One thing I find funny (read: pathetic) about dating is how some grown-ass women retain their childhood brainwashing so well that they can be over a quarter-century old and still give themselves credit because they *DIDN’T* have sex with somebody.

Sure, we all know the societal benefits of saturating girls and young women with “Good girls don’t” and “You’re a ho if you spread your legs” blah blah blah, but once y’all become adults, you need to assess life from the present and future, not the past.

The current dating system, even today, in 2012, is based on the old dating system, which was actually property management.

A chick belonged to her father until she belonged to her husband, property-wise, which is why the female’s last name changes and the male’s does not.

He was assuming responsibility for the sustenance of her life, removing the responsibility from her father, being that men were the only ones allowed to work, vote, own property, etc.

All women had to do in life was look good, learn how to dress themselves, walk gracefully, cook, clean, host dinner parties for their future husband’s business colleagues, sex their man properly, and bear & raise children.

That was the entirety of her job description.

In exchange for all these life-benefits (cooking, cleaning, a HAWT chick available for sex 24/7, arm candy, genetically attractive kids, free daycare…) the guy’s job was to financially support / maintain / create HER life.

** Side Note ** Tyson Beckford just got talked about for a minute for revealing that he created his girlfriend:

“When I found her she was a regular girl.

I helped place her with the right people, get her teeth cleaned, her body toned up.

Everything changed and now everyone wants a piece of her.

I hear people say, ‘You can do better than Tyson.’

I’m like, ‘Really? Really?! I created her!’”

~ Tyson Beckford

But that’s an issue for a different day… >;D

Throwback Dating

So the point is that in the old-school version of dating, the chick had to prove that she was attractive enough for him to want to hook up with her in the first place, and competent enough to raise his… er.. their kids to be fine young women and men.

If the chick wasn’t hawt enough, she didn’t get the date, or the dance, or the conversation at the party, or anything, really.

If the dude wasn’t proving he could financially support the chick in the manner she expected / desired, as well as provide her with the primitive basics of a stable household and protection for her and her offspring, *HE* didn’t get any chicks, being that he basically couldn’t afford to buy her offa her father.

Therefore.. Besides attempting to avoid young women ending up on episodes of MTV’s Teen Mom, it’s a good idea for Republicans to go on national television and tell women they should hold aspirin between their knees in order to not get pregnant, because..

YouTube Link =>

.. if the chick gets pregnant, no guy, other than potentially the babyfava is going to purchase her from her father.

That amounts to Theft Of Service.. Basically.. “You break it? You bought it.”

So the ability for a woman who was currently eligible for marriage to NOT have sex with a dude (actually, to not GET PREGNANT by him) was heralded and got her credit, cookies, and a pat on her back for retaining her resale value.

Besides that.. There’s the issue of maternity / paternity.

You always know who the mother is. Without DNA, you can only GUESS who the father is. o_O

Therefore, shaming women into either not recognizing, not accepting, or not following their own natural sexual desires is beneficial to guys who want to be sure that they’re raising kids that are genetically theirs.

Instead of doing what they’re SUPPOSED TO DO in the bedroom, guys would rather make women feel guilty for wanting to have sex with the next man.

Stay Fly and keep her mentally, emotionally, and sexually entertained, and she “might could” only have sex with you because SHE FEELS LIKE IT, not because she feels like she needs to get drunk and pretend that she didn’t know what she was doing when she hooked up with that dude she met at the bar, so she can try to live with the guilt that’s been placed on her about wanting what she wants and acting on her natural, instinctive impulses.

So those are the reasons why females are brainwashed that women that enjoy sex are evildoers.

Unfortunately, even though the system has changed, the programming has not.

Stimulus & Response

Grown-Ass Women, and I’m talking some Non-Spring-Chickens are running around acting like someone’s going to give them a cookie for not having sex with a guy they want to have sex with.

Who is that, actually? o_O … Who’s going to reward you for deliberately living a life that you enjoy less?

Is it your misery-loves-company homegirls who don’t have a man to begin with?

Is it your kids?… Do you normally come home and give them a SitRep (situation report) about how it went down at the bar last night? 😀

“Listen, Katie… This guy tried to make out with me at the bar, but your mom stuck to her guns and let him kiss her on the cheek, instead!!! 😀 .. Let this be a lesson to you, blah blah blah”

Is it your moms?… After you had been married for 5-10 years and your husband hit it six ways ’til Sunday and knocked it every which way but loose.. After your divorce, did you convince her that you became a virgin again and you intend to never hook up again until some dude walks you down the aisle again and “makes you an honest woman”? 😀

I’m not talking about when you DON’T like the dude. I’m talking about when you DO.

I’m aware that you’re trying to avoid being dumped after sex. I get that. That’s a legitimate concern, being that the only reason he’s talking to you is for sex to begin with.

I also get that you’re trying to live into “Who’s going to buy the cow when the milk is free?”

The problem with that theory is you can’t stop *ME* from getting laid. You can only stop *YOURSELF*.

Unless you’re Laura Ingalls, and we live in the sticks and I don’t have a horse and carriage to take me to the city, you’re not the only game in town.

The point being that nobody has to buy the cow, whether you give up the milk or not.

The other point being that if you WANT TO give up the milk, you need to mentally examine your reasons for NOT doing what you want to do, in this one life that you’re going to have.

Also.. Everybody knows that you’re frontin’. (attempting to feign sexual disinterest)

There’s an obvious difference between a chick that doesn’t want to hook up with you and a chick that doesn’t want to hook up with you before receiving something from you in exchange.

In fact, this is 2012 AD… That bartering system is over.

That “Old Maid” system is over.

Women have their own jobs, their own money, their own apartments, their own clothes, go on THEIR OWN VACATIONS to Europe, get pregnant while ballin’ kray-zay in business..

Women are doing whatever they want in life now, and you’re smiling and proud that you *DIDN’T* do what YOU WANTED TO DO?? 😀

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  1. Oh Man! I don’t know how many scales are going to fall from the eyes from this LESSON, Mr. Cammack. But I am waiting for the Evolution to be televised.

    1. Yes.. Let it be televised, Edie!! 😀 hehe

      Let me stand in the courtyard like Furious Styles / Laurence Fishburne, yelling


  2. Who are these women denying themselves? Most of my friends indulge shamelessly! LOL..I think the only times I didn’t have sex with someone I really liked is because the location or timing was bad. This felt like a weakness to me but now that I’ve entered a celibate phase I want to be weak again.

    1. lolol Avis! 🙂

      That’s good for you, that you’ve been living the life YOU want to live, instead of making sure you adhere to the guidelines someone else set up for you. 🙂

  3. I’m having great fun reading these articles, Bill, found via Google. I appreciate your frank males’ perspective. That said, I didn’t have sex for a year because I was getting a string of bad boys who talked a good game, and I blame myself for letting myself be picked up by certain types: musicians, specifically. I’m aware that band guys do want girlfriends, despite having a constant stream of choices, but they want girlfriends that trust unconditionally and leap right into blind commitment with no hesitation, and who are also less attractive than they are- that was never me, so I “lost” those games. I’m also aware that “band guy” is just like any guy that enjoys the sexual privilege of status, looks, money or talent and not in a band. But I digress. I needed to start doing the picking, or at least meeting men through work or friends and not at bars and shows, and to think about who I was when I wasn’t caught up in a manchild’s lies and drama and consider my patterns and vulnerabilities. Sex is a weakness to me. I’m enormously sensual and take pride in my bedroom skills. And though I never go looking for “true love” or “more than sex,” I fall for lines about love that come with orgasms in a way an adult woman shouldn’t, and I fall hard, and don’t recover easily, and don’t walk when I should (ie. I continue giving it up and hoping for more.) I still don’t think I’m ready for sex. I found myself in a 6 month crush and was able to continue to hold out, but it still messed with my mind as if I had had sex with him, anyway, because not having sex, thinking about it, thinking about doing it with this person I liked, started to obsess me the more we flirted and the more the tension built. One blowjob later, and a lot more feelings on my end that I refuse to express, I am sensing his emotionally unavailability. Whether I’d put out or not early on, I am certain he would have been pulling back from me soon after, no matter what. It’s possible he’s faking being cool, too, but in any case, I’m glad we did not have sex, because despite my year long fast, I was not ready for it- with him. I had sex with a different, good enough guy on NYE, but it’s just not the same when it’s an honest fwb situation like that was when there’s no romance and tension. Romance and tension take time, and I (like most women) need that to be able to get my rocks off! Some of us just aren’t wired to be satisfied by casual sex, yet going without doesn’t seem to work either…

    1. Thanks for the compliment, Sala. 🙂 Glad you’re enjoying the posts.

      You have a quasi-typical situation, because you’re aware of what’s happening in your mind and your body.

      The typical situation is that the woman believes what she watched in the movies and is completely surprised when she finally wakes up into reality.

      Guys pulling back is a tricky issue. You can argue that hooking up with him caused him to pull back, but you can also argue that NOT hooking up with him for so long BEFORE deciding to hook up with him gave him a different perspective on what happened. Nobody actually knows which one it is, so all we can do is spend our time with people wisely.

      I’m not understanding from what you wrote “what you’re waiting for”… Meaning I understand what you wrote, but I can’t decipher what change would have occurred in that dude that would have caused you to feel like having sex with him.

      I know you said you weren’t ready. What would have made you ready? \o/

      I ask because if you don’t know the signs that make you ready, maybe there aren’t any, and you’ll never be ready.

      Also, on a different topic, your NYE story brings up something I’ve always said.. which is that it’s way easier to get laid when the chick doesn’t perceive you as Prince Charming. >:D

  4. I recently discovered your website and am really liking your posts! However, I disagree with your opinion.

    There are people who simply prefer staying virgins–this includes men too. My boyfriend and I (he’s Deist, I’m Muslim) both want to stay virgins for a while. Sexuality has been (and continues to be) used against women, even though there is nothing wrong with a woman who wants to enjoy her life and biological-endowed desires. Still, a woman (or man) who would feel more comfortable delaying sex isn’t in the wrong either.

    The reasons for staying a virgin vary too. The common reasons are based on deeply-ingrained sexism, sadly. For me, sex seems like a very emotional experience. That’s why I want to lose my virginity after developing a certain level of commitment. My boyfriend’s reasoning is similar (he just doesn’t feel comfortable having sex until he’s very close to someone).

    1. Hey Lily. 🙂 Thanks for the comment.

      That’s a totally respectable position you have there. 🙂

      I think that people who have certain convictions, regardless of what they’re based in, should follow them, because we’re only going to live one time, so we may as well do it as well as we feel we can. 😀

      I was speaking more about people in general and women in particular who DO NOT have any particular convictions, but just consider themselves to be special because they avoided sex until they were a quarter-century old (and in many cases, way older).

      One way to look at it is that the person is very selective.

      The other way to look at it is that the person wasn’t able to attract the kind of person they wanted to have sex with, which is a personality flaw, not a feature to brag about.

      Cheers! 😀

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