Tonight’s debate should be the final stage appearance for several of the fake Republican candidates that we’ve had to suffer through hearing about over the recent months.

Unfortunately, every time a Republican pundit is asked whether so-and-so is going to quit the race, they keep saying that it depends on when they run out of money.

Of course, this sucks. They can’t be booted for saying and doing stupid things, and they can’t be booted for not answering questions that are obviously going to sink them in the general election.

The only three candidates that should be moving forward after tonight are Romney, Perry and Cain, because they’re the only ones that have enough financial backing.

Like I said probably months ago now, if the Republicans send any of these so-called candidates other than Romney, they’re going to lose pitifully in the general election.

Perry can’t even out-debate Romney with cue cards in his hand that tell him what he’s supposed to say about Romney. Obama will be able to out-debate him practically in his sleep. Obama probably snores better than Perry speaks.

Sending Perry is a mistake.

Then again, Sending Palin was a mistake last cycle, but they did it anyway.

Cain is an accident waiting to happen.

First of all, he obviously knows nothing about nothing, other than business. I’m too bored to recount all the non-Presidential statements he’s made recently.

He was never a candidate in the first place. He’s selling books and he’s going to be a reality television star like Donald Trump.

Second, it’s too easy to line up a bunch of fake chicks to claim he felt them up and then his reputation goes down the drain.

Sending Cain against Obama is an automatic loss. It’s like a forfeit.

On top of that, the Cain team sucks so badly at dealing with adversity that they’d be literally eaten for breakfast as soon as the Democrats start campaigning against him.

In fact, they don’t even care about Cain or Perry. The Democrats are already campaigning against Romney, because they know he’s the only SLIGHT chance that the Republicans have of winning in 2012:

When Mitt Romney arrives in Michigan for the latest Republican debate on Wednesday, the Democrats will have a message waiting for him — “Hit the road, Mitt.”

On Tuesday, as Mr. Romney sparred with George Stephanopoulos over his opposition to the auto industry bailout in an interview for ABC News and Yahoo, the Democratic National Committee released a web video criticizing Mr. Romney’s stance on the issue.

“You wouldn’t know he was from around here,” says a narrator, before Mr. Romney’s own voice says: “Let Detroit go bankrupt.”

As images of a dilapidated downtown flash by, the narrator continues: “Now he’s coming back, asking for our votes. So what do you say to the man who would’ve put this city on cement blocks, kicking us when we were down? You say, ‘Hit the road, Mitt.’ ”

Too Late

The rest of them aren’t even worth mentioning, other than the fact that Ron Paul, who MOST DEFINITELY will not receive the Republican nomination, may very well run as a 3rd Party candidate and siphon his consistent 10% of the voters away from Romney, ensuring an already almost guaranteed Obama victory.

The time to turn the corner has come and gone.

It’s too late now.

It’s too late for Michele Bachmann to say what she’s going to do with 11.5 million illegal aliens.

It’s too late for her to explain to us *HOW* she’s going to wave a magic wand and create a situation where gas costs $2/gallon.

It’s too late for Rick Santorum to say anything that anybody cares about.

It’s too late for Newt Gingrich to not seem like some grumpy dude with a bunch of funny one-liners.

I don’t know why Jon Huntsman never got traction, but I would have liked to see a Huntsman vs. Obama contest.

There are another bunch of dudes on that you’ve never heard of and never will.

These so-called candidates wasted all their air-time mentioning Obama’s name and talking about how wack he is, and in the meantime, said nothing worthwhile about themselves that’s going to cause Independents or Democrats to vote for them, which is what they’re going to need to win the general election.

Now, they’re going to look like idiots on stage if they try to spin fantasies about what life’s going to be like if they are elected President of the United States of America.

They’re not going to do that, though, because they don’t dare. They’re going to keep spouting rhetoric and punchlines and they’re going to keep cheerleading instead of getting on the field and playing the game.

On top of that, Obama already snitched on the Republicans in Congress for their obstructionist tactics, so by the time the election rolls around, nobody without a job is going to vote Republican anyway.

One Chance

The reason why Romney has a chance is that nobody believes what he says.

I know that doesn’t seem to make sense, 😛 but that’s the only chance Republicans have in the general election.. To send someone who MIGHT enact a bunch of Democratic policies.. or, if you want to split it differently, to send someone who’s been posing as a Conservative to receive the nomination, but is liable to enact a bunch of Liberal policies. o_O

That’s their only hope.

Hopefully for the rest of us, we won’t have to hear any more about Presidential aspirations from the extra peanut-gallery filler people after tonight.

Romney’s rich. Perry has major financial backing. Cain has friends in high places also.

They should be the only ones left standing after tonight’s debate, but I’m afraid that we’ll have to suffer through hearing about the rest of them until they actually run out of money.

As far as the Cain sexual harassment allegations, it’s like I tell people every day…. not tell them about sexual harassment, but tell them about life in general… If there’s no media of it, it didn’t happen.


Unless someone videotaped Cain in a car feeling up some chick, it’s “He Said, She Said” and it’s a stalemate.

The real problem he’s going to have is what some dude was talking about 4 or 5 days ago, which is some antics Cain was involved in at some kind of social event. The dude said he wasn’t going to talk about what happened, but that everybody saw it.

This is why Cain is an accident waiting to happen. Sooner or later, the tabloids will pay someone off to spill the beans, and then it’s going to be a big problem for him.

Of course.. The Democrats are probably begging TMZ *NOT* to air anything about Cain, because sending Cain against Obama is like sending a boxer into a gunfight. Follow Bill via Google+ | Facebook | Twitter | Email Subscription | RSS Feed

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