The Current Republican Problem

I started paying attention to American Presidential politics 6 months ago, which is 2 months longer than my second-longest relationship, but that’s neither here nor there… >:D

So far, everything’s gone exactly the way I said it would, except for a few things I didn’t know about when I started blogging about this stuff.

The only reason people were pumping Bachmann was because she was a protest vote against Romney.

As soon as Perry announced he was in the race, Bachmann was over, because they’re the same person, except he’s male and she’s female, which means he wins the votes.

Bachmann disappeared.

I wanted Jon Huntsman to be sent against President Obama, because that would have been an interesting contrast of ideas, AND Huntsman carries himself Presidentially, which makes sense, since he’s been an ambassador for the USA for ages, AND Huntsman was #1 in job creation when he was Governor of Utah, which is what the American people need right now.. Jobs.

Huntsman never gained traction and disappeared.

Buddy Roemer had a lot of good ideas, but never gained traction and is now running as an Independent.

They tried to pump Rick Perry up as Steve Austin, the 6 Milliion Dollar Man by posing him in commercials with American flags and soup-up music and narration, but as soon as he started speaking, it was clear he wasn’t ready for the national stage and needed to stay in Texas.

Perry bounced.

Cain was a joke from the beginning, but gained traction for being the only candidate to actually say what he planned to do.

While everyone else was just saying “boo, Obama”, Cain was pubbing his 999 plan, which Americans gravitated to, because SOMETHING is better than NOTHING, which is what the rest of the Republican candidates are offering.

Anyway.. Cain got sidetracked because he’s been paying some chick’s rent for 13 years behind his wife’s back, so either he’s a sucker or he was gettin’ some on the side this whole time.

In order to not have any MORE of his skeletons fall out of the closet, Cain bounced.

That left us with our final four:

Ron Paul isn’t a real candidate. He’s just hanging around collecting delegates so he’ll be able to request a speaking slot at the Republican National Convention and talk about liberty.

Newt Gingrich is a jerk, according to a bunch of people that have worked with him in the past.

Not that a jerk can’t get elected President, but there’s too much dirt on him and Romney’s team demolished him with videos that are still available on YouTube to this day.

In fact, Republicans are scared that if they run Gingrich, they’re going to lose seats in Congress as well as lose the general election, so they’re doing anything they can to prevent him from succeeding.

I had predicted Gingrich’s exit from the race way before now, but what I didn’t know was that a billionaire could (and did) singlehandedly back his play and give him millions of dollars to afford to keep running.

If I would have known at the beginning that a) nobody can be ejected from the race because it’s clear that they’re not going to win, or even for gross incompetence (in the case of Perry, Cain, and Bachmann), and b) all you need to run for President is money, so as long as you still have it, you don’t have to “suspend” your campaign, I would have said that Gingrich was going to stay in as long as he has money.

Rick Santorum is mostly known for getting kicked out of office by 18 points in 2006 =>

At this point, he’s known for being a religious fanatic that can’t stay on-message about jobs and the economy.

In fact.. Here’s what he had to say recently *ABOUT* jobs and the economy:

YouTube Link =>

He said “I don’t care what the unemployment rate’s gonna be. Doesn’t matter to me. My campaign doesn’t hinge on employment rates and growth rates.”

So the people sitting at home watching this are going “Why the **** should I vote for THIS guy, when he’s not focused on getting ME a job?”

Santorum is another one that should have been out of the race by now, except he has a billionaire Sugar Daddy pumping funds into his Super PAC.

That leaves Mitt Romney, whom I said from the beginning was the only real candidate this entire time.

There are two basic reasons I believed this.

The first one is that none of the rest of the candidates were viable. This is obvious to the most casual observer. It’s like sending an 8-year-old Little League pitcher to Major League Baseball and expecting him to strike out grown-ass men. These people were jokes from the beginning, and it’s embarrassing that they lasted so long.

The second one is that nothing that Romney says is believable, which is an asset, because he’s the only one that’s going to be able to turn around in the general election and say “hehe 😀 I didn’t actually mean any of that stuff I said during the Republican candidacy process. I was just saying that to get those yahoos to send me to the big dance.”

None of the rest of them can make it back to the center for the general election.

Santorum has entrenched himself as a zealot.

Gingrich has entrenched himself as a jerk.

Paul isn’t a factor.

Romney is the only one that has videotape of himself advocating for BOTH SIDES of a lot of important issues. Right now, he’s being attacked for that, but, in fact, it’s the only thing that gives him the slightest chance of defeating President Barack Obama in the upcoming election.

YouTube Link =>

YouTube Link =>

They’re making a big deal out of what’s supposedly a “gaffe” by Romney’s homeboy, but he’s telling the truth. Romney’s going to pivot away from the last several months of tomfoolery and present himself as a viable alternative to Barack Obama.

He’s going to do that by appealing to Independents and Moderates by telling them what they want to hear. Santorum, Gingrich, and Paul are too far gone to try that.

Another thing I didn’t realize until my fellow Facebook pundits, Sam & Rahsan pointed out to me, is that there’s a subset of Republicans called Conservatives.

I thought they were all on the same team, and that they had all agreed that what they wanted most out of life was to make Barack Obama a one-term President. That’s why I thought they were going to back Romney relatively quickly.

In fact, Conservatives know that Romney IS NOT a Conservative, and nominating him is a toss-up. There’s no telling if he’s going to do *ANYTHING* that Conservatives want done. That’s why they’ve been clamoring to elect ANYBODY but him.. I mean, besides religious issues.

So, the current Republican problem is that they can’t trust the only guy that could POSSIBLY defeat President Obama to do anything DIFFERENT than what Obama would do if he’s reelected to another 4-year term.

This is why some of them are backing Santorum, even though he was never viable in the first place, and digs his hole deeper every day, with his ridiculous, shoot-from-the-hip comments that he says in front of people that agree with him and then are publicized over the internet to millions of people that DON’T agree with him.

At this point, I feel like Jeb Bush, Chris Christie, Paul Ryan, Haley Barbour, Mitch Daniels refused to enter the Republican race because they knew that they would have been nominated.

If they would have been nominated and then *LOST* to Barack Obama after all this trash they’ve talked about him, they would have gone down in history as major losers.

By sending Romney, they win either way. If he wins, none of their names have been tarnished, and they can try to run for President in the future. If he loses, none of their names have been tarnished, and they can try to run for President in the future.

It will be interesting to see what happens… I think Ann Coulter called it from the giddyap:

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