Bros Before Hoes” is generally misinterpreted to mean that anybody who is male gets preferential treatment in any situation where he’s in active or passive competition with a female.

An example of this is this 2008 election t-shirt design featuring Joe Biden and Sarah Palin:

This is not actually what Bros Before Hoes means, or what it stands for.

Before I get into the actual explanation, I’d like to say for the record that females have their own slogan for Girl Code, which is “Chicks Before Dicks”.


The way American society works, it’s very easy for guys to be friends with guys and it’s very easy for gals to be friends with gals. This is why you see a lot of polarized groups. You’ll see four guys hanging out at the baseball game. You’ll see seven women eating dinner together with no boyfriends in sight.

This is because, in general, males and females are not friends.

In fact, other than attempting to get laid, there are some guys that never speak to women at all.. unless they have to, like for some work project or something.

On the other side of the coin, there are some women that have no male friends at all either.. of their own choice and decision, not because girls don’t have friends that are guys.. That’s an entirely separate issue.

Meanwhile, Political Correctness would have you believe that we’re all one big androgynous melting pot. That’s not true.

Women often find this out the hard way… They think some dude is their friend, and then they announce to him that they’re not going to have sex with him and he vanishes into thin air like The Great Gazoo.

The Great Gazoo is a tiny, green, floating alien who was exiled to Earth from his home planet Zetox as punishment for having invented a doomsday machine, a weapon of immense destructive power.

His invention was a button which would destroy the universe if pressed, though he insists he made it on a whim with no intent of using it.

Gazoo was discovered by Fred and Barney when his flying saucer crashed.

*POOF* She never hears from him again, because the only reason he was speaking to her was so he could get laid.

This works in the other direction as well.. Guys will remain in the pocket and play that “friend” role until a chick announces that she’s broken up with her boyfriend, and then here come the suitors out of the woodwork, talkin’ ’bout how much they want to hit it, yadda yadda, when this whole time, they’ve been layin’ up in the cut, waiting for their turn to tap that ass.

So, what you end up with in this society is a group that seems to be based on equality, but it isn’t… Some people, including guys<->gals are actual friends, homies, home-skillets, like, they have a REAL relationship…. Other people are only allowed to remain in position as long as they remain functionally useful, and they’re often quickly and unceremoniously replaced.

This is the *actual* genesis of Bros Before Hoes.


In a seemingly-equal group of Americans, you actually have two classes.. The first class being people (guys or gals) that have been invited because someone respects their personality, and the second class being people (guys or gals) that are only allowed to hang around because one of the first class members is trying to **** them.

In the authentic application of the concept, a guy might have male “bros” and also female “bros”. The actual differentiation is how much the individual is valued as a person, and whether they’re considered a first class citizen, *NOT* whether they’re male or female.

For example.. Back in the day, guys would bring chicks around and introduce them to us as their girlfriend or “wifey” or whatever… I would play along with the game and interact with these gals as if they were going to be recurring characters in our lives.

In fact, I already knew that they were NPC’s (Non-Player Characters). In a movie, they would be considered “extras”. They’re in the movie, and you see them in the coffee shop, but they don’t have any lines and may or may not get their name in the credits at the end of the film.

The funny/backwards aspect of situations like that is that these NPC’s would swear up and down that they were pivotal, important people, and make statements and demands as if they were in some type of powerful position. 😀

Next thing you know, some other chick was being brought around by that same dude, introduced with the exact same title, and treated exactly the same way by tha fellaz.

No ceremony. No problem. No beef. No gradual or sudden dissolution of the relationship.. The previous chick would just disappear into thin air like The Great Gazoo, and she may or may not ever be mentioned again, ever in life.

If the story of her ejection was funny enough or interesting or educational enough, it might be told to the crew. Other than that, she was just replaced, and it was regular and no big deal and the next one up on deck got light until she disappeared also.

So, the actual meaning behind Bros Before Hoes is that if a dispute occurs involving a first class citizen (bro, male or female) and a second class citizen (ho, female), it’s in your best interest to side with the person who was your friend beforehand and will be your friend after the fact, instead of siding with the chick you happen to be screwing at this particular point in time, because you’re going to replace her with another one if she bounces.

You can’t replace actual friends that easily.

Chicks Before Dicks

Technically, this should work the same way in reverse, meaning:

The actual meaning behind Chicks Before Dicks is that if a dispute occurs involving a first class citizen (chick, female or male) and a second class citizen (dick, male), it’s in your best interest to side with the person who was your friend beforehand and will be your friend after the fact, instead of siding with the dude you happen to be receiving tha dilznick from at this particular point in time, because you’re going to replace him with another one if he bounces.

In reality.. Ain’t that type-a party. >:D

Most of the time, if you’re a friend of a chick and attempt to persuade her against the guy that’s currently hittin’ her off, you’re going to run into major resistance and might even get removed from her roster of friends.

This is why, when women don’t have any sex in their lives, they’re all content to hang out with a bunch of other women all the time, and then, AS SOOOOOOON as some guy’s willing to hit it, they bounce from “Girls’ Night Out” faster than Tea Party Debate audience members would let a 30-year-old without health insurance die.

So.. Since women’s emotional attachment to sex clouds their judgement, Chicks Before Dicks (Girl Code) isn’t as strictly adhered to as Guy Code.

There’s really no way around this… My advice to you is that if you have something negative to say to a female friend of yours regarding her source of sexual satisfaction, you’d better have as much concrete evidence as you can muster before you even bother to bring it up. 😀

Female Bros

There aren’t a lot of Female Bros. This is because, like I said earlier, a lot of guys don’t even talk to women unless they’re trying to screw them, and then, as soon as it’s determined that they can’t get any, the guy stops talking to them, because what’s the point of that? \o/

However, these situations occur.. Mostly through getting to know women through work or social media or through mutual friends or the chick used to date your homeboy or whatever.

When this happens, these relationships as real as they come.

A lot of people fail to perceive male<->female Bro relationships, because they don’t believe they exist.. like The Great Gazoo. This leads to serious miscalculations on their part, when they incorrectly apply “Bros Before Hoes” to a social situation.

If I’m chillin’ with a female Bro and she spies a guy she likes, I’m going to try to faciliate her getting laid (or whatever she’s trying to do with him), just like I would for some male homeboy of mine I happened to be chillin’ with that saw a chick he wanted.

Also, if I see something that I feel shouldn’t be happening to her, I’m gonna back *her* play, not the play of the dude that’s trying to get over.

This is entirely different from cockblocking… I’m not on the payroll. I’m not paid to babysit some grown-ass woman from giving it up to some dude.

As long as what he’s doing is on the up-and-up, I’ll let him rock. If he can talk her panties off or whatever, good for him, I hope he enjoys himself! >:D

However.. If I feel like the situation isn’t proper, I’m going to check with her.. *ESPECIALLY* if the only reason she’s where we are is because she agreed to come somewhere with me… If I’m the reason she left her house, I’m going to make sure she returns to her house safely. Period. I don’t give a flying **** what anybody thinks about that. It’s what’s happening.

There are too many guys and gals in this town that leave chicks laying around in the garbage… Not on *MY* watch.

Ass Out, In The Garbage


I wanted to clear this up because there are a bunch of clowns running around on “reality” shows claiming Guy Code when they really have no integrity whatsoever.

They’re making guys look like chumps by claiming Guy Code and then snitching on their so-called boy to his girlfriend about something he did or deliberately gossiping or instigating unnecessary conflict.

It’s even worse when their adherence to Guy Code only lasts as long as they don’t have a chick to climb up on, and as soon as they achieve that, they become one of the girls.

In fact, guys like this don’t have *ANY* Bros, whatsoever. They’re mercenaries. They’re out for self. Dolo. Just because they’re male doesn’t mean they have any legitimate claim to raise their glass in the club and yell “BROS BEFORE HOOOOOOOES!!! >:D”.

Dudes like that make things tougher for the rest of us, since women attribute their ridiculous behavior to guys in general.

If they were really down with Guy Code, they’d represent it properly… The guys that are down with you get special privileges. The gals that are down with you get special privileges, and, in return, need to carry that extra weight associated with being “one of the fellaz”. They need to keep the crew’s business ‘out that streets’, not cockblock, and generally fulfill the responsibilities of a first class citizen.

Since these dudes ARE NOT authentically down with Guy Code, they make the rest of us look shabby by snitching on their boys, not backing up their girls, and siding with second class citizens over first class citizens so they can get some trim one time in life.

A real relationship is a meritocracy. Just because a dude is male, that doesn’t make him your Bro. Just because a chick is female, that doesn’t make her your Ho.

Don’t play yourself by assuming you’re automatically considered a first class citizen due to accident of birth. Connect with Bill on Google+ | Facebook | Twitter | Email Subscription | RSS Feed

Join the Conversation


  1. Truth, about women leaving friends in the dust, when they start getting hit off. We call it “Jump, Jump, Jump to It” after the Aretha Franklin song. It is accepted as long as the guy is treating her right and has been “approved by the crew”. Good Read.

  2. Interesting take, BC.

    If I’m out with a girlfriend; she goes home with me. Period. No slutting on my watch. (I am talking meeting men. Not meeting up with a man she has met or knows.)

    If I’m out with a guy friend, he can slut off all he wants. Actually, I encourage it.

    So I guess I am sexist?

    So…my guy friends who are secretly trying to hit on me when my primary relationship ends. I think women know in the first minute if they would or wouldn’t. Yeah, sometimes it takes a while, but…for the most part, we are picky. First impressions are hard to get over. If I was attracted to them I’d hit it. I’m not. Why don’t men understand this? Why is it always about sex? Certain men will tell me I must be asexual because I don’t take “the hit”. I don’t want “the hit” from HIM!
    But I enjoy his company, am willing to pay my own way, hang out, and be cool. Inevitably, the guy makes the move and then things get all weird. Hate that. Or guys think if I am nice to them it means I ‘want’ them. No…I’m just nice to them because they are cool to hang with.

    99% of the time, there is no chemistry. None. Zero. I’ve had guys tell me they know we have it. We don’t. Yet they can be persistent. It is so odd to me. What is so wrong with great chemistry as friends? Why don’t guys want to be friends with girls? I love being bffs with guys. No drama, I can tell them I have PMS and they shut up. I let them know which girls are straight up and which ones to be wary of. When I do something stupid; they don’t care because they don’t care. When I do something stupid around girlfriends they gossip about it for days. Guys don’t obsess over the crappy outfit I wore. Or handbag. Or whether or not I didn’t get to the hairdresser that day. Guy friends are much more forgiving than women. I like that trait in men.

    Guys rule! Especially as friends.

    1. hahaha “Slutting”? 😀 What’s slutting? o_O

      If a grown-ass woman that you know feels like getting some, you feel like you have to babysit her?

      I agree with you entirely if you feel she’s incapacitated herself. You should look out for her under those conditions. I suppose at least it’s a consolation prize if you let your friend get the guy’s contact information and decide whether she wants to date him when you’re not around. 😀

      As far as the guys that hit on you when your relationship ends.. I continue to find it fascinating how many women think that we care whether y’all want us to kick it to you or not.

      It has nothing to do with that. If a guy thinks you’re sexually attractive, he’s going to try to get some. Period. There’s nothing else involved in the equation.

      It’s amazing how many women think that indicating a lack of sexual interest in a guy is a turnoff to that guy or puts him in some kind of “I’m not going to try to screw her” mode. I mean, I hear this A LOT! 😀

      “It” isn’t *always* about sex, but when it is, it is. The only thing that’s going to physically turn a guy off to you is if you’re no longer his physical type. He might elect to stop kickin’ it to you because you requested that, but that doesn’t mean that he’s no longer physically attracted to you or thinking about having sex with you all the time.

      “I know we have chemistry together” is a typical lie that guys use to try to trick women into spreading their legs.

      Unless a guy’s an empath (which the vast, vast majority are not), he can’t tell if you’re sweating him or not if you don’t act like it or give away obvious clues. He’s just saying what chicks normally fall for, like “I love you”.

      Guys DO want to be friends with girls… Except *ONLY* with girls that we think have cool personalities. It’s the same thing with guys. Guys don’t let other guys hang around that aren’t worth hanging around with, so the same goes for women.

      The problem is that a lot of women think they’re worth hanging out with other than for sex, and they’re wrong.

  3. You know what Bill, so damn true! Don’t you ever try and point out, much less tell her about the red flags, bells, and whistles you see around her man… even if you see him out with another girl or two or three…. the FIRST thing that will most likely pop out of her mouth is that you are just jealous that she has a man or you are jealous of their relationship. 0.0

    Bonus round if it’s two friends who are with the same guy…. much less both being interested in the same guy although al they’ve ever done was smile at him from across the room.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.