Mental Breakdown

In block 1, Nicole has a mental breakdown because nobody will explain to her that the way she carries herself is raunchy and unacceptable.

This is the reason why people shouldn’t enable weirdos.

At least, if you’re going to enable somebody that behaves strangely, balance your interaction with them with reality, or what Politically Correct people call “Tough Love”.

Your “boyfriend” told you he doesn’t like chicks that speak or act like whores. You continued to speak and act like a whore. He told you to stop. You refused to stop, and, in fact, told him “You don’t want to talk to me?.. BYE!!!” and started dancing like your life was lovely, and then when he threw your jacket at you and broke north with no delay, your entire world fell apart.

When y’all keep telling chicks that nothing is ever their fault, they start believing it. This is why they sit around, alone, drinking, wondering what happened to their so-called “relationship” because none of you will tell her that she personally drop-kicked it out the window by acting like an asshole when she was ordered to cease and desist.

I Already Told My Moms That My Girlfriend Is A Whore

Block 2 was actually interesting.

Jenni decides she wants to try to help Nicole.. once again, enabling her ridiculousness by trying to smooth things over for her in a relationship that Jenni isn’t involved in.

She calls Nicole’s “boyfriend”, who initially lies and says that he’s gone, then he lies and says he’s in Rome (instead of Florence, where the Jersey Shore house is), then he lies and says he’s on a train to Rome (not the sharpest pencil in the box, this dude), then he admits that he’s actually still in Florence, but at the train station WAITING FOR a train to Rome.

He does a nice thing for Nicole, letting Jenni walk her to the train station so she can talk to him in person. It was good of him to give her that amount of closure.

According to the edit, he didn’t tell her WHY he was leaving and WHY their relationship is now over (as if it ever existed in the first place).

The most important aspect of this section is that we find out that his mother changed his travel tickets for him after HE “called his family, flipping out, and they booked him a new flight”.

The reason why this is important is that it’s one thing for a dude to feel like you’re unacceptable as far as being in a relationship with him. It’s a totally different and way more important thing if HIS MOTHER thinks you’re unacceptable to be in a relationship with her son.

This indicates that her “relationship” really is completely over, because she’s never going to be able to live this down. In fact, dude would have had to have prevented his parents from EVER watching ANY episodes of Jersey Shore if he wanted them to think that Nicole was appropriate to become his wife, bear his children and represent his family name.

Anyway, even though he wasn’t shown on tape to tell her to her face that he doesn’t trust her anymore, because she can’t even conduct herself as a respectable lady IN FRONT OF HIM when she’s drunk, so who knows what the hell she does when he’s not around, and he’s not willing to take that chance, it was still good of him to at least see her and give her the chance to explain herself while she was sober and for him to tell her while she’s sober that he’s done with her, wishes her well, and needs to bounce.

Finally, Some Truth

Later in the show, we hear this exchange, which is the most important, relevant and authentic conversation EVAR in the history of “Jersey Shore”:

  • Nicole – I’m just really sad that you left, so..
  • “boyfriend” – To be honest with you, walking out was something I had to do. If I just sat there and watched you dancing with your skirt up, that means you don’t respect me.
  • Nicole – Really? I have to accept the fact that you left, because that happened?
  • “boyfriend” – Well.. I have to accept that my girlfriend was dancing like a ******* pig in front of me?.. Like, what do you want me to do?
  • Nicole – A pig?… I can’t believe you just said that, I’ve been crying my eyes out because you left.
  • “boyfriend” – Nicole.. You picked your ******* skirt up and had your underwear on.. Who does that?
  • Nicole – I don’t know.. I was drunk and I just wanted to have sex with you.
  • “boyfriend” – You made the decision to embarrass me and do something that girlfriends don’t do to boyfriends that they care about… People don’t do that, so I made the decision to leave. It’s that easy. Why can’t you think about what I’m saying?
  • Nicole – No, because you’re hurting my feelings. I don’t even know why we’re together right now, because I’m not happy. I don’t deserve this, ok, I don’t.
  • “boyfriend” – ok.. And I deserve to fly across the country and have my girlfriend humiliate me?
  • Nicole – Whatever. You’re making me feel really low… I don’t want to talk right now. You’re making me really upset.
  • “boyfriend” – We’re going to talk this over.
  • Nicole – No, I don’t want to talk to you because you’re like “You shouldn’t have done that, blah blah blah”, you make me feel like a ******* bad person. Stop.
  • Because you’re making me really ******* depressed. This whole time, I’m depressed because of you, and I’m not being myself, so thank you.

  • “boyfriend” – So, why are you with me?
  • Nicole – I don’t know. I’m asking myself that ****** question right now. So Stop.
  • “boyfriend” – What do you mean you’re not being yourself? You’re drunk seven days a week, you’re hooking up with girls, and you’re dancing in your underwear. That’s not you?
  • Nicole – That was so mean.
  • “boyfriend” – I’m saying.. How are you not being yourself? I don’t get it. What am I doing to you that’s not making you be yourself?
  • Nicole – I don’t want to talk to you right now, and I’m not going to call you for a few days. I need a break from you. I don’t want to talk to you.
  • “boyfriend” – Excuse me?
  • Nicole – I’m sorry. I don’t want to talk to you.
  • “boyfriend” – That’s your decision?

  • Nicole – Yeah, that IS my decision. You should have never said that before. Good job.
  • “boyfriend” – Said what?
  • Nicole –

There are at least a million important points in that exchange, but here are some highlights:

“I told you not to act like a whore, you decided to get drunk and act like a whore, so you were disrespecting me” is countered by “I was drunk” = LOSE

“You were dancing like a pig in front of me” was countered by “I can’t believe you said that after I was crying that you left” = LOSE

“You picked your skirt up in public” was countered by “I was drunk and wanted to have sex with you” = LOSE

“You embarrassed me by doing something that girlfriends don’t do to boyfriends that they care about” was countered by “You’re hurting my feelings” = LOSE

“We’re going to talk this over” was countered by “No. You’re making me feel like a bad person” = LOSE

AND!!! 😀 HAHAHA The Mother Of *ALL* Reality-Checks… “What do you mean you’re not being yourself? You’re drunk seven days a week, you’re hooking up with girls, and you’re dancing in your underwear. That’s not you?” is countered by abject silence = LOSE

Here it is.. And I’ve been saying this for years, already… Remember all that SHIT you talk about the girls that the guys bring home to screw?.. IT APPLIES TO YOU, TOO.

If you don’t like that, stop acting like that. You can’t act like that and get a pass because you’re you and they’re not.

The people that are giving you a pass know and believe that you’re a whore, but won’t tell you to your face because that’s what they think friendship is, and then, when you get dumped by someone that wants to date a respectable woman, they screw your mind up even more by telling you that HE’S the strange one for not accepting you the way you are.

That’s usually because THEY’RE freakazoids as well.

The rest of the foxes will tell you that you belong in the henhouse, and the farmer was wrong for kicking you out, no matter how many chickens you just ate.

This is why it’s in NOBODY’S best interests to let weirdo drunken omnisexuals think that normal people are going to accept them into traditional boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.

IN FACT… What’s even worse than her “boyfriend” telling her the truth about herself, such as “You’re drunk seven days a week, you’re hooking up with girls, and you’re dancing in your underwear. That’s not you?” is that NICOLE. DOESN’T. LIKE. THE. TRUTHFUL. AND. VIDEOTAPED. REALITY. ABOUT. HERSELF. o_O

“You’re making me feel like a bad person” means “You’re talking about me in the same way that I talk about other girls, because I thought I was exempt from the exact same scrutiny and judgement”. You’re not. You are what you eat, Capisce?

Your Feelings Don’t Matter

Another really great interaction occurred later on in the episode:

  • Jenni – You’re going to lose Nicole as a friend.
  • Mike – No. I won’t.
  • Jenni – You really don’t think she won’t?
  • Mike – No.
  • Jenni – She will choose her boyfriend over anybody.
  • Mike – So when Nicole was blowing me, right?.. Watching her girlfriend get ******…
  • Jenni – You’re talking about my best friend giving you head?
  • Mike – Well.. She did that.

This is a typical clash between THE FACTS and SOMEONE’S FEELINGS about the facts.

Jenni claims, based on idealism and not wanting to admit that her homegirl is a whore and very well should have been dumped by her so-called “boyfriend”, that Nicole will choose her “boyfriend” over anybody.

This is offensive to Mike, who knows (because it happened to him), and who has said countless times on the show that Nicole blew him while she was already “with” her current “boyfriend”.

Like I was saying above.. “Your homegirl blew me” is *NOT* successfully countered by “I don’t like that you said that. You’re a creep”.

The facts remain intact. Unless you were there, and you’re an eyewitness, or you saw videotape of the interaction, you have *ZERO* direct knowledge of what your homegirl did or didn’t do. How you feel about what she allegedly did is of no consequence, whatsoever. Your only option in life is to ask her if she did it or not and then believe her or believe him.

Make sure that you include, when you decide whether she blew him or not, that she’s messed with Mike several times on videotape already. Make sure that you include that she made out with and hopped into bed with Deena and lied to her boyfriend about it. Make sure you include all the other times she’s tried to throw ***** at guys since the show started filming. Make sure you include how she’s prone to waking up in the morning and not remembering what happened the night before (as we’ve ALSO seen on videotape). Make sure you include that Mike wasn’t the only person there when Nicole blew him….

Make sure you include that when Mike asked Nicole if she wanted him to recount exactly what happened that night, she walked away, instead of challenging him. Make sure you include that she keeps trying to call them “just friends” and then admitted in this episode that they hooked up in Los Angeles. o_O

She’s. *******. Lying.

Jenni’s only making yourself look like a fangirl idiot, championing Nicole’s cause, trying to get her “boyfriend” to come back, and getting upset at Mike for telling what has not yet been disputed as the absolute truth about Nicole hooking up with him since she’s been “with” her so-called “boyfriend”.

Frying Pan, Meet Fire

The last block shows Deena throwing it at Pauly again, unsuccessfully.

I have no idea when she’s going to get a clue. If a dude has nothing better to do, and you throw ***** at him and he kicks you out of bed, just get over it and forget about it.

Meanwhile, and more importantly, Nicole simultaneously climbs into bed with Vinny.

This is why a) she’s not to be believed when she says she didn’t blow Mike, and b) I always put quotes around “boyfriend”, because girls like this don’t actually HAVE boyfriends.

If you pay attention to the edit and to the clothes the cast are wearing, this is the basic timeline:

  1. “Boyfriend” arrives.
  2. Nicole screws him in the sex room.
  3. Nicole dresses up like a hoochie to go to the club with her “boyfriend”.
  4. Nicole “dances like a pig” and her “boyfriend” bounces.
  5. “Boyfriend” finally returns to the house and immediately gets his things and leaves, the same day he arrived. Jenni even said that he was only in town for 6 hours.
  6. Nicole wakes up the next day.
  7. Jenni orchestrates a meeting between Nicole and her “boyfriend” that day.
  8. “Boyfriend” still leaves town.
  9. Housemates go dancing.
  10. Next day, Nicole calls her “boyfriend” and gets told about herself.
  11. Nicole doesn’t break up with him, but says she’s not going to talk to him for a few days.
  12. The housemates decide to party in the house tonight.
  13. That same night, Nicole climbs in bed with Vinny and ***** him.

So… Without verbally breaking up with her “boyfriend”, Nicole elects to hop in bed with Vinny and screw him.. Which is no big deal, because she’s hopped in bed with Vinny on videotape and screwed him before, so it’s regular.

Therefore, it’s not far fetched that she blew Mike without breaking up with her “boyfriend” and she DEFINITELY messed with Deena on videotape without breaking up with her “boyfriend”.

This is why Mike keeps getting upset when people act like they don’t believe he hooked up with Nicole. It’s not a big deal that she blew him. It’s a big deal that she’s lying about it, and it’s a big deal that the girls are taking her side and backing her play just because she’s a female.

It’ll be interesting to see what they have to say in the next episode, being that Vinny, Pauly & Deena are all roommates, and Nicole hooked up with Vinny right before their eyes, including telling him, which was subtitled by MTV, “I want you to **** me” and then when Vinny asks her “Aren’t you with your boyfriend anymore?”, she wags her head “No”, so he goes ahead and hits it.

I’ll be REEEEEEALLY INTERESTED to see what the other girls have to say about this, the day after. Deena is now an eyewitness. She can’t say Nicole didn’t give it up. Vinny and Pauly are eyewitnesses. Her credibility is now *ZERO* that she didn’t hook up with Mike just like he said she did.

This is why I keep telling you people that titles are meaningless. It makes no difference that some chick will call you her boyfriend if she’s going to hop into bed with the next man 48 hours after *NOT* breaking up with you.

Also, the people that try to vilify the boyfriend for dumping the girlfriend for her freakazoid behavior aren’t helping her out, but rather hopping into the same hole she just dug for herself to live in.

Is there anything wrong with Nicole indiscriminately gettin’ her groove on?.. Nope. 🙂 More power to her! 😀 .. If she thinks a normal dude’s going to accept her behavior if he’s looking for a trustworthy woman to introduce to his family, marry and have kids with, she’s got another thing coming. Subscribe to Bill via Google+ | Facebook | Twitter | Email | RSS

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  1. You make fantastic points in this article but the main point I’ve said all along is this… It doesnt matter if she is a whore. It doesn’t matter if she is a pig. It doesn’t matter if she slept with Vinny right after her man left. It doesn’t matter that she danced like a slut. What matters is her boyfriend knows what she is like. He would have had to have his eyes shut for the past however many seasons to not know who she is. He made the choice to date her and he alone believes she will change just for him. I believe in relationships you do have to make some sacrifices and and come to a middle ground on some things. But I don’t believe for one minute that you have to change who you are for someone. If that means that you don’t find the right someone for a long time then so be it. For her to be clueless on why she has to be that way is him just choosing to be ignorant to the facts of who she is. I don’t believe the roomates are encouraging her by lying to her. I think they are making that same simple statement that she should not have to change herself for a man. I wholeheartedly agree with that. If he can’t deal with it then he made the right choice to leave. But he can not sit around and say she disrespected me when he knows what she does. Listen to all their phone conversations. Over and over when she mentions anything about wanting to blow him or bang him he freaks out like a little girl. What man wouldn’t be happy that one of the main thoughts in his girls head is his d*ck? He is a puss in boots man! I believe he hasn’t wanted to be with Nicole in a very long time but unfortunately for him he is stuck being with her on national tv and we can see that he really cares about how people think or feel about him so he’s trying his best not to be an ass. I do agree that she is stupid for not realizing how the dude really feels but sometimes you can’t get people out of their own way to see the truth. This dude is a wimp and he is dating a chick that is nowhere near a wimp. She is who she is and he knows that. She is not the type of chick that could even begin to change over night and we see that when she makes the decision to bang Vinny. On the Mike end of things I said before that she is wrong to pretend that nothing happened. You can see in plenty of previous conversations between them that she doesn’t deny it to him but tells all of the roomates it doesn’t happen. These people live like there aren’t cameras on and the truth will never come out. That’s why they still have a show because none of them are bright and we love it. Her man finally manned up and broke ties but you see that he still didn’t want to 100%. Would you if your girl was making thousands per episode to act stupid? Doubtful. We as men have to decide whether we want whores or housewives and her man is obviously undecided in-between. I see that as his problem not hers. If I was her friend I would definitely keep telling her to do her. Why make yourself someone you’re not for a relationship? All that’s gonna do is damage the relationship down the road becuase at some point you’re gonna realize you want to do you and then you have bigger problems. So for a chick that’s a crazy whore. Keep it up. At some point she’ll find a man that likes crazy whores and life will be good! That’ll probably mean her and Mike will finally get married and we’ll have our Saved By The Bell Jersey Shore Beach Movie!!

    1. ok.. I agree with everything you just said, Nigel.. 🙂

      Let me clarify what I’m saying…

      Either dude has been watching “Jersey Shore” or he hasn’t.

      If he’s been watching it, he knows she’s a whore.

      He *SHOULD* have been watching it, because he’s one of the dudes that Nicole brought home and hopped into bed with on camera last season. This means that he signed the releases to agree that MTV has the rights to show him laying up with her.

      If that’s the case, he already knew who she was when he hooked up with her.

      However, in that “Hookup Culture”, there’s a theoretical difference between some chick you screwed and your actual girlfriend. She’s supposed to suddenly change into a different person in order to deserve to be with you. She’s supposed to follow your rules.

      This is why he said “I don’t need a girl to raise her skirt in public” or whatever. He gave her the rules. She refused to follow them. He bounced. Very simple.

      Having said that… *IF* those had been his actual values, there wouldn’t have been any more conversation after the fact. There wouldn’t have been any more talking about them being “together”. In fact, at the end of the most recent episode, she tells dude that she hooked up with Vinny, and dude threatens Vinny and breaks up with her AGAIN… Next thing you know, he says he’s going to give her another chance, since she claimed that Vinny didn’t stick it, but instead just finger-popped her, which was another boldfaced lie about her myriad sexual interactions with dudes.

      So he loses points for not sticking to his word. If that’s the case, don’t bother to get mad at all. You just make yourself look worse by taking the right road and then veering back to the “She likes sex, she’s famous, and she makes a lot of money, so I’ll keep her” route.

      If we assume that he knows who she is and what she does every time she gets drunk, yes, it’s all his fault for expecting Nicole to be different from how she actually is.

      It’s also his fault for believing that her “relationship” to him is more important to her than getting drunk and flashing anybody that happens to be watching.

      Of course, I agree with you that a) she may as well be herself and whomever doesn’t like it can bounce, and b) if she tries to pretend that she’s not herself, it’s going to lead to problems for her, but that’s exactly what happened. She had been telling him on the phone that she was “being good”, and every night, she was doing whatever the **** she wanted with whomever would accept her.

      She wasn’t able to maintain the charade because she got drunk and floated away into her own personal mental universe.

      So, I’m not saying she should change TO be with a “normal” person. I’m saying that *IF* she wants to be considered normal by a “normal person”, she’s going to have to act differently, and if she refuses to do that, she needs to STFU when “normal people” dump her for her strange-ass behavior.

      As far as the roommates enabling her or not, it’s the same issue.

      They need to stop telling her she’s normal and there’s no reason why her “boyfriend” dumped her.

      Everybody knows why he bounced. Tell her the truth. “Act like THIS, and this is what you’ll get, until you meet someone that’s willing to accept the way you act.”

      As far as Mike, he’s GOT to be running game on her. How is Mike going to be running “I love you” to her while Vinny’s hittin’ it every chance he gets, behind her so-called “boyfriend”s back? 🙂 hehe It’s like stick to the basics.. Get in and get some more head from her or leave that girl alone! 😀

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