How Long Should You Date Someone You Can’t Stand?

I’ve had this interaction many times in conversations with dudes:

Dude: “My girl gets on my last nerve.”

Me: “Dump her.”

Dude: “…………………………….. Nah.”

I’ve had *THIS* interaction many times in conversations with chicks:

Chick: “I broke up with my boyfriend because I didn’t like XYZ that he said/did.”

Me: “……….. Oh.”

So the question for today is how long you think you should continue to date someone you can’t stand.

Staying In The Pocket

Guys don’t have a problem dating women that they don’t like as people because likability wasn’t a part of her job description to begin with.

She was probably selected for her looks and/or whatever action they felt they were going to have with her.

Unless, of course, the dude is broke and he’ll kick it to *ANY* chick so he can use her for her money, but that’s a different topic.

So basically, dudes will withstand chicks’ poor personalities for as long as they can before giving up on the action and bailing out when the cons outweigh the pros.

This is also one of the reasons why “sex boycotts” backfire on chicks and they get dumped.. The sex was the only thing keeping them in play, so removing that from the equation leaves the dude no reason to interact with her at all. She just basically accelerated her excommunication.

Women, on the other hand, need to actually like a guy as a person in order to a) date him, and b) feel really physically attracted to him.

This is part of the reason why when a chick is mad at you, she simultaneously accuses you of not hittin’ it properly. 😀 haha Her hatred of you is blocking her chemical reaction to you, and to her, you actually SEEM less attractive, even though you look exactly like you did before you upset her (or before she upset herself on your behalf).

So as soon as she doesn’t like you, you’re on your way out the door, in her mind.

Guys just wonder how much more of this they can stand! 😀


As far as how long you should date this person, I suppose it depends on whether the negativity you’re building up towards them is affecting your personal life.

Can you still work efficiently, or are you taking a lot of breaks during the day to lament about how your “love life” sucks?

Are the cons causing you to not receive all the benefits of the pros? Would you be better off getting someone brand new to date and starting over from scratch?

Are you waiting until you meet someone better before you dump this problematic person?

Are you scared that if you dump them you won’t find anyone else and end up living with your cats?

(I mean.. There’s nothing wrong with living with cats so long as you PLANNED to live with cats.)

I’m sure some of you are thinking “Why would I date someone I don’t like as a person? o_O”

This is because many people put the cart before the horse and start calling their hangouts “dates” and call themselves “dating” someone or “seeing them exclusively” or however they want to label it *BEFORE* actually getting to know very much about that person at all.

It takes time to get to know someone, and a lot of people are in a hurry to be able to tell their friends & family that they’re in a “relationship”.

Often, it doesn’t really matter who it is. They just want to look successful by demonstrating to people that they could convince someone to commit to them. All of a sudden, that person is “The One” and then six months later there’s another “The One” and then another one after that….

So people start finding out whom they’re dating *AFTER* they declare themselves in a “relationship” with that person and then when they figure out they don’t like them, they try to “work it out”. 😀 haha Well there would have been nothing to work out if you would have researched the person BEFORE claiming to be committed to them instead of AFTER.


So there are lots of people dating people they don’t like. I don’t just mean the ones that are stuck with each other because they have kids together, or because they live together and don’t want the added expense of double rent, or because they got married in front of all their loved ones and don’t want to look like losers (in their own opinion) by getting divorced, or because they put on a bunch of weight since they hooked up with this person and they know they can’t get a date anytime soon until they get back in the gym, or because it’s winter and they just want someone to cuddle with and stay warm, or whatever reasons they have for not bouncing and starting all over.

Another thing that can help someone in this situation is compartmentalization.

If you can utilize this, you can have totally different sets of people that you like and people that you hook up with.

That way, when you get sick and tired of the people that make you sick and tired, you can look forward to a reset with someone that you really like, enjoy, and want the best for in life, and you can recharge your positive energy for a couple of weeks until you run out again.

Otherwise.. Yeah.. You might need to dump that hawt chick that gets on your last nerve and hop back on that dating app and start swiping. 😀

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