By now, you’ve heard that Arnold Schwarzenegger was banging the hired help while he was married and having kids with his wife.
For some people, this was a surprise. I suppose they never read my 2008 article “Political Sex Scandals”.
I suppose they also never saw this video of Schwarzenegger in Brazil back in the day:
YouTube link => http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uerFZ2Z42nc
Does this look like a dude that’s interested in one female?… Nope.
It’s All In The Game
Anyway… I didn’t have much to say about this topic because it’s so basic that I couldn’t get a grip on only ONE topic that I wanted to talk about.
When it comes to dating, there are only three types of guys:
- Guys that are looking for one girl to settle down with.
- Guys that are willing to FAKE looking for one girl so they can get laid.
- Guys that will tell you to your face that they’re not going to be exclusive with you and you can kick rocks if you don’t like it.
So.. When I hear that some dude has a teenage kid with his hired help, my two reactions are, a) “Sucks to be you.. Should have used a condom.”, and b) “**** it. He’s rich. He can afford Child Support payments”.
Also, when I hear that the hired help’s kid is the same age as his wife’s youngest kid, I’m like “Welp… Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy.”
So.. Obviously, I have no problems at all with dudes screwing as many chicks as they like, even on the same day…. If you’re not hip to the facts, according to CNN:
A son fathered by Arnold Schwarzenegger with his housekeeper was born less than a week after Maria Shriver gave birth to another Schwarzenegger son, according to birth records obtained Wednesday by CNN.
The New York Times, citing two friends of the family, reported the mother was Mildred Patricia Baena, who worked for two decades as housekeeper for the Schwarzenegger family.
The former California governor acknowledged Tuesday he was the father of a child “over a decade ago,” but he did not identify the mother.
So.. Obviously, he was tagging up on both of them at the same time…. I’mma let Robbie Nevil handle this one:
YouTube link => http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGtf9QfITQw
The ‘problem’ I have with the situation is that that’s a sucker move, telling a chick you’re exclusive with her to get her to lay down. That’s like one step above paying a prostitute. That’s not sporting. :/
I mean.. How do you feel about yourself when you spend all this time and energy, attaining a position of power, and then you can’t do what you actually want to do with your life? o_O
What’s the point of attaining anything in life at all? If you want to bang the housekeeper, bang the ******* housekeeper. I don’t see what the problem is.
You bought like a Porsche or a yacht or a mansion because you felt like it, right? How come you have to sneak behind your woman’s back and hook up with the hired help?
If a chick doesn’t know how to keep her mouth shut about the fact that y’all are hooking up, she’s either worthless or a liability. Neither one is good.
One of the benefits to hooking up with the hired help is that she’s already on the payroll.
You’re already paying her to do things for you, so all you have to do is extend her job description.
You’re also already paying her to keep her mouth shut. You don’t want her blabbing to the tabloids about what goes on in your house when she’s mopping the ******* floor, so discretion is pretty much built-in if you decide to start screwing her.
This is one of the reasons people like Charlie Sheen specialize in hookers. If you hook up with random groupies, they’re going to have your business all over Facebook before you wake up the next morning.
That’s one of the differences between celebrities and regular dudes. If you’re a regular dude, chicks deny giving you some to their very last breath on this Earth. If you’re a celebrity, they’re bragging to their friends about whose **** they just ****** as soon as they can wash their hands and pick up their Blackberry or iPhone.
The hired help isn’t going to do this to you because she wants to keep getting paid. She knows she’s living lovely. She also knows that she would have hooked up with you for free, anyway… Like, if you would have met her in a club and pressed up on her, she would have been like “But Where Does Homey Sign? :(“.
If you’ve decided to go the sucker route of promising an exclusive relationship to a chick and then continuing your single lifestyle as if whatever’s clever, you most definitely need to *NOT* be seen with the chick(s) you’re hooking up with.
Even the most inept cheaters COUGHtigerwoodsCOUGH know not to be seen chillin’ in public with ‘extra’ chicks.
This is why the hired help is useful for sex. You have legitimate excuses for being alone with them.
Your wife goes on a trip? hehe SOMEBODY’S got to take care of the kids, and it sure as hell isn’t going to be YOU. >:D .. A few PlayStations and Xboxes scattered around the house, and the maid’s all yours for as long as you can tap that.
If you happen to be seen with her in public, like, at Wal-Mart or something, nobody can say **** to you, because everybody knows she’s your housekeeper.
It also kind of helps if the chick is busted compared to your wife.
This is the move, because even if someone tries to imply that you’re hooking up with her, the peanut gallery’s going to shout them down, saying “Look at his wife, and then look at her… There’s NO WAY he’s tappin’ that, sunn. :/”
This same type of bias is the reason that there are no Asians on television and why you never see a story about someone busted getting killed on Dateline.
It’s always “How could this happen to the cute, pretty, beautiful whomever? :O” as if ******-up stuff never happens to unattractive people.
So.. Yeah.. If you’re going to hire a maid, make sure she has the type of body that turns you on, but her grill is sort of irregular, and you’ll slide right under the radar every time.
Another problem with hooking up with groupies is that… well… they’re groupies. \o/
That means that you and whomever else they’re jocking right now can get some.
That means that whatever they just caught, they can pass on to you quick fast in a hurry, Flavor’s vision ain’t blurry.
Arnold went for the double fail-safe by boning a chick that was already married.
Married chicks, for the most part, aren’t out on the dating scene, so all you really have to worry about is if her husband is cheating on her, passing HER something that she passes YOU that you pass YOUR WIFE and then you get busted for cheating 14 years ago instead of recently.
On top of that, married dudes tend to get lazy and not sex their wives properly, so she’s easy pickin’s.
So, it’s really the best situation, evAr. The chick works for you, she’s sweating you, you’re already paying her, she’s down to give you some, she’s not dating anybody, she’s proven she can keep your business out tha street… on top of all that, she knows that if she acts like she’s clean and she’s not, she gets fired, so she has even more incentive to tell you the truth about that.
You’re still a ******* IDIOT for hittin’ it without a condom, but at least married chicks that work for you are pretty much the best deal you’re going to get.
I’ve never been married, because I’ve never met an attractive female Billionaire that was any good at SOCOM:
However.. There are a lot of situations where once a gal gets married to a dude, she feels like, er.. she doesn’t have to be that Hawt Chick for him anymore.
This is a blatant error, ladies. 😀 If you think your husband got married to you so he could feel LESS turned on than when he was dating you and/or engaged to you, you’re wrong.
There’s a very good reason why strip clubs, whorehouses and porno will never go out of style.
So, if you go that route, and the hired help is still trying to be that Hawt Chick for your man, you “might could” get cheated on.
Granted… This probably doesn’t have anything to do with Arnold’s situation, because a) his wife always looked better than the housekeeper, and b) the kids popped out less than a week apart from each other, so he was obviously still enjoying hooking up with his wife while he was banging the hired help without a condom.
Still.. The fact remains that while the hired help may not have graduated from MIT http://alum.mit.edu/www/billcammack/, or, actually, any college at all.. Your husband might hit it if she’s willing to “drop it like it’s hot”, and you aren’t.
Gettin’ It In
Ultimately, the problem here is what I’ve always said the problem is.
Since guys know what the game is, they’re willing to fake it to get chicks to do what we want them to do.
You want to be my girlfriend? fine.. My fiancee? fine.. My wife? fine… And then I’m going to continue doing whatever the **** I feel like doing until you get hip to the game, which may be never.
What happens if you find out?.. Nothing. \o/ .. You bounce, and then I can spend even more time with my other girlfriends… Peace in the Middle East… Don’t let the doorknob hit’cha where the Good Lord split’cha.
Unfortunately, people will continue to be amazed and surprised that some dude was screwing other chicks when he claimed he wasn’t.
There are some guys that are only physically attracted to one woman.
There are other guys that will hook up with any gal that turns them on.
If you’re suspicious, leave your sound-activated baby monitor video camera in the laundry room, or wherever you suspect your man’s gettin’ it in with the maid.
Also, make sure you check his glove compartment and fishing tackle box for condoms… Although we found out from Arnold that your man might not be using them with the next chick anyway.
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