Two months after writing Tinder: First Impressions, I’ve finally had the time and impetus to fill out my Tinder profile.
I live in Manhattan, so according to /www1.nyc.gov/site/planning/data-maps/nyc-population/current-future-populations.page, as of July 2014, approximately 1,636,268 people live on this island, which means approximately 818,119 women within our 13 miles:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manhattan – Although New York County is the United States’ second-smallest county by land area (behind only Kalawao County, Hawaii), it is also the country’s most densely populated county. It is also one of the most densely populated areas in the world, with a census-estimated 2014 population of 1,636,268 living in a land area of 22.83 square miles (59.13 km2), or 71,672 residents per square mile (27,673/km2). On business days, the influx of commuters increases that number to over 3.9 million, or more than 170,000 people per square mile (65,600/km2).
As you can see, even if I use a Tinder Search Distance of 1 mile, that still includes approximately 35,836 women.
Another benefit of leaving Search Distance on 1 mile is that I get an entirely new batch of chicks if I’m currently located in a different part of town.
If I DON’T do that, I just plain never run out of chicks no matter how many times I swipe.
Believe me.. All it takes is 5 minutes worth of swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe for you to start hoping you’re approaching the end of the list.
You also get to select an age range. This is an important consideration also.
Even at a 1 mile Search Distance, if you leave the range on something like 26-46, you will nevAr run out of chicks.
This is also a bad idea if you’re actually interested in a specific range because they aren’t ordered by age. You get a 26 then a 42 then a 31 then a blah blah blah and it keeps switching up on you.
This is annoying because it doesn’t emulate real life. I mean it’s annoying TO ME because I actually do this for real while most people only do this on their phones.
There’s nowhere you can go, except maybe Wal-Mart where you can pick up a 26-year-old chick *AND* a 46-year-old chick, and Manhattan doesn’t have any of those.
Bars, understandably, are segregated by age, class, and style.
You know where to go if you want a frat environment.
You know where to go if you want to meet sophisticated, accomplished women.
You can’t get both at the same time.
So if you leave the age range wide on Tinder, you get a strange assortment of chicks that’s more distracting than interesting or useful.
The better idea is to select maybe a 5-year wide age range, exhaust that, then move the bar up or down to the next set of 5 years.
Another thing that’s weird about Tinder, or I suppose *any* dating app that lets you “see” all the women that want to be seen within a 20-block radius of where you’re currently standing, is that it really isn’t likely that you would see so many women that you might “swipe right on” in one location.
(In case you aren’t aware, you swipe to the right to indicate interest and swipe to the left to indicate disinterest.)
Normally, there’s an obvious hierarchy which dictates your actions and movements.
Also normally, there aren’t more than 5 chicks in a particular spot that you would swipe right on, and in order to get more, you’d have to move to the next bar and try your luck again.
So it’s a little strange to be able to browse hundreds of women in a few minutes, but I guess that’s the game we’re playing now.
It’s also strange when you see your friends on Tinder, but when you have 5,000 FB Friends, that’s going to happen.
Selecting via phone essentially allows you to see through walls as if you had used a cheat code or thermal vision on a video game. You get to make decisions before you leave your house instead of when you get to the bar… In fact… You get to make the decision *WHETHER* you’re leaving your house.
Now You See Him…
Apparently, the only way you can communicate with someone on Tinder is if both’a youse have swiped right on each other.
I haven’t ventured that far into the process yet, but friends of mine who use Tinder all the time have let me know how the system works.
An interesting aspect of this feature is what’s referred to as “Ghosting”.
Ghosting is when you’re talking to someone and then suddenly you aren’t.
Apparently, if someone “un-swipe-right”s you, the connection is broken and there’s no communication between the two of you on the app.
This gives people incentive to move the conversation off of Tinder ASAP if they’re actually interested in the person they’re talking to.
For the few guys that read my blog (My viewership is something like 80% women), https://youtu.be/WjEjcUqxj-s I’ll offer you the insight that chicks generally don’t give a flying **** about whatever bitchassed problems you have and you’re better off keeping that to yourself.
If you think that kind of drivel is going to convince her that you’re a deep, caring person, save it for David because David is going to be the only person you have left to talk to when she Ghosts you.
I think the discussion disconnection feature is useful and a good idea for comfort and safety reasons, but it isn’t realistic. It’s like meeting a chick in a bar and then when you find out y’all aren’t compatible, you banish her from the bar. 😀 haha Real Life doesn’t work that way. *YOU* have to go find another bar where you won’t have to see her.
Another tip for tha fellaz is to escalate ASAP.
Whatever it is you’re looking to get out of being on Tinder, get to the point as soon as your game-kicking script allows and see what happens.
Otherwise, you look like some lonely dude that feels like typing on Tinder to chicks you don’t actually know and never met before. If they were interested in that, they would have stayed on AOL or MySpace. GTFO
Now You Don’t…
Another unrealistic aspect is the age range selection parameter.
Let’s say hypothetically that you’re 32 and you’re interested in 45-year-old women.
In real life, you would merely go where 45-year-old women go and try your luck. (Restaurants, Wine Bars, Private Clubs, Apartment Parties…)
On Tinder, if you aren’t in the age range she’s selected, she’ll never see you at all in order to make the decision about whether she wants to swipe left or right on you.
At the apartment party, she’ll find out that you’re 32 after the fact… Potentially WAAAAYYY after the fact, Nah Meen? 😉
You can’t be restricted from going to the apartment party other than if you weren’t invited. There’s no age restriction on getting into the party and throwing your hat in the ring.
So I doubt Tinder is programmed to say “I know you said you only want to meet men who are currently between the ages of 45 and 50, but this 32-year-old dude swiped right on you so we thought we’d check to see if you were interested”.
[Actually.. Now, I wonder whether TInder is “reverse engineered” to only show YOU women who have included you in THEIR age range selection. That would be pretty interesting because it would mean that the women you’re offered change when they change their selection criteria and when your age changes.]
At least there’s no INCOME parameter. 😀
Those are so stupid because a) There’s no actual proof that the dating app requires in order to say you make X amount of money, and b) Everybody’s just going to *LIE* and say they make over $250,000 USD/year so they don’t get excluded from any of the chicks’ search results.
Unfortunately, there’s no body type parameter. You have to hope the chick uploaded a full-body shot so you can judge for yourself.
Those never really worked anyway, as chicks deliberately miscategorized themselves as Athletic when they should actually have selected one of the higher weight classes.
Still, It was good to be able to sharpen your search to at least the women who *THOUGHT* they fit the description of what you were physically interested in.
I like the fact that you’re not aware of whether someone has swiped left or right on you when you see their profile.
You get to boost your ego by assuming that either they haven’t seen your picture yet or that they swiped right already and are just waiting for you to right-swipe them back! 😀 hahaha
However, this is a lame substitute for catching a gal’s eye across a crowded bar and sharing a knowing glance.
Attraction is physical. It’s chemical. It’s a reaction your body has to someone’s presence. It’s based on how they look, how they stand, their confidence or lack thereof, how they walk, what they believe about themselves, what they believe about you, how they’re affected by you, how they treat you, how they treat others…
There’s so much to it when you do this for real that just isn’t and can’t be a part of a dating app on your phone.
IRL, From one second to the next, you go from sheer boredom to complete excitement and knowing what you need to do. The moment dictates your thoughts, words, and actions.
Half of the fun of walking into a bar is not knowing who’s already in there and not knowing who’s going to show up after you select your drink and your spot to chill.
Half of the fun of meeting women IRL on the fly is that you don’t know if they like you or not until the very second when you know, and then she’s right there in front of you.
It’s that split second between before and after you say “Hello” to the cashier and she smiles in a way where you understand that she appreciates and likes you.
It’s the feeling you get when you’re sweating some chick and then you catch her checking you out and hoping that you walk over and introduce yourself to her.
It’s that interaction where you playfully intimate what you plan to do to her later and she laughs in your face and boldly dares you to do it…
None of that has anything to do with swiping left or right on pictures of chicks on a smartphone.
It’s almost like Date Insurance.
Do you want to go out with me? Great. I want to go out with you too. Have your people call my people.
Yet and Still, in 2016, The best place to meet women may very well be on your phone because they’re not even bothering to go to bars anymore. They’re sitting at home, sipping from a glass of wine, swiping left and right, and no amount of IRL hunting is going to cause you to meet them unless your job is delivering pizza.
This is a totally new game and it’s time to learn how to play it efficiently.
My uneducated guess is that the way to go will be narrow age ranges and wide distance ranges… I mean at least up to a 7 mile radius covering the 13 miles of Manhattan, because who wants to travel to Brooklyn? \o/