Difficulty Levels

Before you accept dating advice from some dude, make sure you’re aware of what level of women he has experience with and is referring to.

Every time I see a picture of this gal I know, she’s someplace new.

Not just new, as in “I haven’t seen a picture of her in that place before”, but new as in “I’VE NEVER HEARD OF THAT CITY OR COUNTRY EVER BEFORE IN MY LIFE!” new.

It’s pretty annoying. 🙂 [yet, simultaneously fun and interesting]

I mean, I’ll click on her picture and it’ll say the location is West Mxyzptlkstan or some nonsense, and I’m like “not again! :/”

I was thinking about her the other day and started considering the difference in difficulty levels in kickin’ it to women.. or perhaps, not kickin’ it, because anybody can just start running their mouths and hope something good happens, but rather difficulty levels in IMPRESSING women, or at least remaining in the pocket and not getting blitzed out of the game.

This different gal I know throws a party at a country club.

Not only were we drinking champagne, but the champagne came equipped with its own waiter. 😀

HAHAHAHAHAHA Some dude’s *JOB* was to stand next to the bucket of ice with the champagne in it, like those Beefeater dudes in England that the tourists take pictures next to and they never move! 😀

I mean, that wasn’t his *ONLY* job, like to GUARD the champagne.. He had to keep his Cylon on for people that were running out, then grab the bottle, walk over to them and “short-pour” them, meaning fill their glasses enough so they could keep sipping cold champagne, but not so much that the champagne would ever get warm, because he would be back with a refill if you started running out.

So.. Obviously.. With around 20 people in attendance, this party cost googobs of money.

Pretty much, the best I could have done to replicate that experience for people would have been to buy a ton of Foster’s wholesale and offer to stand next to the refrigerator myself, refilling people’s red plastic cups.

Both of the women I just mentioned are attractive, fun, and sophisticated… *AND* a guy is going to have an amazingly tough time impressing them.

There are a couple of reasons I wanted to bring this up.

The first one is that there are a lot of guys that hand out advice about kickin’ it to chicks and meanwhile, they have no experience whatsoever in higher-level-difficulty women.

They’re like people that tell you they finished H.A.L.O. and you’re like “oh.. on Legendary? :D” and they’re like “no” and then you suddenly don’t have any respect for them at all.

The second one is that guys’ rap game only evolves to the level at which they get laid.

Minor League / Major League

Some guys spend all day on Facebook calling bitches hoes and then they complain that they can’t maintain relationships with better women.

Think about that.

You can’t degrade the level of chicks you talk to without degrading yourself.

You can’t low-rate them without low-rating yourself.

If that’s all you can get, fine, that’s your life. Don’t act like they’re the only ones in the gutter and you’re looking down from the penthouse, wondering why you can’t score penthouse chicks. (not meaning the magazine, but the living quarters)

Also, don’t make the mistake here of thinking I’m equating “gutter” with “lack of earning potential”. I’m not. Some of the best, nicest, most deserving women I’ve ever met are broke as hell and can’t tell you the difference between there, their, and they’re. 😀

I’m saying you can’t talk down about a chick you’re kickin’ it to without admitting that *YOU* are right down there with her.

Meanwhile, these same guys will try to hand out advice on how to pull women, such as “You have to be a jerk, because women don’t respect nice guys and never give it up! :D”

Sorry. That’s bullshit.

There’s a difference between being a jerk in general and being a jerk to people that deserve it.

There’s a difference between being pleasantly accommodating and being weak-minded.

If you feel like you have to be a jerk to a chick to get her to do what you need her to do, your game sucks, and/or you’re kickin’ it to the wrong chicks.

A friend of mine told me that after his girlfriend of several years broke up with him and he was in a poor mood about it, the advice he received from his friends was to screw some other chick ASAP so he could forget about his ex-girlfriend.

That’s all well and good… *ASSUMING* that the only thing he received from his girlfriend during those years was sex.

If he also received companionship, camaraderie, and intelligent conversation, tappin’ the next azz isn’t going to help him out.

This wouldn’t be apparent to guys that are used to dealing with low-level women.

Money Talks

Another thing guys like to do is “lead with their wallets”, or utilize money to impress chicks into spreading their legs.

This is usually a decent tactic, as chicks love to receive free stuff from dudes. You’re like a walking ATM. Thank you! 😀

Well.. Actually.. You may or MAY NOT receive an actual “Thank You” from her, but that’s a different topic.

The first obvious problem with this style is that when your money runs out, so does your ability to get laid.

The second problem is that when you run into a gal that makes more money in one hour than you spent on tonight’s entire Peter Luger Steak House dinner, throwing money at her isn’t going to get you anywhere.

The third problem is that if she’s collecting from you, she’s also collecting from other dudes….

The fourth problem is that if someone outbids you, you’re finished. You could be doing everything right in y’all’s relationship, but if she gets an offer to move into that house in Connecticut and live out the rest of her life taking care of the eventual kids, your rap is THROUGH! 😀

The easy counter to wallet-style is either having a stellar personality or taxing that azz like the government, nah meen? 😀

Women’s loyalty to money goes to whomever currently has that money for her. Their loyalty to emotional or physical satisfaction goes to whomever currently has THAT for her. The latter is relatively cost-free to the guy providing it.

You also don’t want her equating the amount of money you spend on her to the amount that you care about her, because as soon as you start slackin’, all bets are off. 🙂

So.. Leading with your wallet is a really bad idea, though it’s usually the first thing guys consider to do.

It only works on chicks that NEED YOUR MONEY, and if they need your money, they need it from other dudes too.

It’s a lot tougher to gain favor with women that already have their own money, or are constantly getting money, or are divorced and getting free money, or whatever the case may be.

Next time, instead of asking a gal if you can buy her a drink, tell her to buy YOU a drink and see how far you get with that! >:D

Personality over Gimmicks

Similarly, utilizing your MetroCard to take a chick on the bus down to South Street Seaport for the Salsa festival isn’t going to impress her when she’s used to actually physically GOING TO the parts of the world that you play on your Xbox in “Call of Duty”.

When you move up in difficulty levels, it becomes tougher to top whatever experiences she’s already had.

A homegirl of mine moved to Africa since I last saw her.

WHO KNOWS what’s happened to her since then?! 😀 hahaha

For all I know, she got chased by a lion the other day, then she might come back to NYC and see a rat and think nothing of it… less than nothing.

Meanwhile, I know chicks who the most dangerous animal they’ve ever *SEEN* is a rat! 😀 haha and they’ll be standing on chairs and tables yelling and screaming and trying not to throw up.

So it’s like what are you supposed to do to impress the chased-by-a-lion chick? Take her to Great Adventure and drive though the so-called “Safari”? 😀 hahaha


YouTube Link -> Safari Off Road Adventure Six Flags Great Adventure

Unfortunately, the impressive part is going to have to be *YOU*.

YOU are going to have to be the day’s adventure. YOU are going to have to be the unique addition to her experience.

One of the funniest things in life that happens to me is that I’ll be talking about something perfectly regular and explaining something to a chick, and all of a sudden, she just buss out crying laughing. 😀

It’s funny to me because I’m usually not telling a joke or anything I find to be out of the ordinary to her when this happens, so while she’s cracking up and wiping the tears from her eyes, I’m trying to remember what I just said so I can enjoy what’s funny too.

I’m very glad I can bring that level of entertainment to women… unintentionally :/ .. because that means that they experienced something odd/strange/kooky/wacky/whatever that made their day different than what it would have been if they wouldn’t have spent time with me.

Ultimately, that needs to be your draw.. What happens when they spend time with YOU.

Not what happens when you spend your money on them. Not what happens when you take them someplace that some other dude could have taken them. Not when you rent a Lexus to take some chick out on a date when last weekend, she was on a yacht that some dude’s family owns.

Quit the gimmicks. If she’s got it like that, other guys are throwing more stuff at her than you can afford.

Glass Ceiling

The complaint I hear about this issue the most from women is that they feel like guys are treating them a certain way, when in fact, the guys are only doing the maximum that they’ve learned works to get women to have sex with them.

Like, maybe a chick will tell me “He thinks I’m easy! :O” (whether the chick in question *IS* easy or not is a different issue), and then when I ask her what happened, it’s clear that the guy that was kickin’ it to her only has experience with easy women, and what he said or did has nothing to do with his impression of her as an individual.

This is what I mentioned earlier. Guys only get as good at talking to women as they need to be in order to get laid.

If guys have access to easy chicks, which we will define for the purpose of this discussion as gals that give it up ASAP for no particular reason whatsoever, they won’t evolve past being effective with higher-difficulty women.

This means that when they meet non-easy women, they’re going to utilize the same tactics they use on easy women, because they just plain don’t have anything else in their bag of tricks.

It isn’t that they’re perceiving HER as easy. It’s that they’ve exhausted their entire repertoire of what has gotten women to lay down in the past.

I took you to dinner, I can get some now.
I bought you clothes, I can get some now.
I took you to Bermuda, I can get some now.
I called you my girlfriend, I can get some now.
I dated you for a whole MONTH!!, I can get some now.

A lot of women fail to recognize that much of what guys do and say is goal-oriented… If you can figure out his goal (which is usually the same exact thing, every single time), you can properly interpret his statements and actions.

In fact, hooking up is a Boolean operation.

Boolean Algebra

“In mathematics and mathematical logic, Boolean algebra is the subarea of algebra in which the values of the variables are the truth values true and false, usually denoted 1 and 0 respectively. Instead of elementary algebra where the values of the variables are numbers, and the main operations are addition and multiplication, the main operations of Boolean algebra are the conjunction and, denoted ∧, the disjunction or, denoted ∨, and the negation not, denoted ¬.”

She’s interested or she isn’t. 1 or 0. True or False.
You’re interested or you aren’t. 1 or 0. True or False.

Nothing else actually matters. However, if a guy has been self-conditioned via his personal life experiences to believe that spending money -> getting laid, that’s how he’s going to approach the female, whom is either going to be receptive to that technique or reject it for the reason that he’s attempting to “buy her”.

It also works in the other direction.. A guy can step to a chick authentically and suggest a hookup based on mutual attraction, and she might reject that concept with the reasoning being that he hasn’t yet paid her as much as some other dude did for her to spread her legs.

So what I’m saying is that ultimately, guys want to turn a False into a True.

How they attempt to do that will be based on their personal experiences and how difficult the women they’ve encountered have been to bag.

If they have no experience with higher-level women (again, not referring to earning potential, but to women that are having a fuller, more robust experience of life, where they aren’t going to be impressed by or turned on by primitive tactics), there’s no way they can TREAT higher-level women as if they are higher-level women.

It’s not YOU. It’s HIM! 😀

Relevance Assessment

Of course, this is a Catch-22 situation… Guys can’t develop the ability to interact with higher-level women without being around higher-level women. 🙂

Some of us receive this ability through our family situations. Our mothers and grandmothers and aunts and female cousins are quality people who inspire us to interact with women in general in a quality fashion.

Some of us receive it through girlfriends, who teach us by example what it’s like to spend time with quality women, and then when we experience less than that in the future, it’s clear and obvious.

Some of us receive it though the school environment, where pleasant interactions with attractive girls inspire us to interact pleasantly with girls and women going forward in life.

Some of us receive it through the work environment, where our female coworkers, bosses, or clients are stellar human beings and examples of the types of women we would select if we were to, for some odd reason, “settle down”.

Some of us receive it via example. Our fathers, uncles, other elders and peers interact differently with quality and non-quality women, which provides a blueprint for our eventual ascension into The Game.

Some of us never receive the ability to interact with higher-level women at all.. Neither by example nor by experience.

So if you’re looking for advice, attempt to ascertain what kind of women the guy you’re asking has actual experience with.

If he usually pays strippers to hook up with him at the end of the night and that’s what you’re trying to do, take his advice.
If he’s been dating / engaged to / married to the same chick for 9 years and that’s what you’re trying to do, take his advice.
If he has different girls every week and that’s what you’re trying to do, take his advice.

Just don’t cross genres. Don’t accept boyfriend advice from a playboy. Don’t accept playboy advice from some dude that’s been married to the same chick for ages. Don’t accept advice on how to kick it to chicks at a street fair from a guy that pulls all his girls from a country club. Don’t accept advice about how to date regular chicks from a guy that consistently patronizes hookers.

The other day, I was at a bar with a chick and this other chick stumbled over and started socializing with us. 🙂 She was too blitzed to see straight and she didn’t realize that the purse she was frantically searching for was actually connected to her left shoulder.

Some guys will read that as a negative occurrence. Some guys will read that as a POSITIVE occurrence! 😀

If you’re not used to the dynamic random life, don’t try to do what I do. Stick to the basics.

I can move up or down in “weight class” effortlessly. I can chill with the Champagne chicks and I can chill with the Pink Champale chicks.

Different circumstances require different techniques.

It’s always fun to read people’s opinions about dating.

Unless they’re operating on the same difficulty level as you, treat their content strictly as what it is…. Entertainment.


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2 thoughts on “Difficulty Levels”

  1. You always lay it out nice and reasonable like, Bill, and I though this post was really solid.

    Thinking a little about this… in the end you want to impress a lady or, put another way, be memorable for positive reasons. But not by trying to out-compete them. There’s no point in taking out a loan to wine and dine someone above your pay grade because you’ll only be giving them something they already have easy access to and you’ll be broke. Still. You’ve got to reach down deep and give them something different, like authenticity. That could be in short supply, and look, you just cornered the market! At minimum be entertaining and as opposed to faking it ’til you make it, ask questions about shit you don’t know.
    “What was it like to be chased by that lion on the Serengeti?” – See that shows interest and maybe you can relate it to that time you got chased by a mutt on the way home from from school one day in the pre-dog-leash years.

    “Why is this red wine so highly regarded when it tastes like a funky cow’s ass? Send it back, I’ve had better grape Kool-Aid!” Ok, you might not want to say all of this out loud.

    Ignorance is one thing but badly covering your ignorance or faking knowledge is worse especially if you’re trying to make points.

    1. Thank you, Steve. 🙂

      Agreed with your non-competition concept. In fact, there shouldn’t BE any competition between a guy and gal that are interested in each other.

      If she makes more money than you do or can paint better than you can or ride a motorcycle faster (been there, done that, oy vey! 😀 haha) or whatever, that’s just another reason for you to admire her.

      The dudes that are intimidated by chicks get what dudes intimidated by chicks deserve. 😀

      That’s a good point about pay grade, also. I never understood that.. Dudes that try to out-rich chicks.

      There’s no LAW that states that the guy has to be more successful than the chick or have more disposable income.

      That’s actually a really good blog topic, Steve.. People that try to impress people with things they aren’t impressed by.

      As far as authenticity, that’s a great thing when you ACTUALLY have something to bring to the table! 😀 haha For the dudes that don’t…. Well….. \o/

      I always find it funny, though, when I hear dudes talking about what they think they know about women and then they’re all clumsy and wack NOW, so how could it be possible that they were fly back at the time period of the story they’re telling us? 😀 hahaha

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