Jersey Shore s03 e07 [Part 01]

“Jersey Shore”, Season 03, Episode 07 was entirely painful to watch. 🙂

I mean, I really didn’t want to watch some of it. I wanted to fast-forward to another section, but I really needed to absorb all of the tomfoolery in order to get a proper grasp on what I feel happened.

Where’s The Disclaimer?

First of all, right off the bat.. MTV has done it again, completely whitewashing Female -> Male violence… AGAIN. I was already tired of this, as I’ve mentioned in previous posts, but the saga continues.

Ronnie, of course, was in the wrong for starting to throw Sammi’s things around before and after she told him not to touch her stuff. ~22 minutes into the program, Mike says “I’ve seen them, obviously, fight before, but this one was pretty serious” in his confessional and then it cuts to a scene where Ronnie’s touching the left side of his face, and says to Sammi “Touch my face again!”, while Mike’s suddenly trying to usher him out of the room. The next scene is Ronnie fixing his hair.

I don’t see how with at least two cameras, and maybe three filming one scene, that a) they didn’t catch whatever Sammi did to Ronnie on tape, b) they didn’t have Mike say what happened in his confessional, because he was right there, and/or c) they didn’t have Ronnie say what happened in his confessional, because it happened to him.

~28 Minutes into the show, Vinny’s watching Ronnie throw Sammi’s things around, and Ronnie says “You know what? **** this *****, Putting your ******* hands on me? I told you if you ever put your ******* hands on me again… if you ever put your ******* hands on me again… **** OUTTA HERE! :/”. He keeps ranting, which sounds like the editors looped what he said and played it again while Sammi’s belongings were flying out the door onto the porch.

This seems like the raving of a lunatic, because MTV elected not to show Sammi putting her hands on Ronnie, AGAIN, and if they honestly didn’t get the footage, they elected not to fill in that very important blank by having people talk about it in confessionals, which is how they fill in the blanks and write storylines for “reality” shows.

Yes.. There are WRITERS for “reality” shows.

The reason I keep bringing this up isn’t for “Men’s Rights” of some kind. It’s because ‘reporting’ like this gives females an incorrect idea of what can and often DOES happen to them for putting their hands on guys when cameras aren’t rolling and the guy isn’t under contract not to punch your lights out.

If Sammi had thought for one split second that Ronnie might have punched HER in the face right after she punched HIM in the face, she wouldn’t have done it. She didn’t look for one split second like she was willing to take damage in a “fair fight” (which it wouldn’t have been, because obviously, Ronnie’s way more athletic than Sammi is, even though she appears to be taller than he is) with Ronnie. This means that she should have kept her hands to herself.

Not that it’s a good look for Ronnie, throwing another person’s belongings around like as if he had bought them himself.. he looks rather pathetic doing that, actually… But when MTV paints Sammi to have done nothing at all, when she had previously punched Ronnie in his face and apologized (I believe I saw that) for hitting him and he most likely had a DO. NOT. PUNCH. ME. IN. MY. FACE. EVER. AGAIN. conversation with her, which she agreed to, except now, she’s accosted him again.

Beef & Drinks

One of the problems with these “reality” shows is that all of these people are getting money to be there. They all signed contracts that say stuff like “If I hit someone, I can be thrown off the show”. I think this fact escapes a lot of television viewers.

The reason this is important is that you’re only seeing a limited range of reactions from people on televison, and in the real world, you could get something completely different and most definitely worse for doing the exact same thing.

An example is that there is now an epidemic of drink-throwing on television. Did you notice that? 😀 haha That’s because everybody signed agreements that they take a loss if they HIT someone, but nobody signed an agreement not to throw liquid on someone.

Throwing drinks, specifically, sticky ones, like the orange juice and cranberry juice that they give you to mix with the $30 bottles of vodka that you paid $300 for as a part of “table service” in the club, is perfectly disrespectful, might mess up someone’s look for the evening, will certainly get them upset and MIGHT COULD get THEM to punch YOU in the face, causing them to be ejected from the show.

In the real world, if you throw a drink on someone, you’re getting elbowed in your face and going to the hospital. Period.

This is one of the reasons I enjoy watching shows like this. I like seeing how people adapt to their current environment. I like knowing that when people are in jail and not allowed to have money, they use cigarettes and food as currency. I like knowing that when you separate ethnic groups, it’s easy to convince kids that they dislike people with another skin color, even though THEY DON’T KNOW anyone with another skin color. I like knowing that it’s possible that liquid is going to be flying around if I’m in a club or a bar, because they saw people get away with it on “Bad Girls Club” or “The Real World”.

Character & Consequences

I’ve been wondering for a long time what the hell is wrong with people these days. I think I’m starting to get it. People, nowadays, lack CHARACTER, because they don’t go through any character-building experiences. Everything they do is virtual and has no real consequence. They start believing their own hype because they live in their own little fake worlds where they’re the stars of something.

I first noticed this in the video game world. Dudes that play games talk all kinds of yang to each other because they know that nobody knows who they are or where they live. Put those same dudes in the real world, in front of a guy that’s ready, willing and able to smash their ******* faces in, and you’re not going to hear a single peep out of them.

This way of being has now made it onto television. You can do anything you want to people on “reality” shows, because they’re prohibited by their contracts from decking you… unless they’re females, of course.

Vinny can’t tell Mike “I’m gonna drop you the next time you try to steal one of my girls”. Ronnie can’t tell Mike “I’m gonna drop you next time you wake my girlfriend up and point out to her that I’m socializing with Jenni so she comes downstairs and punches me in my face”. This prompts Mike to keep gossiping about and snitching on people, because there aren’t any consequences to his actions.

Jenni feels free to spinning back-fist Mike in his face, because there aren’t any consequences to that.

Sammi feels free to punch Ronnie in his face, because there aren’t any consequences.

Ronnie feels free to destroy a bunch of Sammi’s property that he didn’t pay for himself, because there aren’t any consequences.

The cast members break doors, beds and trash the house because MTV’s going to pay for it.

Nicole goofs off at work at the t-shirt shop because she’s a star now, and can’t get kicked off the show for not working, like Angelina.

This also sets up another problem, which is people creating fake relationships with people and maintaining them until the slightest issue comes between them.

Mike claims to be Ronnie’s friend, but violates “guy code” anytime he feels like it so he can get his gossip&snitch on. This is because the concept of “friends” is just a word these days. All it means is “I’m cool with that person”. It doesn’t have anything to do with trust, honesty or alliance.

It doesn’t make any sense that after all the stuff that Sammi, Nicole & Jenni said about each other that it can be patched up by Sammi apologizing to Nicole. That’s the BEGINNING of fixing a relationship, not the ACTUAL FIX! :/

Anyway… from the general to the particular…


BitchassnessRight off the bat, Mikey-TMZ gets busy with the gossiping and instigating. He tells Sammi “You and Ron had so much drama in Miami that it’s never going to get better.”

First of all, he doesn’t own a crystal ball that tells him whether something’s going to get better or not. Second of all, he should mind his own ******* business. Third, according to “guy code”, he should be either saying things that help Ronnie get laid or he should be shutting the **** up.

The obvious problem here is that Mike was the first one to kick it to Sammi at the beginning of season 01. Mike was also the guy that concealed Sammi’s shenanigans from Ronnie, who only found out at the reunion that a) Sammi had been talking to another guy behind his back, and b) Mike was facilitating the situation.

Mike and Ronnie aren’t friends. They’re actually rivals. Mike is also a rival to Vinny, as he keeps trying to steal his chicks and used to get away with it before Vinny made a come-up during the last six months. Unfortunately for Ronnie, he easily falls for the okey-doke of Mike saying that they’re friends, even though his actions consistently and clearly show that he isn’t.

Sammi isn’t smart enough to realize that Mike isn’t HER friend either. He’s not trying to help her by bringing this stuff up. He’s trying go get her to break up with Ronnie, creating Single Ronnie that everyone wants to see back in action, including The Kid.

If Ronnie & Sammi break up, Mike gets his prime wingman back, which means more girls for Mike. That’s the WIN here. The other win, of course, is seeing the end come to the relationship between them, which would have never occurred if Mike had sold out before Ronnie and kept Sammi in deep check.

Ron calls it properly that Mike’s playing both sides, but fails to do anything about it. This is that lack of character I was talking about. What should have immediately happened is Ron should have walked out of the bathroom and told Mike to butt the **** out of his relationship and stop undermining him with his girlfriend. That didn’t happen.

Please Stop Trying To Drink And Think

Ron & Pauly hit the boardwalk. Sammi and Deena also hit the boardwalk, except they start drinking alcohol.

Pauly & Ron walk past Sammi & Deena BY THEMSELVES… WITH NO GIRLS… and Sammi goes “I think he was with a girl”. :/

This is the beginning of the end of the entire episode. What THE **** was she looking at? Probably nothing, because Sammi’s mind has been playing tricks on her for months.

Even if he HAD been walking with a girl, mind your ******* business. You’re not his mother. You’re his girlfriend. Play your position. You don’t get to tell a grown-ass man who he can hang out with or talk to, and you don’t get to punch him in the face when he doesn’t do what you ordered him to do.

Sammi’s response to her delusional disorder is to tell some dude she doesn’t even know to come over. This is where I heard the most pathetic confessional in the history of “Jersey Shore”. Sammi goes “You want to play that game, I’m gonna go out there and I’m gonna find the hottest guy in this bar and get Ron back for talking to a girl”. She said it like she was dropping science. She was positive that a) she was doing the right thing for herself, and b) that this was going to be an effective tactic to hurt Ron. I watched this several times, because it was so incredibly juvenile and elementary-school-playgroundish.

Let me give y’all females a tip… When you spend an entire year, 365 days, sweating ONE DUDE, Nobody Believes You when you turn around and pretend to throw sex at the next man. You’re not fooling anybody, not even yourselves. If that’s what you wanted to do, you would have done it BEFORE. If Sammi wanted to kick it with any guy OTHER than Ronnie, the time to do that would have been right after she had been informed that Ronnie was cheating on her and he confirmed it.

Of course… 30 minutes later, I was sitting there with my head in my hands after Ronnie trashed all of Sammi’s belongings and cried in the bathroom all night because she had danced with a guy in front of his face. :/

As they’re leaving the bar, Sammi says “**** Ron.. I just found my new boyfriend”. Pathetic. Once again… If you’re the type of person to be jocking some dude for a full year, you’re also *NOT* the type of person to STOP JOCKING HIM 15 seconds after seeing him walking with a girl, which he wasn’t because you’re a psycho and you can’t see straight when you’re drinking.

Nobody. Believes. You. that you’re going to give sex to this dude that you met in a bar in the daytime on the boardwalk at Seaside Heights. This is another symptom of that lack of character that permeates society these days. People think they can redefine themselves on the fly. It doesn’t work like that. The only people that fall for that are head-cases like you.

Jedi Mind Trick

Next, Ronnie makes a scene, talking about what he’s going to say to Mike. This is ridiculous, because he should have said it to Mike WHEN. HE. HEARD. IT.

Mike comes in, and instead of telling him “Dude. Stop ******* up my program with my girl. Stop talking to her. Get off that girl-code **** and act right”, Ronnie says some passive-aggressive line about Mike being Sammi’s friend.

Since Ronnie wasn’t drinking, this leads me to believe that he already forgot the footage that he saw on the first reunion show that had him ready to cry. Mike has been in cahoots with Sammi this entire time, as the videos revealed. Similarly, Jenni has been in cahoots with Ronnie this whole time, but played it off like she was supposed to so Ronnie wouldn’t get in trouble with Sammi. Accusing Mike of being friends with Sammi is like year-old news already and certainly doesn’t approach “Putting him in his place”, like Ron had claimed he was going to do.

Now.. The funniest thing about Ronnie, which we see in his interactions with Sammi and now in his “argument” with Mike, is that he’s not good with… talking. He’s good with sounding upset and speaking loudly and waving his arms around, but when it comes to the technical issues, he’s lost every discussion I’ve ever seen him have.

Ron has SEEN THE VIDEO TAPE of Mike confirming to Sammi that what Nicole & Jenni wrote in the note was true. He’s seen Mike rat him out with his own eyes and heard it with his own ears. There’s nothing to discuss here. Somehow, Ronnie gets talked out of his argument. o_O

After protesting that he’s never stabbed Ronnie in the back (which everybody with a television knows that he has, repeatedly… and stabbed Vinny too.. repeatedly), Mike fakes him out by apologizing.

Mike says “You know what? I’ll be honest with you right now. I’m gonna say I’m wrong”, and all of a sudden, Ron doesn’t have anything left to say. I couldn’t believe it. Pauly called this perfectly when he said “I’m definitely surprised Mike & Ronnie are hugging it out after this big, heated argument they just had. I dunno.. Maybe Mike gave him some, like, voodoo trick or something like that to avoid getting his ass kicked by Ronnie, I dunno.. But I think Mike was just apologizing just to shut Ronnie up, and it worked”.

I’m sorry… If I were one of these relationship-people, and some dude that was supposed to be a friend of mine told my girl “I saw The Kid playing you dirty” and then I found out that the dude said that and then I passively-aggressively confronted him about it and he apologized, that doesn’t get him back on Friend Status. Apologizing doesn’t un-ring the bell. You still snitched on me. You still created an obstacle for me to get over in relating to this chick. You’re not saying “I lied about that and never saw him do that”. You’re saying “According to ‘guy code’, I was wrong for ratting you out to this chick”. Everybody already knows that you were wrong.

The funniest part for me about that was that the apology came right in front of Sammi. Mike basically said “Yeah.. You’re right.. I should never have confirmed to this chick right here that you were making out with several chicks simultaneously at the club before coming home and climbing into bed with her to get your night’s sex”. Ultimately, nothing’s going to be different, because Ronnie’s contract precludes him from decking Mike for being nosey, so Mike will remain the Porch-Lady House Gossip.


Jenni goes on a date with Roger to this Mexican spot. Dudes keep coming by and saying hi to him, haha 😀 She’s clearly not used to dating internet famous, or, in Roger’s case, locally famous people, because she’s frustrated by the constant interruptions.

This makes sense because the dude she used to go out with seemed to keep to himself. In contrast.. Everybody that knows me knows that I have 2,600 Facebook Friends, and depending on how large the party is, I’m liable to know 80 people in the same room with us. The entire night is non-stop meeting, greeting & chatting.

The only time it’s not like that is when we go off the grid for a #NOBLOG event where we specifically sequester ourselves so we can spend quality time together.

Another problem for Jenni is that if she decides to get slick in an upcoming episode and play Roger dirty, there are a lot of people that know she’s with him now, so all eyes are on her. >:D

How Could You Lie To Me?

In a question that’s heard by men around the world at least once every single day, Sammi asks Ronnie “How could you sit there and look me in the face, watch me cry and lie to my face?”.. The answer, ladies, is “If I had told you the truth, you would have stopped giving it up… so **** that.”

Ronnie, who can always make an argument sound passionate, yet never intelligent, goes “I have enough respect and love for you to ******* admit what I did was ******* wrong and shameful and disrespectful.” um… What? 😀

First of all, you didn’t admit it until Nicole & Jenni snitched on you. Actually, you STILL denied it, initially. Unfortunately, he didn’t learn anything from getting SERVED by Mike, or else he would have said “You know what, Sammi.. I’m gonna be honest with you right now. I was wrong”, and then they would have hugged it out and he could have screwed her as usual.

Instead of doing that, he justifies his cheating by saying “Be a woman and man up for your **** for once. I had a REASON to **** on you in Miami. Realize That!”. This isn’t a high-percentage play, actually. 😀 It’s rare that when a female says “You cheated on me!”, telling her “You deserved it!” gets her to STFU and spread her legs, which, of course, is your goal in speaking to her at all.

Sammi follows up with “You embarrassed ME! You don’t deserve somebody like ME!”.. This is where I wish MTV wouldn’t edit this show so much, because I was looking forward to Sammi listing the qualities that make her “Somebody like ME”. Somebody like what? o_O A chick that hits a dude for being friends with another chick? A chick that starts flirting with guys in a bar because she drunkenly, mistakenly thinks she saw her boyfriend walking with another girl on the boardwalk? A chick that won’t STFU when men are arguing, causing her boyfriend to get into not one but TWO fights, the second of which, he got arrested for? A chick that can’t cook White Castle burgers or anything else for that matter? (which came up later) A chick that’s constantly depressed and laying around in bed instead of going to clubs? A chick that hands out orders to a grown-ass man about what he can and can’t do like as if he’s a kid on a field trip? What exactly is she claiming that her redeeming qualities are?

This is where I finally thought Ronnie was going to snap out of this. He goes “You know what? I can’t do this. This is, what? The seventh day we fought in a row? How about You do you. I’ll do me. You should be happy. You ruined your time in Miami. Don’t ruin your time here. So, you know what? This conversation’s over. We’re done. Leave it at that!”. I was like “YES!.. THANK YOU!!!.. FINALLY!!! :D”…

Little did I know the problems between these two were just starting, not ending. :/

Continued in Part 02 Connect with Bill via Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, MySpace, Email Subscription, RSS Feed

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