Who Said We Were Friends? o_O (or: “She Could Get It”)

The point being that if women understood dating clearly, they would have a better time of it.

One of the problems that lots of women have with dating is that they refuse to understand/believe/accept that men and women are playing two different games. Men understand this and women don’t, which leads to lots of women falling for the okey-doke when they really don’t have to.

For instance, one of my most intelligent and reality-understanding female friends asks me why guys keep kickin’ it to (read: trying to get sex from) women that obviously aren’t giving them any rhythm (aren’t showing signs of sexual interest in him).

The obvious answer to that is that nobody cares what you think. A guy either wants to have sex with you or he doesn’t. What you think about that is irrelevant. He’s still going to try to tag up.

That’s obvious to men because… We’re men.

That isn’t obvious to women because it doesn’t jibe with their fairytale notion that they were brainwashed with as little girls that men are inspired to have sex with women solely for some supernatural reason that’s mutually beneficial and has nothing to do with physicality.

In fact, sex is a biological imperative. If nobody has sex, there are no more kids, and the species eventually becomes extinct.

Therefore, guys are inclined to desire sexual interaction with women that turn us on, *NOT* necessarily with women that “give them rhythm” = indicate that they want to have sex with us.

This is why there are no fat strippers.

 
 
 

The point being that if women understood dating clearly, they would have a better time of it.

Unfortunately, that would require women to believe that men and women are different, which we are.

Again.. Men understand this. Women rebel against this.

One of the downsides of women attempting to be men, or, to put it another way, believing in a “We’re all the same” society is that they think they can apply female thought patterns to males and jack themselves up in the process.

Women think “What would *I* do if…” instead of “What would a male do if…”, which isn’t useful, and sets women up for dating failure.

Who Started This?

This brings us to the question of the day, which is “Who said we were friends? o_O”

This is very, very, very, very, VERY important.

It’s not important who says we’re friends *NOW*. It’s important who said we were friends *FIRST*.

People tend to accept and then propagate to the public an unified description of their relationship to each other. This is why it isn’t important if a guy and gal agree at this point in time that they are “friends”. Whomever started it, the other one is going to start using the same word, even though it doesn’t mean the same thing.

Males use the term “friend” to mean “I like her as a person, have things in common with her, and would spend platonic time with her, however, if she’s attractive to me, she could get it.”

Females use the term “friend” (often preceded by the word “just”, indicating a lower-level status than some other type of relationship) to mean “I am not having sex with this male.”

This is why women tend to bug out and overthink situations where “friends” end up hooking up. They are now wondering how to compartmentalize the guy, since they don’t have a description for a guy they like as a person and may or may not have sex with if they feel like doing that.

Meanwhile, the guy is chillin’. He’s like “She looked good. I felt like hittin’ it. That’s what I did. Let’s watch the game together now.”

This is because the male description of female friends has nothing to do with whether he’d hook up with her or not. It has to do with whether he considers her a FRIEND or not.

So, It’s very important to think back and consider who started this? 😀 .. Who called the other one a friend first?

It was probably the female, because males tend to hang out WITH our friends, therefore, friendship with her was implied by the fact that we agreed to spend time with her in the first place, and there’s no reason to say “You are my friend, _____. :)”.

There’s also no reason for guys to mention that because it doesn’t have any bearing on whether she could get it or not.

So, If the gal started it and called the guy her friend, he’s going to agree, because a) he considers her a friend, in the male description, and b) if he disagrees, she’s going to bounce, and he won’t get the chance to hit it.

In other words, there’s no downside for a guy who decides to agree with a gal’s description of their relationship as a friendship.

Now.. If the guy started this “friend” stuff, that “might could” mean that she *CAN’T* get it, which is an entirely different situation. 🙂

SIDE NOTE: For y’all ladies that might be wondering what “it” is, I’m referring to the general response when one male points out a female to another male… If he would hook up with her, the response is “She could get it”… You can tell how interested he is in her by how much emphasis he puts on that statement.. It might sound like “meh.. (shrug) she could get it. :/”, or it might sound like “SHE COULD GET IT!!!!! >:D”… Another sign of emphasis would be how much his face scrunches up as if he’s in some sort of pain when he says that.

Most guys aren’t going to tell women they want to have sex with that they’re their friends, because we know and acknowledge the difference in how men and women think.

Labels & Appearances

For instance.. A chick might be cute, right? 🙂 haha But that doesn’t mean she can’t get it.

Some guys like having sex with cute women.

Meanwhile, you can’t TELL HER that she’s cute, because her analysis of that is “He thinks I’m CUTE… instead of SEXY!!! :O” and then your chances to get on go directly downhill from there.

OTOH, if a chick says a dude is cute, that means she doesn’t find you visually repulsive, and she’s willing to stick around long enough for you to throw your hat in the ring and try to get some. >:D

So, if a guy starts the “friends” thing, he’s saying it in the FEMALE understanding of “friends”, not the male one.

Unfortunately, the female definition of “friends” doesn’t make a distinction between ACTUAL FRIENDS and guys she’s claiming not to have sex with.

Actually, that’s another important point. There’s no societal pressure on guys to be seen as *NOT* having sex with some chick, unless she looks busted, in which case it’s embarrassing, and you might have to suffer jokes for a few months about how desperate you are and blah blah, but there’s no such thing as a male “slut”.

Meaning, you can call guys “sluts” all you like, but all you’re saying is “You can get laid”, which is a positive thing for males, not negative.

So, When a female is interrogated about a male, she’s under pressure to deny having sex with him, whether she did or not in the past, and whether she will continue to do so in the future.

This is another thing that erodes the credibility of women calling men “friends”. Women have reasons to lie about that, for their own self-esteem, and men don’t.

Or.. Let me put that another way.. Men’s reasons for playing it off are external, and women’s are internal. Guys might not bring it up because there’s no social benefit to us in saying who we hooked up with. What difference does it make? 😀 Guys can get girls or we can’t. “Which ones” doesn’t matter.

Meanwhile.. Women always have to take a defensive posture, and act like they’re either having sex with one guy, who has claimed that she’s his girlfriend/fiancee/wife/whatever, or that she’s not having sex with any guys at all. So, Every guy that hasn’t publicly claimed her as at least a girlfriend will be labeled “a friend” when she mentions him to anyone that asks.

So, the male definition of a female friend is “A chick that I like as a person, and would spend time with, and, depending on how she looks that day, I may or may not tap that ass”, and the female definition of “friend” is a guy that she’d rather not have anyone think she’s having sex with.

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8 thoughts on “Who Said We Were Friends? o_O (or: “She Could Get It”)”

  1. No guy cares how many guy friends I have UNLESS he wants to hit it with me. Only then will he start nagging to me that all of my guy friends want to sleep with me. There is a certain ethnic group/part of the world that shrouds their women because they TOO believe men are incapable of controlling their desire. In the USA and other freedom seeking countries we give women the freedom to wear what they want and we tell men it’s rape if they can’t keep it in their pants. (For the sake of this post I have seen a man expose his penis on the NY subway, and yes, it was gross and I understand why it is a crime.) I think that is progress.

    Here’s the thing. Being a woman, say…working out at the gym or shopping at the grocery…. I can’t stop to think every damn fool man I run into is thinking how he would contort my body. I just can’t. I’m thinking about shoes I want. Or maybe the my hair isn’t the shade it should be. (Actually, I think about making money too, but for the purpose of this post….).

    We don’t care if you want to sleep with us or not. We can’t care. Our brains would explode and we would go back to wearing black robes with eye cut-outs. After age 30 most women know all men are perverted sex pigs who only want one thing! My GRANDMOTHER warned me!! I’m pretty sure she only had sex with my GrandDad. Heh, he was probably dreaming about a sheep somewhere….but what do I know?

    1. lol Kay 🙂

      That’s why it isn’t the woman’s job to procure sex. It’s her job to look good so THE GUY suggests it and/or tries to get some.

      It’s one of those unfair aspects of the game. Guys are turned on by how women look. We don’t need to speak to you or find out *ANYTHING* about your personalities.

      We’re physically turned on by you or we aren’t.

      There’s no reason for you to go around considering which guys are interested, because the ones that are will throw their hats in the ring and see what they can do.

      The women that have a problem in this society are the ones that actively want and seek hookups with random guys, because they have to wade through their sea of brainwashing about “what it means” if a woman wants to have sex, how she’s going to be treated, and what names she’s going to be called.

      Guys don’t worry about that. We get on or we don’t. \o/

      As far as a guy nagging about a gal having male friends, that’s dating 101.

      “Thwart the attempts of other potential suitors”

  2. To be fair; I realize you aren’t talking about ‘control of one’s desire’. You are talking about the secret mechanisms of how men’s minds work. Women should be more aware. Thank you for that!

    Yes, it is true; most guy friends hint if not come out and say they want some. But women just catch the volley and tell them it would ruin everything. (And it would, at least for the woman.) So you stay at being just friends. And I get it…. Men hate to be friend zoned when they want more. However, women hate to be a pit stop on a man’s rotation; so we are destined to give and take the power. Perhaps there is a Law of the Universe in place here. Yin and Yang, whatever.

    Seriously; as women it is demeaning to think men only want us around or be around us for one purpose. Again…back to those other countries…..

    1. A lot of times, Kay, this discussion devolves (de-evolutes) into the word “only”.

      I’m talking parallel processing, not serial.

      For some reason, women think that since they’re either desired for sex or they aren’t, and “aren’t” is better for their self-esteem, even though “are” indicates that they look better.

      It isn’t that guys “only” hang around chicks for sex, is that in a lot of cases, that’s the only reason they met them in the first place, and they end up hanging out with them, EITHER to stay in the pocket to try to get some, or because in engaging her, he found something out about her that endears her to him as a person, whether he wants to hit it or not.

      So, I’m saying there are two entirely different processes going on, simultaneously.. Whether he likes her as a person or not, and whether he’s sexually turned on by her or not.

      This doesn’t occur to a lot of women because they aren’t turned on by guys they don’t like as people, so it doesn’t compute to them that a guy might think nothing of them whatsoever and still be perfectly willing to have sex with them.

  3. “That isn’t obvious to women because it doesn’t jibe with their fairytale notion that they were brainwashed with as little girls that men are inspired to have sex with women solely for some supernatural reason that’s mutually beneficial and has nothing to do with physicality.”

    That part about “mutually beneficial” reasons… Sorry, but most men I know totally want sex to be mutually beneficial. Most men I know want women to enjoy the experience. That has nothing to do with anything supernatural and doesn’t mean it isn’t physical. It can and many times is only physical, with no love/fascination involved, but I still want both of us happy with it.
    But then again I’m not American. Probably many/most American men are indeed that unworthy of having any contact with women. No wonder they are always ranked one of the worst lovers in the world, haha.

    On the rest, most women I’m friends with think of friendship the same way you say men think of it. Most people I know regardless of gender think like that. Sure, when a friend wants something with you and you don’t feel the same way you usually will say “well, you are just a friend, you know?”, but that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t want something more with another friend of yours, one you are also attracted to.

    1. Hey Josh 🙂 Thanks for the comment.

      I see what you’re saying.. I could have been more clear about what I was saying there (which you still may not agree with, haha).

      The entire section reads:

      The obvious answer to that is that nobody cares what you think. A guy either wants to have sex with you or he doesn’t. What you think about that is irrelevant. He’s still going to try to tag up.

      That’s obvious to men because… We’re men.

      That isn’t obvious to women because it doesn’t jibe with their fairytale notion that they were brainwashed with as little girls that men are inspired to have sex with women solely for some supernatural reason that’s mutually beneficial and has nothing to do with physicality.

      In fact, sex is a biological imperative. If nobody has sex, there are no more kids, and the species eventually becomes extinct.

      Therefore, guys are inclined to desire sexual interaction with women that turn us on, *NOT* necessarily with women that “give them rhythm” = indicate that they want to have sex with us.

      This is why there are no fat strippers.”

      What I was trying to address with that section the belief that many women have that men *only* have sex with them because of some supernatural reason like “being in love” with them.

      That isn’t true. Some guys are physically attracted to chicks regardless of a) what they think of them as a human being, or b) *IF* they think or even KNOW anything about them as a human being because they never cared or bothered to ask.

      Meanwhile, a guy can still be in love with his girlfriend or wife while having *ZERO* desire to have sex with her because she got too fat (or too skinny or whatever). “Love” isn’t going to make him enjoy having sex with a chick he doesn’t feel like having sex with.

      And yes.. It’s a good idea to have mutually-beneficial sex with women so they feel like doing it again.

      I’m not saying nobody *wants* to do it. I’m just saying it’s only a part of the formula. Guys have sex with chicks they don’t love and they love chicks they don’t have sex with.

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