I got to spend some time with some CLOSE friends the other night. It was a very grounding experience for me. I’d like to talk about something very simple.
Calling something a particular thing doesn’t make that thing what you called it.
Not calling something anything doesn’t make it less than what it actually is.
For instance.. If you know you’re loved by someone that you don’t call your girlfriend, fiancee or wife, that doesn’t diminish the amount of love she feels for you or expresses to you. It’s the actuality of your relationship that counts, not the title.
At the same time, giving someone a title doesn’t dictate that they’re going to love you or even like you.
I wanted to make that clear because a lot of people wonder “How could he have…?” or “How could she have…?” when something goes wrong in their so-called relationships.
What I really should have said a long time ago is that for us to properly discuss your situation, you have to understand that I don’t believe you’re in a relationship at all.
I understand that you and someone else SAID you were together and that that’s what you tell people when they ask you, but from what I’m hearing or reading about how you’re being treated, you’re not describing someone who loves you, likes you or even cares about you.
If a guy calls a chick his girlfriend and she’s giving it up left and right to other guys, what’s that title really worth? All it means is “I’m one of the guys that gets to have sex with her”… So What? \o/
If a gal calls a guy her husband and he’s beating her ass and doing all kinds of despicable things to her, what is that title really worth? That sounds more like “Sleeping With The Enemy” to me than anything else.
So that’s the understanding we need to come to.. Just because you say you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean I believe you.
So when a gal asks how your boyfriend could have gone to the strip club and hooked up with that dancer, my answer is “He felt like it”, which makes perfect sense to me because he’s doing what he’s supposed to be doing, which is exactly what he FEELS LIKE DOING. His so-called “relationship” to you only remains as long as it’s convenient. If you find out that he’s been messing with other chicks and you mention that to him, it might be *YOU* that gets ejected and not the so-called “hoes” that are messing with “YOUR” man.
Similarly, when a guy asks how his girlfriend could just up and leave him because some other guy dangled some money or something else in her face, my answer is “She felt like it”, and you have to recognize that she was only dating you as a means to an end. You represented stability or money or whatever else she was getting from you and when she saw the opportunity to get even more of that from the next man, she bounced. C’est La Vie. \o/
Meanwhile.. You would be a fool not to recognize and appreciate the people that really ARE down for you, ESPECIALLY when you didn’t give them titles. This applies across the board, in business, dating, whatever. Reliable is Reliable. In fact, the person that’s reliable for no reason other than THEY FEEL LIKE being reliable for you is worth more than the person who’s doing for you because they currently have a title. Watch how useless that person becomes to you as soon as y’all break up…..
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