So.. A friend of mine got busted cheating on his long-term girlfriend.

I mean, busted *BADLY* πŸ™‚ haha Like to the point that I *DEFINITELY* laughed for three minutes straight before I was able to pick the phone back up and continue laughing at him, and it MAY have actually been FIVE MINUTES before I got back on the line. πŸ˜€

Now.. This wasn’t my FAVORITE “Dude got busted cheating on his girl” story, because I’ve heard some GREAT ones! πŸ˜€ but what was so funny about it was that I knew that he was totally, totally, totally, totally, totally COMMITTED to his girlfriend, and now he had blown his own spot about his extracurricular activities with females.

Let me attempt to explain why this is funny instead of sad.


Movies and literature brainwash you to believe that commitment and fidelity are the same thing. They are not.

There are lots of guys who are only screwing one chick, and are willing to dump her at the drop of a hat for a new chick.

No questions asked. No fanfare. No discussion. Dumped. Gone. Finished. Kaput. Over Like A Fat Rat.

“Over Like A Fat Rat” ->

Meanwhile.. There are lots of dudes that have girlfriends and hook up with other chicks on the regular, and have no intention whatsoever of *EVER* leaving their girlfriend.


As in “I intend to be dead before I’m not with you anymore” committed.

The movies tell you that the first situation is better for women. It isn’t.

If a dude’s willing to dump you because he had sex with some other chick, you didn’t have much of a relationship to begin with, did you? o_O

I mean seriously.. Think about it.. How can recreation trump what you believe is a “real relationship”?.. It can’t.

Think about when dudes are fans of football teams… Personally, I’m not a single-team fan. I’m a fan of systems that work. I’m a fan of a QB and WR that produce great plays and make other teams look stupid. I’m a fan of RB’s that nobody can tackle in the open. I love watching great players play, and if a number of them are on the same team, I become a fan of that team, by default.

Most guys are team fans, and mostly their local teams, except for teams like the Steelers and Cowboys, which are like universally-jocked organizations… They root for their team REGARDLESS of whether they’re winning or losing. They’re in it for the long haul. Those are REAL FANS.

Similarly, there are a lot of guys who are REAL FANS of their girlfriends or fiancΓ©es or wives.

Regardless of what they do with other women, those guys remain COMMITTED to their girlfriends.. Mentally… Emotionally… As real as real gets.

Still.. This is a hard sell to the brainwashed masses who watch television shows where some chick finds out her man stuck it in some other gal, then she throws a tantrum and leaves him and they play “Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves” and she slaps five with her commiserating homegirls who never had a man to begin with and are glad she doesn’t have one anymore either…

“Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves” ->

The part they don’t show you in the movie after the credits roll is that when the dust settles, she’s reinserted herself into the dating game, where NO MAN is committed to her (although they ALL claim to be so they can get laid), and she’s starting all over from scratch.

They don’t show you the part where she wonders why in the **** she dumped a great guy because he enjoys having sex with other women, which she never even knew about until he got busted, which means that his extracurricular activities weren’t stopping him from showing her the good times she wanted to have and providing her with the life she wanted to live.

So, the FUNNY part that I LMAO (laughed my ass off) about is that my friend spilled the beans on himself, and was now going to have to explain to his girlfriend what I already knew about him but she didn’t, which was that he’s totally committed to her, but he ***** other women. πŸ˜€

It was also funny because I knew he was going to succeed.

I wouldn’t have laughed so long if I thought it was going to end his relationship, because I knew he was REALLY committed to her.

I knew he was going to get over. It was just really funny that now, he was going to have to explain reality to someone that didn’t previously understand reality, like Neo in “The Matrix”.

“Neo vs. Morpheus” ->

Free Agents

This isn’t a problem for Free Agents.

We do what we do when we do it.

Our commitments are personal feelings, not agreed-upon decisions.

We can be committed to several women simultaneously, because none of them are committed to us.

(aren’t you sorry you read this now? πŸ˜€ hehehe)

In fact, this is one way in which you can spot amateurs.

Amateurs ask women “Do you have a boyfriend? o_O”

Free Agents don’t ask, because NOBODY. CARES. IF. YOU. HAVE. A. BOYFRIEND.

Who cares? \o/ .. The chick is hawt or she isn’t. You want to hit it or you don’t. Whatever else she does in her life has no bearing on the situation between us right now. Nobody cares.

If she replies “Yes”, amateurs follow up with “Are you in love with him? o_O”

[insert slapping-forehead smiley] :/


State your case and then get it or don’t.

Meanwhile.. Whatever chicks you mess with today has no bearing on your personal, deep feelings for and about the women that are important to you in your life… While you’re getting yours, they’re getting theirs, and y’all will see each other when you see each other.

You don’t have to penalize women (hehe You see what I did there? :D) for hooking up with random dudes or their boyfriends or whatever.. What difference does it make?.. None.

Is she still the same person you liked and cared about the day before?.. Yes, she is.

Do you feel less friendly towards her because she’s physically attracted to some other dude?.. No.

Did some chick you just hooked up with yesterday gain precedence over your long-term girlfriend on The Roster?.. Nope.

Do you love her any less because you spent enjoyable time with some other woman?.. Nope.

So, that whole “Do you have a boyfriend” junk is nonsense. Nobody cares. The dudes that pretend to care are just bad at what they do (Even though pretending to care what she thinks and/or feels is definitely a viable tactic for pulling chicks, but that’s neither here nor there).

So.. As a Free Agent, I can tell when guys are *NOT* Free Agents.

I can tell when dudes are mentally and emotionally committed to their girlfriends, even though they might be quick to tap the next chick if she’s lookin’ proppah and she’s throwin’ it at him.

It’s only recreation, ladies. πŸ™‚ Stop destroying your relationships over meaningless sex.

If you busted him cheating on you, it’s kind of like catching the bus… When you get to the street, you’re never catching the first bus.. It’s just the first bus YOU SAW.

If your relationship up until that point has been stellar, it’s been stellar WHILE he’s been ******* other women.

Of course.. There’s the trust issue.. If he swore up and down he wasn’t hooking up with other chicks and then you catch him doing what he said he wasn’t doing, he takes a hit in his word’s credibility, which may or may not be a relationship deal-breaker for you.

I’m saying that physically, it isn’t like this dude SUDDENLY decided to kick it with other chicks and you caught him the first time he did it.

What you have to decide is whether you’d like to be with a guy that is committed to you as a person/friend/girlfriend/fiancΓ©e/wife/whatever, and happens to enjoy screwing other chicks, or whether you really, really, REALLY, honestly don’t want to be in a relationship at all that doesn’t include sexual fidelity.

We Free Agents eagerly await your decision. >:D

Not because we care what you think or feel, but because it makes you easier to bag, immediately after you eject from your otherwise perfectly good relationship. Follow Bill via YouTube | Facebook | Twitter | Google+ | Email Subscription | RSS Feed

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  1. This is partly/mostly an American ideal, that you can have commitment AND monogamy AND be best friends AND all of this lasts until death do us part. Which is just unrealistic for most human beings. When the insistence on fidelity is coming from the man’s side, it probably deep down has a lot to do with the idea that a man owns “his” woman and no one else is allowed to touch his “property”. When it’s coming from the woman, it’s probably fear of abandonment and financial loss in a situation of economic disparity. True equality for women could solve a lot of this.

    1. Hey Deirdre! πŸ™‚ Thanks for the comment. πŸ˜€

      I agree with you across the board.

      I’ll also add that a lot of the time that the male insists on fidelity, it’s because he knows what he does on the sneaks when SHE’S not around, so he projects his own clandestine behaviors onto her… o_O

      Or, even worse, the typical “Everybody Cheats” concept which makes some guys feel like they’re absolved of guilt/responsibility if they go back on their word to be “faithful” to their woman.

      In all cases, the best we can expect from someone else is the amount that they TRULY want to give us.

  2. The Kid keepin it real as per usual.

    I love the whole ” do you have a boyfriend?” bit. I’m only interested in one binary, “you down or no?”

    1. haha Thanks, Mike! πŸ˜€

      That’s what I’m saying.. “Is you Is, or Is you Ain’t…” hahaha πŸ˜€

      When was the last time your boy said to you “Check her out over there!! o_O oh man… She looks SINGLE!!! >:D”

      … Never, that’s when. Nobody cares.

      And then what’s worse is that dudes act like they have different tactics based on whether she has a boyfriend or not… If your tactics aren’t going to be different, why are you asking? Just throw your hat in the ring and see what you can do.

      In fact.. If she *DOESN’T* have a boyfriend, that’s worse FOR YOU, because you have to compete with everybody else that’s throwing bass at her. πŸ™‚ It isn’t like she’s automatically easy pickin’s because she happened to have nothing to do and no suitors until *YOU* deemed her worthy to try to hook up with. πŸ™‚

  3. There are relationships that are monogamous and happy. We are in a society that wants instant gratification and is self-centered. If you can get past this and learn unconditional love you can be happy with one person. And the idea that it’s ok that guys can stick their dicks in other women and then jump back into your pussy…and this is supposed to be ‘acceptable’? A lot of guys don’t use condoms. I don’t want some chicks possible crude in me. Would you want me sucking another guys dick and then coming home to you and kissing you on the lips with those same lips that were sucking away on John John’s Johnson?

    1. Hey, Melanie. πŸ™‚

      I agree that there are LOTS of relationships that are monogamous and happy.

      However, for you to mention “unconditional love”, that means that you would be able to love someone UNCONDITIONALLY, which means that you love them regardless of how many people they’re having sex with.

      What you’re talking about is CONDITIONAL love, which isn’t love at all. It’s bartering.

      “You can have sex with me if you promise not to have sex with anybody else” is a tradeoff. A business agreement.

      I’m not saying that infidelity should be acceptable. That’s up for each individual to decide on their own.

      What I’m saying with the article is that there are lots of dudes that are monogamous with their girlfriends/wives and simultaneously treat them like garbage.

      There are other dudes who are not monogamous with chicks, yet are the most loyal, down-for-her dudes she’s going to ever meet in her lifetime, and only time will bear that out.

      There are a lot of women who THINK they’re in monogamous relationships, but they aren’t.

      The point is that there needs to be proper and authentic communication in the relationship, if anybody’s supposed to be believed when they say “I’m only having sex with you”.

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