A reader recently asked me something to the effect of what my source of Confidence is.
I always envision the WIN. I always see myself winning before I do something.. Unless it’s something that springs up on the spur of the moment and I didn’t have time to plan for it.
My definition of a WIN might not be the same as yours, but I definitely envision my own, and then I gauge myself “backwards” from that outcome… I already know where I’m going, and then I judge how far along that path I am while the event’s occurring.
This also comes in handy during work situations, because I can feel when I’m running out of the amount of time that I definitely need to accomplish something. Say, for instance, a producer’s taking too long, fiddling with variations on a video we’re creating. I know that I need a certain amount of time to do titles, a certain amount of time to render the video, a certain amount of time to view the video for potential flaws and last-second changes, a certain amount of time to transfer the video to whatever media it’s going to be delivered on (DVD, tape, online viewing format..), and a certain amount of time to deliver the finished product wherever it has to go in order for it to air.
When I feel myself running out of time, it’s time for me to shut down the producer and start wrapping up the project. No more fiddling. We’re finished now. You will have your video on time, just like I agreed when I accepted the job.
So, knowing that I’m well on my way to my envisioned WIN gives me even more confidence as time goes on. When I start feeling like I’m encroaching on that LOSE period, I start getting nervous and respond differently… I don’t exactly lose confidence, because I know I can still accomplish my goal(s), but things get more frantic and I become hypersensitive to being so close to the edge, which rattles me but also gives me extra adrenaline which assures me that I can and WILL do whatever I have to do to make this happen the way I wanted it to.
When I was in elementary school, my gym teacher cheated me out of not one, but TWO class records I should have had. One of them was for running all the way around the block that my school was on.
He cheated me because a) he was the one with the stopwatch in his hand, so he got to say what our times were without anyone questioning him, and b) by letting the kid he wanted to have the records compete AGAIN, after I had already beaten his time in both events.
I could have elected to get mad about this, but I did like we do in New York City, and I said “Bet”.
“Bet” means “ok.. I see how you’re gonna carry this… NOW, watch what I do to you next time! >:D”
Eventually, ALLLLLL of us were on a field day and had to run at exactly the same time. All the kids were there, including the kid that had been handed the class record. The gym teacher was there, but the decision was out of his hands, because we were all starting at the same time, and everybody was going to see this. On top of that, all of our fathers were there as well, watching from the start/finish line.
I made sure I was in the front, so I had a clean shot at the start, and when the gun went off, I took off sprinting, while everybody else was jogging and pacing themselves for the end of the race.
1/4 of the way through the race, when I was twice as far away from the starting line as everyone else, a couple of my friends realized I had no intention of stopping or slowing down, and they started sprinting…
It was way too late for them by then, because a) they hadn’t trained to sprint 3/4 of the way, when I *KNEW* I could sprint 100% of the way, and b) they weren’t faster than me anyway, so all they were doing was maintaining my lead while they pulled away from the rest of the pack.
I’m sure I looked right at my gym teacher like “**** you” when I crossed the line, WELL in front of everyone else, and then waited there to greet my one homeboy that was only about 1/8th of the race distance behind me, and then waited for the pack of stragglers to eventually arrive.
This happened because I knew my HISTORY of running. I knew that the race distance was nothing for me, and I wasn’t even going to give the other kids the confidence that they had a chance by jogging with them and then breaking out later.
When I left, I took their hearts with me.
Everybody saw it. No stopwatches. No cheating gym teachers. No excuses. I won. Everybody else lost. BOOYAH!!! >:D
History is what gives me confidence in other areas as well, for the exact same reason.
Before I do something, I already know damned well that I can do it. I also know that I can do it well, or that I can do it better than other people.
I’m not guessing. It’s not pot luck. It’s practically guaranteed that as long as things go the way I think they will, I’ll be as successful as I planned to be.
This saves me a lot of energy and thought processing time that other people waste, wondering if they’re going to succeed or not. I don’t think about these things. All I’m thinking about while the action’s occurring is whether I feel I’m on track to achieve my pre-envisioned WIN or not.
Success Breeds Confidence. The more you WIN, the more you consider yourself A WINNER, and the more you EXPECT TO WIN. (assuming that you did the requisite preparation that normally leads to your success)
The only way to increase the level of your successes is to take chances. Otherwise, you’re repeating the same wins, ad infinitum. You’re doing what you already know you can do, instead of stepping outside of the box into uncharted territory.
The chances you’re taking, however, aren’t, let’s say “equal chances”. It’s not like you’re going to win or you’re going to lose. You’re either going to win BIG or win a little. History has already shown you that even failures on your part add up to greater successes than lots of other people achieve on their best days, so you may as well go for it and see if you can make something new and exciting happen.
The willingness to take chances gives you yet another mental edge over your competition.
A while back, I met this chick at a party and I failed to get contact information for her, which didn’t matter, because I knew that we had several mutual friends, all of whom were at the party where I met her and we were all hanging out together.
A day or two later, I contact one of the guys and tell him to give her my contact information and tell her to get in contact with me…. Dude was scared to ******* death. :/
Dude starts suggesting alternative ways that I could get in contact with her on my own, without his having to be involved.
I’m like “You ******* *****! 😀 haha What the **** are you so ******* SCARED OF? :D”
Now.. Like I said.. I didn’t need this dude to hook me up, because a) I had already met her IRL and had intended to “book her”, but I lost track of her before I left the party, and b) I know several dudes that know her that would have *IMMEDIATELY* put me in contact with her, so I was just testing him to see what he’d do.
The point, however, is that if he’s scared to death to tell some chick that SOME OTHER DUDE wants to talk to her, what’s he willing to say for himself? o_O … NOTHING.
Not a damned thing. Nothing. He’s going to stay quiet and shiver his timbers and quake in his boots while someone else kicks it to her, gets the rap and enjoys her company while he dreams about it.
If you’re not willing to take any chances in your life, you’re going to continue to get the same thing you’ve BEEN GETTING, which, in some cases is NOTHING AT ALL, so it’s a much better idea to formulate a plan, envision the win and GO FOR IT!
I’m a Content Creator. That means that I actually make stuff up. I did it. It’s a product of MY. MIND. Without me, it wouldn’t exist at all.
This is different from being an online news reporter or regurgitator or someone that only posts links to content that OTHER PEOPLE CREATED. If you’re that type of person, when that stream of links run out, your usefulness expires with it.
People like that are only as good as the links they can find on any given day.
I’m as good as whatever I elect to think about, write about, and/or create a video about on any given day.
I’m my own source of interesting and relevant material.
You’ve never read these words before because I just wrote them. I wrote them as they came to my mind.. Today.. Right now. I can do this all day, every day.
Originality is another source of Confidence. You’re not worried about which external factors are going to determine how interesting you’re going to be today. You’re not worried about what you’re going to say to this chick you’re meeting for the first time in your life. You’re not worried about how much they jack up the economy, because you occupy an unique place in your professional niche and you aren’t expendable… In fact.. The more people get fired, the more *YOU* get hired.
If the market dries up in NYC, you can get work in New Jersey. If the market dries up in Jersey, you can get work online, from your friends overseas in France, England & Israel.
If nobody needs videos, you can do social media. If nobody needs social media, you can mix records for bands. If bands don’t have budgets, you can teach kids how to successfully navigate the online world…
Originality allows you to freestyle in situations where other people are quaking in their boots and scared to death to act. It allows you to bring added value to anybody’s projects in fields you’re knowledgeable in. It allows you to enter situations CONFIDENT that even if you don’t know what’s going on right now, you’re going to be able to figure it out and achieve the best outcome for yourself before the event concludes.
So it’s a cycle. You have to have confidence to achieve success. You have to have success to achieve confidence.
The only way to kick-start that cycle is by TAKING CHANCES and jumping in where you’re not sure you’re going to succeed.
Sometimes, you’re going to win. Sometimes, you’re going to lose. Either way, it’s a learning experience that will help you the next time you attempt to advance your position.
So long as you focus on what you’ve learned about yourself instead of what other people try to tell you you can do or achieve, you’ll be aiiite. 😉
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