A few evenings ago, The Kid was surrounded by love. 🙂 By that, I mean that I attended an event where I was seated across from a charming couple that will be married next year, if July occurs (hehe.. inside joke), and seated next to a loving couple that have been married for several years, and are obviously enjoying sharing their lives together.. Which is the bottom line, ‘Cause Stone Cold Said So! >:D

So, of course, I was blathering on about my single-people’s dating tips, except this time, I stopped and changed the topic so I could learn something from obviously-successful couples…. I mean, so I can tell the information to you. I don’t personally need to become part of a successful couple. 😛

So the question was something like “How do people get to know each other to the point that they want to get married?” or “What is it that glues y’all’s relationship together” or something to that effect, and the rather interesting answer from the about-to-be-wife was something like “We care about each other’s passions”.

I mean.. Is that *GREAT*, or what? 😀 haha Why didn’t *I* think of that one?!?

What a gimmick, right? 😀 haha Feigning interest in things that a female cares about.

This is not what’s happening in their actual relationship.. *THEY* actually care, but when I heard it, I was like GAD ZOOKS!! :O THAT’S *BRILLIANT*!!! :O

Like.. Who Cares? \o/

See.. A lot of guys can’t tell you anything about their girlfriends, except MAAAAYYYYBEEEEE her bra size.

Slicker guys will spy the chick’s bra size so he can go shopping for her -> billcammack.com/2008/06/26/how-to-dress-your-girlfriend/, but that’s a different topic.

Generally.. If you ask dudes about their girlfriends, they can’t tell you very much of any import at all.. Like, he might be able to tell you whether she prefers to wear jeans or skirts, or how she likes to “get it” behind closed doors, but other than things that directly influence or affect *HIS* personal experience of her, he really doesn’t have much to say.

Of course, this makes sense, because who cares what your girl is doing when she isn’t with you? \o/ haha I mean, what difference does it make whether she was playing golf or practicing jiu-jitsu, so long as she’s here right now, she looks good right now, and she’s down to get busy right now? 😀

So a lot of guys come up short when you ask them anything other than the obvious about their girlfriends.. Not because they don’t want to put her business in the streets, but because they don’t *KNOW* her business to PUT IT in the streets.

This is why what about-to-be-wife said was BRILLIANT! 🙂 About-to-be-husband was interested in certain things that she may or may not (probably, NOT) care about, but, because she was into him as a person, she took the time to delve into his passions with him, and he did the same with her.

So simple.. Yet, so effective! 😀

Huh? You Like Mustard? o_O

Oh.. I forgot to mention… These guys don’t know anything about their girlfriends’ passions because… wait for it…..THEY. DON’T. ASK. THEM. JACK. ****. ABOUT. THEMSELVES!

It isn’t like the women are hiding the information. We all know women LOOOOOOOOVE to talk. However.. When your complete interest in the chick is her functionality to you, you’re not likely to ask her anything that doesn’t directly pertain to your own personal enjoyment, and you miss out on a major aspect of so-called “relationships”, which is getting to know each other.

So, about-to-be-husband knew that his wife-to-be’s passion was gardening and landscaping… I have to tell you.. If I knew a chick that was into gardening, I’d be SHORT, sunnn. haha About the best I’d be able to do is go “oh.. Look, honey… There goes a tomato.”

I don’t give a flying **** about gardening, and it would be tough for me to fake being interested in gardening, which is why this concept is so pure and lovely.

Part of about-to-be-husband’s caring about his about-to-be-wife is being actually, genuinely, authentically, HONESTLY interested in what she’s interested in.

That doesn’t mean he LIKES gardening, or cares about it himself. I’m saying that he strives to FIND OUT and then PARTICIPATE IN what his woman is interested in, REGARDLESS of what he personally thinks about it.

(He may or may not like gardening, himself. I didn’t ask him. Either way, it’s beside the point.)

Meanwhile, about-to-be-wife knew that about-to-be-husband was interested in planes, which is when she ended up saying something like “blah blah blah I know what it means to be a triplane! :D”

Of course.. Silence ensued.

Eventually, about-to-be-husband goes “What it means to be a triplane? o_O”, and she starts laughing, then the rest of us in the conversation start laughing at/with her, and everyone enjoyed the moment.

It’s already good that she had a sense of humor about getting caught out there for something obviously funny that she said, but, more importantly, I had already understood exactly what she was saying, as well as the sentiment that caused her to say what she said.

Togetherness

It really doesn’t matter if your favorite football team scores a touchdown, and your girlfriend jumps up and screams “HOME RUN!!! \o/”

You know why?.. Because it isn’t HER thing.. It’s YOUR thing.

Can you tell one type of tomato from another one? No, you can not, so don’t complain if she doesn’t know a touchdown from a home run.

The family that plays together, stays together.

Beleedat.

My ex wanted to play Capture The Flag, because I was playing it.

It wasn’t because she actually wanted to play CTF or that she was any good at it.. She just wanted to be involved in something that I enjoy, and that’s what’s up! 😀

So, I suffered through playing half-screen (meaning both of us were playing from the same console), so both of us could have a character, and I ran all over creation trying to shoot dudes so she could escape with the flag.

If that isn’t LOVE, I don’t know what to tell you. 😀

Of course, my suffering was worthwhile, because I’m a highly-successful video gamer, and she really, really, really, REALLY enjoyed when we would win games together, especially when she had an active part in our victories.

Similarly.. If your girl puts on her baseball jersey to come sit next to you and enjoy the football game, BE. HAPPY. ABOUT. THAT. and enjoy the fact that she’s interested enough in your personal passions to be involved with them for the sake of y’all’s *togetherness*, even if she doesn’t know what the **** she’s talking about when y’all discuss it.

So…………. What’s your girl’s favorite color? o_O

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4 Comments

  1. Hey Bill,
    In addition to being interested in your significant others interests, it’s important that each person in the relationship HAVE their own interests. This brings variety to the relationship. Each person should be able to go off on their own, and then come back to talk about those interests.
    –Steve

    1. Absolutely! 😀 Agreed, Steve.

      That’s the best situation.. Overlap between interests & passions, but also unique and interesting elements being brought to the table by each person.

  2. Hi Bill,

    Great post! Reminds me of my parents who have been married 40+ years. My mother is a minister and my Dad is a Jewish finance guy. My Dad doesn’t share her religious beliefs but enjoys going to church on Sunday to support her and participate. My Mom has no clue about finance but she listens carefully every night at dinner about my Dad’s business dealings. They have respect for each other.

    My recent dating exploits aren’t successful at all but I know what a good relationship looks like.

    – Sally

    1. Hey, Sally! 😀

      Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Y’all don’t have to be into the same things, but it’s good to recognize the other person’s passions and support them in doing what makes them feel like their life is fulfilling.

      Also, you learn more about the world in general and yourself in particular when you hear things from people with different perspectives and different IRL experiences.

      In fact, I think it’s more important to know what a good relationship looks like than to be in a bad relationship and not be able to recognize it.

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