Jersey Shore Double-Header [Part 02]

Part 02 of this week’s Jersey Shore double-header starts off with Jenni calling her boyfriend, apologizing to him for not calling him the night before.

According to the edit, she had spent the night before kickin’ it with her ex-boyfriend, Roger, and partying all night, like she’s supposed to when she’s on vacation “down the shore”.

When he asks her why she didn’t call him, she starts sobbing about Nicole getting arrested, which happened the day AFTER she was supposed to call her boyfriend. He justifiably says “So, she got arrested today… ok.. so then WHAT THE **** HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?”, causing Jenni to counter with anger that he doesn’t give a damn that a girl that he doesn’t give a damn about got arrested.

I find this phenomenon fascinating. Women tend to actually believe that men care about the same things they do. They also believe we want to HEAR ABOUT things we didn’t ask them about, such as “My girlfriend got arrested for being a drunken nuisance in broad daylight and cursing at cops that were already escorting her by her arms”. Who cares about that? Seriously. 😀 Nobody cares. It’s a waste of time. The best you can hope for is that after you ramble on, incessantly, he says “welp.. Sucks to be her. \o/” and gets back to important topics, such as how come his girlfriend didn’t call him last night, which would have indicated that she wasn’t partying with her ex-boyfriend Roger.

Jenni’s confessional response is “Don’t think that me not calling the night before is priority over Nicole getting arrested right now”. That’s absolutely ridiculous. Who cares if Nicole got arrested? That has NOTHING to do with his life. He’s not dating her. He’s not ******* her, so what difference does it make TO HIM if Nicole is in jail?

What *IS* priority is that the girl that he IS dating and that he IS ******* might be hooking up with some other dude instead of calling her boyfriend like she was supposed to. She agreed to it. She failed to live up to her agreement. THAT is priority over some chick that means nothing to her boyfriend being arrested.

Situations like this are partially the guy’s fault as well. If you don’t tell chicks the first time they start babbling about their personal drama that you don’t want to hear it, they keep coming back to you with it and you have to pretend to listen to them while you’re watching the game.

The reason Jenni thinks that her boyfriend cares about or even wants to HEAR ABOUT what happened to some chick he’s not hooking up with is that he never told her he doesn’t give a flying ****.

MVP&D

MVP is Mike, Vinny, Pauly.. The three guys that go out hunting, since Ronnie took himself out of the game, almost from day 01.

Deena, who Vinny was scheming on in the hot tub and then who’s been throwing sex at Mike every week that he refuses to take, wants to go out partying with both of them and Pauly.

It was a vote of confidence that they let her hang out with them in the first place. The previous time she had been to a bar with the whole group, she got too drunk and was ejected from the club. It’s no fun, having to babysit a chick while you’re trying to meet OTHER chicks, so they could have just said “Nah.. Seeya when I Seeya!”

Immediately, Deena makes herself useful by chatting up other chicks. The easiest way to get girls is to have other girls get them for you. Let this be a lesson, ladies.. If you want to be near and dear to your homeboy’s hearts, introduce them to attractive women. >:D

Of course, the gals chatting together turns into dancing together and then feeling each other up and then drinking alcohol off of each other’s bodies and then making out with each other, because, you know… that’s what women do.

Pauly summed up the experience perfectly in his confessional:

“When we’re rollin’ MVP, we don’t want ANYBODY ELSE rollin’ with us, really… *BUT*… On the other hand, Deena, she has a nice attitude, she never cockblocks, she never hates on us, she does her own thing, and she’s a good time. We like hangin’ with her, so she’s welcome to hang with MVP whenever she wants.”

The Kid couldn’t have said it better, myself. If y’all ladies want to know why some gals get invited everywhere and anywhere, THIS is why. It’s not because they’re givin’ it up (I mean, it COULD BE, haha but not necessarily). It’s not because they’re the best looking chicks. It’s not because they’re the best dancers or have the fattest asses. It’s because we’re guaranteed that bringing her along is going to 100% add to the fun of the situation, she’s a good time, and she’s welcome to hang with us whenever she wants.

Too Late For Truth

So Deena meets this guy in the club. She dances with him, gives him compliments, holds hands with him, introduces him to her male roommates, has some drinks with him, and ends up inviting him home to get in the hot tub.

When they get home and Deena goes to change into her bikini & cowboy hat, the roommates HAPPEN to take the guy upstairs because he looks just like Ronnie. They HAPPEN to know each other, and Ronnie, not knowing why the guy was in the house (to bang Deena) says “His girlfriend’s name is Sam, too”, which the guy begins to confirm, and then suddenly realizes he’s on camera, hahaha.

Fortunately for him, the camera crew isn’t allowed to snitch. Of course, the fellaz weren’t going to say anything, because bros before hoes. Sammi was oblivious to the situation, whether she would have told Deena or not.

So dude goes back downstairs, Deena invites him into the hot tub, calls him cute, says he’s her perfect guy, gives him more compliments, and then asks.. “Ya got a girlfriend?”

hehehe TOO LATE! 😀 .. TOO LATE!!! 😀

The time to request the truth from a dude is *BEFORE* you do all that preliminary hookup stuff with him. The closer he gets to stickin’ it, the less truth you’re gonna get.

By the time he’s in the hot tub with you, gawking at your bikini, you may as well not even speak, because if he responds at all, you’re only going to hear whatever he feels is going to keep him on the right track to getting laid.

So, after dude obviously fumbles the lie and Deena calls him on it, for some odd reason (read: She was horny), she keeps asking him the same question over and over until he replies “I am single as they come… For real… And if I did have a girl, I wouldn’t be here right now, with you.” haha LIES, LIES, LIES!.. Anyway, so right after coaching him to the correct response, Deena starts making out with him, which is what she had wanted to do this whole time, so she shouldn’t have bothered fronting with the ‘girlfriend’ line of questioning.

Where was the concern about whether he had a girlfriend or not this whole time? Nowhere. Leave it out of the conversation. If he hasn’t volunteered the truth, he’s not going to say “HOLD IT, HOLD IT, WAIT!… I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!!! :O”. It’s not gonna happen. Either ask dudes up front, when you first decide to kick it with them or let it ride.

Unfortunately for him, Sammi was there when he was leaving in the morning and saw him kiss Deena goodbye. That’s when Sammi told her that she’s seen that guy’s girlfriend five times! HAHAHA and then Deena actually looked SURPRISED that dude had a girlfriend. She countered with the typical war stories about the dude did things to her, but she didn’t do anything sexual to or for him. Yeah.. ok. 😉

Beggars And Choosers

Jenni’s homegirl, Lauren fesses up that she was wrong about Roger having a girlfriend. Jenni says she wants to start fresh with Roger, and see where it goes. This is an interesting statement, considering she still has a “boyfriend” at home. I wonder how people justify carrying on overlapping relationships when they would be bitchin’ and moanin’ if their SO had done that to them. o_O

So then, after the club, it’s time for the babysitter check-in call with her boyfriend.. the one that lives IN HER HOUSE, not the one that’s there vacationing with her down the shore. He asks her “How was your night?”, to which, she replies “It was fine”, not mentioning the first thing about cold lampin’ with Roger, starting fresh, and seeing where it goes.

This is like the male version of “Don’t ask about significant others late in the game”. It’s called “Don’t ask your girl what she did when you weren’t there”. Don’t bother. It’s too easy for her to lie to you. The more you fall for it, the more confident she gets with her lies. Roger could have been sitting right next to her and she would have acted and sounded the exact same way, like nothing happened, so don’t bother.

The conversation turns into an argument when he calls her a bitch and Jenni says “That’s why I’m leaving your ass”….. conveniently AFTER she hangs up the phone and he can’t hear her.

The next day, she tells her boyfriend she’s going to the boardwalk and leaves out the fact that she’s going double-dating with Deena, Roger and a friend of his. I actually was amused by all this time Jenni was spending with Roger in public, considering how in the very first season, she got BUSTED for grinding with Pauly because her boyfriend’s friend spotted them at the club and told his boy what time it was.

Meanwhile, Jenni utilizes her treachery to pull off a good deed. She gets Roger to bring a homeboy of his to meet Nicole. Her thirsty ass is all glad to meet him, yet she ridiculously mentions that he’s Irish… She says “I kind of like all Italian, but we’ll mix it up.”

First of all, beggars can’t be choosers. Second, what the **** is she talking about, because Nicole isn’t Italian. She’s from Santiago, Chile and was adopted by Italian parents. Holy Identity Crisis, Batman! 😀 I don’t even know how she could bring that up when she’s so starving for a dude. That’s like someone bringing her water when she’s crawling and dying of thirst in the desert, and she goes “I prefer Apple Juice”….. GEEEEEEEEET the **** outta here! 😀

Of course, Irish or not, she ended up under him, later that same evening.

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3 Comments

    1. hehe Thanks, Steph. Glad you’re enjoying! 😀

      According to the coming attractions, Ronnie’s going to get slapped up by Sammi this week, so hold on to your hat for the next summary!!! >:D

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