Tinder: First Impressions

Pretending that people aren’t addicted to this hot-or-not turned dating app situation isn’t efficient anymore.

The best part of the Tinder dating app is when they stamp “Nope” on the chick before whisking her off your screen! 😀 hahaha I think I laugh at that or at least smile every time! 😀 hahaha oh man

Knowledge Changes

Tinder: First Impressions
For those’a youse that have been reading along over the years, you’re aware that I’m anti- dating apps.

For someone that is actually used to getting girls, scrolling through pictures on a phone doesn’t make any sense and it isn’t fun and it isn’t interesting. *YAWN*

However, having spoken to a few people and read a few articles about the situation, I realize that dating app presence may be the most efficient style at this point, simply due to the population’s dependence on it.

It’s like how people drink so much coffee but don’t want to admit that they’re addicts just like any other drug addict.

I don’t touch coffee, except an infrequent espresso, because I hate the taste. I’ve also never smoked a cigarette in my life. I drink a lot of beer.

So pretending like people aren’t addicted to coffee wouldn’t be the most efficient way for me to interact with them.

Similarly.. Pretending that people aren’t addicted to this hot-or-not turned dating app situation isn’t efficient anymore.

Getting The Skinny

So the first thing I did was consult with my homegirl who’s been involved with Tinder for a few years now. She put me up on game about how the app works and her impressions of how the community behaves.

Basically, you swipe left to get a chick outta here and you swipe right to accept a connection to her if she also swipes right to you when/if she sees your profile on her phone.

The first thing I wanted to know was whether there was a way to skip a chick and not make a decision about her. There isn’t. You either accept her or you don’t.

If you do that enough times and your discovery settings are discriminating enough, you will run out of chicks and it says “There are no new chicks near you”.

I was temporarily concerned with this because I only barely set up my profile and didn’t want to permanently discard chicks that I might have actually liked to have met, simply because I don’t have any pictures or text on my profile yet.

That turned out not to be an issue as after a certain amount of time, they put the chicks you swipe left [Nope] on come back up in your results after a period of time has elapsed.

If a chick is just plain busted and you want to ensure that you never see a picture of her ever again in life, you have to block her.. However, I haven’t found that feature yet on the free app. Dunno if it’s a paid feature. There’s something called “report”, but it isn’t that serious as if the chick has actually done something to you by being aesthetically unappealing.

Subdivisions

Knowing that the chicks would eventually recycle, I spent quite some time swiping “Nah” on them and expecting to run out, but I didn’t.

Becoming bored, I had to change the age range I was looking in, as I had already restricted the radius to 1 mile from my current location.

Well.. First of all, haha Having said that I was only searching near me, I immediately saw two of my personal homegirls in my results during this swipefest. 😀 I didn’t swipe right on them since I knew they would recycle, but I’ll do that after I get my pics on my profile so it’s not some random faceless character that’s attempting to contact them.

So changing the age range allowed me to swipe all the chicks away and get that “You’re out of chicks” message.

One of the reasons why it takes so long to get through the list is that there aren’t *ANY* features to narrow your search.

For instance, back in the Match.com days, you could choose to only see profiles of chicks that considered themselves “Athletic”. This often meant that they were actually fat, but that’s neither here nor there as it was a great selection for avoiding flat asses.

On Tinder, there’s no “Don’t show me any chicks with flat asses” parameter.

This is what wastes most of your time.

You have to click on a potential chick… I mean she’s definitely a chick.. I should say a potential match.. And then scroll through her up-to-6 pictures of herself, hoping that she has at least one full-body shot.

If there isn’t one, automatic Nah. Why take chances? 😀

But yeah, you don’t get to order a specific type of chick in any fashion at all. All you get are how old she claims to be and how far away she currently is from your current location.

The smallest search distance you can select on Tinder is 1 mile. This either means they used a radius of 1 mile which means you’re searching for two miles around your current position or it means that you’re searching for 1 mile around your current position, which is 10 blocks in any direction in Manhattan, NYC.

The difference that’s going to make is if you’re using Tinder on the run, which is one of the reasons I even started thinking about this stuff.

On The Move

One of the two reasons I started considering this is I read an article that said that chicks were spending time on Tinder while they were already out at bars. I hadn’t thought about this at all before then. That means that you can be sitting right next to a chick and some dude on a phone app has a better chance of spending time with her tonight than you do.

The other reason was that on NYE, I passed a pack of 9-11 chicks that really had their game together. It would have been impossible, save for mutual attraction, to infiltrate that pack, due to a high percentage of cockblockers.

However.. If I would have been on a dating app and searched within a mile of where I was standing and found one of the chicks and we both swiped right on each other, I’m automatically in like Flynn.

So this feature has great potential for a WIN on the fly.. Post up at a bar and then hang out there swiping chicks in the area. If you land a connection, tell her to come meet you for a drink. It works out or it doesn’t.

Is that better than the regular situation of hitting the streets and seeing what happens? Nope. But at this point, you might need to fish where the fish are.

On top of that, there are a lot of bars that chicks avoid offa General Principle. If you’re not at a wine bar, the number of chicks that are going to randomly arrive is going to be very low. You’re actually better off landing somewhere, swiping, and moving on to a new location if nothing happens. Maybe give them a couple of beers’ worth of time to get back to you before changing venues.

This is also going to be very interesting while traveling.

When I go to the sticks, we might hit a bar in the afternoon and hang out there for hours without much traffic. Tinder could be utilized to announce one’s presence at a location and see if any of the locals bite.

Similarly, if I’m staying somewhere near a hangout but I’m not AT that spot, I can still poll the location for potential meetups.

Ghosts In The Shell

One of the features is called “Super Like”. If you utilize this (you can only do it once per day), the chick can see that you selected her BEFORE she decides whether to select you or not.

I think this is a good idea.. Not the “one per day” part, but the fact that they have it at all. It’s a little more incentive that you can apply if you’re REALLY interested in meeting her.

One of the undocumented features is called “Ghosting”.

Apparently, if you make a connection with someone and then you break that connection with the person, suddenly they can’t see you anymore on the app and you can’t undo the deliberately severed connection.

hmm.. Deliberately Severed… Is Bobbitted a verb? 😀 hahaha I crack myself up! 😀

Anyway… It’s kind of weird that one party can exit the interaction immediately and permanently.

It would seem to me that you could unmatch with someone and then they go back in your pool of potential matches, not into some ban list.

Moving Forward

The first thing I’m going to do is add pictures to my profile, but I can’t imagine what pictures I’d want to add.

I’m going to have to take specifically Tinder-based pictures.

Most of my pics are with chicks and I don’t think that “cut half of a human out of your picture so you can use it for dating” concept is a winner.

The rest of them are pointing out a location I’m in and have nothing to do with trying to make myself an acceptable-looking person for a chick to spend time with.

The most important thing for me will be that they look like what I actually look like. Too many dudes try to get over with old pictures or the best picture that was ever taken of them in their entire lives and chicks are extremely disappointed when they actually meet these people.

Since my goal is going to be actually meeting up IRL, it makes perfect sense to me to be as authentic as possible with pictures, but for some reason, dudes think they can trick chicks into meeting them and then hope to pull out a win after the fact.

The next thing I’ll have to do is add text, which will be some nonsense such as “I like intriguing conversation and midnight walks on the beach”.

This is because nobody actually cares what you have to say. This isn’t Meetup.org so you can find someone to play volleyball or learn Italian with. This is supposed to be for people to receive chemical stimulation from spending time with other people.

The simplicity of the system is a good thing and simultaneously a bad thing.

The lack of ability to narrow down your search results wastes a lot of constant left-swiping time.

The ease of setting up a profile means more accounts will be available.

Clearly, this is going to work better in cities than in the sticks.

A mile away from anywhere I happen to be is going to include THOUSANDS of chicks.

A mile away from someone in the sticks will include a few people and a lot of cows and horses.

I can get a mile away from here in 10 minutes by hopping in a cab that costs me $10 USD.

In the sticks, you’d have to hop in your tractor or All Terrain Vehicle and hope there’s enough gas in it to get you to the chick.

Overall, this should turn out to be more fun than I intended it to be. 😀

Of course, I won’t be “dating” my homegirls because I already hang out with them.

It will be interesting, however, to see what happens when I actually start right-swiping chicks.

I still don’t like this idea, but “When in Rome…”

I’m not really going to have time for more research until March, as February Album Writing Month requires me to create 14 songs in 28 days, but after that, it’s ON & POPPIN’!! 😀

3 thoughts on “Tinder: First Impressions”

  1. haha Nice share, Steve! 😀

    I checked out the video. She had a couple of good tips for the fellaz, but she’s missing the point that if all they’re doing on the site anyway is playing a numbers game trying to get laid, of course they’re going to lead with “Let’s get together tonight” or “Wanna make out?” or whatever lines she was saying dudes kick off conversations with her with.

    She’s right about not making it a dinner date. It should be drinks with the option open to spend more time that evening. Something potentially very short, in case one party doesn’t like the other.

    However, her tips aren’t going to help guys get laid. They’re going to help them maintain conversations with women who say in the beginning of their tip videos that they aren’t looking to get laid. 😀

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