I had an interesting conversation the other day with one of my KEY mentors in the dating game. The conversation was about retirement.. Like, actually selecting one chick and not having any more of them.
I could have retired from the dating game back when I was in college.
I met the perfect girl, and I knew she was the perfect girl. :)
Cute, nice body, rich parents, unaffected by society, friendly, fun, courteous, witty, well-mannered, smart (can’t say which college she went to, in case any of our mutual friends read my blog, hehe).
I knew just from being around her that she was going to be a superstar, and she’s currently a superstar. :)
Unfortunately for me (and FORTUNATELY, for her! :D), I could tell that I wasn’t going to be able to participate in the brand of relationship she was expecting from her life, so I let her slide…
I’m glad I did. It was the right and honorable thing to do.
I didn’t want to do it at the time, and I had this massive argument with myself about how to handle the situation.
It was a gamble.. I was either going to go forward in life and evolve into the kind of person that felt like retiring, in which case, I would have felt stupid that I let this chick get away, or I was going to remain the same person and have a good-ass time with my life… Which is what happened! >:D
I actually was retired while I was dating my ex, several years ago.
I had everything I wanted, and at the end of a day, I always looked forward to spending the next day with her. :)
IMO, Retirement has to occur by nature, not by election.
Unfortunately, too many relationships are created by election, and then one or more of the participants attempt to sustain that relationship against their actual nature.
I was thinking about this because my mentor was saying he was thinking about retiring, and I was trying to understand why.
Without putting his business in the streets, his reasoning was goal-oriented.
For example, women become more functionally useful when you make them believe certain things, such as that you love them or you’re not having sex with any other chicks.
These are the basics, like “Dude 101″.. Like even if your chick goes +10 pounds, you don’t actually TELL HER THAT! :D .. Unless, of course, the weight is going to the wrong places, then you need to inform her of the violation and present her with the gymnasium gift certificate you bought her.
The problem with doing that… Not sending your girl to the gym, I’m talking about gassing her head up to make her think that you love her.. Is that eventually, you have to back out of that when you’re ready for her to hop back up off tha dilznick.
So, Generally, you don’t want to be involved with that “he loves me, he loves me not” game from the giddyap.
What this does for you is it weeds out the chicks that are looking for all this extraneous stuff from you and only leaves the ones that are interested in what you’re offering, which is the best-case scenario.
This presents a slight problem for the potential retiree, if he dates women that actually know each other (hint: bad idea).
The problem is that when you finally flip the script and you’re acting retire’ish around your current girlfriend, the rest of the ladies that know you are buzzing in her ear, going “umm… Do you know WHO you’re dating? :O”
Interestingly, I’ve never really thought about this before, because I follow my nature.
When I’m interested in a chick, I’m interested in her, and when I’m not, I’m not.
Keeps things nice, simple, and easily manageable.
I already had my retirement discussion with myself back in college, and decided I’m probably not the type of person to do that.. evAr.
Then again, I don’t naturally have any goals with women that extend past recreation, which is why I don’t have any kids.
[Video] “Safe Sex Tutorial” -> youtu.be/c10iJBI3Qzk
So the reasons you might want to retire from the game is if a) your goals change, and you need to utilize different tactics to attract a different type of woman, or b) you’re just not that attractive anymore, and your dating pool is dwindling anyway, so you may as well cash out before it’s too late and you get stuck with a chick that you *REALLY* don’t want.
Right about now, you’re saying “What about (c), that you don’t have any chicks at all?”.. That isn’t actually possible… There are too many desperate women that have fallen for the okey-doke that they’re worthless if they aren’t involved in a relationship for a guy to end up with ZERO women. :) It’s just entirely statistically improbable.
On top of that, the older a guy gets, the more women are available to him, because he dates from “locally legal” up to “she still has a hawt body”.
Women, on the other hand, like to date guys older than they are and more accomplished in life than they are, so as they age, their dating pool shrinks… quickly.
So the longer a guy stays in the game, his chances to cash out with *SOME* chick are constantly increasing, though the odds that she’ll be some incredible woman that he actually FELT LIKE retiring with constantly diminish.
Habituation is the decrease of a response to a repeated eliciting stimulus that is not due to sensory adaption or motor fatigue.
What that means, in English, though it doesn’t solely pertain to dating, is that you get used to certain things, and then you’re no longer impressed by them.
Women egregiously fail to take this into account.
Grown-Ass Women believe they’re going to achieve leverage in their relationships by carrying themselves like high school kids.
Meanwhile.. Guess what? o_O .. The dude got used to high school chicks when he was in high school.
So.. If you’re all squeamish about getting under the desk with a cigar, trust and believe that some other chick is ready, willing, and able to do what “your man” wants.
I mean, seriously.. :) haha Listen to Chris Rock.. People become “accustomed” to certain things… What makes you think that some dude that has been through relationships, perhaps a marriage or two, and maybe popped out a few kids is going to feel like waiting until his fourth date with you to hit it? :D
What does this have to do with retirement?…
Part of the problem for guys with successful dating careers is that it becomes increasingly tougher to naturally want to be with just one woman when you experience so many women who are extraordinary in their own unique ways.
You’ve met women that are smarter, prettier, more mentally compatible with you, sexier, more accomplished in business, more caring and loving, more insightful, tighter, better to talk to or read books with…
It really becomes difficult to believe that you’re gonna meet a gal that knocks all these other women outta the box.
That’s why I think nature is the way to go.. If you *NATURALLY* feel like retiring, do it.
If you have a goal-oriented reason for retiring, consider whether you can sustain that position or whether you’re going to WANT TO sustain that position, even if you’re physically and mentally able to.
Unfortunately, I have to bring up Chris Rock twice in the same post, in order to mention his statement “A man is basically as faithful as his options”.
That doesn’t stand for guys that are looking to retire right off the bat.. Guys that are sifting through the haystack to find that needle chick he wants to hook up with and stay with, ad infinitum.
Unfortunately for women, those guys go off the market rather quickly, with the high percentage of women that are looking to sell out right off the bat.
That leaves women’s dating pool populated by guys that have no intention of “settling down”, and guys that DID settle down and then broke up with their girls or their girls broke up with them or they got a divorce or whatever.
It’s very tough, when you meet women all the time, to feel like “I’m not going to meet someone that inspires me to hook up with her after I pledge fidelity to this one chick here”.
This is why I’ve never thought about retirement, really… I mean, I’ve thought about it enough to attempt to project into the future and speculate about whether I would be able to sustain a long-term relationship with only one woman, but it never actually occurs to me until it happens.
What happens is that I *realize* that I *have* retired, and then I roll with that until I feel differently.
I don’t DECIDE that I’m going to retire with a chick and then attempt to live into the future I’ve mentally crafted for myself.
It’s all about probabilities.. percentages.. odds…
Is it actually probable that you’ll rock with this one chick exclusively for more than a year? o_O
If not, what’s the point of calling her your girlfriend? :D haha How about y’all do what you do when you do it, and you enjoy each other’s company while y’all are still alive?
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