They just don’t work the right way for me.
It’s weird, it’s like a version of stage fright or something.
I know what I want to say and it’s obvious and simple.
When I’m finally there with her, IRL, f2f, I decide I’m going to tell her how great she is, and…..
Usually, I can remember the first element of the compliment and then the rest of my mind goes completely blank.
It’s like I’m walking around in a forest, looking for the bag where I left all my notes that I wrote down explaining the compliments.
It’s really strange and it’s VERY funny to experience for someone like me, to whom mental domination is paramount in life. I have to learn and think about and remember and implement so many ideas that it’s just ridiculous that I trip up on complimenting a gal for something she definitely deserves and is extremely obvious to me.
I know why this happens to me. In the process of telling her about herself, I start THINKING about the qualities that I’m describing to her and instances where I noticed these things about her. I can’t do both at the same time. I can’t mentally consider how great she is and talk about it simultaneously. My mind doesn’t work like that.
Mentally, I become entirely immersed in whatever I’m thinking deeply about. The outside world actually ceases to exist for me and I’m “in” whatever I’m currently considering. It’s a large part of what makes me who I am as a video editor. I actually live inside my projects while my attention’s on them.
Normally, this isn’t a problem because when you’re talking to women, they’re yakking about their day or some shoes they saw in a store window, or if you’re lucky, they’re in your same field so you can “talk shop” with them, or you’re discussing something else that has nothing to do with a) how you feel about them, or b) how they make you feel when you’re around them.
So I know why this happens, but there’s nothing I can do about it… Well, I mean, I could type out the compliments and read them off of my smartphone like the rappers do when they’re claiming to be freestyling, but that doesn’t come off as the most genuine, when you’re saying “Your eyes are like limpid pools…” while you’re looking down at your phone and nowhere near her eyes. 😀
I received a lesson in how to NOT compliment women from a close homegirl of mine, whose opinions I value greatly. I was explaining to her this spiffy (or, so I thought) comment I made about another homegirl of mine’s wardrobe. LongStoryShort, I had happily mentioned that the color and texture of her jacket reminded me of my favorite donuts.
So my friend BUSS OUT LAUGHING AT ME while looking at me like she can’t believe I did that, and I’m like “What? \o/”. As a guy, this compliment makes perfect sense. Donuts are tasty & delicious. Donuts are made to look very pretty when they’re sitting on the shelves. Donuts make people happy. Donuts make people SMILE!!! 😀
Unfortunately for me.. Donuts make people FAT. :/
I then received a lesson about how you can’t compliment women by associating them with fattening foods. You have to compare them to slimming or at least slim-looking foods, like celery.
Obviously, this is ridiculous, 😀 but if there’s one thing I’ve learned from The Game, it’s to not do what MAKES SENSE, but instead, do what’s EFFECTIVE.
Do Fries Go With That Shake?
For instance.. Let’s say you know a chick that usually dresses in a frumpy fashion where she looks like her own grandmother and you’ve been ‘meh’ about her this whole time, and then she shows up to a party wearing a stylish miniskirt and tights and you’re like “DAAAAMMMMNNN!!! :O” because you didn’t know she had a nice ass like that:
You can’t exactly compliment her directly about how foyine her ass is, so you have to finesse it. 🙂 You ask her if she’s been working out, and mention that her “Shape” is looking good.
Same thing with the gear. You can’t tell her “I’m glad you finally stopped dressing like them Amish chicks”. You say something like “That’s a really good look for you! :D”.
So, like, in my case.. Even though the chick’s gear reminds me of donuts, I should have said something like “That jacket works really well with your skin tone! :D” or some bullshit like that and then followed up with a compliment about her eyes.
As I’ve discussed before, “Eyes” are the safest compliment you can give a woman. This is because women find it tough to attribute sexual value to their eyes.
If you compliment her ass, she’s thinking it’s because you want to **** her. If you compliment her legs, she thinks it’s because you want them up on your shoulders. If you compliment her hands or her lips… well, you know what she’s thinking. If you compliment her hair, she thinks its because you want to pull it while you’re ******* her.
Pretty much, “Eyes” are the only thing you can compliment a gal on that always works and never makes her start projecting that you consider her a sex object…. Which she is, or else you wouldn’t be talking to her in the first place, but, you know… \o/
You can also compliment a woman on her achievements in business. “Oh!.. You’re a CEO?.. That’s GREAT!!! :D”. “Oh!.. You’re working on your startup?.. That’s GREAT!!! :D”. Not that anybody cares about this if she shows up for drinks looking like Frumpty Dumpty (HAHAHAHA credit: Patti from Millionaire Matchmaker! HAHAHA), but they like hearing stuff like this and you definitely get points for it.
If she has kids, you have to compliment their personalities instead of their looks. Say stuff like “They’re so well-mannered! :D” or “They’re so intelligent! :D” instead of “DAYUM!!! 😀 When we have kids, they’re gonna look *DOPE*, SUNN!!! :D”.
If she says something intelligent, try not to appear surprised.
Weight Loss is also a highly effective compliment for women. Due to society’s brainwashing, women always feel like they a) CAN lose 5 pounds, and b) would look BETTER if they lost 5 pounds. In lots of cases, neither one is the truth. Regardless.. When you see her, mention that she’s lost weight since the last time you saw her. Don’t ASK her if she’s lost weight, say it like it’s an obvious fact.
If she’s actually lost weight, she’ll be happy that you noticed. If she hasn’t lost weight, she’ll be happy that *SOMEONE* feels like she lost weight.
If you go to her crib, compliment the decor. Women spend a lot of time making their homes look nice. They do it mainly for themselves, but they also think guys are going to notice. We’re not. We just came over to tap that. Nobody cares about the flowers you put in the vase, yadda yadda.
Make sure you look around and find something that seems to be an unique item that she selected herself and act as if you care about it. This makes her feel like you appreciate her sense of taste and not just how she tastes.
Finally… Whatever you do.. WHAT-EVER you do… Do *NOT* compliment a woman on being pregnant, just in case she isn’t.
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