals need to know what guys want from them, coughusuallysexcough, you have to know what you’re bringing to the table and what she’s looking for BEFORE you ask her out so you know the right things to tell her.

If you don’t know why some chick would want to go out with you, it’s highly likely that SHE doesn’t know why she’d want to go out with you either.

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  1. Bill,

    Wow man I don’t watch that show but from what you described the way he destroyed that rap sounded painful and hilarious! I mean I’m no dating pro but I know how to seal a deal easy as that, even if I didn’t expect results I would do better than that haha. You’re totally right about not hitting chicks in the work environment good write up man.

    1. Yeah man. The rap was entirely horrific. πŸ˜€

      He was doomed from the giddyap, though, because he kicked it to a chick that gets money from how she looks. If she’s attractive enough for someone to pay her for looking good, that means that EVERYBODY’S tryin’na get some of that and your game is gonna have to be STELLAR in order to get on.

      It also means that even if you get on, you’re not going to be able to block the other dudes who are offering her rides in limos and trips on yachts and flights to Paris and spending all types of money on her that you don’t have.

      That’s the business she’s in. There’s no reason she shouldn’t get money from YOU and ALL THE OTHER DUDES that are throwing it at her. That’s what she does every night she’s working. She gets tips from all the guys that like her and she gets hit on by all the guys that like her.

      There’s this chick, Nicole, on the same show that’s about (literally) 1/2 the height of the chick that Vinny tried to kick it to and she was getting hit on left and right at the bar. πŸ˜€ You can be sure that those dudes ALL tried to kick it to the “dancers” too… and the waitresses and any other females they saw that they thought they might be able to get some from.

      So, It’s a nice dream to kick it to strippers and all that, but unless you have a plan to provide them what all their other fanboys are going to provide them, you’re pretty much SOL. Chat her up for a minute. Avoid garbage lines like “I love you” and “I’m gonna tell all my friends I met my wife tonight” and other such GARBAGE that you saw work on girls in a Matt Dillon movie. Leave her your contact information and if she hits you, she hits you. If not, you go back to the club and check out her ass some more like you were before you decided to try to “wife her up”.

      1. Exactly! I mean “I love you” is like the absolute wackest line you can give a girl you just met. It’s like you said in the previous post you and her both know that’s B.S. and of course she’ll tell you she loves you too, you’re her source of income! whatever you like! haha

    1. hehe True That, Steve! πŸ˜€

      A lot of guys waste time throwing “I want to date you” game at hookup/jumpoff girls while the girls are yawning and wondering when dude’s going to get the physical show on the road! πŸ˜€

  2. After being forced to stay home these past couple of days due to injury i have finally been able to catch up on the jersey shore. I must saying watching vinny was very very hard its like he fumbled on 4th & 15 he should have never been in that situation he should have punted. or in plain english he should have found him self another girl.

    1. Sorry to hear about the injury, dude. Get well soon! πŸ˜€

      Watching that Vinny situation was EXTREMELY tough, for real… When he first told her “I love you”, I was like “What did he say? o_O” and I rewound that conversation soooooo many times, I was like “I can’t believe he just said that. I can’t believe he just said THAT!”…

      You’re right though. He was in a situation that would have been tough for a pro. There’s no way he could have known that, though.

      If you’re gonna rap to a girl that’s in the public eye like that, dancer, stripper, booth babe, chick on television, whatever, you have to be firing on all cylinders because everybody and their brothers are gonna be tryin’na tap that same chick.

      It’s not like you met some librarian chick that never gets raps and you invited her out for dinner. You’re talking to a gal that gets hit on FOR A LIVING! πŸ˜€ … If dudes aren’t hitting on her, she’s not making tips, AND she might get fired because her JOB is to make guys want her.

      The whole thing was doomed. His only actual chance would have been to step to her, tell her he thinks she’s really attractive and would like to get to know her if she’s interested, leave her his number and step to the left.

        1. lolol.. Librarian chicks get mad raps from whom? o_O …


          What’s the point of THAT? πŸ˜€

          You have a point though.. Librarians work in the daytime, and everybody knows THE FREAKS COME OUT AT NIGHT!!!

          HUT! HUT! HUT! HUT! (The *FREAKS* Come Out) >:D

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