I’m not a regular person. I never have been.. Most likely, never will be.

My life is not “usual”.. The things I do aren’t “usual”.

I don’t remember when I recognized this for sure, but I’ve been aware of my individuality for my entire life.. I was illin’ in kindergarten and never stopped.

Because I know who I am, I don’t expect people to treat me like an average person.

To put that another way, I expect people to treat me in an average fashion until they figure out who I am.

After that, they have three choices:

  1. Love it.
  2. Hate it.
  3. Ignore it.

That’s all you have, and I don’t give a flying **** which one floats your boat.

The people that want to be down STAY DOWN, and the people that don’t, BOUNCE.

That’s how my life works… Ebb & Flow. People arrive. People leave.

This is the reason I was laughing my ass off at this week’s Jersey Shore episode. 😀

It’s one thing to think you’re great because you think you’re great.

It’s an entirely different thing to think EVERYBODY ELSE thinks you’re great because *YOU* think you’re great.

I tend to find it hilarious when people’s delusions run headfirst into the wall of Reality.

More on this topic later…

Free *****

Nicole finds out from her “boyfriend” that Jenni’s boyfriend isn’t coming to Italy.

Jenni cries about it on the phone to her boyfriend, as he explains that his job vetoed his taking time off, so he can’t leave.

Everybody except Nicole goes to the club to get drunk and dance.

While she’s home alone, the only chick Mike’s bagged the entire time he’s been in Italy shows up ringing the buzzer to the house… Nicole decides that it would be a funny prank to let this chick in and stash her in Mike’s bed, hoping to retaliate against him for snitching to all the male housemates that Nicole blew him between seasons (and making a clear and obvious point that she was already with her current “boyfriend” when she blew Mike).

This was stupid for four reasons:

  1. She’s stupid.
  2. If Mike wouldn’t have scored a chick for that night, Nicole was hooking him up with free ***** = WIN for Mike, LOSE for Nicole.
  3. If Mike *DID* score a chick for the night, Nicole might have hooked him up with an unearned threesome = WIN for Mike, LOSE for Nicole.
  4. If Mike scored a chick that wasn’t actually DTF, Nicole was saving him the trouble / wasted time of having to bootie call his guaranteed lay in the middle of the night = WIN for Mike, LOSE for Nicole.

#4 is exactly what happened. Mike brought home some Herb chick that didn’t look like she was even trying to take her clothes off, and he booted her unceremoniously when he realized he was already going to get laid.

PEACEBEYOTCH!!! >:D .. And thanks for the hookup, Nicole! 😀

Let this be a lesson to you, ladies.. You can *NEVER*… I repeat, *NEVER* disrespect a guy by making guaranteed sex with a chick he’s already hooked up with available to him.

More MTV Deletions

10 minutes into the episode, the guys come home.. Ronnie’s by himself, because he’s going to hook up with Sammi, as usual.

If you look at the brief clip they show of the guys amassed at the front door of the house, they have three chicks with them. Vinny’s talking to one in a grey dress. Mike’s talking to one in a black skirt. Pauly’s talking to one in a black dress.

The only storyline MTV chooses to follow is the one where Mike brings his chick to his room and discovers his usual ***** waiting in bed for him.

Pauly’s girl vanishes into thin air, and they show him hanging out with Deena.

Vinny and his girl disappear entirely. We can assume Vinny scored.

Once again, for reasons unbeknownst to me, MTV has elected to delete the main storyline of Jersey Shore, which is hooking up.

Instead of figuring out whether Vinny got on, we are treated to another incredibly redundant situation where Mike has struck out yet again and screws the same chick he’s been tappin’ since he arrived in Italy.

I’m beginning to believe that this chick and her “Virgin Sister” are plants by MTV.

This one chick has accounted for 95% of the sex in this entire Jersey Shore: Italy season, if you add her virgin sister hooking up Deena and Vinny on the same night to her total.

The funny part about the chick Mike ejected is, I don’t know why he pulled her from the club to begin with. The chick was a ******* dweeb. I mean, was he REALLY going to hit that? o_O

C’MON, SUNN :/

Paranoia

Nicole’s “boyfriend” arrives in Italy.

He keeps getting quotes because he thinks he’s her boyfriend, but he’s actually not.

Nicole blew Mike while she was already dating this guy.

Nicole spent the better part of a day and night making out with Deena and fumbling around with her under bedsheets, then told her “boyfriend” that she got drunk and made out with Deena, minimizing the severity of the situation.

So, dude isn’t currently aware of the type of girl he’s dating when he walks in the door…

Also.. If you haven’t been keeping up with the series, Nicole told her “boyfriend” that Mike had been LYING and saying he hooked up with her, and then she swore up and down that that wasn’t true.

This means that there’s *AUTOMATICALLY* a MAJOR PROBLEM between this dude and Mike… Either dude believes that Mike hooked up with his girlfriend, or dude believes that Mike LIED ABOUT hooking up with his girlfriend, and has been spreading rumors to make her look like a whore.

What’s even more interesting than the fact that dude might have a problem with Mike is that HE. DOESN’T. HAVE. A. PROBLEM. WITH. VINNY. who’s been screwing his girlfriend every chance he gets. 😀

You’d swear this guy hasn’t watched *ANY* of the Jersey Shore episodes. He greets Vinny like everything’s everything, when Vinny’s been up in his girl more than Mike has.

Nicole hustles to screw this dude, and meanwhile, Mike, who isn’t even drunk, is looking PARANOID:

Paranoia is a thought process believed to be heavily influenced by anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion. Paranoid thinking typically includes persecutory beliefs, or beliefs of conspiracy concerning a perceived threat towards oneself.

The reason why Mike is scared is that he’s not an actual Player.

First of all, he should have never said that Nicole blew him. Second, he should never have said that she did it while she was currently going out with this dude that’s now living under the same roof with him. Third, he shouldn’t have said that to the fellaz. Fourth, he shouldn’t have said it in front of Ronnie, who you knew was going to tell Sammi, who you knew was going to tell the rest of the girls. Fifth, he shouldn’t have said it on camera. Sixth, he shouldn’t have talked all kinds of trash about how dude isn’t the right guy for Nicole. Seventh, he shouldn’t have been trying to press up on Nicole the entire time that they’ve been in Italy.. I guess that means the head was all that.

So, Mike has lots of reasons to feel like this dude might decide to punch him in his face, but, in reality, dude shows up calm and collected and isn’t even thinking about Mike.

In fact, Mike The SNITCHuation is so *SHOOK* that he doesn’t even dare speak in his regular voice when he’s in the living room with Vinny. He’s practically whispering, so Nicole’s “boyfriend” doesn’t get the slightest idea that Mike’s *STILL* talking about him behind his back.

Shook. Scared to death. Scared to look.

Next thing you know, this dude Mike, who just recently got rushed by Ronnie, who’s shorter than Mike and taller than Nicole’s “boyfriend” is practicing his karate kicks which he neglected to break out on Ronnie before the bouncers broke up their 7-second fight.

Please. Spare me. :/

This is what happens to Haters that pretend to be Players. They spend all their time thinking about and talking about the next man, while that guy’s enjoying his life and getting some ass from the chick that the Hater wishes he had.

Act Like A Skank Or Have A Boyfriend

Here’s where the rubber meets the road, people. 😀

MTV did a very good job of making the point in just about every episode of this season that Nicole’s “boyfriend” doesn’t like slutty behavior, raunchy speech, or chicks that act loose, in general… Meanwhile, Nicole has ignored him every time he told her to stop acting stupid.

This is because she’s an abnormal person that thinks she’s normal.

She thinks the way she acts is a) regular, and b) acceptable.. Neither one is true.

In fact, she’s a weirdo.

Somehow, she concealed this from her “boyfriend”, and, again, I guarantee you that he hasn’t actually watched *ANY* of the episodes of Jersey Shore, because she’s throwing ***** at guys left and right during the whole entire series, and there’s no other way that he wouldn’t have known full well who she was and what kind of female he was dating.

First of all, she’s suffering from an identity crisis. She’s addicted to Italian-American men, even though she’s Chilean, ZERO PARTS ITALIAN, and adopted.

Second, as weird as she acts when she’s sober, she turns into a completely irresponsible and irrational lunatic when she drinks.

Again.. You would swear this “boyfriend” character had NEEEEEVER been around her when she drinks, because the same thing happens every single time they go to a club… MTV *always* has to blur the shot because her panties are showing, if she happens to be wearing any… In fact, she’s done full cartwheel flips in dance clubs so everyone in the vicinity can get a good look.

Somehow, either due to Alcoholism or Megalomania, she decides that even though her “boyfriend” has told her a gazillion times that he hates raunchy behavior from women, it would be a good idea for her to get on a small stage in front of him and spread her legs like a common stripper.

I’ve seen this behavior before… Not raunchy stripper-dancing, but chicks that refuse to get the signal as far as what their boyfriends want and don’t want from them.

What’s worse, in this particular case, is that besides ignoring her “boyfriend”‘s desires, Nicole believes that her behavior should be condoned and accepted by people whose reputations are standing or falling based on their association with her.

This is, in fact, the exact opposite of the truth. If you elect to be an asshole, you will most likely end up being an asshole by yourself.

Nobody has to stay with you for any reason, whatsoever.

Nobody has to accept your insubordination.

Nobody has to stand around while you Stripper It Up and make them like the guy that brought the whore to the party.

It’s embarrassing. Dude looks like a customer because you look like a hooker.

According to the edit, Nicole receives her first warning from her “boyfriend”.. While she’s spreading her legs and gyrating on a couch, he says “Everyone can see your *****.”

She receives her second warning when he tells her “You’re dancing like a ******* whore.”

Her third warning is when he tells her (twice) “Stop!”. Her response is an incredible and unbelievable “You don’t want to talk to me? Bye! :D” and then she keeps dancing for about three steps until he throws her jacket in her direction and BOUNCES!!! >:D

HAHAHAHAHAHA That’s what you get for talking all that ****.

I really have to say for the record that I was completely amazed that dude broke out and flat left her. 😀

Total credit is due. Props. Props! 😀 hahaha I figured dude was going to accept her ridiculous, rude, obnoxious, assholeish behavior, and he totally didn’t.

I’m guessing that somehow, Nicole had avoided ever being drunk around this dude, because that’s what she does every single episode. Once he experienced her “being herself”, he wasn’t interested and he left.

Slow-Speed Chase

Next thing you know, it’s an O.J. Simpson, slow-speed chase through the streets of Italy, with the “boyfriend” escaping and Nicole, Jenni and Ronnie following him, with Sammi and Deena following THEM.

Nicole continues to drunkenly and insanely babble about nothing intelligent, eventually stopping to tell a parked car “Piss off, you ******* stupid taxi cab! You’re so stupid! I hate you! :(”

Next, Ronnie tries to talk him out of being upset.

We all know Ronnie isn’t good with… words.

He selects “This is the life you walked into.. This is the life you walked into..”

This was easily countered by “I’m walking out.”

\o/

This is one of the reasons why people like this don’t curb their stupid behavior. Their so-called friends enable them by trying to clean up their messes for them.

In fact, destroy-all-your-girlfriend’s-possessions-and-then-cry-about-it-later-Ronnie should be THE LAST housemate trying to hand out relationship advice to anybody at all.

Then Ronnie goes “You want to walk away from her?” and dude goes “I have to.”

This is the entire point. When people find out that other people are blatantly and obviously unacceptable, that’s all she wrote. Game over. She’s done.

Mind you.. 😀 haha Next episode, dude might flake out and turn around and give her another chance to be someone other than who she naturally is, but I don’t know that because I haven’t seen next week’s episode, so I have to go with what I’ve already seen and give him his propers.

The next attempt Ronnie makes is the ultra-weak “As a REAL MAN, like, talk to her!” 😀

No.. Sorry.. As a REAL MAN, he recognizes what’s not acceptable to him in a girlfriend and kicked that ***** to the ******* curb, quick fast in a hurry, Flava’z vision ain’t blurry.

There’s no “talking to” someone that, as a grown-ass woman, thinks it’s a good idea to strip and act like a hooker in the presence of her boyfriend, who has already told her several times to stop even SPEAKING about raunchy topics on the phone.

Nicole received her warnings, ignored them, decided she’s going to be herself, and got what she ******* deserved. Dude left.

If she had been acting like that when she first met him, she would never have made it to girlfriend status in the first place. He would have either hit it and quit it, or he wouldn’t have given her any light at all if he was specifically looking for an actual girlfriend, not some chick he gets to screw and then she carries herself as a drunken, raunchy exhibitionist whenever he’s not around… and, in this case, even when he *IS* around! 😀

This is the reason I started this article the way I did.

When you’re an unusual person, you don’t get to date “USUAL” people.

What you get is the subset of the population that derives more pros than cons from interacting with you. What you get is the subset of the population that doesn’t mind your idiosyncrasies. What you get is people that find your abnormal behavior to be normal, which is what we see in the responses of the housemates towards Nicole’s boyfriend, and is also the reason why they keep hooking up with each other… They all think they’re normal, when, in fact, they’re all similarly abnormal.

Circle The Wagons

Next up was the parade of enabling Nicole and trying to make her “boyfriend” look like a weirdo for dumping her:

Ronnie – “That’s the life you walked into” – This is a residual from the fact that he’s addicted to Sammi and Sammi’s addicted to him. He doesn’t see “life” as something where a grown-ass man or a grown-ass woman can elect not to interact with someone because they break all their belongings and throw their bed out on the balcony.

Ronnie – “She picked YOU up at Seaside.. like.. Think about it, like..” – Essentially, Ronnie’s saying “What do you expect? You met her at a meet/meat market. You know you only meet whores in meet markets, so what did you expect her to be?”

This is one of those double-standard situations, where the housemates know that Nicole and Deena are loose, but they refuse to say so, because they’re “friends”, but then, they expect for normal people to extend the females some kind of “whore discount”, like “Of course she’s going to show all her T&A and everything else to the public at a bar or club, haven’t you been watching the episodes?.. What’s the matter with you? o_O”

Sammi – “Nicole is an emotional wreck. I feel like crying over this whole thing” – Sorry, that’s bullshit. You know she covered up blowing Mike when she was already with her boyfriend. You know she downplayed making out with Deena for half a day. You know that she’s not the person that she’s portrayed to her “boyfriend”, so you don’t get to feel upset when he finds out the truth.

Vinny – “The fact that you’re getting upset that Nicole did something a little skanky?.. is, you know, like, ridiculous” – Like I said before.. Nicole’s “boyfriend” should have had more of a problem with Vinny than he could have had with Mike… Mike was accused by Nicole of lying when he said they hooked up. Vinny’s hooked up with Nicole ON VIDEOTAPE. We’ve all seen it. Vinny has no problem messing with Nicole, no matter how raunchily she behaves. He’s not the one to say what’s “ridiculous” about a guy that wants an actual girlfriend getting upset because Nicole did something “a little skanky”.

First of all, a little skanky is just like a little pregnant. It doesn’t exist.

A chick has class or she doesn’t. Period.

So, if the requirements for a chick to become a girlfriend is that she IS NOT A SKANK, that means that “a little skanky” disqualifies her.

Second, she was “a little skanky” while dude was TELLING HER TO STOP. If she’s not going to follow orders, she’s disqualified.

The concept that someone has to accept you as-is and be in a relationship with you is a compete lie.

If Nicole’s “boyfriend” doesn’t like skanky behavior from females, then Nicole has two choices.. don’t act like a skank around him or watch him disappear. Poof! 😀

Anyway… Since we know damned well that Vinny will screw Nicole even if she jumps into a cesspool and climbs back out, his opinions on what someone looking for an actual girlfriend should or shouldn’t do are entirely invalid.

Pauly – “What happened?”
Jenni – “She showed her vagina and boobs on the dance floor, he got so embarrassed, he told her to stop”
Pauly – “Dude knew what he was getting himself into. He should be more secure. That’s no way to handle your problems, my dude.”

You see what I mean? These people are off their rockers and they think they’re normal.

“This is the life he walked into”? “He knew what he was getting himself into”? “So what if she did something a little skanky”?

SO WHAT is that her behavior isn’t acceptable, so she gets fired, booted, bounced, ejected, excommunicated. SEEYA! >:D

In fact, that’s EXACTLY the way to handle your problems “as a REAL MAN”.. Delete the problem by stepping to the left.

Also, I disagree that he knew what he was getting himself into. He took her word that she didn’t blow Mike. He took her word that she just kissed Deena a couple of times or whatever lie she told him. It’s one thing to know “your girlfriend” is out there like that and accept her for who she is. It’s an entirely different thing to BELIEVE she’s normal, accept her lies as truths and then find out that even when you’re standing right there and telling her to clean up her ******* act, that she STILL can’t act right, so now you know that when you’re not there, she goes buck wild and anything goes = unacceptable = ejected.

So, what Nicole should have done was skanked out from the beginning, as soon as she met him. That way, there wouldn’t have been this charade of a relationship until she finally got caught being herself.

SEEYA!!! >:D

So, in the best scene of the entire episode, which I must have watched at least 80 times!!! 😀 the “boyfriend” finally comes home, and Nicole rings him into the building.

The fixed staircase camera shows her running down the stairs to greet him while he’s running up the stairs to get his stuff and bounce from Italy.

They can’t see each other because it’s a two-flight staircase, so you see both of them until they both get to the landing, and dude breezes by her like a bum holding the door at McDonald’s.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Priceless! >:D

She follows him through the house, until he locks himself in a room. She proceeds to scream at him that she hates him and then that she loves him and all other types of meaningless drivel.

She finally barges into the room and asks him what she did to him. He tells her that when she was on the stage, she took her skirt and lifted it up. She immediately starts lying and saying “No!”

Too bad for her, the cameras saw the whole thing, and she’s obviously lying.

The problem here, again, is that dude has been asking her on the phone how her night’s been going. She’s been telling him that nothing’s been happening, and that she’s been “good”. Meanwhile, the first night he’s around her in person, on vacation, in Italy, she goes berserk with the skankiness to the degree that dude’s like “Oh.. I see who she is now. Not interested.”

This actually parallels Deena’s telling the guys she didn’t cockblock Mike and Vinny, but being at the restaurant with the girls, bragging that Vinny got her “sloppy seconds” when she handed over “Virgin Twin” to him, and also denying hooking up with the girl… EVERYBODY. SAW. WHAT. YOU. DID!.. If you lie to people in their faces about stuff that they SAW YOU DO, then they’re never going to believe you ever again about things that they DIDN’T SEE.

This leads to the best line I’ve ever heard from any character ever in the entire time that I’ve been watching Jersey Shore (which is from the very beginning):

“Seeya!.. You can walk away. G’ahead. You screwed up with me. No, you did. So just.. go over there. Get out of here. I’m done with this. I’m done with you. I don’t need a girl that lifts up her skirt on the stage. Get out of here. Seeya. You’re single.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 😀 Perfection! >:D

Here’s what you did, it’s not acceptable, this is over, go lift your skirt for someone that gives a ****.

More From The Peanut Gallery

Jenni – “I’m like, dude.. If you’re really gonna leave here, like, you’re a ****. You just spent 21 hours traveling to Italy, and you’re gonna leave after 6, because of an argument?.. Like, what does that have to say about you?” – What it says is that you people are all FREAKS and he’s not interested in claiming one of you as his personal property.

What’s too bad for him is that he already signed the releases, saying that MTV could use his likeness and audio in their productions BEFORE he found out that Nicole is prone to “acting a little skanky”, as Vinny would say.

What’s good for him is that as soon as he realized he had been duped, he bounced.

By now, like the rest of the world, he’s seen the footage of Nicole and Deena that was previously aired. He’s seen the video of the guys sitting at the restaurant saying how upset Nicole’s “boyfriend” would be if he found out she had hooked up with Deena. He’s seen how the housemates covered up for her and coached her to lie to him and tried to get him to give her more chances not to be who she actually is.

That’s how real life works, too, except there’s no videotaped evidence.

Mike – “On the surface, he looks like a nice kid, but at the end of the day, that kid was a ******* wankster.”

Vinny – “He knows exactly who he’s dating. For him to get mad about Nicole acting a little crazy in a club, that’s weak.”

Nicole – “I’m a really good girlfriend. I didn’t cheat on you, I didn’t do anything. I get a little crazy when I drink, but that’s it. Like, I just don’t understand why he left me, because he knows that I love him.”

Here’s what y’all don’t understand..

Some guys aren’t looking for free and easy sex. o_O

Somg guys are looking for women to start a family with.
Some guys are looking for women that they would be proud to introduce to their family and important friends.
Some guys are looking for women that aren’t going to embarrass them.
Some guys are looking for women that are mentally compatible with them.
Some guys are looking for women that don’t turn into someone different when they’re drunk.
Some guys are looking for women that know how to follow instructions.
Some guys are looking for women that their children can be proud to call “Mom”.
Some guys are looking for women that they can’t meet on any given weekend night at a local club or bar.

When you’re entrenched in “Hookup Culture”, you think everybody else considers you and the things you do to be normal.

They don’t.

There’s no such thing as “a little skanky”. There’s skanky and not-skanky. If you’re looking for an actual girlfriend, you don’t want someone that MIGHT skank-out when she gets drunk. You don’t want someone that might decide to pull her skirt up when you’re at a party with your family. You don’t want someone that is going to make you look like you have no taste in women in business situations. You don’t want someone that you can’t believe when she says she “didn’t do anything” last night.

This is what happens when you’re surrounded by people that tell you your strange-ass behavior is normal and that anyone in their right mind should be glad to be in a relationship with you.

If you don’t know you’re abnormal, you can’t plan your life out correctly.

If you’re entrenched in Hookup Culture or any other subculture, stick to people who like how you think and act.

If you insist on crossing over, BE REAL from the giddyap, because eventually, you’re not going to be able to resist being yourself and destroy your relationship.

If you don’t feel like doing that, make sure you never get drunk around your significant other.

If you do get found out for being an exhibitionist or a skank or whatever, don’t bitch & moan about it. That’s what’s supposed to happen to you. It’s no big deal. You can dust it off and try again.

I suppose the moral of today’s story is that if you’re friends with someone whose behavior is obviously going to cause them to get dumped, it’s in your friend’s best interest for you to let them know what you see happening to them in the future and tell them that you’d like to help them avoid that.

If they tell you they don’t care, and they’re going to be themselves, regardless, and if their SO doesn’t like it, they can kick rocks, then you don’t have to offer them a shoulder to cry on when the hammer drops.

A nice “What the **** are you crying about? I told you this was going to happen a long time ago” should tighten them right up.

billcammack.com Connect with Bill on Google+ | Facebook | Twitter | Email Subscription | RSS Feed

Join the Conversation

1 Comment

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.