Weiner Fesses Up

Anthony Weiner fessed up in a press conference about his role in the recent scandal that the internet’s been buzzing about:

Direct Link => http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/43301263#43301263

It would take me longer than it’s worth to figure out a coherent storyline for this article, so I’m just going to write about my experience with and thoughts about this situation.

I heard about it several days ago. Some politician was alleged to have sent a picture of tha dilznick to some chick on Twitter.

*yawn*

I immediately didn’t care, but it kept coming up on Facebook, so I checked a little more into the information.

Turns out that this dude supposedly sent the picture over public twitter to some chick… Sure… That’s likely. :/

Turns out that the person who reported it is a conspiracy theorist… Sure.. He’s credible. :/

So.. Not knowing anything about anybody involved in this situation (I’ve never heard of Anthony Weiner before whenever this scandal started), I assumed it was a setup, and an extremely poor one at that.

In fact.. This very issue came up Thursday night when I was chillin’ with some friends after the blip.tv party.

Almost verbatim, here’s what I had to say about it:

I think this is a setup. I don’t believe it. The concept is so stupid. I mean.. Think about it.. Whomever set this up doesn’t understand how the internet works.

Why in the hell would some dude send a picture to a chick over PUBLIC TWITTER when he could have DM’ed it to her, sent it to her privately on Facebook, texted it to her phone, I mean there are myriad ways he could have sent this thing, but whomever set him up decided that they were going to make it look like he sent it over public twitter?

The idea is stupid and the setup sucked.

HAHAHAHA However… I also told my friends *THIS* last Thursday, five days before Weiner fessed up:

The only thing that bothers me about this situation… THE *ONLY* THING that bothers me about it..

is that he refuses to say that that’s NOT a picture of him or that it IS a picture of him.

He knows damned ******* well whether he wears underwear like that or not. If he doesn’t, he should be able to say “That’s not me”.

(if you’re interested in how obvious the picture is, click here => static1.businessinsider.com/image/4de26913cadcbb2f38270000/weiners-weiner.png)

On top of that.. If he *DOES* wear underwear like that, he should know damned well whether he took a picture of himself in it. If he didn’t.. he should be able to say “That’s not me”.

So, my stance last Thursday night was that I didn’t know anything about the guy to believe him or not believe him, but the setup sucked so badly that I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

His excuse at the time was that he had been twittering and then… Yes.. Twittering. The word “Tweet” was made up by people after the fact. If the individual posts were Tweets, the service would be called TWEETER, you idiots.

His excuse at the time was that he had been twittering and then he happened to notice a post that he didn’t create appear in his timeline as if it came from him, which was this pic of tha dilznick, and he immediately deleted it and kept twittering.

He also claimed that his Facebook account had been hacked recently and he was looking into the security issues, blah blah blah.

These excuses work fine for drones that don’t understand how the internet works.

Let me tell you how the internet works.

If you don’t create media, there *IS* no media. Capisce? >:D

Weiner’s refusal to say whether that’s a picture of him or not indicates to anyone worth their salt in Social Media that He. Takes. Pictures. Of. Himself. In. Underwear.

Here’s an example… I’m 5’9″. I have never dunked a basketball on a regulation hoop in my entire life. Never. I never have, and I never will. Not without assistance or stepping on someone’s back and propelling myself to the hoop.

To make matters worse, I don’t even PLAY basketball. I play hockey.

So I can guarantee you.. 100%.. immediately.. without blinking an eye, that there are ZERO authentic pictures of The Kid dunking a basketball on a regulation hoop anywhere in existence in the entire universe, because a) I’ve never done it, and b) the only times I’ve dunked a basketball EVAR is on way shorter hoops, and nobody was taking pictures at the time, and I most certainly didn’t pose for any.

So, some dude saying “I can’t say for sure whether that’s a picture of my underwear and my leg or not” indicates clearly to me that a) he’s taken pictures of himself like that, b) he’s taken pictures in that set of underwear, c) he’s taken pictures of himself from that angle, and d) he knows all these things, so he’s waiting to see whether he can get over or not, and the only issue is “Did he send this picture out over public Twitter or not? o_O”

So, Fast-Forward to today, and I’m watching this video of Weiner’s confession that I posted above, and this is what dude has to say for himself:

Last Friday night, I tweeted a photograph of myself that I intended to send as a direct message as a part of a joke to a woman in Seattle. Once I realized I had posted it to Twitter, I panicked, I took it down and said that I had been hacked.

This is where I started searching for slapping-forehead smileys like these =>

Like I said before.. I was already sure that it was a picture of him by his lack of absolute denial. The only question I had was *HOW* that picture got in his public Twitter stream, and now we know.. Weiner *FAILED* to mark it as a direct message, and it went to EVERYBODY instead of just that one chick.

What’s even more pathetic about this situation is that there’s a popular commercial that was recently released (before the scandal) where this dude tells his boy that instead of replying to him in an email, he accidentally clicked “Reply All”, and had sent it to the whole company, and the rest of the commercial is spent with that guy running all over creation stealing computers and smartphones from coworkers so they don’t see what he accidentally sent to them.

Life Imitates Art.

So I’m like “oh.. He just ****** up. \o/”. No conspiracy theory. No setup. He just ****** up managing his social media presence.

Oh well. 😀 hahaha In fact, the conversation Thursday night included considering a brilliant scheme to publicize him as a politician.

I counted that as a possibility because I had never heard of Andrew Weiner before a couple of weeks ago or whenever this story broke, and a fake leaking of a fake picture that could easily be explained away after the publicity wears off is a pretty good use of today’s social media outlets.

Nope… He blew it, and now he’s at the podium crying about something I can’t figure out. What’s he crying for? o_O

He wasn’t crying when he was sending pictures of tha dilznick to random chicks behind his wife’s back. 😀

What is it with these people?.. I just finished writing about Arnold Schwarzenegger tappin’ the maid to the point that he popped a kid out of her that arrived a week apart from when his own wife had a kid, and then 14 years later, he goes “Sorry”.

Three years ago, I wrote about Political Sex Scandals in general.

Why are y’all crying NOW? o_O .. Why are y’all (fortunately, Weiner didn’t do this) making your wives take the Perp Walk with you to the podium in a show of solidarity and “I’m sticking by my man even though he did XYZ”?

You didn’t invite your wives to the action, so leave them out of your press conferences.

So let’s take a look at my favorite highlights from Weiner’s confessional press conference:

Weiner [00:30]: Last Friday night, I tweeted a photograph of myself that I intended to send as a direct message as a part of a joke to a woman in Seattle. Once I realized I had posted it to Twitter, I panicked, I took it down and said that I had been hacked.

First of all.. What kind of joke involves a picture of tha dilznick? 😀 hahaha If you would have sent that picture to a dude, you might could have gotten punched in your ******* face, so what kind of a joke would it have been after that? o_O

If you’re going to fess up, fess up all the way. There isn’t any “joke” here. You were flirting with a chick, including sending her pictures of yourself. It’s too late to half-step on your confession. You’re not going to look any more proper by claiming that you joke around with women by sending them pictures of your body parts. In fact, you’re going to look dumber, so just admit that you were kickin’ it with her and you got stimulation out of it so we can move on.

Second.. Why in the **** are you flirting with chicks on public social media outlets when you have a wife? 😀 .. At least Tiger Woods got caught TRYING to be sneaky.

I mean, I realize that Weiner THOUGHT he was sending it to her via DM, but C’MON, SUNN! :/ get another ******* account for that. Jeez. :/

Third.. If you don’t know anything about social media, consult with people who do BEFORE you make even more of an ass out of yourself by coming up with excuses that you can’t sustain.

I watched him being interviewed by Rachel Maddow (watch the bottom video for the episode I saw).

While the conversation was going on and he was saying he was being pranked, I was like “ok then.. This must *NOT* be a picture of him at all, because how in the world would someone get a picture of him to FAKE Twittering to some chick if he never took a picture like that of himself ever in life?”

4 minutes into the video, Rachel says “Because you haven’t answered a question about whether the photo is you or not, you realize that everybody now thinks the photo IS you, and so where there’s smoke, there’s fire, there must be a real scandal here, you must have been doing something creepy here.. Let me ask you whether or not you want to answer that question, and then let me ask you what the answer to it is”. This is where I sat forward and was waiting for Weiner to IMMEDIATELY say “Nope, that’s not me”. Instead, he says “We don’t know for sure. The photograph doesn’t look familiar to me”.

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ… Wrong Answer.

That’s your leg or it isn’t. You own underwear like that or you don’t. You took a picture of yourself in underwear or you didn’t. It’s available in digital form or it isn’t.

0 or 1. There’s no “in between” here.

As SOON as he wouldn’t deny that he’s in the picture, I was sure that it WAS a picture of him and he had been coached to not deny it because if the truth was ever found out, he’d look like more of a liar than he already made himself out to be.

That was good coaching, but too little, too late.

Weiner [01:00]: I’m deeply sorry for the pain this has caused my wife and our family.

Yeah. That’s cute, but what pain is that, exactly? o_O

This dude (according to what he says NOW) hasn’t even been in the same room with chicks he’s been flirting with on the internet. No physical contact. He hasn’t had sex with ANYBODY other than his wife. What’s the problem here?

In fact, I think he did more damage to himself and people that love and support him by coming up with weak, unsupportable lies about being framed.

Imagine Arnold being like “Well.. You see… What had *HAPPENED* WAS… I was in this movie about myself being cloned, right.. and someone took advantage of that and swabbed my DNA from a glass when I was at a restaurant and created a clone of me with my housekeeper, 14 years ago, and…”

C’mon, Sunn! :/ .. If you’re busted, you’re busted. If you **** up and send a picture of tha dilznick over public Twitter, you have to realize that there are people that follow you by RSS, meaning that whatever you send out, regardless of how quickly you delete it, may very well have been emailed to them and be sitting there in their inbox, hours, days or weeks after you delete it… Once you press “send”, you’re toast. If you don’t know even that much, you need to stay out of social media, entirely.

A couple of years ago, this chick Twittered that some dude in a live stream was ugly. She found out a few minutes later that he was a social media bigwig and tried to delete the post. Unfortunately, it had already been archived by TweetScan, and my friends and I had a FIELD DAY, looking at what she actually said about the dude and then all the ass-kissing she did after the fact, trying to backpedal out of the situation after she had unsuccessfully deleted her authentic opinion about his looks.

Weiner [01:14]: In addition, over the past few years, I have engaged in several inappropriate conversations conducted over Twitter, Facebook, email and occasionally over the phone with women I have met online. I have exchanged messages and photos of an explicit nature with about six women over the last three years. For the most part, these communications took place before my marriage, though some have sadly taken place after. To be clear, I have never met any of these women or had physical relationships at any time.

Inappropriate conversations? 😀 .. When did he agree not to flirt with women?

Has anybody ever agreed not to flirt with women? Is that written into marriage vows? o_O

What is this guy crying about?

He’s admitting in public that he’s never physically met ANY of the chicks he’s been sending pictures to, so what’s the problem?

He hasn’t broken any of his marriage vows. He hasn’t broken any laws. According to his information, all the women he’s been kickin’ it with are GROWN-ASS WOMEN over the age of consent in New York… hmm.. Well.. Since I don’t know where these chicks are from, I should just say that according to his statement, all of the chicks have been over legal consensual sexual age in their respective states… Which doesn’t matter because he hasn’t had sex with any of them.

The funniest thing about this situation is that he destroyed his credibility way more by LYING ABOUT IT AFTER THE FACT than he did by accidentally posting the picture to public Twitter.

Weiner [02:45]: I have made it clear that I accept responsibility for this, and people who draw conclusions about me are free to do so. I’ve worked for the people of my district for 13 years, and politics for 20 years, and I hope that they see fit to see this in the light that it is, which is a deeply regrettable mistake.

THIS was flavor! 😀 .. PROPS to Anthony Weiner for saying that. That’s the real deal, right thurrr.

“I messed up. Hopefully, y’all can get past this and remember/recognize that I’ve been doing right by y’all in MY. ACTUAL. JOB. for the last 13 years. If you want to hate on me for sending pics to chicks of tha dilznick, I respect your decision to hate on me.”

That’s respectable, as far as I’m concerned. It’s not “Please look past this”, but rather that he realizes that his getting busted is going to alienate some people, and if they can’t get over it, he respects their decision to jump ship when election time rolls around.

That’s what he should have said from the giddyap.

Some drone reporter asks “Why would you do this after you’re married?.. You know it’s wrong…”

Weiner [03:45]: You know, I… I don’t know what I was thinking. This was a destructive thing to do. I’m apologetic for doing it. It was deeply, deeply hurtful to the people that I care about the most. um.. It was something that I did that was just wrong.. and I regret it.

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ… Wrong Answer! 😀

This is what I was talking about in my article “Sex Addiction Therapy & Rehab?”

This is a bullshit lie.

It may never cease to amaze me that guys are scared to ******* DEATH to say “I’m a guy. I like chicks. I kicked it to her because I felt like it.”

That’s the answer to that question. “Yeah, I’m married. Yeah, I like chicks. Yeah, I flirt with them on the internet. Next question?”

What’s even worse is that these drones keep falling for these excuses over and over. “oh.. There must be something wrong with him! :O”.. “oh.. He must be addicted to internet porno! :O”. Sorry. The fact is that some guys aren’t only attracted to their wives and they act on their personal interests. It’s no ******* major Scooby-Doo mystery.

“I don’t know what I was thinking”… “I sent a picture of tha dilznick to some chick in Seattle as a joke”… Who falls for this stuff? \o/

“I did it. I was kickin’ it with her. I tried to send it as a DM but ****** up. Hopefully, you’ll still vote for me in the next election.”

Some reporter: “Where is your wife?”

Weiner: She’s not here.

hahahahahahaha I loved that answer. 😀

Mind your ******* business. My wife is wherever she happens to be, which is where she always is.

People are too used to politicians making their wives do the Perp Walk with them and stand next to them at a podium looking like absolute IDIOTS while their husbands tell the world about how they were playing them out behind their backs.

Thank you, Weiner, for not subjecting your wife to this idiocy.

These dudes do all this action behind their wives’ backs, so why in the hell should the chicks have to be there for the mea culpa press conference?

You know… I originally intended to comment on the entire video, but it’s 27 minutes long and I just don’t care anymore. 😀

If you care, go watch it => http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/43301263#43301263

The bottom line is that Anthony Weiner didn’t have sex with *any* chicks outside of his marriage. He didn’t commit *one* single crime. As far as he knows (and nobody’s stepped forward to say otherwise), all the chicks he’s been flirting with on the internet are of legal age anywhere in the United States of America.

There’s no story here.

There’s a lesson, though…

The internet is fire. If you play with it, you might get burned. If you don’t know what you’re doing, you betta ASK SOMEBODY or ca-hall Tyrone.

If you insist on doing things on the internet that you don’t want to become a part of the public record, you need to implement your Mea Culpa / Perp Walk strategy BEFORE you start doing it, not AFTER you get caught.

I mean.. Think about it… What would have happened if Weiner had successfully sent this picture to the chick in Seattle and then she would have decided to forward it to her girlfriends or her boyfriend found it (if she has one), or any number of a gazillion other things would have happened?

We’re talking about *WHEN* something’s going to go wrong, not *IF*.

Arnold was screwing the help, popped a kid out of her, concealed it from his wife for 14 years, and *WEINER’S* at the podium crying because he sent pictures and text messages to women he’s never physically been in the same room with?

What’s the matter with you people? o_O

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7 thoughts on “Weiner Fesses Up”

  1. BC! Thanks for the recap!

    I’ll be damned if I watch this crocodile tear nonsense. And like you said, he blew this up waaaaay bigger than it needed to be by lying and stretching it out. He needed to deny the photo. Ya cain’t say, “we don’t know for sure”. Firstly, we who? You got The Archer Detective Agency hot on this case to tell you if it’s your junk or not? Really?

    Anyone who’s ever raised a kid was screaming guilty(!) if they gave a sh*t anymore about a politician being caught being improper. A kid’s standing next to a broken lamp. Nobody else is around. You ask, did you break that lamp?
    Kid: “We don’t know for sure. The lamp doesn’t look familiar to me”
    Yeah, okay.

    I guess The Weiner is so wrapped up in his cushy non-job (probably being otherwise unemployable) that he thought he might lose his life of leisure and he panicked. ‘Cause, We don’t know for sure. The photograph doesn’t look familiar to me” is longhand for “I dunno” and it reeks of panic. He’s got a sweet, sweet setup and he doesn’t want to lose any part of it.

    Off topic: I don’t think the chick in question is as above-it-all as she’s letting on either.
    Her: You’re Hotttt!
    Him: Hi, let’s be friends.
    Her: Ok.
    Him: Wanna see my weiner?

    See how that doesn’t flow right? That’s because unsolicited sh*t like that gets people arrested! Now imagine how many chicks that wouldn’t have worked on in the past without somebody chirping up and him having to change strategy after he did his community time. I think there’s more to this story and she’s possibly trying to keep her rep clean. Or at least trying to disassociate herself from a bonehead. Can’t blame her. His wife’s probably trying to do the same. You go girl!

    “..I have exchanged messages and photos of an explicit nature with about six women over the last three years…” – This is the, how-much dirt can they dig up-on-me-if-they-go-back-so-let’s-head-them-off-at-the-pass, maneuver. Oh, there’s one word of great interest, “about”. ABOUT. I can’t stop laughing! “…about six women…” – but it could be more like thirty seven – “We don’t know for sure. The photograph doesn’t look familiar to me.”

    1. hahaha First of all, “Archer” is the joint! 😀

      http://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/originals/archer/

      LOLOL at “We don’t know for sure who broke the lamp”!!! 😀

      The thing about the chick in question, which became the chickS in question when he admitted at the podium that he’s been kickin’ it with “About 6 Women” (another vague-ass comment) is that we have no more context for their relationship.

      I already read an article where some chick is clamoring about abuse of power and blah blah, but that same chick has no knowledge of a) how long Weiner had been kickin’ it with that chick, and b) whether *SHE* was sending *HIM* pictures of herself and he was trying to reciprocate and accidentally sent it publicly.

      Turns out that dude’s wife of 11 months works for Hillary! 😀 hahaha What better mentor for a situation like this? 😀

      Right.. Head them off at the pass.. Let me fess up to THIS MUCH so they don’t go digging for the rest of it.

      Spot-On comments, Steve! hahaha 😀

  2. FYI – They had a report on The Weiner on 20/20 last night (I guess all was peaceful in the Mid-East and our troops are already home and all that, right?) and they DID mention that he’s a career politician. As in, has done nothing else. This guy doesn’t even have a law practice to fall back on like some of those other over-empowered dudes.

    In a quick clip from Giuliani – “I always knew there was something wrong with that guy, from day one!”. Facial expression and tone are absent here but let’s just say that the hyperventilating G-man douched himself out with that remark. It may have been an out of context clip but he was practically frothing at the mouth when he said this.

    One question not asked: did his wife already know? She was raised in Saudi Arabia, maybe it’s like France and men flirting is out in the open anyway?

    1. I have a feeling that this situation’s going to go in the Tiger Woods direction, where every so often, some new information will be released.

      I’m going to have to write another article, because this ONE situation is about to test/expand the boundaries of monogamy & “cheating”.

      He’d just better hope that he REALLY hasn’t physically hooked up with any of these chicks, or else his career is toast, IMO.

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