A reader recently left this comment on my blog:
I only had a problem with one thing you said:
“I’m not famous. I can pull chicks just by walking into a party. I can go +4 or +5 on Facebook (exchange contact information) in less than an hour.”
YEAH RIGHT Bill.
I don’t have 2,687 Facebook Friends because I meet people one at a time.
Also, I didn’t make that statement to say something about myself.
I don’t have to talk about myself. I already know what I can do and what I’ve already done.
I was making the point that it’s literally impossible that the guys on Jersey Shore are pulling FEWER chicks now than they pulled last year, when they were absolute nobodies.
MTV turned Jersey Shore into a chick-flick, so they’re hiding the action by editing out all the scenes where the guys get on.
Anyway.. The commenter brings up a valid point, so let me explain what I’m talking about…
Trial & Error
Back in the day… I mean WAAAAAAY back in the day, I used to use the same style that everybody else uses. You go to a party, figure out the order of chicks you’d like to kick it to, and then throw your hat in the ring from the top down.
That part is still in effect. What’s NOT in effect is that once I got a rap to a gal as I was cascading down the list, I’d hang on to that rap for dear life! 😀 haha
You’ve seen those guys… Every time you see them, they’re *STILL* talking to the same chick that they just met, as if they had come to the party together. Back in the day, I would have said that guy was getting a successful rap. Now, I would say he’s putting all his eggs in one basket and minimizing his chances of having a good night… His entire productivity for the evening is dependent on that one girl feeling like hooking up with him.
I think this started to change for me once I realized that there was a flow to parties… The “make a list” style only works when *ALL* the women show up at the same time. The worst thing on the planet is when you’re entrenched in talking to one chick and you’re focusing on her like you want to hook up with her tonight, and then a better chick arrives late to the party, and you’re like “DAMN!!! :/ .. How do I get out of talking to this one?” because the new gal ranks higher than the one you’re currently kickin’ it with.
After having that happen a few times, it was time to go back to the drawing board and figure out a new plan… I needed to have a way for my rap to be flexible, so I could bounce from chick to chick as the situation dictated.
This is why I understand what the commenter wrote. It could have been a female, but I doubt it, so I’ll say that “he” read my statement in the context of how the Average Joe tries to get girls, in which case, the concept of meeting and “booking” (getting contact information for) several chicks within one hour seems like a ridiculous statement.
Returning to the lab.. I was wondering how in the hell I was going to maintain intensity, yet add flexibility to my rap. The answer arrived not in analyzing what I was saying or doing, but in noticing how I was treating time the same way, when it’s actually different.
I was treating time at a party the same way as I was treating time that I was working or time that I was eating dinner, which is absolutely wrong… There aren’t a bunch of chicks around when I’m working, eating or sleeping, so my style needed to be different under different circumstances.
Same thing with the actual day and time that it happened to be… Most people work between 9am and 5pm from Monday to Friday. I’m a freelancer, so I don’t have to worry about that, however, the difference it makes is that Friday night and Saturday night are the times when *EVERYONE* tries their best to party, because it fits into their work schedules.
This means that for both reasons, scheduling and female population density, Friday night and Saturday night are both PRIMETIME. Primetime needs to be treated differently from any other time, because there’s so much more opportunity present… At this point, Thursday night is also Primetime, to a degree, because lots of us are bored with the crowds and the noise from the weekends.
So the days of the week had to be split up. Thursday, Friday & Saturday became Primetime. This is the time when you meet women, and NOT the time when you pull women… The difference being that your goal is to maximize your efficiency by meeting as many women as possible during Primetime and sorting them out during the rest of the week.
Once I understood this, what I needed to change about my rap became obvious, and my efficiency skyrocketed. My goal during Primetime is to meet chicks, let them know who I am, find out who they are, get contact information (or not), tell them it was nice to meet them, and *BOUNCE* ASAP! >:D
It’s easy to get out of a conversation with a gal if you haven’t been pumping “I want to hook up with you tonight” to her. It’s also easy to hook up with her in the near future if you have contact information for her. Primetime is for meeting as many gals as you can in the shortest amount of time, *NOT* meeting one gal and working on her for hours to see if you can get on.
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday are Downtime. That’s the time you can waste putting in extra work on chicks. Nothing better’s going on anyway, so you may as well follow-up on the women you met during Primetime.
Same thing goes for the morning and afternoon hours on Thursday, Friday & Saturday. If you need to put in some “get to know you” time, make sure it’s during Downtime, so you can get it in gear to put in work later on that evening.
What’s going to happen is that chicks are going to want to do Downtime activities during Primetime. Veto that and give her a raincheck for some other Downtime period.
Of course, there are exceptions to all this. >:D .. If you meet a gal that you really believe is exceptional, go ahead and waste all your Primetime on her. Give her all the Downtime too, while you’re at it… If you end up dating her, that’s what your life is going to be like anyway, so there’s no time like the present to get started living that lifestyle.
Since this discussion is about speed, however, stick to the program.. Primetime is for meeting women and Downtime is for cultivating your relationships to them & hooking up.
So your speed in a rap is derived from your understanding that you only came to the party to meet as many attractive women as you can before the situation is over… Get in, say what you have to say, figure out if she liked it, exchange contact information, bounce.
If it takes you more than 15 minutes to inform a chick why she should remain in contact with you, you need to improve your skillz. 15 minutes per gal = 4 gals per hour. This is why I said The Kid can go +4 or +5 on Facebook in less than an hour.
That’s nothing, really. That doesn’t even approach being impressive.
I can’t even remember the last time I spent 15 minutes talking to the same chick during Primetime, unless I didn’t have anything better to do… meaning that I had my eye on the room, and there weren’t any OTHER chicks I wanted to talk to, so I may as well keep kickin’ it with this one.
Either way, the style is built for immediate ejection (haha, not to be confused with premature ejaculation o_O), so that *IF* I spot a new target, I can excuse myself ASAP and get on the case.
Now that I mention that, your successful and quick ejection is facilitated by getting her contact information SOONER rather than LATER.
Most guys wait until they’re about to leave a gal’s presence before they attempt to “get her number”. This doesn’t work, because when you see that next chick, you might only have a few seconds before some other guy starts chatting her up for the rest of the evening, hoping to score.
You have to be able to drop an exit line, like “Oh.. I see a friend of mine.. Let me catch up with you later.” and BOUNCE immediately. You don’t want to go through the contact information drill *AFTER* you become aware of the new chick. On top of wasting your time, if the next one sees you ‘getting the digits’ from the previous one, that might sabotage your next rap from the giddyap. 😀
Another thing that makes speed easy to achieve is that females rarely do anything by themselves. Most of the time you see women, they’re in packs or groups. All you have to do is meet one of them and you get to meet all of them… unless, of course, she’s sweating you and decides to keep you for herself, haha 😀
The first part of your preparation is “energy”. You have to be in the right frame of mind to put in Primetime-quality work, or it isn’t worth attending the event at all.
I’ve been to parties where I knew 80 people that were in the same venue with me. 30 is typical for me. What that means is that I’m constantly catching up with friends, meeting new people, and changing direction in conversations. The entire evening is basically one continuous blur until we end up in a diner at 4am, winding down. I know how that feels and I know what it takes to rawk a situation like that successfully, so I make sure I build my energy properly beforehand, and if I know I didn’t make it, I don’t go.
The second part is “looking the part”. If I’m going to hang out in Hipster-Brooklyn, I dress differently than if I had been planning to hang out in Manhattan. I still don’t “blend” with hipsters, haha I mean they can all tell I’m not down with their subculture, but at least I’m not showing up like “MANHATTAN, SUNNN!!! AND WHAAAAAA??? >:D”
The third part is “team selection”. You want to either attend the event with guys that are going to make the crew look good and not act like desperados, or girls that are going to befriend other chicks and introduce you to them instead of cockblocking you.
This is a critical aspect as far as speed, because your team serves as your home base, your opportunity for multitasking, and your excuse for quickly exiting a conversation with a gal you’re chatting up… The home base aspect keeps your energy high because you’re relaxed and having a good time, even if you don’t meet anybody new. All you really needed when you came to the party was the person or people you brought. As long as the guy(s) in your group can get girls on their own and you don’t have to babysit them, you might notice that they’re chatting up several chicks across the room while you’re doing nothing of import, and you get to hustle over there and get introduced.
Girls are *ALWAYS* willing to meet new girls… in fact, women are often TOO EFFECTIVE in introducing you to new chicks, to the point that you end up bogged down in conversations you didn’t even plan to have while you were still assessing the room or scheming on how you were going to meet the next gal you were up to on your list. This is partially a by-product of the act-like-we’re-lesbians-to-get-attention-from-guys fad that started over a decade ago. What you need to do in the case of an overly-effective female is inform her where the threshold is of chicks that are “your type”, so she knows not to introduce you if a gal doesn’t make the grade. If you decide to make an exception, you can either text her or walk over and insert yourself into their conversation.
Meanwhile, your teammates need to not be nuisances. Do not get so drunk that I have to spend my time making sure you don’t fall off your bar stool. Do not act belligerently towards people that would otherwise have gone about their business, causing unnecessary arguments, tension & stress. Do not cockblock. Do not act like you’re desperate for chicks (even if you are) and make The Kid look desperate for standing next to you. If you don’t have anything GOOD to say to a female, don’t say anything at all… It’s better FOR ME if you look like an idiot or antisocial than if you look like a JERK, which is going to make it tougher for me to get raps.
Your team is also your excuse for ejecting from a rap. Everybody understands “I’m being rude to my friends, so I should get back to them. :D”. This is way better than saying “I’ve put in enough work with you now, and I just noticed several better-looking chicks that I want to meet, so PEACEBEYOTCH!!! >:D”
I had a couple of funny experiences happen, I believe on the same night, when I was hanging out with a reader. I mean, they weren’t funny TO ME, but it was funny, seeing his reaction to what had happened.
The first situation was that I had been hanging out with him at the bar, talking about “this and that, from sneakers to hats”, and out of the blue, this chick walks up to me, introduces herself, chats me up for a few, gives me her number, kisses me on the cheek and leaves.
When she walked away, I picked up my conversation with my friend where we had left off, and he was wondering why I didn’t kick it to her or chase her or try to leave with her. I definitely found her attractive, and I was definitely physically interested in her, but it was Primetime and not Downtime. We had already exchanged contact information. I could have called or texted her later that night, the next day, or I could call her right now, because I still have her number.
Her kickin’ it to me didn’t change Primetime into Downtime, so I was still focused on a) hanging out with my friend and chillin’, and b) meeting any other chicks that might have been interested in me before we left that spot.
The second situation was that the same reader and I went to a different party that this other chick had invited me to, and when I got there, she was making out with some other dude.
I waited for her to get her groove on, eventually approached her as if I had just recently arrived, acted like I didn’t see what I saw, chatted her up, introduced her to my friend, thanked her for the invite and left the party (having already assessed the group and deciding that there weren’t any other chicks there that I had had a good percentage chance of getting a rap to).
That’s how Primetime works. It’s all about the action.. Speed.. Making connections. All that other chick-stuff you can do after 4am or before 8pm.
This is why I understand and appreciate the newjack reader’s comment that he didn’t believe I can get contact information from 4-5 chicks in 60 minutes. If I were still doing things the way I used to do them, I’d be incredulous as well.
In fact, if I see that a chick’s sweating me, and I like her too, the very first thing I say to her might be “Are you on Facebook? >:D”. If she goes for that, I go +1 in one minute and I have another 55 minutes (one hour, less chatting her up for another 4 minutes after we exchange information) to pull the next 3-4 chicks and make my quota.
Also.. This only works if you’re an actually interesting person. I’m not saying I do magic tricks on women and they become hypnotized and give me their numbers. 😀 I’m saying they can see what I look like, they get to hear what I’m about and there’s enough information on Google (http://www.google.com/#q=Bill – I’m #18) for her to decide whether she wants to hang out with me or not, so I don’t have to waste a lot of time talking to the same chick.
It’s even easier if we happen to be into the same things, like social media, video creation or music production:
So.. No. I wasn’t kidding. I also wasn’t bragging. I was merely stating basic facts.
I’m glad this came up, though. I haven’t penned an episode of “Hunters” in more than three months, and I’ve enjoyed getting back to the series. >:D
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