I was having this conversation the other day and I happened to mention that I usually invite several females to the same party. The guy I was telling this to reacted in a shocked fashion, as if I had said something amazing, incredible, or what seemed to him to be a really bad idea.
In fact, it’s perfectly efficient to invite multiple women because some of them are going to decline the invitation. Some of them are going to flake out and not show up. Some are going to show up early and leave. Some are going to show up later. The only ‘trick’ to the technique is that you have to be sure that all of your invitees will get along, just in case they actually all DO show up (which never happens).
Another friend of mine was telling me that she doesn’t know a lot of people. I can’t relate to that because I’ve been popular since my earliest memories. I’ve always had a crowd of people that wanted to hang out with me, so the concept of knowing a static number of women is entirely foreign to me. I met my current best girlfriends during the last three years. I’m liable to make 3-4 new female friends every time I go somewhere, which is more than once a week. I’m very much used to, and I very much enjoy the NYC ‘revolving door’ lifestyle.
People come and people go. \o/ It’s no big deal. There are times people want to get together and times that they don’t. They’re in town or they’re not. They’re busy working or they’re not. Women achieve new boyfriends and then they break up and become single again. It is what it is… Until it isn’t. >:D
This is why a lot of what I have to say sounds ridiculous to people that are involved in a typical, static lifestyle. Just like I don’t understand them, they don’t understand me. I mean, I understand WHY they live they way they do, I just can’t explain my perspective to them properly because they have no point of reference.
One of the topics that’s been coming up a lot recently is what people “have to do” when they get involved in relationships. It’s really annoying to listen to, because, in fact, you don’t have to do ANYTHING in this life, other than die. All of these rules and regulations were made up by somebody and people choose to follow them, or, at least, they choose to FAKE following them in order to get the other person to do what they want them to do.
I think this is a foundational point to most of my blog posts. I’m not anti-relationships. I think relationships are fantastic and lovely when both people are on the same page and are working together as a team because they both want to. I’m rarely talking about those kinds of relationships in my posts.
What I’m usually talking about is how easy it is for people like myself, who have ZERO intention of doing anything other than exactly what I feel like doing at any given time, to fake being in a typical relationship with someone. I know the right things to say. I know the right things to do. If I wanted a girlfriend, I would have one within the hour. If I wanted her to claim me on Facebook, that would happen immediately.
What WOULDN’T happen is anything changing about the way I live my life. This is why I don’t bother handing out titles. I used to. I stopped.
In fact, if a gal wants me to do something other than what I personally feel like doing or what I elect to do for her of my own free will, she can go take a long walk on a short plank.
What’s going to happen after that is she’s going to bounce and some other chicks are going to receive the benefits of the time the exiting chick has freed up. I probably haven’t even met her replacement yet. Every few months, I meet a gal that becomes important to me. I really appreciate and admire her and I feel close to her and want the best for her.
A new gal usually starts cycling through boyfriends because I’m not offering her what she’s looking for, romantically. I’m completely used to and content with the ebb & flow of my relationships. At first, I wasn’t. If you stay in the game long enough, you begin to realize that you get the best things from women when they want to give those things to you and they truly want to be that person for you. If she’s dating some dude, she’s out of that mode with you and there’s nothing to be jealous about. Once that’s over, she changes back into that person who looks at you that certain way, touches you that certain way and means what she says to you.
Like I said.. This isn’t going to make any sense to people that never meet anyone new and who aren’t used to relationships starting and stopping on a regular basis. They’re ready to fall for the okey-doke of Relationship Blackmail because that’s the only way they know how to get what they want.
To me, it’s entirely incredible that there are dudes that catch flack from their women for LOOKING. AT. OTHER. WOMEN! :D It’s completely insane. What in the world makes women believe that a guy becomes attracted to only one woman because they agreed to date each other or give each other a title? What sense does that make? Do they expect their man not to eat unless she makes the dinner? Do they expect him not to go to the movies unless she tags along? Where did this come from? Who made this garbage up? \o/
Of course, the same thing goes for the guys. Who gives a flying **** if your girl thinks some guy is attractive, or looks at him, or talks to him, if she’s bringin’ that azz home to you every night? o_O
What difference does it make? If she’s a grown-ass-woman, she should be able to interact with other people without accidentally giving it up, or you shouldn’t be dating her in the first place, right?
If you were concerned that she was a ho, you shouldn’t have “wifed her up”, right?.. ok then. Give her some room to breathe and enjoy her life and react to her natural impulses.
It’s entirely ridiculous.. all these complaints about nothing:
- I saw a girl’s number in his phone
- I saw he was emailing with a girl
- I saw he was visiting a girl’s website
- I heard he was talking to a girl at the mall
- I heard she danced with a guy at the company party
- I heard she met a guy at the laundromat
- I found out that a guy slipped her his business card
And then, people throw away perfectly good relationships because of nonsense like this that doesn’t mean anything. Their excuse is “He KNEW he wasn’t allowed to do that! :O”. That’s the entire problem with blackmail. Who the **** are you to tell me what I’M allowed to do with my own life?
That’s what guys would LIKE to say, but they know they wouldn’t get laid after that, which was the entire point of the relationship in the first place, so they just stay shut and apologize and call their actions “a mistake” and buy flowers & candy and get their SUV windows smashed out by golf clubs at 2am…
Unless, of course, they’re Chris Brown or Mel Gibson.
So I steer clear of all this ridiculousness and “Keep it 100″, as they like to say now.
You’re not going to blackmail me. You don’t have anything that I want enough to trade you *any* of my rights. We’ll do whatever we both agree to do together. Keep my business out tha street. I’ll do the same with yours. When you’re into something else, I’ll respect that. When you’re finished playing games with that Herb, we’ll pick up where we left off.
Don’t ask me where I was. Don’t ask me who I was talking to. Don’t ask me what we did. Don’t ask me whose number is in my phone. I’m here right now. Let’s enjoy our time together or not spend time together at all. I’m not playing these “relationship” games with you. It ain’t that type-a party.
Of course, I can afford this because I’m going to meet new girls tomorrow. The rest of y’all should stick to the flowers & candy.
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