I was chatting with reader “Eric” earlier today, and he reminded me that today is Side-Piece Day.

So.. Happy Side-Piece Day, Ladies! ๐Ÿ˜€ *waves*

Side-Piece Maintenance

A side-piece is a gal that may or may not think she’s your main girlfriend, but she most definitely is not.

For instance.. On “The Sopranos”, Tony’s wife was his wife, and his girlfriends were his side-pieces, get it? ๐Ÿ™‚

However.. Since some guys don’t like to make it clear to the SP that she is what she is, they often pretend that she’s their best girlfriend, their main girlfriend, or, in extreme cases, their *ONLY* girlfriend.

This works very well, except for special occasions that pop up during the year.

To keep it simple.. Let’s say you only have two girlfriends, right?…

It’s not likely that they were born on the same day.

This means that you can celebrate both of your girlfriends’ birthdays with them as if the other one doesn’t even exist. No loss of propers for you.

Even if they share a birthday, since you only have two of them, it’s easy to split them by celebrating one on the weekend BEFORE their birthday, and one on the weekend AFTER their birthday.

Of course, during those years where their co-birthday falls on a Saturday or something, you’re kinda screwed. \o/

The next day is Christmas. That one’s not tough to play off if we’re still assuming you’re only dating two gals simultaneously. You can see one for Christmas Eve, and you can see one for Christmas Day.

New Year’s Eve is a REALLY tough one.

So you’re getting the point that eventually, the rubber meets the road, and you have to decide which one of your girlfriends is going to get the ACTUAL holiday, and which one is going to have to settle for something NEAR the actual holiday, preferably the day before or the day after.

Side-Piece Day

The absolute *WORST* day for guys with multiple girlfriends is Valentine’s Day.

Your best bet is to skip work altogether, and schedule one for breakfast, one for lunch, one for dinner, and one for late drinks.

Of course, this assumes you have only four girlfriends and a lot of credit.

If you can’t do that, and you HAVE TO go out with only one gal on Valentine’s day, it’s going to be your best girlfriend. No doubt. Valentine’s day will set the tone for the next 365, so you have to make sure you make it the best for your best girl so she makes the rest of your year the best for you! ๐Ÿ˜€

This brings us to today.. Which is the day BEFORE Valentine’s day, or… Wait for it! ๐Ÿ˜€ ….. SIDE-PIECE DAY! ๐Ÿ˜€

If this is handled carefully and not overdone, you can keep getting away with taking women out on side-piece Day and they never get hip to the game.

What you have to do is alternate side-pieces every other holiday.

So, you spend Thanksgiving with Chick A, and the day before Thanksgiving with Chick B… Next, You spend Christmas Day with Chick B and Christmas Eve with Chick A… This way, when they tell their girlfriend that you took them out on side-piece day, and she tries to cockblock you, your girlfriend stands up for you, because you spent Thanksgiving with her and her family, and you took her out the day before Valentine’s Day, because you had an important deadline for this project you’re finishing at work that was going to take you all day to complete and present, so there was no point in her trying to call or text you on V-Day, because you were going to be fully absorbed in your work, and you’d get back to her as soon as you could, which was probably going to be the entirely next day, because you were going to have to go out with your coworkers for drinks afterwards to celebrate your successful presentation and after so much drinking (and working), you were going to want to go right to sleep after that, so don’t call us, we’ll call you.

Are You A Side-Piece? o_O

Now.. Just because your man took you out on side-piece Day doesn’t mean that you *ARE* the/a side-piece, or even that he’s dating anyone other than you. You may very well be the only one, and he very well might have to work on Thanksgiving, Christmas, 4th of July, Presidents’ Day, and every single 3-day weekend American workers get during the year.

It’s possible. ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m not going to go back over how you can tell whether you’re a side-piece or not, because that’s 4-year-old information => http://billcammack.com/2008/08/03/ladies-how-to-tell-he-has-a-girlfriend/. Go read it if you like.

If you determine that you *ARE* the SP, you have two options, bounce from the relationship, or step your game up so he chooses you over the rest of his girlfriends.

If you decide you’re going to stay, make a list of the positive features of being his side-piece, like how you only have to provide 1/2 to 1/4 of his sexual gratification.


If you have a date tonight.. The night *BEFORE* Valentine’s Day.. With “your” boyfriend.. And he already told you he’s going to be out of commission all day, tomorrow… HAPPY SIDE-PIECE DAY! ๐Ÿ˜€

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  1. LOL at New Yearโ€™s Eve & Valentine’s being so stressful for you lover boyz!!! BUT #DEAD @ the positive features of being a side piece is only having to provide 1/2 to 1/4 of his sexual gratification. (I spit my orange juice out on that one).

    Thanks for providing my daily entertainment Bill *MUAH*

  2. Bill,
    You ain’t lyin!!! Yesterday I was perusing a menu from this take out joint online and I saw where they changed their menu for FOUR days preceding Valentines Day from the 11th to the 14th and I thought how darn clever…dude is providing a ‘service’ for all the cats that have multiples…I give him points for innovation…LOL!

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