Lies & Boob Jobs

Pretty much every single week, I have to hear about people that fell for the okey-doke because someone SAID one thing and then DID another thing.

Please get a clue.. Stop listening to what people say. Talk is cheap. Actions speak louder than words. Try to focus on reality instead of some fantasy someone pumped into your brain.

Boob Jobs

So I’m watching this week’s ‘Jerseylicious’ episode, and they’re talking about how Olivia wants a “Boob Job”.

Basically, she’s not happy with her usual process of wearing several bras at a time plus padding them with “chicken cutlets” so she can look like she has big tits when she doesn’t. She’s set up an appointment to go get actual breast implants from a doctor. I believe she had decided she wanted a D-cup.

Fortunately for her, she ran into a chick that happened to be waiting in the doctor’s office to get a breast REDUCTION, which totally freaked Olivia out and she elected not to get her boob job that she had been raving about for ages.

The most important part of this storyline was a story she told about her mother. She said that she really liked the proportions of her mother’s body and had asked her when her tits were going to grow to look like her mother’s. The response she received was that her mother experienced a growth spurt around 21/22 years old.

After years of believing this, Olivia eventually found out that her mother had gotten a boob job.. Which means that genetically, there was no reason why Olivia should expect to naturally get any larger than she already is, which led to this implant obsession.

This is what happens when you fall for the okey-doke. This is what happens when you base your perception of reality on a lie. “I’m supposed to get this because someone told me I was going to get it”. “My life is supposed to unfold this way because someone told me it was supposed to”…

This is useful when we are kids because we can all utilize fantasies to help us understand adult concepts. Santa Claus brings the toys. The Stork brings the babies. The Tooth Fairy puts money under your pillow…

If these things cross over into your adult life, you’re going to have a problem adjusting to reality. Kids that don’t understand that babies come from a guy screwing a chick, not because some bird flew out of the sky and randomly deposited a baby where your family could find it end up surprised when they’re having sex for recreation and the girl gets pregnant. \o/ Whose fault is THAT? Is it the fault of the kid for not Googling “Child Birth”, or is it the parents’ fault for shirking responsibility and relying on fables instead of telling their son or daughter the truth about reality?

How tough would it have been for Olivia’s mother to SAY that she got a boob job instead of setting her daughter up to believe that her tits were ever going to grow? o_O

How tough is it for mothers to explain to their kids that their father is a ******* selfish-ass DEADBEAT who abandoned the family because he’s a JERK and not because the kids weren’t worth loving?

How tough is it for a guy to say “I have no intentions on dating you exclusively. I just feel like hooking up with you” and letting the gal decide whether she wants to roll with that program or not?

Unfortunately, there are times in life when people are going to lie to you. Your job is to check and test the logic and validity of what they’re saying to the best of your ability so you remain grounded in reality and don’t end up traveling down a path of your own creation.


Formats Available: Quicktime (.mov)

I had a situation occur when I was a teenager that illustrated this point for me perfectly.

Due to my own fault (of miscalculation/misunderstanding, not intentional disrespect), I was scheduled to have a fight with this kid who was currently a friend of mine.

I didn’t want to have this fight, not because I would have lost (which I would have), but because I didn’t have any beef with him and liked him as a person. If I had disliked him at the time, we could have easily thrown the hands and I might have punched him in the face a few times in the process of getting my ass kicked. πŸ˜€

So anyway.. I didn’t want to fight him, so this turned into a big argument with a big crowd watching. Some guy I’ve never seen before in my life starts instigating, telling me “Hit him.. You can take him.. Hit him!”.

Fortunately, a) this dude was a ******* NOBODY to me, so his opinion didn’t count, and b) I had already decided that I wasn’t going to fight my friend. This argument went on for quite a while, maybe 15 minutes, which is a LONG-ASS-TIME when a fight could break out at any second, and then we decided that there wasn’t going to be a fight and that was that.

Relatively soon after that.. I don’t remember whether it was a couple of days later or a couple of weeks later, I was hanging out and I heard someone talking. It turned out that it was the kid that had tried to instigate. He was talking to some other kid I didn’t know, saying “See that kid over there?.. The other day, he almost got his ass *BEAT* by this other kid, blah blah blah”.

That was a good learning experience for me because I got to reflect on what might have happened if I would have been so STUPID as to take some nobody’s advice on what I should do, especially when it pertained to an actual friend of mine.

I learned that people can SOUND incredibly sincere when they’re trying to get you to do something, but that doesn’t actually mean JACK ****. As much as they sound like they’re in your corner or have your best interests at heart… When the situation passes or when they decide they’ve gotten their entire usefulness from you, you may or may not see their true colors after that. What you need to do is stick to YOUR convictions and take what other people say into account but don’t allow your decision-making process to be affected by people that haven’t proven that their word should mean something to you.

This is why I’m so tired of hearing about what people SAID, as if it actually means something. It doesn’t.

  • He said we were in an exclusive relationship.
  • She said it was my baby.
  • He said he was going to take me shopping after we had sex.
  • She said she was out with her girlfriends all night.
  • He said he wants to take care of my kids as if they were his own.
  • She said he was her cousin / co-worker / probation officer…
  • He said he was going to pull out.

Just stop it, people… They said whatever they needed to say to get you to do whatever they wanted you to do. You fell for it and you got GOT. Learn the lessons you can take away from your experiences and make better assessments in the future.. HOPEFULLY focusing on what people *DO* and not what they SAY. Connect with Bill via Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, MySpace, Email Subscription, RSS

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  1. This cracks me up, Bill. I recently wrote a post for women about why they need to start believing what men say, instead of creating this contrived story in their own minds. If you’re interested, it’s at (and I actually realized I have 2 other posts about honesty and integrity) I think if you combine our two posts, the lesson here is that men tend to be a little more upfront with their communication, and women tend to get a little “fancy” with their words. πŸ˜‰ It’s because we grew up playing ridiculous emotional games with eachother while the boys were using their fists. Isn’t it a waste of time when you find out that everything coming out of someone’s mouth is false? I recently dumped a girl friend of mine who called me crying that her dad had been killed in a head on collision with a semi truck. A few days later, he posted something on her facebook page. You realize quickly that every conversation with someone like that is a complete and total waste of time! Some people need help! It’s also funny to see this, because I was just working on a post this morning regarding looking at a guys LIFE and what it IS, instead of listening to what is coming out of their mouth about what it’s gonna be. I’m looking at the related posts right now and realizing I’m going to have to go read “Why Women are Better Liars Than Men”. πŸ™‚ Even though I write with more optimism, I think…I love your blog!

    1. hehe I’ll check out your article, Jaime! πŸ˜€

      We’re saying the same thing under different circumstances.

      I’m totally on board with you that women should believe what men say.. whether we’re saying positive things or negative things. If a guy says “I’ve got three other chicks”….. You MIGHT want to believe him! πŸ˜€ hahaha If he says “I love you and want you to be my girlfriend”, you might want to believe THAT as well…

      The trick, however, is that people need to train themselves to BELIEVE THE BELIEVABLE and TRUST THE TRUSTWORTHY, Capisce? πŸ˜‰ .. Just because someone SAYS they want to date you or move in with you or marry you doesn’t mean they actually DO. Until someone has EARNED your trust, what they say isn’t worth that proverbial hill of beans.

      I also agree that our communication styles are different. If a guy says a gal looks good, that means….. she looks good to him. Period. It doesn’t mean he wants an exclusive relationship. It might not even mean that he wants to tap that.. He might just be handing out an honest & well-deserved compliment.

      I’m sure that leads to a lot of misunderstandings when guys say something simple and gals interpret extra stuff and then continue the relationship as if dude said something he really didn’t say. We have to look out for that in the reverse as well. If a gal starts talking too flowery about hooking up, she might be more trouble than she’s worth to get rid of her after the fact so it’s in our best interests to veto any action with her off the bat. πŸ™‚

      Yeah.. That semi-truck thing is a deal-breaker. If she’s willing to lie about that, she’ll like about anything less important than that, which is just about ANYTHING, including hooking up with your boyfriend and being pregnant by him. :/

      Agreed also with your “Look at what *IS*, and not the hypothetical future” idea. That goes for if a guy CLAIMS he’s going to do big thAngs in the future or whether a gal decides on her own that he’s on XYZ career path.

      Stick to the present. Pizza, Beer and getting your ass WAXED on a daily basis may very well be as good as your relationship with this guy’s going to get. πŸ˜€ Take it or leave it. Enjoy it or bounce. You may never make it any higher than his #3 girlfriend, no matter how long you stick around. He might get successful and then decide he can afford a “better” chick and dump you.

      The Future isn’t worth thinking about. Stick to the present. Communicate, learn who to trust and then make educated decisions with this one life you’re going to have. πŸ™‚

      Thanks for the props, Jaime! πŸ˜€ Cheers! πŸ˜€

  2. Another winner, Bill! Loved the fight story…I’ve always been interested in studying the natural behaviors of the “perpetual instigator”! They are ALWAYS the ones who need their a***s kicked!! HA HA

    But seriously, what our parents/grandparents/great-grandparents taught for generations still holds true…ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS! It’s interesting that when I read Jaime’s comment, “I recently wrote a post for women about why they need to start believing what men say, instead of creating this contrived story in their own minds.” You’d better watch their actions, and see if they meet up with their words. Women have built in instincts that will tell us when “something just don’t smell right.” (as my Grandmother used to say). It’s the contradiction of actions vs words, plus the intuition, that tells the true story, whether it’s from a guy/girl/friend/parent/anyone. But for some reason, people sometimes believe what they WANT to believe. A woman in crazy love will listen to what a guy says and STILL make up fabio-infused stories in her own mind! Thus, actions+words+intuition tell the story.

    I don’t watch Jerseylicious (still on brain detox from Jersey Shore!), but I can’t believe the mother would lie to her daughter. I cringed! My mother and father may not have always told THE WHOLE STORY about something, but they never lied to us. If they withheld info, it was because we were not ready for certain details, but as my Grandmother also used to say, “If it don’t come out in the wash, it’ll come out in the rinse.” Never did my sister and I feel we had been lied to, been had, bamboozled, hoodwinked, or led astray. As young as my kids are, the truth about Santa is about to be revealed this year, since the 4 year old is starting to hear “the rumors.” He will know that Santa is a character from folklore that unfortunately has been capitalized upon and commercialized over the years to get big chain stores to garner profits at parents’ expense…OK, so we’re leaving out the commercialization part! LOL. But the end of the story will be that if he and his sister want toys, they’d better be writing letters to MOMMY and DADDY, and keep on their toes for the next few weeks if they wanna get something other than a lump of coal.

    Bottom line – whether a child/parent or adult friendship/relationship. The truth is the way to go, and falling for the okie-doke is YO’ fault, because most of us have the good common sense to look past the fluff and bull**** to see things as they are and not as they appear.

    Thanks for allowing me to ramble Bill…we couldn’t all get up at the crack of dawn with a fresh head. Some of us are still trying to wake up from the weekend! LOL

    1. Yeah.. If that instigator-dude’s still alive, he must have gone through a hard life, getting into other people’s business like that. πŸ˜€

      I was like “WOAH! :O” when I heard the mother story, myself. Had to rewind it a couple of times. That’s just SO not a good thing to do. That’s like if you had gotten a nose-job and then your daughter has a big nose and you don’t and you try to explain it away instead of telling her the truth about her heritage… That’s like if your family is actually “Native American” and you told your daughter she was white. It’s worse than “C’MON, SUNNN! :/”. smh

      The Santa thing makes sense because all the little kids believe it up to a point. It’s a social thing to get your kids to believe it, too. However.. It eventually becomes obvious that there’s no ******* CHIMNEY in your house, and there’s no way in hell that Santa would actually be able to get INTO your crib to drop off the presents.

      If you’re dumb enough to tell your kids that Santa breaks into the house to leave presents, you’re going to make your kids paranoid.

      What happened in the show is that when Olivia went with her already-got-her-tits-done homegirl/roommate to the doctor’s office, they met this gal in the waiting room that was there for a breast reduction. She started telling Olivia about how bothersome having a larger chest is, AND was telling her how she’s going to have to get them redone every few years.

      Olivia came completely unglued and tried to leave the doctor’s office with the surgery gown on. She was out in the street, crying and sobbing and telling the doctor to charge her for the dress, haha πŸ˜€

      Another issue, which was beyond the scope of the show, is this entire “Your body will be perfect if it looks like this” thing that they pressure women into believing and then they airbrush even the top models. They try to get women to believe they can look “perfect” and then take all y’all’s money chasing a dream.

  3. While I would love to sit here & say I’m not a gullible Schmuck, when it comes to matters of the heart I always tend to fall for the okie doke. That’s why I RARELY date, I already know myself

    1. Interestingly, Angela.. Your second statement trumps and overrides your first statement.

      You’re WAAAAAY ahead of the game, knowing that you’re liable to go out like that. The women that have the *REAL* problems are the ones that THINK they’re not susceptible when they actually are.

      In my case, I get snapped on by people because I have a lot of keys and other things on my keyring. The most common joke is “Are you a janitor?” HAHAHA

      The fact of the matter is that I happen to know that if I didn’t have a lot of keys bunched together, the set wouldn’t be massive enough and I would lose my keys.

      Knowing that I’m liable to lose my keys, I keep a bunch of them together so that never happens. Dudes can have all the jokes they want, but I still have my ******* keys! πŸ˜€

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