No title means anything at all without consistent actions backing that up.
If you call yourself my friend and then I ask you for a very simple favor and then not only don’t you do me that favor, but you can’t be bothered to even RESPOND TO MY COMMUNICATION and TELL ME you’re not going to do me that favor, what does the title “friend” mean?.. Nothing.
You can go around saying I’m a friend of yours all year and it doesn’t mean jack-****.
As far as dating’s concerned, if you tell people you and I are “Just Friends” and then you hook up with me, what title does that make us now? o_O
Are you going to go around telling people we’re FWB?.. Nope. You’re going to hold the line and keep telling people the same thing, regardless of what the reality is, so the title is meaningless.
If a dude says he has a girlfriend, does that mean he’s only messing with her?.. Nope. Doesn’t mean anything at all.
At the same time, if a guy *DOESN’T* publicly claim a gal as his girlfriend, but he loves being with her and spends as much time as he can with her, she’s receiving what people assume is “girlfriend treatment” from watching television and movies, except what she’s getting is real.. authentic…
So.. Titles, in general, don’t mean anything at all. There are guys that are sexually faithful to women they won’t claim IRL, much less on the internet, and there are guys that marry women with ZERO intention of stopping hooking up with other chicks.
What someone calls you is worthless compared to how they consistently act towards you.
“Single” is one of the most ridiculous categorizations available, yet, people react to this word as if they understand what it means.
I always mark Single on social media sites, just to see what happens. Mainly, what happens is that the site serves me advertisements ranging from Christian Singles to Jewish Singles to Cougar Dating to Sugar Daddy Dating and all of the ads use the exact same pictures of chicks with DD bra sizes.
Other than the ads I’m served, nothing else happens, because women know that if they step to a dude, they “might could get got”! >:D
It’s a totally different situation for women that mark themselves as single. It’s pretty much as if they instantly signed up for an online dating service, with all the unsolicited propositions they receive.
One of the main and persistent misconceptions bout Single people is that we’re disgruntled about being single.
Everybody wants to offer you women when you’re single… I mean, right off the bat, that perk right thurrr is enough incentive to remain single for your entire lifetime. >:D
Hook Me Up!
Back in the day, when I was like 15 years old or so, I was going on a trip with some friends of mine. The guy who had invited me had a girlfriend (whom he went on to eventually marry and have a family with), and she had invited some of her homegirls to come with us… I didn’t find out until the day was halfway over that one of the gals had been specifically selected FOR ME and brought along SOLELY to keep me company.
Obviously, my friend who invited me hadn’t been aware of who The Kid is, because I had spent the entire day kickin’ it with 3 or 4 OTHER CHICKS and never spent any time at all with my ‘arranged marriage’ until my friend directly asked me how I like her when all the chicks went to “powder their noses” (read: talk about us guys).
After that, I courteously spent some time talking to her, so her day wasn’t a total waste, but she wasn’t my type, and nobody had ASKED ME what my type was before they brought a girl for me.
This happened to me another time, years later, when my cousin Shanghaied me into a blind date situation.
She had invited a bunch of people to get together for dinner, and I wasn’t hip to the game while we were still mingling, but when it was time to sit down, I noticed that everybody there was paired up, except for this ONNNNNNE CHICK and yours truly and that we were suspiciously placed right next to each other at the table.
That’s when I realized that The Kid had fallen for the okey-doke.
I pulled my cousin to the side after dinner and thanked her for her efforts, however, I can’t just be kickin’ it with any ole chick that happens to be single and looking to retire from the game.
Meanwhile.. Women in general LOOOOOVE to be matchmakers. I mean, some of them, like my homegirl Maria are *ACTUALLY* matchmakers, but, in general, women that perceive unattached guys start automatically trying to figure out which one of their lonely homegirls could use some action in their lives.
This is obviously to the Single guy’s benefit, and causes a backlog of chicks to hang out with, even if he’s not making new female acquaintances of his own every week.
Frying Pan? Meet Fire
So.. As poor as the dating scene in New York City is for women to begin with.. It’s actually worse than it seems… Not all of the guys that label themselves as Single are ACTUALLY single.
It would actually be more intelligent to label us Free Agents.
“Single” simply means that I’m going to do whatever I want to do with whatever grown-ass woman who decides that she feels like doing it with me, whenever I feel like doing it.
It doesn’t mean I’m lonely. It doesn’t mean I don’t have several girlfriends that I spend time with on a regular basis. It doesn’t mean I’m looking to retire by finding one female that I can spend all of my social time with… The only thing it means is that I’m not burdened by any responsibility or guilt that will prevent a chick from GETTING GOT if she steps to me.
I will hit it in a box. I will hit it with a fox. I will hit it while eating Green Eggs & Ham. I don’t care. It doesn’t matter. I don’t have a wife or girlfriend I have to lie to about what I was doing last night.
This is one of the reasons the dating scene is so tough for women, besides the fact that there are 4 or 5 of them for every 1 of us here.
You’re actually competing against TWO groups of women if your goal is to meet a guy and corral him for your own personal and exclusive use.
The group of women that all of y’all are aware of, for lack of a better term, are usually referred to as hoes.
Basically.. For every, like, nine women that aren’t willing to give it up, there’s one woman that’s willing to hook up with all nine of the guys that those gals are frontin’ on.
I’m not even including strip joints (read: sex in the back rooms) and actual prostitution. I’m saying that there are regular-ass women that are DTF right now, and playing that “I’m only going to hook up with him after the fourth date” game is only stalling *her* from getting on, and not him.
Whenever she feels like getting with the program, he’ll take it, but he’s certainly not waiting around for it like he has nothing better to do with his life.
So.. That “Make him wait for sex” rug has been pulled out from under women’s feet, and they’re going to need some new tactics.
The other set of women, who are actually way more of a hindrance to women that are looking to build Long-Term Relationships (LTRs) with guys, are what I’ll call Surrogate Girlfriends.
There are only really two things you’re going to do with your girlfriend. You’re going to hang out with her, and you’re going to hit it.
Females attempt to maximize the “hanging out” part while rationing the “hitting it” part.
I’m not sure why that registers as a WIN to them, but it’s like ok, whatever.
Y’all might actually make it to a LTR if all the other women dude knows are “hoes”. Like.. If all he’s doing with them is enjoying the sex, but he actually likes you as a person, you have a chance.
If he already knows women that he likes to hang out with, spend time with, and attend events with, you’re pretty much Toast. (read: Finished. Done Off. Kaput)
If worse came to worse, and for some odd reason, he just HAAAD to select one woman, it would be one of his surrogate girlfriends, and not you.
I mean, seriously.. Think about it.. Why in the world would a guy select a woman that he’s only known for a few months, that’s been frontin’ on sexing him the entire time she’s known him, over a gal that’s been consistently excellent towards him for several years already? 😀 It doesn’t make any sense.
Dude has represented himself as Single, but if he wanted to get married, he could get married tomorrow. If he wanted to have kids, he could start that process tomorrow. If he already has several girlfriends, you’re not bringing anything to the table that he doesn’t already have.
On top of that, he’s already kicked the tires on these other chicks. He already likes who they are as human beings. He likes who they are as business professionals. He likes their senses of humor. He enjoys their company. He thinks they’re sexy. They’ve come through for him AS ACTUAL FRIENDS whenever he needed something from them. They’ve been sharing life together for years already, and there really isn’t much of a transition from the relationship they’ve already built to a traditional, drone-recognized “relationship”.
That’s why I say that the women “Single” guys know that they enjoy spending time with are way more dangerous to women’s raps than the gals they hook up with and don’t think anything at all of as people.
If a guy actually intends to ‘settle down’ eventually, it’s going to be with a gal whose personality he enjoys and whom he can see himself spending a lot of time with going forward, whether he’s hittin’ it or not.
There are always women around for sex.. professionally or otherwise… The needle in the haystack or the diamond in the rough is the gal that you just plain enjoy and look forward to being around, for aesthetic, emotional, spiritual and intellectual reasons.
Just because a guy marks himself as Single doesn’t mean he doesn’t already have that in his life, several times over. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t have any girlfriends. It doesn’t mean he’s not already in love with one or more of them.
In fact.. It doesn’t mean anything at all, other than that he’s currently unencumbered by anything that would prevent him from interacting authentically with you, should he elect to do that.
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