Sometimes, people that you like screw something up in business or relationships.
When that happens, you really want to take them to the side and let them know what they did wrong so they can fix it and look like they came to the right conclusion on their own.
If they refuse to listen to you and fix it, or even worse, if they refuse to admit they made the mistake in the first place, you have two choices.. You either co-sign their mistake, or you make it clear to the rest of the people aware of the situation that you know it’s a mistake.
To go along with someone else’s lie. To corroborate a lie. To cover for.
Without even giving me a heads-up, he told his mom that he had been at my house all night. I cosigned for him because we’s close.
Co-Signing occurs in one of two ways.. Actively or Passively.
We saw a lot of Passive Co-Signing in the Republican race for the 2012 Presidential nomination. One of them would say something that was a blatant LIE, which was immediately proven to be a lie by people stating FACTS, and the rest of the Republicans would stand there and not correct the liar.
Other than Newt Gingrich, of course:
“Gingrich Calls Romney A Liar” => youtu.be/rB9Aa6qVauE
Norah O’Donnell: “You scolded Mitt Romney, his friends, who are running this SuperPAC that has funded that, and you said of Mitt Romney ‘Somebody who will lie to you to get to be President will lie to you when they are President’. I have to ask you… Are you calling Mitt Romney a liar?”
Newt Gingrich: “Yes.”
O’Donnell: “You’re calling Mitt Romney a liar?”
Gingrich: “Well.. You seem shocked by it.. Yes… I mean, what else could you say?”
O’Donnell: “Why are you calling him a liar?”
Gingrich: “Because this is a man whose staff created the PAC, his millionaire friends fund the PAC, he pretends he has nothing to do with the PAC.. It’s bologna.. He’s not telling the American people the truth.
It’s like his pretense that he’s a Conservative. Here’s a Massachusetts Moderate, who has tax-paid abortions in RomneyCare, puts Planned Parenthood in RomneyCare, raises hundreds of millions of dollars of taxes on businesses, appoints liberal judges to appease Democrats, and wants the rest of us to believe somehow he’s magically a Conservative.
I just think he ought to be honest with the American people, and try to win as the real Mitt Romney, not try to invent a poll-driven, consultant-guided version that goes around with talking points.
And I think he ought to be candid. I don’t think he’s being candid, and that’ll be a major issue… From here on out, for the rest of this campaign, the country gets to decide.. Do you really want a Massachusetts Moderate who won’t level with you to run against Barack Obama, who frankly will just tear him apart.
I mean he just won’t survive against the Obama machine.”
Now, I didn’t plan to get into politics this morning, but this is a perfect example of what I’m saying.
I have to give Gingrich his propers for not co-signing Romney’s tactics.
Everybody can see what Romney is doing. It’s on videotape. It’s on youtube. It’s all over the net.
The only way for Republicans to maintain integrity in this situation is to say what Gingrich said, which is basically that even though Romney will say and do *ANYTHING* to be elected President, and then WHO KNOWS what he’s going to do if he actually wins, it would be better to take their chances with Romney than to re-elect President Obama for another 4 year term.
If you speak up in support of demonstrably false statements, you are Actively Co-Signing.
If you stay shut when you know the statements are false, you are Passively Co-Signing.
Back in the day, I was kickin’ it with my friend Tyme about co-signing.
I have a lot of social media friends on Facebook and Twitter and everywhere else, and they’re always doing SOMETHING, so I used to share a lot of links, just because I knew the people and wanted to support their efforts.
So, one day, I posted some garbage a friend of mine did, and Tyme asked me if I really liked the video. I was like “Nah. It wasn’t any good”, to which she asked “Why did you post it on your page, then?”
So that turned into a vigorous discussion about how to use social media, which resulted in my “losing” and changing my mind about how I share content.
The problem with my previous style was that I wasn’t considering myself a curator.
I wasn’t considering that people are looking to me for my personal style, taste, and recommendations about what’s worth spending their time reading, listening to, or watching.
I wasn’t considering that by linking to garbage content, I was diminishing my own credibility as an authority in my chosen fields.
I wasn’t considering that by promoting that link to other people, I was Passively Co-Signing their product.
I felt like I was giving people a choice to like something or not, which I was, but I wasn’t considering the residual effect on my personal brand.
So I amended my style, and I promote things that I wouldn’t mind co-signing, and I don’t promote things that I refuse to be associated with.
So.. Sometimes, somebody does something that you *know* is a mistake.
If you have the opportunity to speak the them in private, that’s the best move.
Let them know they ****** up, and give them suggestions about how they can fix their error.. IF they can fix it, and if they can’t, give them suggestions about how they can apologize for the screw-up and inform the public that they’re aware of the issue and it won’t happen again.
If they refuse to take your advice, or even refuse to admit that their obvious mistake was a mistake…
Actually.. There’s another issue.
Sometimes, people are so wrong that they think their mistakes are right. 😀
They’ve already thought things out in their heads and they believe that *YOU* don’t know what you’re talking about.
That’s one reason they might not take your advice. They don’t believe they made a mistake, because their initial premise was ****** up.
They think you’re not understanding what they did, when they’re actually the ones that don’t understand what they did.
When that happens, you have the aforementioned three choices:
a) Back their play and Actively Co-Sign their mistake
b) Don’t say anything at all, and Passively Co-Sign their mistake
c) Make it clear to the rest of the people that are aware of the mistake that YOU are aware of the mistake also.
If you select (a), you look like an idiot when everybody else says “Hey!.. That’s a mistake! :/” when you just finished saying that it wasn’t, when you knew it was.
If you select (b), you only look oblivious, not complicit. You’re not aiding and abetting the mistake-maker by driving the slow-speed-chase getaway truck. You’re just acting like you didn’t see the truck when everybody knows it drove right by your face.
If you select (c), the mistake-maker will be sad 🙁
Sucks to be them, because when the error becomes obvious, and “[Person’s Name] ****** up!” rings out throughout the kingdom, “Bill told us so! :D” will also ring out, instead of “Bill tried to help [Person’s Name] cover it up!!! :/”
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