Why She Won’t Call You Her Boyfriend

I wrote “Ladies: Why He Won’t Call You His Girlfriend” almost exactly two years ago, on September 29, 2008.

On September 02, 2010, a commenter on that post said:

You need an article on “Why She won’t call you her Boyfriend”. It’s 2010, you actually have strong independent women with options now honey. Until you prove you stand out in the crowd and DESERVE me… why would you have rights to claim me?

This is a BRILLIANT idea! 😀 I think I’ll talk about this right now.

Why Didn’t *I* Think Of This?

The first thing I thought when I read that comment was “HAHAHA What a FUNNY title for a post! :D”.

The second thing I thought was “How come *I* never thought of writing this article? o_O”

I thought about it for quite a few seconds.. Nowhere near an actual full minute, but for me, it was a LOOOONG TIME that I tried to figure out why I never wrote this article. I ended up not figuring anything out that I didn’t already know… I didn’t write this article because


I never thought to write this because nobody’s going to read it. Guys don’t give a flying **** about what women SAY.. It’s what women DO that makes it clear to us where we stand in our relationships.

I’m going to go straight to the top of the Google search for “Why She Won’t Call You Her Boyfriend”, because I don’t think this has ever been written about in the entirety of human history! 😀

Roses & Names

You know that saying: “You can call me anything you want.. Just don’t call me late for dinner”? That applies DIRECTLY to relationships. Titles are a female thing. Guys are interested in FUNCTIONALITY.

Let’s look at some examples:

Let’s say a girl calls you her boyfriend and then you hang out with her and she doesn’t have sex with you. That wasn’t very useful, was it? :/

Now.. Let’s say a girl DOESN’T call you her boyfriend (or anything else) and every time you hang out with her, you have a grand ole time! 😀 .. WHY IN THE HELL would you commiserate with your homeboys about a) the fact that she DIDN’T call you some useless title, and b) finding out ways from them that you could possibly GET HER to call you “Boyfriend”? hahaha It doesn’t make any natural sense. Nobody Cares!!! 😀

This is actually what I keep trying to tell women. A guy doesn’t expend any energy calling you “Girlfriend” and it doesn’t mean anything either. If a guy’s smart, he’ll keep calling you “Girlfriend” to your face in order to maintain your maximum functionality.

The only reason a guy would give a damn about a gal calling him her Boyfriend is if he intended to keep her indefinitely, like to get married to her or start a family with her.

Actually, another reason would be for his own benefit so he could look good to his homeboys or look successful to his co-workers. It’s always a feather in a guy’s cap that he bagged a particularly attractive female… Of course, this backfires on less-attractive women because it’s better for guys to keep it under the hat that they ‘settled’ for her.

I’m trying to think of a third reason, but I don’t think one exists. There really isn’t any value in what a female calls you because your title doesn’t determine her functionality. I’ve never been married, but I’ve damned sure gotten laid. Meanwhile, there are lots of guys that are married right now that can’t even get sex from their own wives.. What’s the point of THAT? \o/

How To Get Her To Call You Her Boyfriend

Hit it properly.

Lies, Lies, Lies, YEAH!!!

Another reason guys don’t care what y’all call us is that if it’s necessary, we’re just going to lie about it anyway to get our props. “See her over there?… I’m tappin’ that. :D”.

That’s pretty much all we have to do. Everybody knows that you’re societally pressured to deny ever having sex with ANY guy that hasn’t publicly claimed you exclusively, so as not to look like a ho, so even when you deny it, nobody’s going to believe you.

They’re going to act like they believe you and then pat the dude on the back and ask him how it was and if he’s finished with you yet so they can try to get on.

Independent Women

The commenter also mentioned Independent Women. She was absolutely right. There are way more successful, self-sufficient women now than there were before, and their numbers are increasing each year.

A guy would have to really be on top of his game to “prove that he stands out in the crowd and DESERVES her”.


Nobody Cares.

The only guys that care how much money a gal has are guys that need to use a gal for her money. o_O

I mean, you don’t want her to be BROKE (destitute), but other than being able to afford her 1/2 of the bar tab, who cares? \o/

Guys aren’t worried about meeting women with money because we’re trained from day 1 to GET JOBS and GET MONEY. Guys are not trained to specifically seek out women that can financially support them for dating purposes.

Similarly, guys are not concerned with dating women that are taller, stronger or more dangerous than they are because we’re trained from day 1 to handle our own security.

So, is it ADMIRABLE that a woman is independent & successful? HELLZ YEAH!!! 😀

Does it matter? No.

Rich Woman that doesn’t want to hook up with you = 🙁
Poor Woman that wants to hook up with you = 😀

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  1. Awesome post Bill,

    They really don’t see the big picture sometimes, in regards that a lot of those things don’t matter to us, we’re very simple creatures at the end of the day, all the way back to hunter and gatherer days haha

    Great read thanks. 😀

    1. Yeah man, haha That’s the problem I’ve been having for the last four years of writing my dating blog posts! 😀

      Things that are VERY SIMPLE and ultimate COMMON SENSE to guys just don’t register to some women EVAR in their entire lives. (evAr being way longer than evEr! HAHAHA)

      That’s why this topic never occurred to me. Women ask every single day of life how they can get a guy to be exclusive with them or love them or call them “Girlfriend” or marry them or whatever. I have *NEVER*, EVER fielded a question from a guy about how to get a girl to verbally commit to him.

      Women commit with their bodies. If they give it to you, you know what time it is. You don’t have to ASK THEM whether they love you, care about you or are physically attracted to you.

  2. First of all…independent does not necessarily mean rich or have money…just mean that we dont need to depend on anyone for anything emotionally..or materialistically…it just mean that we wanT you but don’t NEED you. Being rich or with money has nothing to do with it

    The reason u think the way u do is because u
    haven’t met that one special girl that captures ur heart and make u feel something u never felt before…just make a list with qualities of ur dream woman..then imagine one day u meet a girl with all those qualities (possibly Angelina Jolie or whoever) …functions just the way u want her to…plus the much needed chemistry….u wouldn’t want anyone else to have her but YOU…and couldn’t be happy with anyone else but her…that’s when u work ur butt off to make her feel the same about u ..to make her be exclusive with u (be her boyfriend) ..and you would feel good when she intoduce u to people (ESP other men) as her boyfriend …I know this from experience…when u meet someone u “Intended to keep her indefinitely, like to get married to her or start a family with her.e to get married to her” which I believe u will one day (mark my word for it) ..u will want a title with her.

    I’m confused, first you said “Actually, another reason would be for his own benefit so he could look good to his homeboys” then you said LIES LIES LIES
    “They’re going to act like they believe you and then pat the dude on the back and ask him how it was and if he’s finished with you yet so they can try to get on.”…..You’re talking about two diff situation, two diff kind of women here…and you said exactly what I mentioned earlier..when you meet that WOMAN that makes u proud and look good…you will want to claim her and want to be claimed by her….so my point is…when you meet that one WOMAN (i believe everyone will once in their lifetime) you want to claim her as your own…you want to be claimed by her too….it should be mutual and a two way street…not just men going around and CHOOSE which girls they want to call their girlfriend…women can choose which man they want to call their boyfriend too.

    1. Hey’ “Don’t”. Thanks for the comments. 🙂

      Independent means “Not Dependent”. Therefore, if you’re not dependent on me, don’t worry about what I do, including kickin’ it with other chicks including your little sister.

      Claiming to be an independent person and then clamoring for an exclusive relationship doesn’t make any sense.

      “The reason u think the way u do is because u
      haven’t met that one special girl that captures ur heart and make u feel something u never felt before”

      I never met Santa Claus either, but I still received toys for Christmas…

      …that’s when u work ur butt off to make her feel the same about u ..to make her be exclusive with u (be her boyfriend) ..and you would feel good when she intoduce u to people (ESP other men) as her boyfriend …”

      I see what you’re saying and I agree. When you feel that obsession over one chick, you strive to spend all your ‘chick time’ with her and you aim to make her not want to hook up with any other dudes.

      However, that’s what you’re supposed to be doing from the giddyap. *ALL* chicks are supposed to want to be your girlfriend. Not just the ones you want to hook up with. Women become more useful when they have a goal in life and if that goal is to become exclusive with you, that’s all you really need for her to “be all that she can be” for you.

      Still, my other point is that it doesn’t matter what she calls you as long as she’s performing. If she calls you her boyfriend and she’s physically useless to you, you have nothing. If she doesn’t call you her boyfriend and she’s there for you when you need her AND when you want her, that’s a REAL relationship right there, regardless of what you call it.

      Women are too concerned with titles as if they mean something when they don’t. You elected not to use your real name when you commented on my blog. That doesn’t make your points any less valid. o_O

      “You’re talking about two diff situation, two diff kind of women here…”

      Actually, I’m not. Let me try to clarify. 🙂

      1) A guy will look good to his homeboys if an attractive gal claims to them that he’s her boyfriend because that indicates that he did whatever he had to do to her to put her in deep check. She’s on the roster. She’s on the team. The indication is that he can bag that anytime he wants to.

      2) Even if she doesn’t declare, the guy’s going to lie about it anyway. If you go to the same group of guys and introduce her, and your goal is to look like “The Man”, even if she doesn’t say she’s dating you, when she walks away, the fellaz are going to ask what’s up with that and a guy is very likely to say he’s hooking up with her whether he actually IS or not.

      In both situations, the guy gets props. It’s just a question of whether they’re generated from her admission or his lies. So I’m talking about the same women and the same result, just different avenues.

      In closing, I believe your final point, except for the fact that it’s not just ONE woman that can make you feel like that. There are lots of people that can make you feel like being in an exclusive relationship with them. You just have to find them.

  3. Actually I think she does have a bit of a point. A woman that I have a “grand ole” time with but refuses to call me her boyfriend is a ho or at best a friend with benefit. That might have been all good when I was fresh out of college, but now I am a bit more serious about things. I am starting to think about having my own family. So if she can’t say I’m her “boyfriend”, then I doubt she can say “i do”. If she is unwilling to claim me, why would she be willing to claim my child. Thats a problem to me when I plan to raise a multi-talented mogul.

    1. The point she has only becomes valid under the circumstances which you describe, in which a guy has a specific reason for maintaining a relationship to only one female.. In your example, because you want her to have and raise your children.

      In the other cases, where a guy has no specific reason to be exclusively involved with just one chick, it’s impossible for her to gain leverage because she doesn’t have anything that he wants that he can’t get from some other chick.

  4. I find this absolutely hilarious. The very idea that you believe that men are not insecure and have dominance over women is especially what I am cracking up about.

    I meet a guy, I smile at him, he creeps and finds my number somewhere. Guess who has to deal with the control-freak stalker? They do not take “no” for an answer, but are so desirous that they must change my “no” to a “yes.”

    You also mentioned that a woman maintains her “functionality” if a guy calls her his girlfriend. That is bogus! All my women friends as soon as getting that title stop working out, eating more, less in tune with their hygiene, etc. Where as the men once they earn their title of boyfriend have a certain set of rules to follow.

    I have had men whine to me about not calling them boyfriend and they used all kinds of disgusting tactics in trying to ‘force’ me into calling them my boyfriend. In truth,if a girl is not into a guy she will not publicly declare him her boyfriend. Most likely since she has another guy on the side.

    That is all 😉

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