Readers Greg, Stephanie & Calandra requested this week’s Jersey Shore rundown, so here it is… >:D
I’ve got to say up front that this episode was really very good. I was surprised at how much good content they packed into one episode, as the shows have been inconsistent so far this season.
It starts off with Jenni sobbing over the aftermath of her breakup with her “boyfriend”. I have sympathy and all that, but that’s what happens when you break up with someone that lives *IN* your house while they’re still there and you aren’t. \o/
Moving on to important things… Nicole’s best friend, Ryder, arrives at the crib.
I had been looking forward to this, as Vinny had cleared Nicole off his dilznick so he could hook up with her friends without upsetting her.
I expected him to jump Ryder’s bones tout de suite (Which is French for “Quick, Fast, In A Hurry, Flavor’s Vision Ain’t Blurry), and it was perfect that Nicole was in Long Island with Jenni when Ryder arrived so Vinny could have smashed that right quick on the sneak tip.
I was immediately let down as Vinny says in his confessional “Nicole gave me strict instructions, do not have sex with my best friend”. In fact, I was confused.
If Vinny was going to agree not to screw her friends, what was the point of not kissing Nicole in the hot tub? o_O .. Not that ANYBODY would want to kiss Nicole in a hot tub, but I’m saying that Vinny already hooked up with her, so he has nothing to lose in the props department anymore. There’s pretty much nowhere to go but up.
I actually gave Vinny props a few weeks ago for handling the Nicole situation so well that he set himself up perfectly to screw all her friends (again). I had been looking forward to that resulting in Vinny tagging up on Ryder as soon as she walked through the door, if not sooner. According to the edit, it never happened.
Of course, there’s a lot of footage that MTV never shows, so maybe Vinny figured out how to tap that on the sneaks and set it up with Ryder ahead of time to look like nothing was going to happen. I mean, he already hit it. He obviously has her contact information. It’s easy enough to play it off when you’re sitting right next to a chick you’re hooking up with and you don’t want other people in your business.
Either way, it doesn’t make any sense. If Nicole’s enough of a grown-ass-woman to drunkenly curse at the cops and get herself arrested then she’s enough of a grown-ass-woman to STFU and not complain about Vinny slaying her girlfriends left and right while Nicole cain’t get none.
Wasn’t she just showing off her vibrator collection in the season premiere? o_O
Locks & C-Sections
- Jenni & Nicole change the locks on Jenni’s house as if she has bars on her windows or the sliding screen door in the back that would prevent her ex from entering the house at will.
- Deena & Ryder go get drunk in the daytime (one of The Kid‘s favorite pastimes!) and walk around the boardwalk holding hands, because.. that’s what females do.
So the crew goes out to club Karma and then they show Ronnie dancing. I’m like “Good. Finally, we get Ronnie back in the game, and…” The next thing they show is Sammi peering over like a gargoyle perched on a roof, and I’m like “WTF is SHE looking at?” because last I understood, Ronnie had broken up with her.
In that last episode, Sammi had been saying that even if they’re not together, they share a bond blah blah blah and I was like out with the old, in with the new, good riddance to bad garbage and I thought we were going to see a challenge to Vinny’s crown…. nope. :/
Sammi heads on over when she sees Vinny talking to a girl, which is obviously outside the limits of his rights as a human being and asks who she is. This was my SECOND deflation of the episode, because I thought we were through with her. I thought she had been relegated to nothingness by alienating everyone in the house and then having her relationship dissolve, meaning that she wasn’t going to get any more airtime on the show, laying around in bed all day like she loves to do, and would effectively been erased from the footage.
Ronnie actually explains to her who the girl is, as if it’s any of Sammi’s business. It turns out that it’s his friend’s babymama. He offers to bring the girl over so she can show Sammi her c-section scar. :/
So much for Ronnie. Right back off the map. No dap. No credit. No props. Done. #4 out of 4. Stuck in the cellar… Which I suppose is better than Trapped in the closet, but not by much, if at all.
I really wish I didn’t have to mention Ronnie’s name again as he has the most potential and wastes it every episode, but since Sammi actually punched him in the face with a closed fist later, instead of slapping him, as I had assumed she did from the coming attractions, I have no choice but to come back to this situation. :/
Aww HELLLLLZ NAW! :/
Still at club Karma, Vinny meets this chick named Gina. As soon as I saw her face, I was like “What’s SHE doing there?” She just doesn’t have the same look as the chicks these guys normally bag. She was too happy, not drunk enough, and really immediately seemed to not be a part of that party scene to me. Not that I go to those types of clubs in those types of neighborhoods, but I’m saying she looked out of place for what I’ve seen so far, having seen every episode of Jersey Shore.
Next, the edit jumps to her introducing Vinny to her male cousin. Next, Vinny says “You got guys following you left and right, I don’t know…”. Next, another guy requests to meet Vinny and ends up telling him to his face “Take her home? You’re not getting laid. You might be able to cuddle, but that’s about it”.
Personally.. That’s when The Kid would have collected her contact information and told that chick SHALOM! >:D
Shalom is Yiddish for GOODBYE!.. PEACE!.. ARRIVEDERCI!.. Don’t let the door HIT’CHA where the Good Lord SPLIT’CHA!
It’s tough enough to get a rap when there are other dudes that don’t know a chick that are trying to kick it to her too. It’s tougher when there are dudes that already hit it and are trying to hook up with her again. It’s tougher than that when there are male friends of hers and she’s there in a mixed group. It’s toughEST when she’s there with male FAMILY MEMBERS who were sent out the door with the orders not to let this chick give it up.
**** That! 😀 haha It’s not worth the time. Oh.. I just started the show up again. He was ALSO introduced to her uncle. Vinny was introduced to a girl’s mother’s brother AT a nightclub. Not good. Bounce. If she wants to come meet up with you on her own, like a grown-ass-woman, that’s a different story. This situation was jacked from the giddyap, but I definitely give Vinny props for inviting her back to the house anyway. It wasn’t the smart move or the high-percentage play, but it made for good television.
Vinny says “In a way, you gotta respect the protection, but at the same time, it IS a cockblock”. um… DAMN SKIPPY it’s a cockblock! 😀 It’s supposed to be.
You have to respect the protection because they’re doing the right thing. If more girls went partying with several male family members, fewer of them would get pumped & dumped on a nightly basis.
In fact, what Vinny should have done is exchange information with her and then loudly leave the club without her, saying good night to her entire entourage. *HER* job would have been to go home with her family and meet up with him later at the crib.
Of course, Vinny would have wanted to have bagged a couple more chicks for the evening before he left, just in case she flaked or wasn’t able to come see him that evening. That’s what the Grenade Whistle’s for. If she would have shown up, Pauly could have distracted her while Vinny ejected the just-in-case chick out the back exit.