I just became aware of the latest scandal involving an internet bigwig. Some people who used to hang out with this dude ALL THE TIME are now saying “I knew he was a creep for a long time” and/or “I heard horrific rumors about him for a long time”.
I find this situation funny, yet educational, for a few reasons. One of them is that the people that “heard rumors” didn’t say JACK **** until this dude was publicly called out for his rumored behavior, way after the fact of when the situations actually occured, and with, so far, zero evidence of anything occurring at all, other than the word of this guy’s ex-girlfriend, who happens to be his accuser.
What’s funny about that is that by speaking up NOW, you highlight that you FAILED TO or REFUSED to speak up between when you heard these rumors and when the public allegations surfaced = not fly.
Another reason this is educational is “What were the rumor-hearing people supposed to do about it, anyway? \o/” It’s a rumor. They weren’t there. They didn’t SEE anything happen. They aren’t witnesses. Even if they take the complainant’s word for what happened, they have no direct knowledge of it, themselves.
What’s The Problem?
Generally, this situation has to do with “domestic violence”, which is the current classification for people that are hooking up with each other being mentally or physically abusive towards each other.
Back in the day, I knew some guys that were what would be considered in 2013 “abusive” towards chicks they were dating. Not once, but several times. Not as an anomaly, but as an aspect of the relationship.
If things weren’t going the way the guy wanted, things could easily get physical, including all the way up to a fistfight between the guy and gal……. And then she would come back in the near future (assuming she left at all that night, and they didn’t just go to sleep or have sex or whatever they did after the fight) and resume their relationship until the next physical fight, and then she would come back in the near future….. That was the nature of their relationship.
To go off on a tangent for a second, that’s why I told *EVERYBODY* immediately that Chris Brown and Rihanna never broke up. If that car incident had been the first time that would have happened to her, she would have reacted differently. I had already seen women who were very comfortable with the fact that their relationship might come to blows and had no intention of ending their relationship AT. ALL.
In fact, the guys that I knew that used to lay hands on chicks if they deemed it necessary were *ALWAYS* the ones to initiate a final breakup with the chick. Always. The guy had had enough of her being a pain in the neck and ended the relationship. It was never the chick getting tired of having to fight with her boyfriend.
So I was clear that it was for the media and their careers that Chris Brown and Rihanna faked breaking up. They’re back together now.. Just like I told everyone from the giddyap, because I’ve seen/heard this before with my own eyes and ears.
I wanted to mention that because I called a sit-down with one of my friends that conducted himself this way, because I was concerned for his well-being.
I was aware that he was only dating ghetto chicks, who happened to be very very used to getting their asses kicked by their parents, other relatives, their friends, and guys they’re screwing.
It was my obligation, as a friend of his, to tell him that he needed to stop having physical fights with chicks, because as soon as he did that with a normal chick, she was going to press charges on him, and he was going to have to deal with the court system.
We had the conversation, he understood what I said. My job was done.
I don’t think it had any bearing on his current relationship to his current girlfriend, but if he had slipped up in the future, which he never did, as far as I know, I had done my part as a friend to warn him that his behavior was culturally unacceptable, even though his history was with females that accepted it.
So, in this new, 2013 Tech Industry situation, I really wonder how many people sat down with the dude being accused and told him to his face that *IF* (because they weren’t there when the situations occurred. I had been there during situations, so I was speaking from first-hand knowledge) he was doing the things these chicks are claiming he’s doing, he needs to stop, think about it, and or seek help before this becomes a legal issue for him.
The internet game is interesting, because you get to craft whatever personality you want, and people don’t know whether what you’re saying is real or fake.
As far as the character I play on the internet, I’m Conceited, Condescending, have a Superiority Complex, graduated from the top college on the planet in the history of civilization (alum.mit.edu/www/billcammack), I’m Souped Up, can do ANYTHING I focus my mind and abilities towards, and I refer to myself in third person as “The Kid”.
In reality, I never refer to myself in third person.
This is why it’s very important that people know who you are.. Who you REALLY are… If some chick decides to make up a lie about me and includes saying I called myself “The Kid” while I’m speaking to her IRL (in real life), she’s busted, because I can produce more than 50 chicks that know me better than she does who will say that I have *NEVER* called myself that when I was spending time with them, because that is not what I do. It’s part of the internet show, not my personal reality.
Meanwhile, if the question was whether I screwed some guy’s girlfriend whom I wasn’t friends with… Meaning not friends with the guy, not “not friends with the girl” :) .. Those same 50 chicks would all say “Yeah, he probably did it”, assuming her looks were in the range that they know I’m physically attracted to.
Same thing with drugs and alcohol. Everybody knows I drink beer all the time. Usually, every day.
The people that actually know me also know that I’ve never taken a single drug in my life, and never smoked one cigarette either.
So if someone wants to lie and say I took drugs, that isn’t going to succeed.
Kids were offering me cigarettes in 5th grade, and I declined them then, and nothing’s ever changed.
As far as chicks that I hang out with, if they don’t live far from where we’re chillin’, I make sure they get to the front door of their apartment building safely… Always… If they live far away, I make sure they get to their transportation safely.
Any chick that tells you otherwise is lying.
That’s because an *IMPORTANT* part of any evening for me is security. Not so much my own, but hers. It’s very important to me and an integral fact of my personal life. Historical fact bears this out, and I have many, many witnesses that I don’t leave chicks that I care about in the streets to fend for themselves.
The Bottom Line.. ‘Cause Stone Cold Said So
I don’t have physical fights with chicks I’m hooking up with.
If they’re that much of a jerk that I feel like fighting them, I’m not going to spend time with them at all.
There are literally MILLIONS of chicks in this town. There is NO REASON whatsoever to spend time with someone you can’t get along with, can’t communicate with, can’t debate with, and can’t figure things out intellectually with.
Again.. If some chick decides to say we were hanging out having a good time and I laid hands on her, she’s lying, and I’ll immediately have hundreds of witnesses to that effect.
The people that know me know I don’t give a flying fuck about you enough to physically attack you. I’m just going to act like you never existed, and my life is going to be better off without you.
I’ll tell you what is NOT going to happen…
Nobody’s going to go “I heard rumors that he did that kind of thing”.
Nobody’s going to go “I know chicks that say he roughed them up”.
Nobody’s going to go “I know chicks that are jerks and he STILL spent time with them”.
Nobody’s going to go “I’ve seen him smoking a cigarette (or doing any kinds of drugs)”.
People have to know who you are.
If they don’t know who you are, as a person, what your limits to your personal morals and ethics are, you’re taking a major risk that people will respond to you as the character you portray yourself as on the internet.
That isn’t to say that the person involved in this Tech Industry situation was portraying a character, but rather that the prevailing tide in the face of allegations needs to be “Nah, I don’t believe it, and here are the reasons why”, instead of “Yeah, I had heard that about him in the past, but elected not to say anything about it until it went public”.
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