Here’s the deal. There are two things going on right now.. There’s:
a) What’s happening, and
b) How you feel about what’s happening.
If you’re not able to separate the two, you’re screwed, because your perception doesn’t necessarily match up with anyone else’s reality.
For instance.. Let’s say I tell you the grass is green, and you don’t like the fact that the grass is green… Your NOT LIKING the fact that the grass is green doesn’t change the color of the grass.
This is what I detest so much about a lot of conversations I have with people. They’re not able to separate how they feel from actual fact.
The only possible rebuttals to “The grass is green” are “No, The grass is red” or “There *IS* no grass”.
You either have facts that disprove what I’m saying, or you don’t.
Nobody cares what you think or feel about the facts.
If you feel like this is Mars, nobody cares, because this is Earth.
I hate being sidetracked into babysitting grown-ass people’s feelings when they feel hurt about something and it brings our previously intellectual discussion to a grinding halt.
If you’re a fan of a politician or a political party, and the fact of the matter is that your candidate will say *ANYTHING* he or she has to say in order to try to get elected, the rebuttal to “Your candidate has no moral core beliefs” is not “You’re hating, because you’re not a member of our political party”.
How you feel about your candidate doesn’t change the facts. Especially if they’re on videotape and youtube and can be accessed any day at any time.
Either say “You’re wrong because [provable facts]”, or give up the ghost that I’m right, so we can move on.
Don’t go haywire and start talking about irrelevant stuff that has nothing to do with how wack your candidate is.
I’d rather not talk to you at all than waste my time doing mechanic work on your malfunctioning brain.
If a woman says she’s not giving it up to someone she’s supposedly “dating”, and then I say “If he’s not getting it from you, he either doesn’t require it in his life, or he’s getting it from another chick”, it’s in her best interests to absorb that information and add it to her set of possibilities.
There’s a reason why Monica was under the desk, Capisce? >:D
If your boyfriend’s saying he wants to do XYZ and you’re like “Nah”, good for you… *AND* recognize that he’s not waiting for you to achieve some sort of epiphany and decide that you suddenly like doggy-style or whatever… He’s gonna “Get in where he fit in”.
How you feel about that doesn’t matter.
The facts don’t change because you don’t like them.
The grass is still green, and the sky is still blue, regardless of how you feel.
If you pursue a career in an industry, you have to be realistic about your chances, opportunities, and skills.
It’s easy to paint yourself into a corner, thinking that you’re better than you are at something, and then finding out down the line that you had inadequately assessed the situation.
On the other hand, it’s also easy to psych yourself out, thinking that you *CAN’T* do something that you actually could have done if you would have diligently applied yourself to learning your craft, networking, and making people aware of what you’re bringing to the table, and why they should hire you.
In both situations, how you feel doesn’t matter.
You can use how you feel to fuel you past what you ordinarily would have done, but how you feel won’t actually make you a better guitarist, singer, dancer, or accountant.
Also, if you get poor reviews for something you’re doing, strive to not let that take you out of the game, if your goal is to excel in that area of your life.
Learn to separate facts from your feelings about the facts, so you can make an educated decision about whether to continue on the same path or deviate.
The point is.. Even though how you feel matters to you, you’re a fool if you believe it matters to anyone else.
It’s POSSIBLE that it matters to them, but it isn’t DEFINITE.
Even if it matters to them or they care what you think or feel, that doesn’t mean that how either of you feels is going to override reality.
It doesn’t matter that you believe you can hit a 95 mph fastball.. if you can’t.