Sour Wingmen

So I’m watching this “reality” show, and some guys that are friends and housemates decide they’re going to go to a bar and meet some chicks.

When they get there, one of them gets a rap to a gal that, apparently, one of the other housemates there liked.

I don’t know if there was any history between her and the other guy, because this was the first episode I was seeing of the show.

So, in the confessionals (the side-interviews they do with the cast members when nobody else is around them), the extra dude is talking all kinds of trash about the guy who the girl was talking to, although, when he was there at the bar, this guy only had nice things to say about his housemate.

Off the bat, I found this to be strange. You either like people or you don’t. You either want them to get laid or you don’t. You’re happy for them to have a chance, or you aren’t.

So the dude that’s about to get on tells the chick something like “Behave yourself while I’m in the bathroom.”

Of course women are jumping up and down right now, but the relevant point here is that he was indicating his lack of self-confidence… If you’re going to lose your rap to a chick as soon as she gets out of your site, you just suck to begin with.

That also means that since you suck, she’s not going to be following your orders anyway, so you should just say “I’ll be right back” and go where you were going.

So, as soon as dude is out of sight, the chick hustles over to the wingman, hops next to him on the couch, throws her arm around his and starts kickin’ it to him.

According to the dude, she was telling him that she didn’t like his friend.

They edited the show, so we don’t know whether he put in a good word for his boy or not.

Soon afterwards, the chick is nowhere to be seen, and the wingman approaches his friend and tells him “I’m not trying to cockblock you, but your girl was coming on to me.”

This causes laughter and a shrugging-off by the housemate, as if the wingman is joking or doesn’t have a grasp on reality.

This is another sign of insecurity. What would the value be of your wingman telling you that your girl stepped to him, other than getting you information that you *SHOULD* pay attention to, and perhaps.. amp up your game?

So the dude gets the chick to come back to the house, and they bring a couple of extra women along, in case the wingman wanted one, and maybe some other dude in the house.

Instead of kickin’ it with the extra chicks, the wingman is sitting down, sulking.. Probably because he wanted the girl his boy got.


Eventually, dude is about to finally get the girl upstairs… Unfortunately, the disgruntled, crabby, sour, bitter, salty wingman tells her something like “Go do what you’re gonna do” or “Go do what you came to do”, implying that he knew she was about to give it up, and immediately ruining the rap for his homeboy, due to the typical female “I’m not a slut” reaction.

Generally.. Women like to believe that you don’t think they ever have sex. All you need to do is imply that they’re about to give it up to trigger them into defiantly proving you wrong by *NOT* giving it up.

Unfortunately, this works even if you’re not the one that was about to get laid, so the grumpy, disgruntled wingman successfully torpedoed his boy’s action for the night.

The chick comes back and argues with him, causing the wing to remind his friend that he stepped to him in the club and told him that his girl had been hitting on him.

Of course, her response was “I wasn’t hitting on him, he was hitting on ME! :O”, which was an absolute lie, because it was all on videotape, how he was minding his own business, and she hopped on the couch and grabbed him, which she loudly denied as if her word were her bond.

This led to even more stupidity as the much-shorter and much-lighter-weight wingman got in the face of the dude whose lay he just ****** up, and ended up getting pushed into a wall. He then proceeded to almost physically cry about it and declare their friendship over… before sobering up the next day and squashing it with the dude who he successfully and deliberately cockblocked the night before.

This is what’s known as bitchassedness.

Here’s the deal.. Understand the game, or don’t play it.

If you’re going out with the fellaz to chase chicks, may the best man win. Period.

If you see a chick you like, make your move before your boy does. If she chooses him before you get your shot, you have to eat that.

Not only is it your job to STFU, but it’s your job to help him get on, INCLUDING not talking trash about him behind his back, and INCLUDING distracting the extra chicks so your boy can get some privacy with the girl you wish you had.

It’s all in the game.

Next time, if you’re the one that gets on, he’ll back your play like you backed his.

You don’t want him pulling stupid stunts while YOU’RE trying to get laid, so don’t screw up his game either. Make yourself useful and get your kicks from the SitRep in the morning. (Situation Report)

That’s not an easy lesson to learn, because it sucks the first time you don’t get the rap to a girl you wanted, and your boy gets her. It sucks the second time, and the third time, and the eighth time, and it NEVER. STOPS. SUCKING. so get over it, get used to it, and speed your game up so at least you can say you tried before she gave it up to the next man. Follow Bill via YouTube | Google+ | Facebook | Twitter | Email Subscription | RSS Feed

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