Women tend to overestimate their position on the totem pole relative to other aspects of men’s lives, such as their cars, friends and pets.

Think about it.. If a dude has had a dog for like 20 years and then a gal shows up and tries to regulate, talkin’ ’bout he has to get rid of the dog, she might find her bags packed and waiting for her at the door after he hits it one last time.

Speaking of which, if dude hasn’t hit it yet, she has no pull, whatsoever. He can get a new woman that he ISN’T having sex with, immediately. He can’t get a new beloved pet, so she might have to take a long walk on a short plank.


While we’re on the subject, the same thing goes for women that he knows.

It will never cease to amaze me that women watch these Lifetime cable channel movies and chick flicks and then believe that they can tell a grown-ass man whom he can and can’t spend time with. 😀

If he feels like appeasing you, he’ll tell you yeah yeah yeah and then keep doing what he always did before he met you.

It’s amazing that some women actually believe that now that they’re hooking up with a guy, that gives them some kind of authority to regulate his life. It’s even MORE AMAZING that their grown-ass-woman homegirls commiserate with them and tell them that they’re right for trying to control the dude and he’s wrong for not accepting her control.

You would swear that Little House On The Prarie was real. It was FICTION, ladies! 😀 hahaha A STORY! 😀

On top of that, LHotP was hypothetically located…. wait for it…. ON. THE. PRARIE! 😀 haha Not in some metropolitan area where you can just get another chick if one of them becomes more of a hassle than she’s worth.

If there’s something that’s bothering her, OF COURSE she should bring it up and debate it and put her foot down about things she doesn’t like and things she’s not going to stand for… However.. When she does that, she needs to be prepared in case he says “You’re right. That’s not fair. Bounce. I’ll date some other chick.”

See, that’s what happens with ultimatums. They don’t always go the way the person making the threat wants them to go. This is why it’s important to focus on reality, as opposed to movie-based and tupperware-party-supported fantasies about how relationships work.

Unless she knows she has something that he does NOT want to live without, an ultimatum merely forces a guy to make a choice.. A choice between two VALID options. Select “Her” or “Not-Her”.

If the choice is between a woman he’s been dating for 3 months and a woman he’s known and appreciated for 3 years, the girlfriend might find herself singing “Yo Ho Ho And A Bottle Of Rum” while she takes that long walk on that short plank.


On top of that.. If a woman can control her man, so can anybody else. o_O

There’s nothing in particular about her brand of control that supersedes anyone else’s version, so if she forbids him to go to the strip club, and he’s like “ok”, and then his boys say let’s go the strip club, he’ll say “ok”, then the stripper will ask him if he wants a lap dance in the champagne room, and he’ll say “ok”.

Xena: No Sex In The Champagne Room
YouTube Link =>

So either you’re controlling someone who’s easily controllable, or he’s faking you out by pretending to follow your orders and then living his life as usual.

This is why women are surprised when they find out “their man” is still screwing his ex. They think they’ve exerted some kind of control over him that requires him to tell the truth. They think that something they’ve done has made him disinterested in having sex with other women.. including their cousins, sisters and mothers.

It’s just not true.

In most cases, guys will ELECT not to pursue hookups with other women, because they respect the relationship they’re in, or they’re already doing everything sexual they want to do with their current girlfriend/wife/FWB/whatever, or they’re not the type of person to go back on their word, or “cheat”. That’s a CHOICE they’re making, though. It’s not some kind of natural state that they’re forced into by some gal they’re dating.

Some guys are naturally monogamous and want to be. If that’s the case, AGAIN, it has nothing to do with the woman. She didn’t MAKE him monogamous, she just happened to find and date a man that already was.

That’s why I always shake my head when women ask “How do I get him to _____”. You don’t have any actual control over him. Your best bet is to be the best woman you can towards him, let him know what YOU’RE interested in as far as the relationship, and hope that a) he gives a damn what you want, and b) he’s willing and able to do that for you.


We already went over this in “The Roster (Multiple Girlfriends)”, but basically, it’s easy for women to get ON the roster. It’s tougher for women to make it to THE TOP of the roster. It’s a major accomplishment to actually REMOVE OTHER WOMEN from the roster and achieve an exclusive relationship with a sought-after guy.

This is because there is a plateau of achievement. There’s no actual peak, until and unless the cream rises to the top and a dude is just blown away by his experiences with a gal.. or, as I said earlier, he’s naturally the type of person that only wants one girlfriend and is currently auditioning and hoping to settle soon.

Women, who like to believe what they watch in movies, and the stories they hear from their mothers and older women (who, of course, were TOLD, regardless of the reality of the situation, that they were in an exclusive relationship, or else dude would never have had the sex that produced this daughter in the first place), think the process goes from dating to exclusive girlfriend to fiancée to wife.

In fact, they’ve skipped a step.

It goes dating -> one of my girlfriends -> my only girlfriend -> fiancée -> wife.

This is what’s confusing to women, when they make it to the “one of my girlfriends” stage that they don’t believe exists.

They wonder why dude is treating them like a girlfriend, but he’s not trying to verbally declare them exclusive.

This is where women screw themselves, because instead of easing back and sharing him with the other women until dude makes up his mind (assuming he plans to EVAR make up his mind) and selects her of his own free will, they start wondering how they can MAKE HIM dump the other chicks, or his friends, or his pets, or his job, or his dreams….

So, right when women are in position to MAAAAAYBE make it to the next phase, they make a nuisance of themselves and get bounced off the roster.


The women you can have a good and enjoyable time with, stay.
The women that try to get you to trade them something in order for them to act the way they’re supposed to act in the first place, go.

Stay in the pocket. Make yourself useful. Be a cheerful person. Make sure you always look good. Be the type of woman that he wants to wake up to in the morning, and you “might could” get the Golden Ticket.

Once you try to overpower or outsmart a grown-ass man into restricting his personal options in the one life he’s going to have to live, so that you can feel better about yourself because you feel like you have control over someone, you’re starting yourself on that long walk, and the only question is how short the plank is.

If you try to come between a dude and his dog, you may just find out that regardless of what he told you while he was trying to get laid, the dog’s more important than you are.

Guys don’t have to lie to dogs. Dogs don’t understand English. We lie to women.

We lie to women to increase y’all’s functionality and usefulness.

One of those lies might be “You’re more important than my dog.”

Another lie might be “I only go to my ex’s house so I can see my dog.”

I guess the point is that women need to see themselves as supplements to the happiness in men’s lives, not replacements for our happiness.

You don’t get to suck everything good out of our lives so you can feel better about your own. Ain’t that type-a party.

If there’s something you don’t like about your relationship, talk about it.. discuss it, have a debate about it, make demands if you feel you’ve got it like that. If you don’t like what you hear, try again some other time, or bounce from the relationship. You most DEFINITELY shouldn’t remain in a relationship that you’re not enjoying, or where you feel you could do better for yourself.

What I’m saying is, don’t fall for your own okey-doke that dude will definitely forsake his beloved dog, cat, snake, owl, or lizard for you.

If you decide to make an argument out of it, while dogs don’t know English, they know the vocal tones that usually lead to “Welp.. I won’t be seeing THIS CHICK around here, anymore! 😀 haha Don’t let the door HIT’CHA where the Good Lord SPLIT’CHA! :D”

Then again, of course, you might be successful! 😀 hehe You might actually strongarm him into choosing you over his pet. Congratulations to you, and good luck with that! 😀

You may be back here relatively soon.. After Googling “Why You Got Dumped After Sex”. Follow Bill via YouTube | Google+ | Facebook | Twitter | Email Subscription | RSS Feed

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  1. I was already to tell you that the same is true of a man making demands of me. I do not give or respond to ultimatums.

    Then I saw this:
    dating -> one of my girlfriends -> my only girlfriend -> fiancée -> wife

    I felt like you wrote this for me. I did exactly what you’re saying here and things still went horribly awry. I will talk to you offline about this.

    1. Hey Kenya! 😀

      Yeah, this definitely applies to dudes too. Don’t get ahead of the game. If you start making demands of your chick, she might find it easier to dump you and enjoy her life than acquiesce.

      I decided it needed to be in the “For Women” category because women are more likely to commiserate about something like this.

      I don’t normally have to explain to guys what they did wrong. They know what they did, they just didn’t expect to get caught for it.

      Women are actually clueless, partially because they’re not conditioned to understand what the game is, and partially because the game REQUIRES that guys tell gals that they’re important, whether they really are or not.

      Y’all only find out when/if the rubber meets the road. If nothing ever happens to test the theory, guys can claim whatever they like and get away with it simultaneously with as many women as they can afford to spend time with.

    2. backing down and sharing lol you are a male.this seems to be ok, but yall change drastically when its yall turn to “back down and share” it works both ways. So don’t get upset when you find out you’re just one of the guys I’m dating.women have choices in the matter also. and if i’m not getting what i need then you’re right i should leave but a smart woman makes that choice and is not “dumped” but chooses to leave when she realizes the relationship is not what she needs it to be, and at that point there is no need for ultimatums, just quietly leave and let him wonder why you don’t answer his calls or accept his invitations.its not all about the man its about me and my happiness and why should i give you what you want and i can’t get what i want? i know EXACTLY!!!

      1. I never understood ultimatums, now that you mention it, Jredditt. 🙂

        People should be able to tell their side of the story, and then figure out the truth, or agree to disagree, keep dating, or not keep dating.

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