So, I read this update by this chick, right?.. Saying that some dude did her wrong, right? πŸ˜€

Of course, being a logical human being, I think that means she learned her lesson, so I put in my real, honest two cents about the situation and wake up to find out that she’s unfriended me or blocked me or whatever.

Not only that, but the comment I had left in her thread was deleted.

This is why nobody tells you the truth.

You can’t handle the truth.

You don’t want to hear the truth.

You get mad at people that tell you the truth, instead of rewarding them for honesty and their attempts to keep your life centered in reality rather than fantasy.

This is why people lie to you, get what they want, and bounce.

Extracting people who are willing to be REAL with you only leaves FAKE people in your life.

Does that make sense? >:D

You’re not hurting the person you blocked. You’re hurting yourself. You’re leaving yourself surrounded by a crowd of enablers, affirmation-chirpers, and bullshit artists that are willing to tell you anything you want to hear in order to remain in your good graces.

Keep listening to them without balanced input from opposing viewpoints and you’re going to need the coddling, affirmations and commiseration again in the very near future, because you’re not feeding your mind with what you need to improve yourself as a human being and prevent history from repeating itself.

If you say “Damn.. I can’t hit a 93 mph fastball”, and I say “That’s right. You can’t”, don’t get mad at The Kid! πŸ˜€

The fact that I spoke to you AT ALL means I’m trying to help you. If I didn’t care, I’d let you stay stupid and keep falling in the same traps.

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15 Comments

  1. Bill… You hit the nail right smack on top of its head. Also, this reminds me of a situation I just dealt with personally. A family member calls me and starts of the conversation with small talk. Ok, that’s fine. Then, family member decides it’s time to come out with what’s really going on. Family member asked me if I’d been “talking” to so & so. At first I didn’t know who Family member was talking about… I finally got the answer… I had interacted with this person I was accused of talking to on a social medium. In the end I came to realize Family member was only doing damage control to prevent from being exposed of the truth… from past experiences in life. TRUTH! Why are people so afraid of the truth? Because it exposes their dirty little lies/secrets. If they didn’t hide so much this wouldn’t happen… That’s living in torment! I lived in some torment int he past…. It’s a life of sheer fear. I’m so glad it’s gone now. No reason to hide anything anymore. It’s all been dealt with.

    1. Thanks for sharing that, Kimberly. πŸ™‚

      I find it amazing how people think it makes their lives better by only surrounding themselves with people that refuse to disagree with them.

      All that means is that you’re only receiving 1/2 of the story and your brain never develops to the point where you can figure things out for yourself. You just stay in the same uneducated mindset.

      Typical situation.. If someone’s dating someone and that person cheats on them, the lesson to be learned is “Some people cheat when they’re in relationships”, *NOT* “This one person cheated, which indicates that there’s something wrong with JUST THEM, and nobody else will ever cheat on me again, because this is the only person who thinks or acts this way”.

      If you say “He cheated because he never had any intention of being faithful to you”, she gets mad. If you say “He cheated because the other gal is in better shape than you are”, she gets mad. If you say “He intended to be faithful, but ‘temptation’ was too strong for him”, she gets mad… In fact, if you say *ANYTHING* other than “He’s crazy. You didn’t deserve that. There are more fish in the sea. It’s good you found out that he’s a cad before you had kids with him. He doesn’t deserve you. You’re worth more than that. BLAH BLAH BLAH”, she gets mad.

      It’s all about affirmation, enablement and coddling, which doesn’t help anyone develop their mind to deal with reality next time, or ever.

      You’re right about what you’re saying as well. The more authentic and transparent you are, the less you have to worry about who’s speaking to whom.

      Also, in those cases, it’s best to get to the point and just say “If you speak to whomever, don’t mention my personal business to them”, instead of all these fancy ways of beating around the bush.

      1. Bill, you said: “Also, in those cases, it’s best to get to the point and just say β€œIf you speak to whomever, don’t mention my personal business to them”, instead of all these fancy ways of beating around the bush.”

        I agree. Instead of saying something like “don’t talk to that person ever”. It’s ludicrous!

  2. The person that avoids the truth, messes things up for the people like me that strive in truth.

    Genuine and authentic relationships can only occur when you are genuine and authentic in your own dealings.
    If you meet a guy in a bar, he’s chatting you up and asking what you are doing later and you are on some romantic comedy B.S., thinking this is going to be your husband one day, you’re in trouble. He is letting you know what he wants. Believe him! He wants get to “know” you, but in the biblical sense. All interactions will be about getting to “know”. This is the truth. What women do with that truth is up to them.

    1. “If you meet a guy in a bar, he’s chatting you up and asking what you are doing later and you are on some romantic comedy B.S., thinking this is going to be your husband one day, you’re in trouble. He is letting you know what he wants. Believe him! He wants get to ‘know’ you, but in the biblical sense.”

      Exactly, Edie. πŸ™‚

      People don’t want to understand that focusing on the facts is the only way for them to properly comprehend and then efficiently act on the information they’ve received.

      If dude didn’t say anything to you about getting married, it’s a *POSSIBILITY*, but not before he tries to get on, which is a *DEFINITE*, or else he’d be chatting up some other chick.

      Also, if a gal tries to barter, like “I’ll hook up with you if you promise me XYZ”, she’ll probably receive the words, but it’s 50/50 that they’ll ever come true.

      Also, if a gal makes it about business, where she gets to go on a shopping spree for hooking up with him, she shouldn’t expect better treatment than any other paid performer, capisce? >:D

      So, Yeah.. If you say “Damn… I got GOT! :/” and I’m like “Yeah, you sure did!”, don’t get mad at *ME*, because I’m not the one that dissed you. Whomever YOU CHOSE to get involved with dissed you. That’s not my problem.

      It WILL BE my problem if I coddle and enable you by saying “The Sun’ll come out… Tomorrow…” or some garbage like that instead of trying to enlighten you so you can make smarter decisions in the future and I don’t have to hear you whining about this issue anymore! πŸ˜€

  3. Amen! Just another reason I hang around you! I try and surround myself with people who speak the truth. It is lies that I can’t handle. Life is too short to be surrounded in bullshit on any level.

    1. lol, You can count on me to tell you LIKE IT IS, Tracy! >;)

      There’s usually a good point to be found in *any* situation.

      The goal is to figure out what the point is or what the points are, come to an intelligent conclusion or at least an educated guess about what the proper response is, and then move on from there.

      Commiserating, Coddling and Enabling only puts off the REAL WORK of getting to the nitty-gritty until later or never!

  4. I agree. If you solicit an opinion then you can’t complain if you hear something you don’t like. HOWEVER there are tons of jerks in the world who feel the need to “be honest” in situations where their opinion was never solicited to begin with. It works both ways. If you want to be rude and offer a negative opinion no one asked you for: you deserve to be seen as an ill-mannered low life.

    1. Agreed, Meme. πŸ™‚

      The only question in this situation becomes.. With the world as it is today, with people posting information about their private lives to the internet.. what constitutes “soliciting an opinion”, and what doesn’t? o_O

      I totally agree that if you’re standing next to someone and you just go “Damn.. That’s a wack haircut”, you’re a jerk, because nobody asked you.

      But, if someone says “I crossed the street when the sign said don’t walk and got hit by a car”, and then you say “That’s why you either look both ways before you cross the street, or stay your ass out of the street when the electronics indicate that cars are going to be flying through that intersection”, you’re helping that person to not get run over in the future and potentially killed next time.

      If you surround yourself with people that say “awww… They’re jerks for running you over. It wasn’t your fault. That won’t happen NEXT TIME you cross the street against the light. Most drivers will stop for you…” you’re going to get run over again and again and again and again and again, until one time, you’re never going to get up again.

  5. Great answers and good questions.

    I’m pretty certain though that there is a happy medium between your first hypothetical response to the street crosser and the second. You can point out both the positive and negative aspects of the situation. No situation (or person) is 100% hopeless and life/love can be very unpredictable. (But say that mostly because the guy I am still hung up on can’t get over an ex that by all standards is pretty messed up looking but she keeps him “addicted” with her head games…

    1. lol, Here’s the happy medium:

      1) you got run over because that’s what happens sometimes to people that cross when they don’t have the light.

      2) you’re not dead.

      hahaha I agree with you about pointing out both sides, but what I’m saying (which I know you know) is that if you stack the deck with only the positive, you feel good at the moment, then fall in the same trap next time because you didn’t learn anything from people that are smarter than you.

      As far as that dude you like’s ex girlfriend, I agree with you that his addiction to her has something to do with head.

      1. Are you saying a woman can have a busted face, but if she gives good head then that is enough to keep a man hooked? Or am I reading you wrong?

        1. Absolutely correct, depending on your definition of “hooked”.

          Available sex from a busted-looking chick isn’t going to stop a guy from hooking up with other women, but it’s definitely going to keep her on deck if/when he starts dating other women.

          For some reason, women feel like when a guy starts hooking up with her, that means he’s no longer interested in other women or doesn’t have other sex available to him that he can partake in whenever he wants.

          So, sex can keep a guy “hooked”, meaning she won’t be entirely ejected, but it won’t make a guy “exclusively hooked”, because he’s still going to want a better-looking female (or richer, or better personality or whatever he’s missing with the busted chick).

  6. That definitely fits most people. I prefer the truth, because I can mistakenly think an outfit looks good on me that would look better in the garbage. honest friends are priceless, and the majority of human beings are too stupid to value them.

    1. Too stupid to value them, and too stupid to HEED them.

      That’s the other thing. It goes beyond “Does my ass look fat in these jeans? o_O”.. It could be that her ass looks fat in a good way or it looks fat in a bad way. If it’s the bad way, you might want to suggest a workout regimen for her or perhaps a different diet.

      OH NOOOOOOO!!! We can’t have THAT, now! :O

      So, knowing that a chick’s going to get mad if you tell her “I’ll tax that ass like the government if you hit the gym for a couple of months and drop 25 pounds”, you’re not going to say it and she’s not going to have any incentive to work out and you’re never going to hit it because you’re not physically attracted to her in her current condition.

      Who wins in that situation? \o/

      Nobody.

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