I think monogamy makes sense under three conditions.. Fear, Scarcity & Obsession.
Fear is obvious. If you’re only hooking up with one person, you’re much less likely to catch a disease… Unless, of course, you’ve decided to become monogamous with someone that already *HAS* a disease! 😀
Scarcity comes into play if you don’t live in a place like New York City where there are 210,820 more single women than men. If you don’t have infinite female turnover, it makes sense to select the best chick you can get your hands on and stick with her.
Obsession is my personal favorite. If you happen to be obsessed with a gal, you want to see her over and over, all the time, every day.. You can’t get enough of her and hate falling asleep because then you have to wait to experience her some more. >:D
I would have added a fourth category, “Family Planning”, except we have enough examples where guys plan families without planning monogamy.
Business Is Business
It just so happens to come into play because women have been trained to request it and men have been trained to either agree to it or fake agreeing to it in order to get laid. It’s all in The Game… Unless it isn’t.
If you’re not willing to play the “I’m only hooking up with you” game, just opt-out.. verbally and clearly. Make sure she understands how you operate and what you’re willing to trade her (read: NOTHING) in order to get her to be who she already wants to be for you.
If she likes you but is holding out for some kind of commitment from you, acknowledge that and let her hold out. There are only another 210,819 chicks that might want to hook up with you. If she comes around, she comes around. If she doesn’t, it’s literally not even a drop in the bucket. 1/210,000 rounds off to 0% (closer to 0/100 than 1/100). If she decides to deprive herself of experiencing her own natural instincts and desires, you’re losing, literally, nothing at all.
Of course, lots of guys don’t play it this way. The order of the day is “Fake It, ‘Till You Make It”. Every gal you’re working on, you act as if she’s your only girlfriend. This isn’t ethical, but it’s efficient and works like a charm. On top of that, if one of your chicks finds out about another one and bounces, that just frees up more time for you to spend with your other chicks. \o/
Why Is He Monogamous?
I think it’s important for women to understand WHY a guy’s being monogamous with them. OH! haha Just thought of a fourth category! 😀
Some guys are monogamous with gals because the sex is infinitely better.
If hooking up with other chicks pales in comparison, there’s no point in putting in the effort associated with bagging them. This could be because sex with your top chick is physically better, or you get more emotional content from ‘making love’ to this particular woman, or y’all are into the same kink.. or you’re *NOT* into the same kink, but she’s willing to do it with you because she’s down for you like that. >;D
BTW.. The slang term for a guy that’s hooked on having sex with one particular woman is “Sprung”.
So, Yeah.. It’s important for a gal to know WHY her boyfriend or whatever is being monogamous with her. This way, she’s less likely to get blindsided when something changes about their relationship and he’s hookin’ up with the next chick, whether he announces this to her or not.
If it’s Fear.. When he meets another gal he trusts and believes is ‘clean’, he might be in there like Belvedere.
If it’s Scarcity.. When he travels or new chicks arrive in town permanently or temporarily, he might decide to try them out.
If he’s sprung.. He may or may not be willing to hook up with chicks when new opportunities arise. If he doesn’t enjoy it more than his main girl, he’ll be back in the saddle, ASAP.
If it’s Obsession.. He might not pay any attention at all to new chicks, even if they’re cuter than his girl or have better bodies or whatever. Any time he spends with other women qualifies as downtime, and worth way less than time he spends with the chick he’s obsessed with.
What About Love?
Of course, the women who are still reading this are wondering “How come he didn’t mention LOVE??? :(”
Well.. Unfortunately.. Just because a guy loves you doesn’t mean he’s only going to have sex with YOU, and just because he’s only having sex with you doesn’t mean he loves you.
On top of that, “I love you” is used to great effect to cloud women’s minds and make y’all give it up faster. We can say it without meaning it and we can feel it without saying it.
For me, Love translates to appreciating someone on a very deep level for whom I’ve experienced them as, and wanting the absolute best for them in their lives. I might even want a gal I love to EXPERIENCE monogamy, except not with me. 😀 In fact, I’ll assist in facilitating monogamy for her so that she can be happy, since we’re not playing the same game. I think loving someone involves wanting the best for someone, even if that’s not the best thing FOR YOU.
So.. No.. Unless we stipulate that Love leads to Obsession, I don’t think that love has anything to do with monogamy at all.
If a guy loves a gal and he’s OBSESSED with her, he’s not going to be interested in hooking up with random chicks. If he loves her and he FEARS her leaving him, he’s not going to ACT on his desires to mess with other chicks. If he loves her and women are SCARCE in his area, he might not have the opportunity to come into contact with other gals he physically desires. If he’s SPRUNG, he just went out like that! HAHAHA \o/