Todd Akin is apparently a Republican Congressman from Missouri. I neither knew that or cared about that before today, and I still don’t care.

The reason I heard of him today is that he said this utterly, absolutely, indefensibly insane thing on television that was just so stupid that I swore I hadn’t heard him correctly, or I hadn’t understood what I had heard.

It’s also so offensive and crazy that I’m not even going to talk about what he said.

If you want to go read about it yourself, here’s a Washington Post article -> “Todd Akin’s Bachmann-esque problem”.

If you just want to watch and hear this idiot speak, here’s the YouTube video ->

Basic Education

This guy is so stupid that he reminds me of elementary school (in the United States, that’s up to 6th grade, so I’m talking about kids younger than 12 years old), when the rumor went around (and I’m not going to talk about this either! 😀 hahaha) that there was a particular difference to Asian female anatomy, compared to white and black chicks.

Being that none of us had seen this with our own eyes, we could neither confirm nor deny the rumor… HOWEVER… Even at 11 or 12 years old, we were already intelligent enough to know that if we spoke about this rumor as if it were a concrete fact, we stood the risk of being shouted down as idiots for believing such nonsense, then taking our pick of becoming laughingstocks or pariahs.

Or, Both.

This is why I couldn’t clearly fathom what this dude said. It was so stupid, yet he said it as if he had witnessed clinical tests like how they test seat belts with crash test dummies in order to certify them as surpassing safety inspection requirements.

It was like I was watching this grown-ass man on television, starting a sentence off with “[Because Asian females’ anatomy is different] blah blah”, and I was like “He never found out that was a completely false rumor? o_O How stupid is THIS guy?.. How could he get so old without attaining proper knowledge?.. How can he go on television and blurt this nonsense out as if it’s scientifically-proven fact? \o/”

Anyway.. I thought that was going to be as bad as this situation was going to get.. That there was one dude that was living his life based on false premises. Sucks to be him. 😀

So then, I tuned in to The Rachel Maddow Show, because I knew she was gonna go berserk on this idiot, and I just wanted to laugh a lot.

The video isn’t up yet, but here are a couple of articles from her blog -> “Akin clinging to his Senate bid” and “Akin tries damage-control mode”.

So, What I thought was going to be funny turned out to not be funny, but just plain absolutely ******* pathetic.

Come to find out that this dude that I thought was merely either uneducated, undereducated, or miseducated, was actually speaking what he and a bunch of other people consider to be the truth.

I can’t even explain it, it’s so dumb.. I mean, I’m rarely surprised by the astounding levels of human stupidity and gullibility, but this… This guy is an elected official. o_O

Damn. smh. :/

Anyway.. Fortunately, Jezebel has already explained this issue, top to bottom, so if you’re interested, go read their article “The Official Guide To Legitimate ****.

The Point

Now… Why in the hell would Republicans care what some dude running for a Senate seat in Missouri blurts out on television? 😀

I told you 10 days ago that Mitt Romney is not running for President ->

I broke it down fully in that article, but the short version is that Romney’s job is to a) incessantly repeat rhetoric about President Barack Obama, whether it’s true or not, and b) not take any positions on anything.

This is because the Republicans don’t care whether Romney wins or not.

According to Grover Norquist:

“We are not interviewing for Fearless Leader. We don’t need a President to tell us which way to go. We want the Paul Ryan budget, which cuts spending 6 trillion dollars… [snip] We just need a President to sign this stuff.

We don’t need someone to think it up, or design it. We have a House and a Senate… The leadership now, for the modern Conservative movement for the next 20 years will be coming out of the House and the Senate.

So focus on electing the most Conservative Republican who can win in each House seat, and the most Conservative Republican who can win in each Senate seat, and then pick a Republican with enough working digits to handle a pen to become the President of the United States.“

So.. Romney is the dude with “enough working digits to handle a pen”. Interestingly enough, PAUL RYAN was selected as Romney’s VP running mate.. The same dude that Norquist was talking about back in February… Months before Romney supposedly “selected” Paul Ryan as his running mate.

Also, Romney has no support. The Conservatives know he isn’t a Conservative. They said so all throughout the Republican nomination process.

If Romney hadn’t selected Ryan, the Conservatives would have stayed home. Now, they have a reason to vote for President Ryan.

That doesn’t really matter, though, because according to Norquist, the Republican goal is to elect “the most Conservative Republican who can win in each Senate seat”, and if you think the cockblocking has been good for the last four years, wait until Republicans control the House *AND* the Senate! 😀

Unfortunately for their plan, they were counting on Todd Akin to win a Senate seat by defeating current Senator Claire McCaskill in the upcoming election -> NYT: “G.O.P. Trying to Oust Akin From Race for **** Remarks”

There are now two problems with running Akin against McCaskill.

The first one is that all they have to do is keep playing his youtube video every day in Missouri, and he will lose his election, potentially losing Republicans the control of the Senate that they’ve been hoping for…. Which, if you go to her website,, the first thing you see is an advertisement with Akin’s face on it, so that campaign has already begun…

Can You Sayyy….. Albatross? o_O

The second problem is that Todd Akin has co-sponsored legislation with Paul Ryan on the very same topic -> Bloomberg:”Todd Akin and Paul Ryan Are More Alike Than You Think”

So, Now.. Every day that Akin stays in the race for the Senate, Democrats are going to publicize him as the poster child for Republicans and attribute what he said, not only to the current Republican Vice Presidential nominee, but to Every. Single. Republican. Running. For. Anything in this country.

To make things even more interesting, he only has until tomorrow (Tuesday, at 5pm) to quit the race so the Republicans can select a brand new candidate to run against Claire McCaskill.

Akin said he isn’t quitting, even though a whole bunch of high-profile Republicans have suggested that he step down -> LA Times: “Tea party rogue: Todd Akin defies GOP bosses by staying in race”.

How interesting would it be if a candidacy that wasn’t supposed to win in the first place is actually derailed by some dude from Missouri spouting old wives’ tales as if they’re scientific facts? o_O

The initial problem with the Romney campaign is that his character is malleable. Nobody actually knows what he’s going to do. Everybody knows he’s adamantly purported to believe in both sides of very many issues. Bringing Ryan in as “Vice” President was supposed to solve that, because he’s the author of the Ryan plan that Norquist said the Republicans wanted.

Ryan speaks quickly and decisively, and generally seems to have core beliefs… The Yin to Romney’s Yang, as it were. If Akin resigns tomorrow, this will all go away in a week, right in time for the Democratic and Republican Conventions.

If Akin does not resign, his face won’t only be on, but on every website for every Democrat running against a Republican, and most likely, on A LOT OF television commercials for Congressional elections, as well as our Presidential election, which is only 77 days from now.

Romney’s only hope of defeating President Barack Obama three months from now is to a) outline a concrete plan for how Americans are going to get more jobs if he’s elected, which is a better plan than what Obama is offering, and b) talk about that plan Every. Single. Day. that he has available to him.

Everything else is a distraction. If Romney wastes his time talking about social issues, he will lose. If he talks about foreign policy, he will lose. If he talks about religion, he will lose. If he talks about immigration, he will lose.

This is why Republicans are clamoring for Akin to exit the race. He’s made himself a distraction, and opened the door for reporters and debate moderators to ask Paul Ryan questions about something other than economic policy, wasting what little time Team Romney has left to convince Independent voters that he has the best ideas for running the country between 2013 and 2016.

If Akin doesn’t step down… and he loses… and he causes other Republicans to lose their Congressional races due to “guilt by association”, the Norquist takeover plan is out the window, and Todd Akin will have singlehandedly sunk the Republicans’ battleship. Follow Bill via Facebook | Twitter | YouTube | Google+ | Email Subscription | RSS Feed

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    1. That’s exactly the issue here, Fishingrod.. American *COLLECTIVE* memory.

      The USA is made up of a bunch of small pockets of people that really, really, REALLY believe in something, and then when you put one of them on the National stage, they forget that everybody in the country can hear them, and they actually speak the truth as they believe it.

      It’s really incredibly embarrassing.

      Just, Embarrassing. :/

  1. William, is it a coincidence that the question “Who is John Gault?” Appears at the end of this article. The answer is “a rapist.”

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