Nobody Believes You

Basketball Wives

So they just dropped the first episode of the second season of “Basketball Wives”, right? 😀

I had never heard of this show through its first season, so I decided to see what might POSSIBLY be interesting about wives of basketball players.

I find all of these “wives” series pretty funny to begin with because there’s no such thing as a “husbands” show. When there’s a show about guys, it’s because they actually DO SOMETHING.. not because they’re married to someone that’s doing something with their lives.

So anyway… These gals all meet up for drinks and they start asking each other about their relationships.

This one chick, she’s skinny for my personal taste, but she’s pretty cute. 🙂 She’s channeling Lark Voorhies from back in the “Saved By The Bell” days. (yum, yum, yum! :D)

So this chick goes “Duane and I are doing good…”, so I realize that she’s not a wife, but a girlfriend. I’m in the middle of thinking “Oh.. So he’s waxing that ass” when she goes:

“He hasn’t made my hips spread yet, so..”


Give Me A Break

She was implying that he hadn’t screwed her yet. I’m sorry, ladies, but for those of y’all that are trying to get your foot in the door, never having given him some is NOT a feather in your cap.

It might make your girlfriends go OOH and AAH and clink your glass as if you’re ballin’, shot-callin’, but in fact, your leverage is ZERO.

Actually “We’re doing well” and “He hasn’t made my hips spread yet” are mutually exclusive. It’s one or the other.. not both.

If a guy has above-average looks or above-average money (and you’d better HOPE he’s not above average in both), he’s getting laid by SOMEBODY. If that’s not you, your leverage is going down the drain.. quickly.

Of course, he’s going to tell you that he’s not hooking up with other chicks to keep you ‘in pocket’… Trust & Believe that guys don’t make money in order to NOT get laid. We can NOT get laid by being broke. We don’t even have to have jobs for that. 😀

If a guy is PAID and you’re supposed to be his girlfriend and you’re frontin’ on the Jimmy, there are lots of gals out here givin’ it up for way less than you’re trying to extort him for, which leads me to her next statement:

“I said I was giving it a few months, but then I was like ‘I don’t know.. Maybe I’ll wait for a ring’.”

C’Mon, Sunn! :/

Now, we already went over this in “Hard To Get vs. Expensive To Buy”, but I know a few guys that got married. A couple of them spent $6,000 USD on engagement rings for women they’re not even WITH anymore. o_O

I guarantee you that it costs way less than $6,000 to get laid (unless you’re “Client 9”), so believing that some guy’s going to fork over an engagement ring for you to spread your legs is straight foolishness.

In fact, even a BUSTED dude isn’t going to pay you that much for sex. There are lots of gals that look just like you and are broke as a joke, so if you think you’re going to blackmail him into marrying you with a sex embargo, you’ve got another thing coming. >:D

The other point I wanted to make about statements like this is that nobody believes you in the first place.

Political Correctness dictates that nobody calls you a BULL**** LIAR to your face, but nobody actually believes that you’re his best girlfriend without getting him off on a regular basis. Nobody believes you’re on the road to the riches without him test-driving the merchandise.

Maybe you’re saying your head-game is mad spiffy, but still.. Nobody’s taking your word that your personality and sparkling conversation is winning the day over all the other regular chicks AND GROUPIES that are swarming around this dude, trying to give him what he wants while you’re acting like your joint is filled with Pop Rocks.

And even if it *IS* filled with Pop Rocks, he wouldn’t know because you’ve never given him any, right?… Yeah.. Right! :/ Connect with Bill via Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, MySpace, Email Subscription, RSS Feed

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  1. Bill,
    I didn’t see the episode. But I feel absolutely certain that “he hasn’t made my hips spread yet” is not a sexual reference. It is an old wives’ tale that when a young woman becomes comfortable in her relationship with her man that she is going to put on weight. In her ass. Her hips are going to spread.
    I have heard many theories espoused about the Why. ONe woman informed me, at Isadora’s health club in Baton Rouge, circa 70’s, (I was an LSU model trying to stay at 104 pounds) that it was something in sperm which was actually responsible for this hip spread thing!
    I think she was saying that they were content and that this egregious thing that could happen, hadn’t. Yet. I think it is just as interesting a subject topic, if not more, than if she really hadn’t been laid by dude and said they were happy. Which, as you point out, is impossible.
    But you watched it and I didn’t. Do you think my interpretation is possible?
    Christine in the deep gothic South

    1. Interesting concept, Christine. 🙂 That’s similar to the concept that when two people date each other long enough, they start walking like each other, which I’ve seen with my own eyes, haha 😀

      However, I understand why that would be an old wives’ tale. The key word there is “comfortable”. That’s the lie in the story.

      In fact, what makes a woman’s hips spread in the way you’re mentioning is that her man is screwing her on a regular basis. That starts pushing hormones around and makes her into a differently-figured woman.

      This is what happens when gals are afraid to say they they **** their boyfriends. They try to write off a change in body-type as some supernatural ish, when it’s merely chemical and biological. If you hook up with a chick on a regular basis for long enough, you’ll change how her body looks unless someone changed it before you.

      This is actually a consideration in selecting a girlfriend (should a guy chose to select ONE, of course). You have to consider how her body’s going to change after you start hittin’ it.

      Having said all that, the gal was clearly trying to indicate that she hasn’t given him any yet. There’s nothing else that y’all can hold out on until you get a ring. It was obvious that she’s still skinny, as I mentioned in my post. It was obvious that she’s not pregnant. The only thing she has to possibly hold out from him is sex.

      That’s also the only thing she could get credit from her girlfriends for.. holding out sex. That implies that she has some sort of control over a guy without spreading her legs, which is bonus points in the game to them… Except for the fact that nobody believes her.

      Put it this way.. She has a certain look to her. She’s relatively attractive. A guy that can pull her can pull girls that look similar to her and DEFINITELY girls that aren’t as attractive. If dude likes her for a potential wife, all he has to do is keep NOT screwing her while he hooks up with any other gals he wants because she abdicated her position.

      She can say all she wants that she hasn’t caused him to get off. That has no bearing whatsoever on his ability to get his from other chicks. This is why some women think they’re on the fast track to being married and then the rug gets pulled out from under them when he bails out to pursue a relationship with the chick he’s been hooking up with the entire time she’s been frontin’ on doing what she’s supposed to be doing if she wants to be considered his woman, exclusively.

  2. Hi Bill:)

    In your previous posts you mention that women should state their values like who they are and show their personality before they have sex. But do you think if a woman choose to wait until marriage and tell him that she is attracted and want to take things slower and want to focus on an emotional connection would that make him trust her if she wants to wait until marriage as opposed to this another girl i get to have sex with who else she did this with or is she likely to cheat?? what do you think?

    1. Hey Jade. 🙂

      To be clear, what I actually said was that what’s going to DISTINGUISH one gal from the next is her personality and who she is as a person. It’s important for that to be expressed before y’all have sex JUST IN CASE dude doesn’t care to find out who you are after the fact. I think women should have sex whenever they FEEL LIKE having sex, haha, there aren’t any prerequisites that I recommend if she’s feelin’ it right now.

      Make sure you’re aware of the difference between “waiting for marriage” and “SAYING she’s waiting for marriage”. For instance, in the show, “Chicks That Basketball Players Screw, Season 02, Episode 01”, the chick said that she had considered holding out on sex from dude for a couple of months, but now, she’s thinking about waiting for a ring.

      This looks and feels completely differently from someone who, say, because of religious reasons has the actual CONVICTION to not have sex BEFORE she’s married, PERIOD.

      The first one is bartering & blackmail. The second is a statement of beliefs, and then it’s up to the dude to get with the program or bounce.

      So, it’s clear that the chick in the show isn’t a virgin. Therefore, “waiting until marriage” is blackmail. It’s not like she has anything to lose. It’s not like she’d be compromising her values by hooking up with him. She’s just saying “He can get THIS when he gives me THAT”.

      The only thing left to do in a relationship like that is either a) give her a ring so she spreads her legs, or b) keep stringing her along as the “girlfriend” while you screw chicks that want to hook up with you right now, and if she comes around, she comes around. \o/

      Saying she’s waiting for marriage doesn’t make that gal look trustworthy to that dude. She’s just stating her demands for the negotiation. Some guys are willing to negotiate for sex and others aren’t.

      In fact, y’all look even WORSE when you swear up and down that you’re not going to give it up until X happens and then X never happens, but you still give it up. 😀 Not ’till you’re married. Not ’till you get a ring. Not ’till he moves in with you. Not ’till he stops talking to other girls. Not ’till he lets you look in his phone… The problem with making ultimatums is that if you don’t stick with them, your word means nothing from then on.

      The other problem is that your body is doing something different from your mind, and a lot of women don’t get that. Y’all think you can SAY stuff and it actually means something to a guy when he can see you sweating him and wanting to hook up with him.

      You can say “I’m not having sex with you tonight” all you want, and then you’re hanging all over a dude the whole night like you’re dying to rip his clothes off. The person you’re denying is YOU, not HIM! 😀

      That’s pretty obvious, and The Game becomes “I can get that if XYZ”.. Put it this way… Women are like pitchers in a baseball game. You can stand there frontin’ and profilin’ all you want, but eventually, you have to throw the ball.

      I know you’re gonna throw the ball. That’s the only reason you’re standing there. If you weren’t going to throw it, you’d be removed from the game.

      When was the last time you saw a baseball game cancelled because the pitcher refused to throw the ball? Never. You’ve never even seen a game DELAYED, waiting for the pitcher to throw it. If the pitcher doesn’t throw, he gets removed from the game and a different pitcher is brought in to handle the business.

      It’s the same thing for women dealing with men. Sooner or later, you have to throw the ball. We know this. You’re going to throw it at me, or you’re going to throw it at some other guy. Eventually you’re going to throw it. The only question is what we have to do to make you throw it. If you never throw the ball, nothing ever happens in your life. Our lives go on as usual, so it doesn’t matter whether you pitch or you don’t. Some other chick most definitely will.

      So the answer to your question depends on context. By the time you’re talking about being in a relationship with a guy, you’re SAYING you’re going to have sex with him eventually. Otherwise, there’s no ‘relationship’ at all, you’re friends.

      He’s accepted considering being in a relationship with you because he likes the idea of having sex with you in the future. He’d do it right now. The only variable here is whatever it takes to get you to decide to get with the program.

      So if you’re falling all over dude and clearly dying to give him some and you’re sayin’ out yo mouf “I don’t want to have sex with you tonight” or “I only have sex with my boyfriend” or “I’m waiting until marriage” or “Take me shopping first”, none of that makes you look trustworthy or anything else. You’re merely stating your demands that you require in order to give him what you already want to give him.

      OTOH, if you have actual convictions that clearly emanate from your being and are congruent with what you’re saying, as long as a guy can receive that, I would think he’d have to respect that. That doesn’t mean he’s going to stop trying to hit it. 😀 I’m saying “Don’t TALK about it.. BE about it”.

      If you say nothing at all and your demeanor indicates that you’re not interested in having sex unless you’re in a committed relationship, that speaks for itself. If you SAY you’re looking for a relationship, but your demeanor indicates that you’re ready to give it up right now, you’re not going to get a lot of credit for that. If your way of being CHANGES, depending on which guy you’re talking to, guys that compare notes will be able to tell that you’re offering the same sex for different requirements.

      As far as what it takes to trust a female to not cheat? haha That’s a very interesting question. Unfortunately, I think that most times, the answer comes from projection. I think that lots of times, guys think “What would *I* do if the tables were turned?” and then since they know they’d try to hook up, they assume that their girlfriend or whatever would also.

      So you can be as ACTUALLY trustworthy as you want, but if the dude doesn’t trust himself around other women or he doesn’t trust women IN GENERAL to be faithful, there’s not necessarily a way around that other than dating a different dude.

        1. A lot of guys think they get faithful women just because they gave her a title or put a ring on their finger… In fact, if you don’t hannle yo bidnezz in the bedroom, someone else is going to hannle it FOR you.

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