Team Selection [Hunters, Part 12]

Bill CammackI touched on this briefly in “Wingman Responsibilities [Hunters, Part 01]”, but if you’re putting together a crew of dudes to pull chicks or even just working with one other guy, Team Selection is CRITICAL.

Sometimes, the reason you don’t get on is that you doomed yourself from the beginning by selecting the wrong team for the job.

Everybody’s not effective in all situations.

Just like Mission: Impossible, you have to figure out where you’re going, what the atmosphere is, what kind of women go there, which of your wingmen are effective with that particular demographic, and then who amongst that subset of your cronies is most likely to add value to the situation and least likely to fumble.

Jersey Shore

I felt like talking about this today because the ‘Jersey Shore’ dudes have this weirdo style of team-rapping. Every time you see them pull chicks, it’s in pairs. It’s really weird. 😀

The problem with always picking up multiple chicks is that you’re multiplying your likelihood of failure. Instead of only having ONE female whose mood you have to regulate, you now have TWO. That’s bad enough to begin with, but then, similar to the Bechdel Test, they’re actually talking to each other, which is just about the worst thing that can happen. 🙁

So the question becomes “Did you pull the girls from the club because you wanted to mess with them or because you wanted to enjoy some kind of weirdo event with your homeboy where you hook up and he watches you and your girl from 15 feet away while he’s eating a sandwich?”.

As a side note, Vinny deserves props for salvaging his HORRIBLE RAP to Ramona. She seems to be having a very good time with Vinny now, so kudos to him on that! 😀

Who Is He?

The first thing you need to know is WHO your wingman is, or perhaps what station he currently occupies in life. This is important because y’all might not be seeing chicks the same way, which could lead to disastrous results.

Let’s say, for instance, that you’re a single dude and you’re hanging out with a dude that’s married (and happens not to cheat on his wife). He’s not seeing any of the girls in your vicinity as potential targets, so he’s liable to do and say some REEEEEEEEEALLY STUPID THINGS.

What difference does it make to him if he alienates the chicks? That has no effect whatsoever on his wife giving him some when he goes home. What difference does it make if he makes himself (and you, by association) look like a JERK?.. None.

No matter what he does, his ability to get laid is insulated. This makes him dangerous and a potential liability to your rap at any stage of the game.

This week, on ‘Jersey Shore’, Pauly pulls these two chicks and they come back to the crib with him and Mike and when they get there, it turns out that Mike’s girl for the night isn’t DTF.

Instead of doing THE RIGHT THING and taking this extra chick to the kitchen or wherever so Pauly can get laid, Mike starts “calling a ho a ho”, which is NEVER good policy.

The LAST THING YOU WANT TO DO is tell a chick that you know she’s easy. Even hoes want to feel like they’re hard to get. YOUR goal in life is to let them believe that long enough for you to hook up with them.

So, not only does Mike call the chick a ho, but he informs her directly (and in front of the OTHER ho) that because she’s not going to perform, she has to get out of his bed right now and chill in the living room. 😀 HAHAHA Not only did he simultaneously destroy Pauly’s rap by pointing out his girl for the night’s station in life, but what sense did it make for him to kick the other chick out of the room and remain in the room HIMSELF, spectating Pauly’s action?

Actually, this brings me to the next section..

How Desperate Is He?

Desperation is a good trait in a wingman.. to a degree. You want your teammate to be rather interested in pulling new chicks for tonight because that’s what the game’s all about. If you teamed up with the married dude, he might not be hungry enough to be effective, AND will probably end up being a liability as I mentioned earlier.

OTOH.. You don’t want dude to be so desperate that he loses his mind and forgets what the goal of the evening is. The goal is not for the two of youse as a TEAM to get laid. After you extract the chicks from the club, it’s every man for himself. If your girl fronts, it’s your job to keep her from cockblocking your boy, because that’s what you want him to do for you on that night that will be coming up soon where your girl is DTF and his isn’t.

If you look at Mike’s behavior, it’s just stupid. What did he suspect was going to happen when he told the chick essentially “If you’re not giving it up, get out of my bed AND get out of my room, because the only reason I invited you over was to **** you”? 😀 haha Did he think she was going to go “Oh.. Damn.. You’re right about that.. My Bad! :/” and lay down and give it up?

That’s absolutely ridiculous, so in dissing her by telling her that her only value to him was the late-night hookup, all he did was simultaneously destroy Pauly’s rap too. If you’re calling the chick that WOULDN’T hook up with you a ho and kicking her out of bed, what does that make her homegirl feel like that’s still laying down with Pauly? o_O

So you want your wingman to be desperate enough to put in good work, but you DON’T want him to be so desperate that he catches feelings for not getting laid and ruins the night for YOU in the process.

What’s His Style?

If you’re going to Brooklyn, bring a hipster with you. If you’re going to an upscale Manhattan club, bring a dude in a suit that has class & style and won’t be intimidated by quality women. If you’re going to a ghetto party or social club, bring a ghetto dude.

“Styles Make Fights”. You have to select the proper team member(s) for each mission. Bringing the ghetto dude to the hipster party does you no good. Bringing the hipster to the Manhattan party does you no good.

Basically, you want your team to blend into the surroundings but simultaneously have an edge over other squads that are trying to pull the same girls. At the end of the day, women are women, or, how do they say?.. “All cats are grey in the dark”. Regardless of whatever your wingman’s style of dress or demeanor is, if he doesn’t know how to deal with women in general, you’re pretty much screwed. You might actually do better by bringing the ghetto guy that knows his way around women to the hipster party than bringing a dude that looks the part but isn’t contributing JACK-**** to the team getting on.

How Does He Pull Girls?

It’s very important to know what it is about a potential teammate that the ladies like. It’s also important to know what skillz he’s bringing to the table that help him to bypass roadblocks.

For instance.. Mike gets girls because of his stomach. No chick has ever called him handsome in the history of ‘Jersey Shore’. No chick has ever complimented him on his gift of gab. Every time you see girls around him in the club, it’s because he’s lifting his shirt and letting them touch his stomach. In the entire.. what?.. 22 episodes over two seasons of ‘Jersey Shore’, I’ve never seen Mike salvage a rap by talking the chick into hooking up with him. If she’s not DTF because of his body and/or because he’s a reality television star, it seems like he can’t pull a non-grenade to save his life.

There’s nothing wrong with that, but you have to recognize that that’s what he’s bringing to the table as a wingman. It’s like the strong guy on Mission: Impossible. You didn’t hire him to program any computers. You didn’t hire him to do any good acting. You hired him to lift things and beat people up. That was his job, because that’s what he was good for.

Similarly.. If you’re going to a club where girls give it up because a guy works out a lot, bring Mike. If you’re going to a hotel bar to meet women that expect intelligent & stimulating conversation, DO NOT bring Mike. 😀

In fact, this is what confused me about the entire second season of ‘Jersey Shore’. The name of the show is…. JERSEY… SHORE… How in the **** are you going to film a season in Miami? Their style doesn’t even play well in Miami. It only works at Seaside Heights, New Jersey, and MAAAAAAYBE out on Long Island. That’s like making a show called “Harlem World” and filming the second season in the Lower East Side, or Kansas for that matter. It doesn’t make any sense.

Of course, they probably ended up calling it ‘Jersey Shore’ because all the other names they wanted to use for the show got rejected. \o/

Anyway.. If you’re going out with intelligent women, don’t bring a ditzy bodybuilding dude to back you up. If you’re going out with girls that are looking for “Gorilla Juice-Heads”, don’t bring a scrawny, artsy, intellectual dude with no physique.

It’s your job to bring dudes with you that the women you’re trying to hook up with are going to like just as much as it’s your job to find chicks that your boys are going to want to try to bring back to the hot tub.

Two Strikes, And You’re Out!

I’ve paid my dues. I’ve put in my *HOURS* of sitting around, chatting up chicks I didn’t give a flying **** about so my boy could screw her girlfriend in another room.

That’s probably why I don’t have any sympathy for these lame situations. It’s very simple. The goal is for everyone on the team to have a “good night”. If it works out that one dude pulls a DTF chick and someone else doesn’t, rally ’round the ******* FLAG and help your boy do what he’s trying to do.

One of these days, YOU’RE gonna be the only guy that pulled a viable chick and you’re going to appreciate your comrades assisting your efforts to reach The Dragon’s Lair.

Pretty much, a dude should be allowed to jack up your rap TWICE, maximum. The first time is when you didn’t know he was so stupid as to say or do what he did that made the girls scowl and scamper away instead of handing out contact information. The second time is after you TELL HIM WHAT HE DID WRONG and tell him how to fix it and inform him that you don’t intend to be cockblocked by his ridiculous antics ever again.

If he screws it up after that, don’t invite him on missions anymore. If he shows up by accident, distance yourself from him so you don’t suffer from guilt by association.

As much hard work as you put into crafting your image and demeanor, if you don’t surround yourself with the correct teammates, it’s all for naught because someone else is going to kick a hole in the boat and sink your rap for you.

If you don’t know what someone’s going to do or you suspect he’s going to do the wrong thing, you’re probably better off going solo and hannlin’ yo bidnezz on your own… You know what they say… “If you want something done right….” >:D Connect with Bill via Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, MySpace, Email Subscription, RSS

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  1. As soon as i watched this episode i was like bill is definitely going to post about this.
    I think mike gives up way to easy both times what he fails to realize is that chicks have a lot of don’t count sex. Like it doesn’t count because i was drunk or lonely …etc. Anytime i find myself in that situation where a girl acts like she isn’t dtf u get excited because its a challenge.

    1. Agreed on both of your points, man. 🙂 .. In fact, you’ve inspired what I want to write about this morning.. “‘Don’t Count’ Sex”!!! 😀

      This is the thing.. So long as you don’t *TELL* a chick that you think she’s a ho, she’s liable to do anything to or for you at any time. You’re never out of the game until you’re out of physical contact with her, meaning you’re on a bus going in one direction and she’s in a cab going the other direction.

      You can STILL pull something out from that situation, but your odds are pretty slim at that point, haha. 😀

      As far as Mike “Giving Up”, I agree with your assessment, except that I’m pretty sure he knows his rap is garbage. Although the show is massively edited, as well as “scripted by editing” (meaning that they show things that help them develop their storylines), if you look at all the club footage, the only time you see girls around Mike is when he lifts his shirt up. The rest of the time, you see HIM approach THEM, but you never see girls just walking up to Mike and wanting to talk to him.

      Mike’s entire rap is dependent on chicks either being drunk, sweating his stomach, or knowing that he’s a television star. There’s nothing wrong with that, but having gimmicks for advantages usually leads to guys having no actual skillz at talking chicks into hooking up with them.

      Meanwhile.. You see girls kickin’ it to Pauly when he’s working in the store. Girls kick it to him on the beach. Girls kick it to him in the clubs. Pauly knows what he’s doing, because he’s used to getting girls. Mike just basically drinks alcohol, goes to the club… Mike’s more like bait. 😀 It’s like throw him in the water and see what’s attached to him when you pull him back out.

      The funny thing about that is that for two seasons, Mike’s been complaining that girls are “grenades”, and the qualifications for “grenades” has been expanding since day 01. The only two girls that I’ve heard Mike say were actually attractive were Sammi the roommate and Ramona, the chick that Vinny’s currently kickin’ it with… WHO Mike tried to talk into hooking up with him and it failed MISERABLY, *PLUS* chick ratted him out to Vinny, PLUS all the roommates know he tried to “cut Vinny’s throat”… Anyway.. How are you going to complain about the quality of girls you pull when you’re fishing? You pull quality women by TALKING, not working out and pulling your shirt up at a club and dragging drunk chicks back to the hot tub at 3am.

      So what you perceive as “Giving Up”, I perceive as an exposure of the major flaw in Mike’s rap game. If the chick isn’t DTF, he’s finished. He can’t produce that feeling in her on his own. All he can do is hope that she’s sweating his abs and she’s drunk (and/or horny) enough to take off her clothes and hop in bed with him.

      So when that chick… Which he was PERFECTLY HAPPY TO HOP IN BED WITH UNTIL SHE REJECTED HIM… said she doesn’t drink and she doesn’t hook up with guys, Mike didn’t have any plays in the playbook for that. It came down to his gift of gab to get this chick that came home with him at 4am to actually give it up. 4am. She was fronting on him at 4am. HAHAHAHA

      In fact, the tell-tale comment about that situation is that PAULY is the one that pulled BOTH of those chicks. He said later on that he could have hooked up with either one of them, but he selected one and Mike fumbled the other one. This is what Pauly gets for being generous. He should have pulled his one girl on his own and let Mike fend for himself. Take the chick to the Smash Room, do your thing and tell the fellaz how it was in the morning after you “call her a cab”.

      That’s actually another topic I need to talk about.. Just because a chick’s DTF for ONE GUY doesn’t mean she’s down to hook up with another guy. It doesn’t necessarily mean she’s horny in general and any guy that happens to be friends with the guy that invited them to his house can get laid.

      As far as your other point, not only is it a challenge to attempt to pull a chick that claims she’s not DTF, it’s *FUN*!!!!! >:D .. There’s almost nothing better in The Game than meeting a chick that swears up and down she’s not going to do anything physical tonight and eventually, you get her so hot she’s begging YOU to hook up with HER! 😀 HAHAHA

      This was Mike’s opportunity to SHINE and he blew it. After that BOOOOOOOOOOSHIT that chick said about “I don’t drink and I don’t hook up with people, either”, do you know what a SCRUM she would look like if Mike had gotten on? 😀 .. That was his chance to be the king, but instead, he realized he has no game if the chick isn’t already DTF and he threw a tantrum. He kicked her out of the room and then she CAME. BACK. INTO. THE. ROOM! 😀 .. I mean, the entire thing was embarrassing.

      What he should have done was said “ok.. You’re not going to hook up with me. I’m going to the kitchen to make a sandwich.. Let’s go”. He should have dragged her ass out of the room so Pauly could get laid and when his boy was finished, kick them ******* out, hear about how the sex was and go to sleep.

      I’m rather suspicious, however, of the fact that Mike likes to stay in the room while Pauly’s hooking up. I’ve seen situations like that IRL and my assessment has always been that the guy that’s lurking is hoping that he’s going to be able to hook up with the other dude’s sloppy seconds and/or mess with her WHILE his boy’s messing with her.

      The mentality being “I know this chick screws because I’m watching her screw right now. Maybe I can get some after my boy does”.

      Either way, it’s really poor policy and entirely inconsiderate. Pauly pulled BOTH GIRLS and blessed you with one. You fumbled. Go distract her and play your position, so that next time, when YOU’RE the one that has the DTF chick, your boy knows to play HIS part the way you did for him.

  2. first of all I’m confused as hell about this grenade thing IMO Mike the better looking chick out of the two. Also I get the whole editing thing but the chick clearly said do you still wanna get in the hot tub. Now the way I see it this chick didn’t have much clothes on which means hottub = naked which = mike could still get on and why does he give her 50 water (vit. Water.) why didn’t he use the clues the other chick gave her and get some liquor in her.

    ps. I also find it odd that mike stays in the room. When pauly tries to hook up.

    1. You’re not confused, man… *THEY* are. 😀

      First of all, you’re absolutely right. The chick that didn’t want to hook up with Mike was more attractive than the chick Pauly had, IMO. There’s no way in hell that the chick was a grenade by EITHER of their faulty definitions.

      For the sake of argument.. If she HAD BEEN a grenade, why in the hell was Mike trying to screw her? o_O .. Also, how come we never heard about how bad she looked BEFORE she dissed Mike? Third.. How come Mike was *UPSET* that a sub-par female decided not to hook up with him?

      None of it makes any sense. You’re not confused at all. Pauly pulled BOTH of the chicks. Pauly could have hooked up with EITHER of the chicks, or probably BOTH of them. The one that was left with Mike didn’t like him so she claimed she doesn’t drink and she doesn’t hook up. Neither one is necessarily true, but it’s all the same to Mike, because it means he has to WORK and use TECHNIQUE to get her to do the right thing and he doesn’t *HAVE* any technique, is my point. 😀

      In fact, the only technique he had in his arsenal was to try do dis her and make her feel stupid and left out of the “fun” by banishing her to another part of the house with something to drink. That was REEEEEEEEEALLY stupid.

      You’re absolutely right. The chick wanted to get in the hot tub. She said so herself. Mike is so stupid that instead of getting in the hot tub with her and seeing if he could pull out a win, he decided to dis her with something to the effect of “No Hot Tub for ******* that don’t put out”.

      Meanwhile, his weirdo ass goes back in the room to hang out and watch Pauly hook up *AGAIN* like he did a couple of episodes ago when they fumbled the chicks and Pauly called a new chick at like 6am to come through and hook up.

      I really wish MTV would have delved more into their pickup plans. I mentioned in another post that it wasn’t until something like episode 08 of season 02 that they even SAID that there was a chalkboard where they were keeping track of how many girls each one of them hooked up with. MTV only added it because once Pauly and Vinny met girls they wanted to chill with, they decided to hide the evidence by erasing their names from the board.

      I’m pretty sure they’re playing a group game. You’ll notice that they always move together, which I think is very strange also. If Mike would have ran his mouth and gotten kicked out of that club they went to, I would have been like “Don’t let the door hit’cha where the Good Lord split’cha!” and I would have been in the club until I fell asleep and he would have been at home, complaining.

      I understand that they only have so many camera crews, but **** THAT! 😀

      Same thing with the chicks. My friends and I were never on the group tip. Whichever one of us could get on got on. Sometimes, we would head back around the way with 5 guys and 2 chicks and only two guys got to hook up (unless, of course, the chick was a freak like that). I don’t understand this “I want to hang out in the same room and watch my boy try to screw this chick” thing unless it’s a group game they’re playing that the producers decided not to focus on in the edit.

      Anyway.. The fact remains that Mike is a scrub when it comes to chicks and if they’re not drunk, horny, bored or star-struck, he doesn’t have much chance of getting on.

      This is the problem with bringing people whose style only works in New Jersey & Long Island to Miami to see what they can do.

      The season they just filmed should be better because they’re back in their natural habitat.

  3. your totaly right The group thing is ridiculous I never leave with the mans after a fight if I don’t get kicked out with them. As a matter of fact I don’t even come with the mans I come solo in my own car that way there is no we came together lish! it seems like pauly is the only one that ventures off & he always seems to reapear with some chicks. I actually can’t wait to see pauly break it down to the situation that he needs to stop effing up.

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